A/N: Dude this has been sitting on my computer open for months! I get the feeling someone might punch me for being so late with this update and it would totally justified. So ashamed... You can totally ignore the a/n and just get straight to the chapter...

I don't really have an excuse. Just the usual writer's block and working constantly normal stuff. All I can really say for this chapter is that Myrrah's pattern of thinking is further explored. I hope it will explain why she'll behave the way she does in upcoming chapters. She is barely 15 after all. Who has their shit together at 15?

I own nothing! Criticize me! It makes me stronger! Raaaaaawr! But gently cause I'm sensitive...

Thank you for reading. Please review!

"A sickened mind and spirit. The mirror tells me lies. Could I mistake myself for someone who lives behind my eyes?" Diary of a Madman/ Ozzy Osbourne


"Myrrah-chan, can you go bring some water?"

"Sure, of course." Myrrah accepted the empty pale from Kana who had just delivered Aniu's third litter.

Myrrah's stay with the wolf demon tribe had extended to almost 2 months by now and to avoid painful thoughts of her birth parents or her adoptive guardians, Myrrah worked herself to the point of near collapse. The matriarch of the healers, Kana, had taken her in as an apprentice. It was perfect because the old woman was relentless. Never a quiet moment and a place with true purpose. Even a permanent place in the tribe. The thought of staying permanently had crossed Myrrah's mind. Living out the remainder of her life here had become a little fantasy of hers. The alphas liked her, they appreciated her contributions, and Ryuk made it clear on multiple occasions that he wanted her to stay.

After reaching the stream, Myrrah splashed some cool water onto her face to calm her sudden thundering heart. Her most vivid and perpetual fantasy was one where she was bonded to Ryuk. The fabrication consisted of their wedding, the holy mating ritual, their children, and just spending eternity together. Myrrah lightly slapped her own cheek, embarrassed that she could think that way when they were both so young. Of course Myrrah had feelings for the youngest wolf prince. You would have to be blind not to notice, but it was just taking her some time to tell him. It was especially difficult when she couldn't look at him without becoming red in the face. They were always so comfortable around each other, able to talk about anything and everything. They had even been naked about each other with no blushing or bashful behavior. Why was this suddenly happening? Why was this so hard? To make matters even more awkward, it seemed that she was receiving encouragement from everyone in the tribe. The incessant teasing and silent laughs behind their backs were maddening.

She rushed back up the mountain back to the dens as fast as her blood allowed. If she didn't keep her mind constantly busy, it would drift to more uncomfortable thoughts. At least the thoughts of Ryuk were more pleasant than others. Myrrah exorcised such strong control that she hadn't allowed herself to think of them in a long while, dangerously repressing her memories and all cognition. Her resolve was truly tested when Rin's scent wafted through Myrrah's senses a few weeks ago. She was close. She was in the dens, but Myrrah saw no physical traces of Rin. Koga and Ayame acted routinely, reasonably to spare Myrrah's feelings. No one spoke a whisper of a human woman trespassing in wolf territory. Myrrah smothered any type of feeling. Any more anxiety and the young girl would collapse.

Korra jogged alongside Myrrah the entire and affectionately licked her fingertips. Korra had unofficially became Myrrah's 'match', accompanying her everywhere. Another wonderful perk to her stay with the wolf tribe. She returned to the healing den to see an exhausted Aniu and Kana tending to the new pups. Korra immediately joined her mother's side while Myrrah began to help clean the newborns. After overcoming her shock of seeing a live birth, it became a simple task. Myrrah had a promising future as a midwife.

"Myrrah-chan, you've done more than enough for today," Kana told her once the new pups were settled with their mother. "Go assist with the preparations."

"Right!" Myrrah shot right up, already sensing it in Kana's tone. "Excuse me," She dashed out of the healing den, leaving her mentor, Aniu, and all her children behind. Incredibly glad that she avoided another typical teasing session with her instructor, Myrrah set out to find the other victim of everyone's jokes. Felan soon came into sight. "Felan-san! Have you seen-" She was cut off when Felan stuck her nose in the air and promptly ignored her. Myrrah's raised hand fell back to her side. She sighed loudly. It was expected.

Felan had been... rigid with Myrrah lately. It was the little things: ignoring her, flipping over her meals, tripping, hair tugging, snide comments about the daiyokai's appearance, even blatantly competing with her for Ryuk's attention. Myrrah and her whimsical, naive mind could not fathom the reasons behind Felan's harsh behavior.

When Ryuk had entered her golden sight, Myrrah pulled the hem of her fur skirt down as far as it could go. A subtle way to cover her thighs. She was never one to be self conscious but Felan's negative remarks regarding her body were starting to get to her! Myrrah began to realize just how different she was and everything that was wrong with her began to stick out. Myrrah now saw her body as boyish and immature. Her ears were too big. Her eyes were an unnatural, disturbing color. Her hair was growing unevenly. Her thighs were too big while her breasts were underdeveloped. Where as Felan was above average in all aspects of female anatomy. She had never felt this way before.

Just when Myrrah was about to call out to him, Felan appeared out of nowhere. In a heartbeat, she sweetly redirected Ryuk's attention to her and lead him away, while Myrrah just stood there like a stupid stick. Myrrah cast her eyes downward. He didn't even seem to mind. With her apprenticeship and with Ryuk's older brother getting married that night, they both had been so busy the past few weeks. She was hoping to spend a little time with him. As Felan and Ryuk grew a smaller in her sight, Myrrah felt herself grow smaller herself. For some reason, it made her insides feel tight.

The day dragged on without Ryuk coming back to her. When the preparations for Kiba's and Larka's wedding began, Myrrah was swept to the sidelines where she served as a simple handmaiden to the bride. (Which she didn't mind. Larka adored her.) After the ceremony, the feast and dancing began. When the rhythmic drumming sent the party into full swing, Myrrah's first thought was to dance with her wolf prince. Just as she was about to make her move she was ambushed by a group of persistent young males. She threw a glance to her prince to see that he was busy with his newlywed brother, his wife, and Felan. They looked so engrossed in their conversations that Myrrah allowed herself to be led away by her suiters. It wasn't too bad and Myrrah absolutely loved dancing. One particular male got a little handsy but that was fixed with a baring of her pearl fangs.

After an hour of hip swinging, Myrrah felt a familiar burn shoot up from her right leg. To her hip. Than across her back. The intense pain nearly caused the young woman to faint. Her knees buckled and she would have hit the ground if Liekos hadn't caught her.

"Are you alright, Myrrah?" He held her gently by the waist. She quickly steadied herself and pushed the male away. Liekos repeated his question and pulled her back to him.

"I guess I'm just tired," Myrrah smiled brightly despite the pain chewing at half her body. She slowly walked away suppressing a limp. "I'm going to rest for a little while."

Myrrah didn't even wait for a reply from her dance partner. The young demon slid away from the celebration and the rest of the waiting males. The light from the bonfires grew dimmer the further she went. She collapsed near a swelling stream. The stars and moon were all awake and casting a light as bright as the sun. She gingerly peeled down her white fur leg warmer. Although the wound had been treated, Myrrah still suffered hour long bouts of pain from the spiritual power of her sister's arrow. She managed to hid it but she was glad that they were at least becoming less frequent. The little demon wasn't sure how long she sat by the weak river but the sounds it made were enjoyable. So much pleasant noise that all the other troublesome thoughts were drowned out. It was nice. However, she soon picked up his scent and heard his footsteps a mile away. She knew everything about him after all.

"Ryuk?" She called when he got close enough.

"Your leg still hurts?" He plopped down next to her. She nodded meekly.

He leaned his face closer to her leg and undid the wrappings. The wound wasn't bleeding but there was still a grizzly opening. Myrrah tried to stop him but he kept swatting her little claws away. The little pouting daiyoukai closed her eyes to not see Ryuk's reaction to her ugly leg. She waited for the sounds of repulsion but instead felt a pleasant warmth. He was running his tongue gently across her wound. All brain functions stopped as the tingly spread from her wounded leg, coiled deliciously in her belly, and lastly inflamed her cheeks. Ryuk had done this to her before when they were children but it seemed much more intimate now and she didn't know what to with these sensations. With a really pitiful squeak, Myrrah snapped her leg back and hugged it close.

"Myrrah?" The young man scooted dangerously close to Myrrah, but she kept her eyes cast downwards. "Did that hurt?" Myrrah opened her mouth and sounds came out but she was pretty sure they weren't coherent. The wolf prince shrugged and gathered the trembling girl in her arms. "You'll be okay." He whispered into her hair.

The teenager in his arms was absolutely shell-shocked. Her cheeks were stained a dark crimson and her heart was beating dangerously in her chest, which she hoped Ryuk couldn't hear. Why was she acting like such a spazz? She couldn't even form a proper sentence no matter how many times she told herself to act normal. The smell of his skin seemed to drive Myrrah over the edge. Like a deep forest. A handsome, muscular forest. Myrrah buried her face in his chest before it exploded. Ryuk mistook her excited quivering for sobbing and held her even tighter to him.

Unable to take it anymore, Myrrah flattened her palms and gently pushed Ryuk away. The young wolf prince stubbornly kept his arms locked around her waist.

"What's wrong?" He asked straight up when he saw her red, tear free face. His cool touch felt nice against her hot cheeks. "Do you have a fever?"

Myrrah shock her head, not trusting herself with words. She was only out of his little nook for a few moments before she missed his warmth. She attempted to snuggle back up to him again, but he held her back.

"Can you talk? With, you know, words?" He used that tone that mad her smile and pissed off at the same time.

"My wound has been hurting for a while now," Myrrah managed to speak clearly while concentrating on anything besides Ryuk's piercing eyes.

"It's been more than a month. Shouldn't it have healed a little bit by now?"

"Mou, I don't know what's wrong." Myrrah drew her injured leg up to her chest.

Ryuk was silent for a few moments.

"If we don't have the methods to treat you here, maybe our other tribes can help."

Many thoughts sprang up at this one singular sentence. Thoughts that created new thoughts and suddenly there was a stream of ridiculousness running through Myrrah's brain. All the insane romantic fantasies played out in her head. Maybe he would propose to her after a battle atop of a mountain. Mind you all of this happened in the span of about four seconds.

"R-Really?" Myrrah peeped. This time, successfully snuggling against her love's chest.

"Of course," He mindlessly played with the tips of her silver hair. "Can't have you limping around constantly."

"Am I that obvious?" Myrrah pouted.

"To me you are, baka. You've been like this for weeks." He flicked her forehead.

Ryuk grinned down at her. She was so adorable with that pout on her lips while she massaged her stingy forehead. She gave him a smile that didn't reach her golden eyes. He noticed that had been happening a lot lately. He sighed and hugged her tighter.

"How are you holding up?"

"Other than my injury, I'm okay," A straight up lie. "Why did you follow me out here?" Subject change.

"Like I wouldn't have anyway," He teased and squeezed a little too hard. She mad a cute little squeak to show she did not approve of that hug. "That... and to stop myself from beating all those fucking males to death."

"Eh?"

"Forget it."

"M'kay. You think the other tribes will be able to help me?"

"We'll never know unless we try. Besides with all that's happened, You could use a constructive adventure."

"The pups have been asking for new stories."

"I just need to get permission from the alpha and than we can leave."

"How soon?"

"Soon as possible. I'll ask when we get back."

"...Just the two of us?"

"Why? Do you want to bring anybody?"

"Do we need anybody else?"

"Hell no!" He flicked her forehead again. "We need no one!" he exclaimed dramatically and squeezed her again.

Myrrah laughed. A real heartfelt laugh. It made her body light the way on Ryuk could. For a blissful second, Myrrah forgot about everything. Ryuk returned her smiles.

"There it is." Ryuk sighed and lowered his head until his chin rested on her shoulder.

"If we leave, we might might meet them." her voice was hoarse and foreign to him.

"What will you do if that happens?"

"Run."

"That won't work for long."

"I don't know what else to do..."

"It's fucked up but you will need to speak with them."

Myrrah felt her eyes burn. She was sure that she had figured everything out. That she was strong and had made the decision to handle this situation her way. Why was it that when the subject came about, Myrrah wanted nothing more than bury herself and cry?

"I'll never see them," she bit out. "Ever."

"What about Sesshomaru?"

Her Sessha. Hearing the name felt like taking an arrow straight to the heart. She could never face them again. Avoiding them was the only solution. She was fine with never having answers. As long she never had to think or speak with them ever again. Ryuk took her silence as sign to shut up himself. He sat quietly and simply cuddled her.