HI Readers! I apologise yet again for the slow update! Balancing fanfic as well as GCSE's and everything else life brings, it's been hard keeping on top of everything. BUT i have finally done it and there's a juicy chapter waiting to be read so i won't talk long. Just thought i'd mention the amazing CammieAMorgan yet again who helped write the first part of this- you're an angel! That's all- I hope you like it. Sorry, it's not my best writing but i do love the Zammie in this chapter. It's cheesy and full on and everything you probably wouldn't want in a story but hey ho- i'm learning. ENJOY! :) xx
Cammie POV:
At least that's what nearly happened. I didn't realise what I did next would turn out the way it did…
10 hours before
"Yes. You're the only one." I answered before kissing him softly on the lips. After a few seconds he began to kiss back, his tongue asking for entrance into mine. Things began to get more heated as he moved his hands slowly down my body. Before I knew it, he was taking both our tops off, placing gentle kisses on my collarbone. I want this. I thought to myself. Zach's not around anymore. I can finally let go of him.
"Are you sure?" He asked as I tugged on his jeans.
Afraid of what I might say if I spoke, I kissed him even more forcefully. Josh's hand began to skate down my body. Not the feather light touches that I hoped for, but aggressive, rushed actions like I was a prize he needed to claim. Just like that, a switch went off in my head and warning alarms sounded. I could no longer lose myself in his actions but became aware of how hurried it was all becoming.
"Stop" I muttered, trying to shake him off me. His grip tightened.
"What's wrong babe?" He snapped.
"Just…please…get off of me" I replied, pushing his shoulders away and ripping us apart. I immediately got my jumper on and clambered into my leggings.
"What the fuck? I thought you wanted this! You were practically begging me two seconds ago!" He exclaimed, anger lighting his eyes.
"I do…I do want you but…not like this". The realisation that I was going to have sex with a boy I'd only known a month with Zach right next door turned my stomach into knots. "I'm just…not ready"
"You were ready 2 fucking minutes ago!"
"Please, Josh. Can't we just…watch a movie or something?"
"I don't want to watch a fucking movie!" He shouted, his temper raising.
"Josh-please"
"For Fuck sake Cammie! What is it with you and your games? Do you enjoy leading guys on? Is that what you do? Fuck with our minds?"
"No. Of course not, Josh-"
"I was about to tell you that I loved you, did you know that? I thought you were ready to be with me. All of you. I was wrong."
"What? Josh. I…I lo-"
"Save it Cammie. I don't want to hear it. Maybe that's why your dad isn't around. You're mum fucked him over as well." As soon as the words left his mouth I felt a cold chill run down my spine and tears prick my eyes. He didn't know the truth about my dad… he doesn't know what I did.
"Get. Out." I hissed. He wouldn't move. "GET OUT!" I screamed grabbing the closest object I could find and hurling it at his head.
"What the fuck you crazy bitch?" He shouted, slamming the door and storming out the house. My insides felt hollow. My heart felt like it had been ripped out my chest and stamped on continuously. How could Josh say that about my mom? My dad? All I wanted was for Zach to hold me, just like he did that night on the balcony. But I can't. He hates me. And that fact alone broke me; that I had lost my best friend to someone who could never compare to him. I looked through my doors to the balcony across from me. His curtains were shut. The ones which were always open just in case I needed him. Falling to the floor, I cried myself to sleep. This time I didn't have anyone to keep me safe from my monsters. I was alone. And it was all my fault.
10 hours later
"Cammie! What are you doing on the floor?" Bex exclaimed, waking me from my sleep. Groggily, I opened my eyes.
"Bex? What are you doing here?" I asked warily- I must look like a wreck.
"Jesus Christ you look like a wreck. What happened?" She asked, cautiously making her way over to me. "Cammie?"
As I looked into her loving eyes, I couldn't hold back my feelings anymore and I broke, telling her about everything that happened.
"I'm. Going. To. Kill. That. Boy" Bex hissed, clenching her fists until her knuckles went white.
"Bex- calm down. It's…It's fine, okay? Just leave it alone."
"No. He disrespected your dad, Cammie. He knows how sensitive you are about that subject. God he should have known better! Get dressed. Now. We're going to school." She argued before walking out the room to call Macey. Not long after I tidied myself up, we arrived at school where Macey and Liz came rushing to meet me with hugs.
"Cam. I swear to god I will hurt that boy until he's begging for mercy." Macey whispered in my ear.
"Yeah. I am soooo ready to hack into the school files and get him expelled." Liz added in the most malicious tone she could muster.
"Thanks guys." I replied, smiling weakly. Suddenly a voice shouted out in the air "SLUT".
"Come on Cam lets go inside" Bex suggested before leading me indoors where I was met with dirty looks and harsh remarks.
"SLAG"
"LOSER"
"Guys?" I asked close to tears. What's happening? Did I do something wrong?
"Don't worry Cammie. I'm sure its just one of those phases." Macey muttered, sharing worried looks with Liz and Bex. As we made our way to homeroom I felt my confidence shrink with every step I took, it was like I was a disease and everyone was trying to stay as far away from me as they could. So many emotions and thoughts swirled through my mind, yet I couldn't think of one reason why people were saying these things about me. Then I saw him, looking down at the floor, sad and miserable. And for a moment I let myself believe that he only said those things in the heat of the moment. That he didn't mean anything he said. So, I started to make my way over to him.
"Cammie-don't! I'll deal with that son of a-" Bex started. I turned back round, grabbing onto her arm.
"Bex. It's okay. You don't need to do that. I'm going to go over and talk to him."
"WHAT? Cammie. Did you just forget what he said to you?" She huffed.
"No. But I think some things were said that weren't meant to be. I overreacted a lot and I feel really bad for it."
"CAMERON!"
"BEX! Stop! I'm fine. I'll see you guys in homeroom." I stated before taking a deep breath and walking over to him and his group of friends.
"What's up whore?" Taylor sneered. Ignoring him I looked over at Josh with pleading eyes.
"Josh can I talk to you." I asked. "Alone."
His piercing blue eyes looked at me sceptically before replying, "Anything you need to say to me you can say in front of the guys."
"Fine. I just came to apologise for the way I reacted last night. You said some hurtful things and I hurt you and-"
His throaty laugh sounded through the air, "What are you talking about?"
"What do you mean? You hurt me and I hurt you and"
"Are you hearing this boys?" He chuckled. "Babe… you didn't hurt me one bit. I don't give a shit about you or your pathetic feelings."
"What? But you looked so sad and I-"
"The only reason I looked sad was because I lost the bet. Since you were such a frigid bitch, I never got to sleep with you. Meaning I lost 300 dollars. Now everyone knows what the real you looks like…a sad desperate loser. "
My heart stopped. It was all just a game? Everything we said to one another, everything we had…was a lie. Suddenly I feel tears prick at my eyes. A rush of heat whooshes through my body like a forest fire. Not again. Please not now.
"I…I have to-" I couldn't breathe. The walls were closing in on me. Get out of there Cammie. Stumbling, I ran into the closest room I could find and sank to the floor. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't swallow. All I could do was think about the boy who had betrayed me and how quickly my throat was closing up. Help! Somebody please help… As a result of my blurry eyesight and fuzzy hearing I didn't realise anyone was in the room with me until they placed their hands on either side of my face. Slowly I opened my eyes and saw the emerald green that I cared for so much.
"Zach?" I choked, still struggling for air.
"Gallagher Girl, I'm here. Calm down. Take deep breaths."
"I'm having a p-panic attack." I whispered, tears streaming down my face.
"Just try and think about something else. Anything else." He replied worriedly.
"Like what?" I breathed.
"Happy things. Good things. Uhh- friends. Family." I looked at him despairingly. Dad. "Argh I mean- not family."
I started to feel very lightheaded and grabbed onto Zach for stability.
"Shit! Um… Just try and slow your breathing." He offered, taking breaths with me. Nothing would work.
"I…I c-can't" I gasped. "I c-can't"
"Sshh Cammie, look at me." He whispered, " Cammie look at me."
Every word he said became fainter and fainter. I just wanted to let go.
"Sssh…Cammie…stay awake…Cammie" he breathed before looking at my lips and planting his own against them. My breath hitched in my throat as I stared at his closed eyes in shock. Zach was kissing me. Zachary Lewis Goode. My best friend. After getting past the initial feeling of surprise I sank into the kiss, enjoying the feeling of safe and comfort he brought with him. A few seconds later we pulled apart slowly, staring intently into eachother's eyes.
"Wh- How did you do that?" I asked gently.
"I..uh…I read once that if you hold your breath you could stop a panic attack." He explained. "So…when I kissed you…uh…you held your breath."
"I did?"
"You did." He whispered, smiling gently at me.
"Thanks." I replied.
"Anytime Gallagher Girl." He answered before cradling me to his body. We stayed like this for a few minutes before I decided to speak.
"Zach?" I asked sitting up.
"Yeah?"
"I'm so sorry about everything that-"
"No. Cammie. I should be the one apologising. I had no right to do that to Josh. It's not like you're my girlfriend or-"
"Zach. Please just let me speak." I whispered, "I am so so sorry for not listening to you. You were- are my best friend and I shouldn't have just jumped to conclusions without hearing your side of the story. It's just- I didn't want to lose Josh. He…he made me feel like I was worth living. He made me feel alive and I didn't want to accept that he could do something so horrid. And-"
"Are you finished?" He asked smirking. "Cammie. You don't need someone to make you feel like you're worth living. You are special just the way you are and I can't believe you don't see it everyday. You are the most selfless, most amazing, smart, beautiful girl I have ever met and a douchebag like Josh doesn't deserve to be in your company. You deserve to live your life to the fullest, by your terms and conditions. Every single piece of you is worth living. Hell I don't think I would even be able to live without you in my life. So for god's sake please break up with the guy because I can't stand the way you look at him. He's nothing compared to you."
I stared at him in shock for the second time that day. I never would have thought that Zach thinks that of me. It made me realise just how special I was being able to call him my friend. "When did I get so lucky?"
He smiled at me lovingly, "You're not the one who got lucky."
"Josh and I broke up last night." I sobbed. "It turns out you were right. Our whole relationship was a lie based on some stupid bet. I wouldn't sleep with him because I felt like I was betraying you. I just couldn't do it. And then…he started calling me a frigid bitch and how my dad left because my mum fucked him over too. I just c-can't believe I f-fell for him."
"I swear Cam I will finish what I started. That mother-" He muttered before moving to get up.
"Zach. Don't. He's not worth it. Besides, I don't want you getting hurt."
"Don't worry about me Gallagher Girl. I can take care of myself." He reasoned.
I walked over to him and cupped his face in my hands, "I know you can. But for me, just let him be ignored like the dirt he is. You don't deserve your time getting wasted on him."
"But-"
"No buts. Come on let's get to class. We've wasted enough time as it is." I replied, grabbing his hand and leading him outside. Just as we were about to go into the classroom he pulled me aside.
"Cammie? Just…just know that I'm always going to be here for you. Whatever problems you have are my problems. I don't want you to ever think that your alone, okay? Promise me you'll tell me if something's wrong. Promise me."
Taking in his words I reached up and kissed him on the cheek. " I promise." Walking into the classroom with Zach by my side made me feel like nothing could hurt me. It made me feel worthy. That I could face the disgusted looks and remarks from my classmates. Because as long as I had him, and my mom and my friends. I'd be okay. Even if it meant everyone else in the school hated me.
REPLIES:
Smiles180- YES WAY. But they didn't really "seal the deal" i hope that's okay with you. Most people preferred it if they didn't and i think it turned out better this way. Hope you liked it xx
CammieAMorgan- Hope you liked how this chapter turned out. THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP YET AGAIN! xx
4EverAGallagherGirl- Yeah...It was quite irrational of her to just deny Zach so quickly but she just didn't want to believe that her boyfriend could ever do such a thing. Me too! It makes me feel less bad about hating Josh so much haha. Hope you liked this chapter xx
Flash 2.0- Still alive i hope? :) I love Zach's protectiveness over Cammie even though they're just friends (for now...). You'll see a lot more of his caring side and back story soon! Hope you liked xx
Priya- I guess this chapter answered your question but if it was confusing, yes she is still a virgin xx
Guest- Your wish is my command and you'll find out more about Zach's backstory soon enough! Sorry about the Cammie denial, i just thought it would bring more tension to the characters. And don't worry, i plan on there being a lot more chapters :) xx
Sophie Zielonka: You'll just have to keep on reading to find out. This chapter definitely made Cammie realise a few things... as to what she realised you'll have to find out next chapter...sorry hehe xx
