Chapter 9: The Force


Meetra slowly pulled herself and Anakin out of their meditation hours later. She felt... lighter, relieved. A weight off her shoulders, and by the look of it, Anakin felt better too.

"I don't think I'm ever going to complain about sitting and meditating again," said Anakin sheepishly.

Meetra gave him a wry smile. "I suppose not. Come, lets get something to eat and set a course before I sit down and try explain the Force."

"Try?" said Anakin.

Meetra slowly shook her head. "Trying to explain the Force with words is sorely inadequate when it's so much more than anyone could possibly understand."

She isn't surprised, when she opens the door to the dormitory wing, to see Shmi Skywalker waiting as patiently as she can outside for them. The woman's eyes instantly focus on Anakin, and then shined with relief.

"Hi mom, sorry I worried you," said Anakin, scratching his head.

Shmi merely gives him a smile. "It's alright Ani, why don't you go see Kitster? I had him chopping vegetables in the kitchen. You can help him prepare dinner."

"'Kay!" said Anakin cheerfully before rushing down the hall.

The moment Anakin left their sight, Shmi's eyes hardened and she turned to Meetra. "What. Happened. To. My. Son."

The steel in the demand showed that even as a former slave, Shmi has a spine and a spirit. "We... have a Force Bond."

"A what?" asked Shmi.

"As his teacher, he and I have a bond through the Force," explained Meetra with hesitation, "It connects us to one another. Allows us to communicate, send thoughts and feelings and memories to one another."

Shmi pondered it for a moment before her eyes narrowed. "That's all well and good, but you're not saying something."

Meetra pursed her lips, this woman was perceptive. "Bonds are... an unfortunate specialty of mine, I make them far deeper and more intertwined than normal. What effects me effects Anakin, and what effects him effects me."

"And what exactly was it that affected you so much it sent my son into a state where almost all he could do was shiver and hold himself?" asked Shmi.

"The Dark Side of the Force, it wasn't by his will, but, it was his first brush with it as an unprepared and untrained nine-year old extremely Force Sensitive young boy," answered Meetra quietly, "I'm going to explain it to Anakin after we eat. I think..."

She made a decision. "I think I'd like you and Kitster to be there, to help you understand as well."

Shmi nodded slowly. "Agreed."

She again stared at Meetra. "This 'bond' is dangerous to him, to both of you, isn't it?"

Meetra nodded. "Yes."

Shmi sighed. "Please, try to not let it hurt him. I couldn't bear to lose him, to watch that happen to him again."

"I'll do my best," said Meetra softly, "But so must you."

"Excuse me?" said Shmi.

"While you are not Force Sensitive, you are bonded to him as well, a familial bond so deep it's unlike anything I've ever seen," admitted Meetra.

"Surely you've felt it," said Meetra, "Always aware of him somehow when you're close, know when something is amiss with him, can figure out his mood before he's said or done anything, know what's on his mind."

Shmi seemed taken aback. "That's... I thought..."

"That it was a mother's intuition?" said Meetra, humored, "Perhaps some of it is, but not all. It's probably been strange for you the last few days with him gone, like something's missing, a hole in your life where he used to fill, a presence in the back of your mind."

Shmi was silent for a moment, eyes furrowed in thought before giving one brief noiseless nod.

"You won't be able to share memories or communicate since you're not actually Force Sensitive, at least I think you wont," admitted Meetra, "You're bond IS on a level of strength I haven't seen before, so who knows."

"However," said Meetra, "There is a danger to it. As you are aware of him, he will especially be aware of you. Even at a great distance, if you were in trouble, he'd..."

"He'd know," interrupted Shmi softly, "He was always so concerned for me when he was younger, when Gardulla owned us. He always knew when I had been beaten or hurt. He'd always have that pained and worried expression that washed over his tiny face, always ready to throw himself at me to try and bring me comfort with his hugs and worries and tears."

Meetra felt her ire at Gardulla rise again, but quashed it immediately. "Yes, he'll always be aware of it in some way. Whether it's a feeling, visions, or a dream, he'll know. It..."

She hesitated. "It also concerns me almost as much as my bond with him does."

"Why?" asked Shmi, confused.

"Because of what might happen if such a bond broke," admitted Meetra, "You've been his whole world for most of his life. Perhaps had he spent years away with the Jedi it would have weakened over time. But, if the bond broke anytime soon, if you died, it would probably, if not kill him, then damage and destabilize him badly."

Shmi's face had paled considerably. "O...oh..."

"I don't wont to worry you, just make you aware. I don't plan on letting you come to harm, but, do you know any self-defense?" asked Meetra, "Having you being able to defend yourself would be a good idea I think."

Shmi shook her head, her shoulder's slumping. "No, I don't know how to fight."

"Perhaps some Echani then," mused Meetra.

"Echani?" asked Shmi.

"Well, martial arts," corrected Meetra, "I had a brief exposure to the Echani's fighting style, sparred with a few of them once. Highly skilled, I think once we put some meat and muscle on your bones your body would be good for it. But that'll be later."

At the sound of a growl from Shmi's stomach Meetra laughed. "Speaking of food."

Shmi bowed her head, embarrassed. "Ah... yes. Perhaps I should help the boys along."

Meetra nodded. "Alright, I'll go launch the ship and set a course for our next destination. I'll meet you all in the center room after."

She walked slowly to the cockpit, trying to buy herself as much time as she could to figure out how she was going to explain things to Anakin. She never had a 'true' Padawan before. She had taught her companions, taught Atton, Mical, Visas, Bao-Dur, and Mira, but this... this was different. All of them were fully grown people, capable of taking care of themselves if need be. Their training wasn't indepth, more along the lines of how to use the Force to fight and survive. More on abilities rather than the philosophical. They were her disciples.

Anakin was going to be a true apprentice, one she was going to spend years training. Someone she was going to pass on all of her knowledge and experiences to. She cradled his life in her hands, she had to protect him, guide him, teach him, show him how to be a Jedi.

Or well...

Her kind of Jedi anyway. Regardless of her status as an exile, she had never been a normal Jedi, or even a normal padawan back during her youth, by any means. She bonded to easily, connected and attached with childish ease. From what she had seen and heard thus far, mainly from her and Anakin's experiences with the current council, the Jedi of this age had an even worse opinion of attachment than her own had.

It wasn't to say attachment couldn't be bad. The Jedi had many experiences, many falls to darkness, that proved the danger. It was, in her opinion, the refusal to let go that was the real problem. When attachment turned into obsession, that was where things went bad. That didn't mean she agreed with cutting attachments off completely. She remembered when Revan saw the holo of Bastilla and his child. The sensation that had emanated from him, that smile, that peace, contentedness, happiness...

A soft smile graced her face. That was what it should be.

Her smile faded. Oh Revan... he had no idea what he was going to wake up to. A world thousands of years in the future, his wife and child long dead...

She sighed, sat down in the cockpit, and flicked on the com. "Ebon Hawk to Mos Espa Space Port, requesting permission for liftoff."

She waited patiently until a voice crackled through, "Ebon Hawk you are cleared for takeoff."

She wasted little time in rocketing out of the spaceport and Tatooine's atmosphere. She considered her next destination briefly before deciding she ought to see about getting the slave chips removed from Anakin, Shmi, and Kitster. She set a course for Naboo, figuring they'd be happy to help them out. Might even be able to get it done quickly there.

She left the cockpit and made for the center room, a hint of something spicy tickling her nose, and found the three of them setting the table. "Something smells good."

"Yep!" said Anakin, holding up green and red vegetable stained hands, "Me and Kitster loaded it with awesome stuff when mom left us to cook!"

So basically whatever they found in the kitchen. Oh boy... she was reversing her opinion on the good smell.

"Anakin, Kitster, go wash your hands," scolded Shmi.

The boys shared a grin and dashed off into the kitchen, leaving an amused Shmi shaking her head, the woman turned to Meetra, hesitation on her face and her earlier spine suddenly gone. "I um... hope it's to your liking madam Jedi."

"Just Meetra is fine," answered Meetra, "And don't worry about it, I've lived off military rations before, I'm certain whatever they've cooked up will be fine."

Of course, the moment they were all seated at the table, Meetra took one look at the mess of vegetables and meat loaded with spices and knew she was going to regret this when she was in the fresher later. She took one bite and started coughing. She wasn't the only one.

"Anakin," said Meetra between coughs, "That's a lot of spices."

Anakin blanched a bit after swallowing the first bite. "Oh, yeah."

Meetra noted an odd tension in Shmi, and a little in Kitster. They looked at her with slightly masked fear, as if... oh... she understood. If they were back at Tatooine, their Master probably would have exploded at them in a rage over this. She would hope they wouldn't associate that kind of behavior with her. Then again, they probably knew very little about Jedi outside of Outer Rim stories, especially in regards to sitting down and eating with one. Not that she was typical anyway. Ah well, they'd get used to her overtime. Well... if they chose to stay anyway.

She used a fork and began to scrape some of the spices off the food. "Little less next time, they should be used in smaller amounts."

"'Kay," said Anakin, following suit and digging back in.

Shmi and Kitster relaxed a little and did the same.

"So, we're heading to Naboo," said Meetra.

Anakin perked up. "Back to Naboo?"

Meetra nodded.

Anakin turned to his Mother, a huge smile on his face. "Naboo is awesome mom! It's... it's so green! And there's so much water!"

Shmi blinked a few times. "Truly?"

Anakin nodded. "Yep!"

"You're pullin our legs!" said Kitster, reaching over to poke him.

Anakin scowled playfully. "Am not! Ask Meetra."

"He's right," said Meetra, "Have either of you ever been off Tatooine before?"

Kitster shrugged, growing a little bitter. "I was born in space, my dad was some pirate sleemo who never came back for me and mom after we got captured and sold. Haven't seen anything else since I was little."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Meetra softly.

Kitster shrugged and focused on his food.

Meetra glanced at Shmi, who seemed to grow uncomfortable. "I was born elsewhere, but... well... it's... been a long time since I've seen anything but sand."

Meetra nodded at the vague answer, but didn't press. If the woman didn't want to share her past, that was fine. It was her decision, and probably a rough topic.

"Well, Naboo will certainly be a new experience then. It's a beautiful world. I plan to stop there so we can get all of your slave transmitters removed," explained Meetra, "Afterwords, you can decide if you wish to settle and start a new life there or stay onboard as part of the Ebon Hawk's crew."

Kitster blinked a few times. "We... get a choice?"

Meetra tried to hold back her pity, but she was pretty sure both it and a bit of sadness leaked through. "Of course you do."

Did they really think, even after being freed, they wouldn't?

"C'mon Kitster, she's a Jedi, like in the stories, she ain't going to be like that," scolded Anakin, "Meetra's awesome! She beat a bad Jedi all by herself too!"

Shmi seemed taken aback. "Bad Jedi...?"

"Sith," murmured Meetra, and sighed when Shmi and Kitster both gave her blank looks, "I imagine in this day and age, the Sith aren't widely known about. I'll explain it later when we begin discussing the Force. Finish up eating, clean up, and we'll begin."

Ten minutes later, with the table cleared, dishes cleaned and put away, they regathered. Meetra sat on the couch, Shmi on the other end with Anakin in her lap, and Kitster at the table. Meetra stared at the center holoprojector silently for a few minutes, contemplating how and where to begin. It had been... well... years since she had last really delved into philosophy and history, not since her days as an initiate and padawan, she wasn't honestly sure how much she remembered. Should she start on the history of the Jedi, or knowledge about the Force? That in itself brought up another question: Just how badly out of date was she? How much had changed in the last four-thousand years? At first glance, it didn't seem like much, but she knew better than to make such an assumption. She needed some down time, maybe after she started Anakin on basic katas, to start reading up on what she had missed.

Well... she supposed it would be a learning experience for both her and Anakin then, they'd learn as they went to add onto what Meetra knew. "The Force is... well... life itself. It is something that encompasses everything. All sentient life, whether they be human, Twi'Lek, Togruta, Wookie, or other bear the Force. Even beyond those with higher thoughts, Animals, plants, water, even the planets themselves contain threads of the Force within them."

"What about droids?" asked Anakin.

"Hmm. Where is our little friend?" said Meetra, "R2?"

There was a beep from the corner of the room, she turned her head and spotted the droid watching quietly from a distance. "Come on over."

The Astromech gave another beep and whir before rolling over, when he bumped softly into the couch she gave him a smile and placed a hand on his dome. "Tell me Anakin, what do you feel?"

Anakin scooted a little off his mother's lap and reached a hand over, placing it next to Meetra's and closed his eyes. "I... there's a little spark of... something."

Meetra nodded. "What your feeling right now is his power source. Compared to sentients, it can be difficult to lock onto and sense a droid unless you are intently focusing, it can be damn near impossible in a crowd. However there is another way you can detect a droid. Tell me, compare him to Kitster, what do you feel?"

Anakin grew uncertain. "Umm... just the little spark in R2, and Kitster being well... Kitster."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" asked Kitster.

Anakin hummed as a response, but didn't answer directly.

Meetra gave a soft smile and then explained, "Instead of feeling for the Force, try to feel the lack of it."

Anakin gave her a blank look. "Huh?"

"I want you to think about it. Do you have a tendency to avoid running or bumping into things? Even when your not focusing?" she asked.

Anakin looked confused, but Shmi nodded. "I've seen him walk around tables or parts in Watto's shop while working on a droid without really paying attention."

"You instinctively feel what's missing in these objects," explained Meetra, "The lack of the Force, the lack of the wind passing through it, or simply pressing your senses against it, you can realize that there is something there by any of these things."

Anakin gave her a skeptical look. "Wait, you can feel the wind in the Force?"

Meetra nodded. "For the same reason you can feel water, both have microscopic organisms living in their currents, carried high above, or down below. It's a small thing, and something you usually only sense for subconsciously, but if you focus, you can still feel it."

Anakin closed his eyes for a moment, and then a minute, before a frustrated look crossed his face. "I'm not sure how..."

"It's alright, it'll come in time," said Meetra.

Anakin pouted and huffed, before grumbling. "I wanna learn it now, I did the thing on Nar Shadaa pretty good..."

"Anakin," admonished Shmi gently, "Small steps. Like machinery, you have to understand each piece and fiddle with it before you can use it."

Anakin fidgeted a little before whispering sullenly. "Yeah... I guess."

"It's not a bad analogy," said Meetra, shooting Shmi and appreciative smile, "Because, there are many pieces and parts of the Force, depending on which view of it you choose to have. The Jedi generally view the Force in four parts. The Force itself, sometimes referred to as the 'Light Side of the Force'. The Dark Side of the Force. The Living Force, and the Unifying Force."

"That's a lot of forces," said Kitster, a cheeky grin spreading across his face.

Meetra turned her head to raise an eyebrow at the boy, which only made him giggle.

"I get light and dark, it's good and evil," said Anakin, "But what are the Living and Unifying Force?"

Meetra frowned briefly. "Light and Dark aren't as simple as good and evil Anakin, it comes in shades of neutral gray as well."

Anakin looked at her, baffled. "Huh?"

"You can use both Light and Dark to do both good and evil," she said softly, "Force knows the Jedi were guilty of it in my time."

"Your time?" questioned Shmi.

Meetra paused briefly and sighed. "I'll explain that later, I want to focus on the lesson for the moment."

"How could Jedi do bad things with the Force?" asked Anakin skeptically, "I mean, on Coruscant they weren't what I expected, with the stories I heard growing up, but they're not bad people."

"Using the Force against people without their consent is generally a misuse of the Force," said Meetra, "Back in my day, Jedi using mind tricks, reading someones thoughts, anything that invades the privacy or controls the actions of innocent people is gray or bad in my opinion. Sometimes it can't be avoided, but relying on that kind of thing to often was something I frowned upon."

She frowned. "In addition, while it's not so much as a 'bad' thing, but, having the power to act, to protect, to help people, and doing nothing, might as well be."

That lit a gleam in Anakin's eye. "Yeah, what's the good of having laser swords and super powers and doing nothing with it?"

Meetra snorted. "It's a bit more than just swords and Force Powers, Anakin. Jedi should try to prevent conflict and resolve it peacefully when we can. Words can be just as powerful as a lightsaber, if not more in certain situations. Sometimes fighting is the wrong path, othertimes thought, if the situation demands it, you shouldn't be afraid to fight."

If the council had just acted back in her time... if they had agreed to aid the Republic earlier... so much death could have been prevented in the Mandalorian Wars. Not to mention, who knows if Revan would have even had a chance to fall if the entire Order had come with him instead of ostracizing him and his followers. And speaking of the Council...

Meetra's eyes narrowed, her face and lips tightened, and her fists clenched. "And stripping someone of the Force, or even trying to, is an unforgivable sin."

Shmi and Kitster reflexively inched away from Meetra at the venom in her voice; Anakin however merely crawled along the couch, shifting from his Mother's lap into hers. "Did... they try to do that to you?"

"Kind of gave it away I suppose, didn't I?" mused Meetra, a sigh escaping her lips.

Anakin nodded, but said nothing, looking up at her.

"The Council in my time did try that, but they failed, a... a friend, my mentor, saved me," said Meetra with a bit of a shake to her voice.

"So that's why you don't like this council?" said Anakin, "Why you still want to be an Exile?"

Meetra hesitated. "Somewhat, to be honest, I enjoy the freedom such a status brings. I answer to myself, no one else."

"Wait, exile?" said Shmi, confused, "I don't wish to offend, but, why is my son being trained by an 'Jedi exile'?"

"Because he was to old," said Meetra, "They didn't want to take him into the Order. Only Qui-Gon and I championed his cause."

Shmi looked even more lost. "What does his age have to do with anything?"

"Jedi generally start their training very young," explained Meetra, "They are taught to not have attachments among other things."

"Attachments?" said Shmi, baffled.

"You," admitted Meetra bluntly.

Shmi looked affronted. "Excuse me? How is caring for me, his mother, something to be denied about?"

"They said it was because I was to afraid for you, among other things," said Anakin quietly, "I have to much fear."

Meetra rested her chin on the top of his head. "It's no crime to be afraid, so long as you do not let that fear rule you."

Shmi didn't look like she understood, but she remained silent, her lips pressed together tightly in irritation, frustration, and anger on her son's behalf.

"I believe we went a little offtopic," said Meetra, deciding to divert back to the lesson, "You were asking about the Living and Unifying Force."

Anakin nodded. "Yep."

"The Living Force deals with the energy of living things all around us," explained Meetra, "How we are connected and intertwined within the Force. It's about living within the moment, the here and now. Those who are more attuned with the Living Force are more aware and focused of the events going on around them, though sometimes this comes at the expense of being mindful about the future and the impact one's actions can have down the road. They can be taken off-guard by the repercussions or consequences of things they were doing that they thought were right or important at the time."

"The Unifying Force on the other hand focuses on space and time, the past and the future," explained Meetra, "It is the more philosophical of the two, dwelling on the what may be and the what has come to pass. Those who are more attuned with the Unifying Force are more aware of the effect of their actions on the future, but tend to lose focus on the present, on the what is happening here and now, and can be taken offguard by unexpected happenings that those of the Living Force would have seen coming. Force Visions tend to be important to those that hold the Unifying force in high regard."

Anakin absorbed the information, eyes furrowed, a thoughtful, if but confused look on his face. "So... which one's better?"

Shmi, to Meetra's surprise, beat her to answering. "Neither if I understand correctly. Both seem important, and ignoring one over the other seems unwise."

Meetra gave her an appreciative smile. "Agreed, though, maintaining a balance between both is... difficult. I've followed both paths at times, leaning more towards the Living Force."

Charging off into the Mandalorian Wars at Revan's side certainly agreed with that.

"So... am I more 'unifyey'? asked Anakin, "With my dreams? The visions?"

"Actually Anakin," said Meetra, trying to suppress a laugh at his terminology, "Your visions are the only thing you have in common with the Unifying Force. You are a boy who lives in the moment to the extreme from what I've seen and heard thus far."

Anakin fidgeted in her lap. "I do?"

"Well lets see," said Meetra, holding up a hand to count fingers, "One, you told me about the Boonta Eve Podrace that you volunteered to help complete strangers with without a second thought."

Anakin blushed. "Y-yeah well..."

"Don't forget about Sabulba!" said Kitster, "That outlander guy you were with would have been bantha poodoo if you hadn't jumped in. I thought he was gonna paste you!"

Anakin gawked. "You saw that?"

Kitster just grinned. "Word spread pretty quick that you stood up to Sabulba like that."

"Okay, well that's two," said Meetra before lifting a third finger, "The next seems to happen a bit, but, you trust people based on your gut instinct and initial encounters."

Her voice grew soft. "You didn't know a thing about me, yet, when I was lost about coming to this time, you brought me a cup of caffeine and kept me company."

Anakin blushed a bit before deflecting, "Well, mom always taught me to be nice."

Shmi chuckled softly, staring warmly at her child. "He's a good child, my little Ani."

Anakin turned beat red. "Moooom!"

Meetra laughed and then held up a fourth finger. "And on Naboo..."

Anakin panicked, head going back and forth between Meetra and Shmi. "W-wait a sec Meetra!"

"He hid in a starfighter, went up into a space-battle, and blew up the droid control ship," said Meetra.

Anakin tried to shrink into Meetra as Shmi blinked once, blinked twice, and then leveled a slightly panicked and severe look on the boy. "Anakin Skywalker, you did what?"

"That's wizard Ani!" said Kitster with glee.

"In his defense, he saved the entire planet by blowing up the control ship," said Meetra, "Three Jedi or not, we wouldn't have been able to take on an entire droid army."

Shmi put her head in her hands and took in a shuddered breath, and let it out. "If I ever meet Qui-Gon Jinn again, we will have words. I expected my son to be safe, not put in danger!"

Anakin scrambled out of Meetra's lap and over to his Mother, giving her a hug. "I'm sorry mom, I didn't want to worry you, I'm okay, everything turned out okay."

Shmi sighed heavily and hugged him back. "I knew you were meant to go with the Jedi, meant to help them, to do great things, but... the danger you'll be in while doing it..."

"I'll keep him as safe as I possibly can," said Meetra softly.

Shmi nodded. "I know you will. Now, can... can you explain what happened earlier? The Dark Side of the Force you mentioned?"

Meetra frowned briefly before starting, "First though, we should start with what the Jedi use, the Force, or the 'Light Side' if you will. It focuses on compassion and mercy, honesty and integrity, protection and self-sacrifice. Positive things or emotions like that. Except well... the emotional part for the Jedi."

"Why?" asked Anakin, "Why isn't love, happiness, or joy seen as light? There's no way it isn't."

"It's because of the history of the Jedi," explained Meetra, "It's left them rather jaded. Emotions are seen as something to be acknowledged and then released into the Force, to dangerous to maintain."

"That doesn't answer the question," pointed out Kitster.

Meetra rolled her eyes. "I was getting to it. Emotions are... different for Force Sensitives. They can directly effect our power or control. And unfortunately, good emotions can turn into bad ones. Love for example can attract fear for a loved one or develop into an obsession over them. Both are can be gateways into the Dark Side if left to fester or become uncontrolled. When a Jedi goes dark... it can be a truly, terrible and terrifying thing."

Her thoughts briefly turned to Revan. "On more than one occasion, a single Jedi who fell to the Dark Side has drastically changed the course of the entire galaxy. Caused massive galaxy spanning wars, or committed acts so vile and destructive that the aftereffects would be felt for generations to come."

Anakin looked at her in disbelief. "Just one person can do all of that?"

Meetra grew quiet for a moment. "Anakin. I do not say this lightly, so listen carefully. The Dark Side of the Force is dangerous, it is a pathway to incredible, but dangerous, power. You saw some of my memories when we bonded, correct? Do you remember Darth Nihilus? The man with the white mask?"

Anakin paled a little. "Y-yes..."

"He completely wiped out an entire planet with the Force, consumed all life on it in an instant, everything died," said Meetra quietly.

Save for Visas, but, that went against the point she was trying to make.

Kitster stared at her in disbelief, Shmi had a look of utter sickness on her face, and the utter horror on Anakin's face was something Meetra darkly mused she might have nightmares about.

"That's... that's the Dark Side?" asked Anakin fearfully, "That's what I felt from you when you were angry at Gardulla?"

"It's the first time you've felt it," she commented, "Not with your senses, but inside of you."

"Y-yes," said Anakin.

"The Dark Side of the Force is...," she trailed off for a moment, thinking.

"It's evil, it's what the bad guys use?" asked Anakin quietly.

Meetra frowned, thinking of Kreia. "I told you earlier, yes and no. All who are Sith use the Dark Side to my knowledge, but not all who use it are evil."

Anakin gave her a baffled look.

How did she explain the Dark Side properly to a nine-year-old-boy? She could admit she was terrified she'd either screw this up and send him into darkness, or screw it up and make him fear it like the Jedi did. The Dark Side was dangerous, and could consume it's users, usually did, but it wasn't the end-all thing the Jedi made it out to be. People could walk away from it, there had been people who had done so.

Revan had come back from it, albeit memory loss might have had a heavy influence on that, he did however choose to remain light after figuring out who he was. Ulic Qel-Droma had come back, well, after he had the Force severed from him. Meetra smiled smugly at the though of Atris coming back after getting her ass handed to her. She was sure there had been many cases in the far past, and even in the four-thousand years she had 'vaulted' over. Though sheer strength of will, or so long as there was someone to help light the way, those who had fallen could return. Though coming back from being a Sith was far rarer than Dark Jedi or those who had only taken their first steps.

On the other hand, ignoring the 'fallen' aspect completely. Kreia had shown her, told her, it was merely another perspective. One that could be adopted and thrown away if needed, depending on what the situation required. Kreia had done it herself easily enough, being neutral and then adopting her old Sith mantle to fulfill a purpose. Though, that purpose pained Meetra, and would continue to do so until the day she died. She could admit however, she had no clue how Kreia could so easily toss aside or re-adopt her darkness like that, because Kreia had not felt dark at all, just gray, until she became Treya again.

She had heard of various sects that preached one thing or the other, or even a balance between them. The ancient precursor to the Jedi Order, the Je'daii, was a group said to have maintained a balance, at least until the Force Wars tore them apart. Unfortunately, she didn't know how they managed that feat of balance. The archives in the Dantooine conclave weren't very detailed in that regard, considered it all heresy or hearsay,

All in all, explaining this was going to be a mess.

"It's a temptation," she decided to say at last, leaning more on the safe side, "It's an offering of power at a cost, a price."

"A price?" asked Anakin.

"Anakin, the Dark Side can change you, deeply," said Meetra, "In the heat of the moment, fueled by its power, you can do things you would normally never do. Murder, betrayal, harming people you cared for, breaking your own morals. Sith are seen as cruel because they lose the ability to care about anyone but themselves or a select few people they obsess over."

Anakin looked mortified. "It takes away your ability to care about people?!"

"It depends," said Meetra, "First on the person, and then on the purpose."

"I don't... understand," said Anakin quietly.

Meetra closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. "Anger, hate, fear, jealousy. Negative raw emotions empower and fuel the Dark Side of the Force. How one uses these emotions determine how and why one takes their first steps into the Dark Side. I believe Qui-Gon said that your focus determines your reality."

"So if I get really angry at all I...," began Anakin fearfully.

"No no, Force no Anakin!" said Meetra, knowing where he was going, "Just feeling those emotions isn't going to throw you down the dark path. Even acting on them isn't a condemnation. It's giving into them, letting those emotions rule your life, that sends you down that path."

She sighed. "I'll admit, I'm not sure I'm doing a good explaining this. I've never had a Padawan learner before. I think I'm scaring you more than warning or instructing you."

Anakin gave a small, weak smile, but didn't answer.

Meetra got up off the couch and walked over to kneel infront of him. "Anakin, someone like Nihilus, or Sion if you saw any memories of him, are people who completely plunge unrestricted into darkness. Dabbling here or there or giving into anger once isn't going to damn you to such a fate. Becoming like them is a conscious choice, to give themselves so deeply into the Dark Side that it warps them like that."

"Just don't let the darkness rule you," she said softly, "Anger, hate, and fear ARE path's to the Dark Side, but only if you let them be."

There was a quiet nod from him, but no other response. Meetra could feel his anxiety and nervousness, his fear, radiating down the bond. This was more than enough for today's lesson. Force, she had terrified the boy by telling him about what Nihilus had done. Why had she thought that was a good idea?

"Why don't you and Kitster see if there's any dessert in the kitchen?" suggested Meetra, "I think we're done for now."

Anakin moved away without a word, Kitster following into the kitchen.

Meetra sighed and sat down on the floor against the couch. "Force I feel like a failure after that."

"Your trying," said Shmi softly, but tensely, "Anakin... he feels so readily, and so deeply, that he has to be made to understand if half of what you said about this 'Dark Side' is true."

"To my knowledge," said Meetra bleakly, "It's all true."

Shmi was silent for a moment. "An entire planet wiped out? When and where? Even as a slave, even on Tatooine, we would have heard of that."

"Katarr, four thousand years ago," said Meetra quietly.

Shmi went silent again for a minute this time before speaking, "You are implying you're from the past."

"I am," said Meetra, turning her head to stare into Shmi's eyes.

The woman met and held them for a time, until the two boys returned with a bunch of pasteries that they set on plates on the table. They watched the two woman have a stare-down uneasily.

Finally, Shmi relented with a sigh. "The Jedi wouldn't have let you go with Anakin if you were insane. You are serious about when you are from?"

Meetra nodded again. "The Force is a gateway to power and abilities beyond most people's comprehension."

Shmi rubbed her face tiredly. "I suppose it is."

"Come, lets have dessert and then get ready for bed," suggested Meetra, "You three ought to be rested before we get to Naboo and get your transmitter's removed."

With that, the group moved away from discussions of the Force, into sweetness of treats, and then into the comfort of slumber...


Author's Notes:

Thanks for all the feedback ya'll to last chapter's question. Revan will remain in the story, and will probably wake up a bit earlier than I initially intended when I first came up with this fic idea. Not just because of the feedback, but because it made me think and realize I forgot something:

Muscle Entropy. Revan's going to still be in a coma for years, it's going to weaken him, he's going to need to recover and regain his strength before the Clone Wars start. Not to mention certain character interactions that need time to happen as well.

Not to mention, I came up with an idea about Meetra that's going to need time to happen as well. I want to spoil it, but at the same time I don't. So I'll give you all a hint:

Meetra cut herself off from the Force, became a wound in it, and echoes/reflected the losses of Malachor, because she could not take the backlash and death that she caused by using the Shadow Mass Generators. So think on it, what would it actually mean for Meetra to be healed, to no longer be a Wound in the Force, and be able to truly and properly feel again? There are positives, and extreme negatives about this if it happens...

Which I think may or may not happen when Anakin hits 13 or so... (maybe 14-15? idk yet)