9. The mess I made
BSO for this chapter:
The mess I made – Parachute
Dear Diary,
Stefan left the day before yesterday and since then I haven't had any news. I know he's alright because if something wrong had happened to him I would know it. But what is most weird is that I don't want him to come back yet. I don't know why, but lately my feelings are starting to be contradictory.
Damon's doing much better, he has even prepared lunch! I suppose the blood is helping him. Yesterday he was so sweet. He could have tried to do something more but instead he didn't. I know all this sounds very weird. Damon likes to be a jerk but at the same time this makes him so lovable... He didn't even ask for my blood but I guess he's running short of it and I wouldn't say no if he asked for mine...
Right now I feel somehow like Katherine, torn between the two brothers. The difference is that I haven't anything with Damon... yet, that I've always made it clear that I'm with Stefan... I think. But right now I don't know what I want anymore. I don't want to be Katherine, but I don't want to choose right now either.
Elena got in Damon's room. He had a funny look and Elena noticed it.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing." He shook his head and smiled. "I just got a call from the sheriff. They want me to go this afternoon to a meeting of the council."
"Will you be recovered?" she asked him and sat next to him. He took off his shirt so that she could see his wounds. She stared at his naked chest, why was he so terribly beautiful and irresistible?
"Sure. I'm already alright." It wasn't totally true but he wouldn't accept that he wasn't totally okay. There was a brief moment of silence.
"I've always wanted to ask you something." He looked at her. "Who were you before Katherine broke your heart?"
Damon laughed as he stared into Elena's eyes, she felt startled by the beauty in them. There was no pain, though, as she expected to find.
"This is who I am now." He simply answered but there was no mockery in his voice only resignation and acceptance and also probably some pride.
"I know." Elena whispered unable to speak louder. He was so close to her right now that it was even hard to breathe.
"Do you have news from Stefan?" She couldn't believe that he was talking about Stefan right now and she really felt hurt that he did. She shook her head and he caressed her cheek. He got closer but right now the thought of Stefan was too present on her mind. She was staring at those lips, perhaps and thought she wouldn't be able to resist them. But she got away in the last moment. She felt tears coming to her eyes as she turned away, she wasn't able to look at him, she couldn't let him see her cry. Her tears were of guilt because if he hadn't mentioned Stefan she would have kissed him, of rage because he had talked about something he shouldn't have and of regret that she hadn't kissed him. She breathed slowly and got out of the room, expecting him to go after her. But he didn't.
