Culinary Issues and Festive Excitements

Madam Pomfrey had elf-called Hilda that weekend.

Days have passed since the Choosing of Champions.

Being barred from the Kitchens, Hilda took to staying at the Firing Range.

'Hilda, I've begun to check on the students who graduated this year as well as those currently staying...I'm amazed.' said Madam Pomfrey. 'I've never seen such health levels ever since I took this job in Hogwarts.' she said, glancing happily at her records. 'So this is the fruit of your research?'

'Of course.' said Hilda. 'The food in this school is appalling and disgusting. Too oily, greasy and fatty as well as too much condiment flavorings it overwhelmed the natural taste of food when condiments are supposed to 'flatter', not 'smother' food. I'm surprised students here aren't obese nor any adult here having High-Blood Pressure or worse, Diabetes. Maybe its because we're magic we're spared that fate.' she snorted. 'Students, particularly girls who are watching their weight to keep looking good eat so little that in turn, they slit their own throats thru malnutrition. As in, 'I have to diet, nobody will like to date a fat girl' just as boys would think 'no girl would like a pudgy guy'. Its all instinctual in our heads.'

'And given where I came from, I pored over nutrition books in the Muggle World, and I experimented in the kitchens in my first year, and created my healthy dishes and taught them to the House Elves.' Hilda taught her. 'Poor guys, made to create subpar dishes that leads eaters one step closer to the grave...well, they have had incompetent teachers who taught them those vile things. And much of the school food budget ended up going to condiments more than actual food itself and I asked you to spike the drinks with Nutritional Potions to make up for it all, that every time we eat, we heal from malnutrition and cleaning our insides of too much oil and what else clogging our organs.'

'Well, I can see how much better off we are now...I felt much stronger and more energetic since.' said Madam Pomfrey happily. 'And when I showed these results to St. Mungo's, they asked you for help as well.'

'My services ain't cheap.' said Hilda. 'Moreover have they even gotten Sirius' permission for me to work in their kitchens?'

'Well, he sent me a letter with the Black Family stamp...' Madam Pomfrey gave Hilda the letter.

Pup,

I got wind last night that Madam Pomfrey assessed the
health of students in school since you took over the kitchens
and I must say, where the heck were you in our era? I wanna
cry!

At least Dolly and Biffy knows your dishes so me and Moony
can catch up somehow, but daaaamn...Poppy's singing praises
about your work as she has never seen such health levels...
bloody hell pup! Then again when I saw the brats, I made a
comparison. In my era to your era...even an idiot can tell.

I've given my permission to let you work in St. Mungo's
Kitchens to vamp up their menu.

Padfoot

'Well, that's permission enough...I'm charging St. Mungo's 5000 Galleons.'

'HUH?! That's more than what the Tri-Wizard Champions would get!'

'If you ask me that's way too cheap for their lives, the Ministries should have made the prize 10000 Galleons at minimum for the Champion to pay much of that to the nearest hospital.' said Hilda flatly. 'How soon do I leave?'

xxx

The new food in Hogwarts indeed, has an effect on the students ever since after Christmas Break in Hilda's First Year.

Its deliciousness they never had before, without it being 'too flavored'. They could actually eat it!

Predicting the want and need for seconds, the Elves always make a lot. Combine it with medicinally-spiked drinks at night, they heal every day from Malnutrition. And giving the body much-needed nutrition to develop properly.

The Yin Diet for five years, and Yang Diet for the remaining two.

Understandably, with magic at play, it affected growth and looks via hormones while still healing the body. Girls grew into their looks while boys were also gaining effeminate looks on their faces. Boys who actually have the assets gained 'pretty boy' looks while girls grew to maidenhood in looks and shape. Not only that, with Oily Fish and sources of Omega3s in food, it did wonders as well to one's mental health. So grades improved and when guys beefed up for masculinity...

But the most affected, was Hilda's yearmates because they started young.

Developments varied depending on one's potential in genetics that puberty happened in third year that parents had to give their kids the talk at home.

However, after Hogwarts, the kids could only choke at 'homecooking', having gotten used to delicious Hogwarts' food. The muggleborns fared better as their mothers never 'overflavor food' at home. This caused quite the problems at home that wizarding children cannot stand food at home, preferring Hogwarts Food.

That gave Dumbledore quite the trouble actually, when parents marched to the school wanting to know why their children cannot stand food all of a sudden.

He doesn't know what was wrong, other than Hilda teaching the Elves new food.

So they went to Hogwarts Kitchens to make the elves talk, that they got the rationale behind the food issues and why their kids could no longer stand food that wasn't Hogwarts Cooking.

Indeed, even a simple soup was mind-blowing delicious.

'We've been enjoying food ever since Hilda began cooking and taught the House Elves...that girl is a genius in this field.' said McGonagall. 'Her Full Course Meal is worth 17 Galleons in the Muggle World as wealthy muggles willingly pay that much in their restaurants. Their cooks have the freedom to charge appropriately for their dishes based on presentation on the plates and taste.'

However, Hilda couldn't be found that easily during the Summer. The only reason they found her, was when Sirius Black escaped Azkaban for justice and she was friends with the Weasley Twins, and she was living in a gorgeous apartment near a Police Station.

They were able to talk to her in how can they make their kids eat at home that the problem, was actually so simple! So Hilda had to teach housewives...and family elves how to cook REAL British Food without the smothering of too much condiments. But she never did any sausage-related dishes, due to simply disliking it.

Bedfordshire Clanger. Cobbler. Beef Wellington. The pies of Britain, Faggots, English Breakfast, Eel Kabayaki(Hilda despised Jellied Eels), Lancashire Hotpot, Liver, Bacon and Onion, types of Pasties, Types of Puddings, Roasted British Dishes, Panackelty, Scouse, and types of breads and cakes, as well as how to make sauces.

She cooked all these dishes without condiments and 'how it was NORMALLY COOKED' without making it oily and greasy that the women and elves can taste the glaring difference. That they can actually taste food itself and other ingredients and it no longer has the 'heaviness' they've known for years.

'Your kids despise too much flavorings, and now favor the natural flavors of food.' said Hilda. 'As kids, our tongues are very sensitive but in time, can be weaned as well.' she told them. 'Remember, condiments only flatter like how we women wear perfume. We do NOT smother food with too much condiments! Now, your test at home, is how to make these dishes your own. You are to figure out your family tastes without the smothering effects, and your kids will eat at home again. Figure out the favorable formula of condiment application at home. Its a trial-and-error stuff but you know you hit the jackpot if your kids like it.'

And now the problem was the Food Establishments of British Magical Alleys who lost customers, unable to bear their food all of a sudden, so Hilda has to deal with them too.

Her summer prior to Third Year, had been very busy.

She taught the Leaky Cauldron Bar Fare, and improved other restaurants(and their prices) as well she ended up Stagiaring all over the place except for Knockturn Alley where her invisible bodyguards forbade her from going into as it was a dangerous place.

So British Food Quality improved by leaps.

The sole problem left, was the Ministry Cafeteria itself! The Ministry Employees whined at Fudge that most of them can't go out to eat due to their workloads and when they DO have time, everywhere was jam-packed! And the Cafeteria Employees also complained nobody goes there anymore, so Aurors had to take an exasperated Hilda to fix the Ministry Cafeteria too...and the Auror Academy Cafeteria for that matter.

After tackling budget issues for what to buy for the cafeteria and plan menus for optimal nutrition, the Ministry can finally enjoy good food...after the Cafeteria is very protected against spiking attempts on food and detecting harmful substances that enter the cafeteria and kitchens on which, Bodyguard Elves that only answer to the DMLE Director will find and subdue the person painfully, and take them to the Aurors. That way, employees can safely eat and drink.

Well, a final issue cropped up that was no longer Hilda's problem.

Overspending on food because food now became synonymous with pleasure in Magical Britain.

xxx

After dealing with St. Mungo's for a week, was the first round of the Tournament.

Champions against...Dragons!

"I'm glad I'm not in there!" Hilda gulped nervously. She was glad for her paranoia now!

The champions somehow got off with minimal injury but that's 7th Years for you, she supposed.

After the show was over, the event was the talk of the whole school...while she was upstairs as usual.

The start of December brought wind and sleet to Hogwarts. Drafty though the castle always was in winter. Hilda was glad of its fires and thick walls every time he passed the Durmstrang ship on the lake, which was pitching in the high winds, its black sails billowing against the dark skies. She thought the Beauxbatons caravan was likely to be pretty chilly too. Hagrid, she noticed, was keeping Madame Maxime's horses well provided with their preferred drink of single-malt whiskey; the fumes wafting from the trough in the comer of their paddock was enough to make the entire Care of Magical Creatures class light-headed. This was unhelpful, as they were still tending the horrible skrewts and needed their wits about them.

'I'm not sure whether they hibernate or not,' Hagrid told the shivering class in the windy pumpkin patch next lesson. 'Thought we'd jus' try an see if they fancied a kip...we'll jus' settle 'em down in these boxes...'

There were now only ten skrewts left; apparently their desire to kill one another had not been exercised out of them. Each of them was now approaching six feet in length. Their thick gray armor; their powerful, scuttling legs; their fire-blasting ends; their stings and their suckers, combined to make the skrewts the most repulsive things Hilda had ever seen. The class looked dispiritedly at the enormous boxes Hagrid had brought out, all lined with pillows and fluffy blankets.

'We'll jus' lead 'em in here,' Hagrid said, 'An' put the lids on, and we'll see what happens.'

But the skrewts, it transpired, did not hibernate, and did not appreciate being forced into pillow-lined boxes and nailed in. Hagrid was soon yelling, 'Don panic, now, don' panic!' while the skrewts rampaged around the pumpkin patch, now strewn with the smoldering wreckage of the boxes. Most of the class - Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle in the lead - had fled into Hagrid's cabin through the back door and barricaded themselves in; Hilda and some students, however, were among those who remained outside trying to help Hagrid. Together they managed to restrain and tie up nine of the skrewts, though at the cost of numerous burns and cuts; finally, only one skrewt was left.

'Don' frighten him, now!' Hagrid shouted as Ron and Hilda used their wands to shoot jets of fiery sparks at the skrewt, which was advancing menacingly on them, its sting arched, quivering, over its back. 'Jus' try an slip the rope 'round his sting, so he won hurt any o' the others!'

'Yeah, we wouldn't want that!' Ron shouted angrily as he and Harry backed into the wall of Hagrid's cabin, still holding the skrewt off with their sparks and an unwanted guest in Skeeter that Hilda signaled to a hidden elf to boot her out of the castle, memory modified.

Sometime later, at the end of Transfiguration...

'I have something to say to you all.' said Professor McGonagall. 'The Yule Ball is approaching - a traditional part of the Triwizard Tournament and an opportunity for us to socialize with our foreign guests. Now, the ball will be open only to fourth years and above - although you may invite a younger student if you wish -'

Lavender Brown let out a shrill giggle. Parvati Patil nudged her hard in the ribs, her face working furiously as she too fought not to giggle.

'Dress robes will be worn,' Professor McGonagall continued, '-and the ball will start at eight o'clock on Christmas Day, finishing at midnight in the Great Hall. Now then -'

Professor McGonagall stared deliberately around the class.

'The Yule Ball is of course a chance for us all to - er - let our hair down,' she said, in a disapproving voice.

Lavender giggled harder than ever, with her hand pressed hard against her mouth to stifle the sound. They could see what was funny this time: Professor McGonagall, with her hair in a tight bun, looked as though she had never let her hair down in any sense.

'But that does NOT mean,' Professor McGonagall went on, '-that we will be relaxing the standards of behavior we expect from Hogwarts students. I will be most seriously displeased if a Gryffindor student embarrasses the school in any way.'

The bell rang, and there was the usual scuffle of activity as everyone packed their bags and swung them onto their shoulders.

'Christmas Ball. Huh.'

'You don't sound too enthusiastic, Potter.' said Lavender.

'Well, I'd rather do something else, but Padfoot said I should attend the ball, then go home for holidays the day after when I write my name down soon. I'm not even interested in these sort of things.'

'Jeez, liven up! We're young only once and aren't you looking forward to dancing with those masculine hunks from Durmstrang or those handsome guys from Beauxbatons?'

'Not sure about the hype, though I get enough nagging from McGonagall on how I can't behave like a normal teenage girl and working too hard at my age...'

'Potter, anyone with common sense will berate you.' said Parvati Patil wryly. 'You're wasting your youth, is the problem here!'

So says the masses.

Hilda sighed.

So yeah, she'll very reluctantly attend the dance.

But!

'Fine. But if nobody asks me out, I'll cheerfully go home and continue my precious research!'

'You're impossible!'

xxx

The last week of term became increasingly boisterous as it progressed. Rumors about the Yule Ball were flying everywhere, though Hilda didn't believe half of them - for instance, that Dumbledore had bought eight hundred barrels of mulled mead from Madam Rosmerta. It seemed to be fact, however, that he had asked her what music is befitting to open the ball, before having various musical songs play in the background. She had to carefully choose songs that weren't TOO obvious that they came from video games! At least not much issues with classical music and disney songs...

Hilda was appalled at the standards of so-called music in Britain that to avoid offending anybody, she settled for classical music, and various soundtracks from video games from Japan, getting permission to travel there to make magical gramophone disks.

Some of the teachers, like little Professor Flitwick, gave up trying to teach them much when their minds were so clearly elsewhere; he allowed them to play games in his lesson on Wednesday. Other teachers were not so generous. Nothing would ever deflect Professor Binns, for example, from plowing on through his notes on goblin rebellions - as Binns hadn't let his own death stand in the way of continuing to teach, they supposed a small thing like Christmas wasn't going to put him off. It was amazing how he could make even bloody and vicious goblin riots sound as boring as possible. Professors McGonagall and the REAL Moody kept them working until the very last second of their classes too, and Snape, of course, would no sooner let them play games in class than get in the festive mood. Staring nastily around at them all, he informed them that he would be testing them on poison antidotes during the last lesson of the term.

'Evil, he is,' Ron Weasley can be heard bitterly that night in the Gryffindor common room. 'Springing a test on us on the last day. Ruining the last bit of term with a whole load of studying.'

That December when students are told about the ball, chaos ensued as well.

One word: Puberty.

Boys were quickly aiming for the best-looking girls who stayed for the Yule Ball.

They were thinking with their lower heads.

Between French Beauties and Shapely British Girls, they have little time as boys outnumbered girls.

Because 3rd Year Students are not allowed that the younger years all chose to go home than stick around school for much longer, only those interested in the Yule Ball stayed though some older years chose to go home as well.

Hilda felt she would have had the same freedom, if she wasn't perceived as a workaholic and ahem, 'forced to do teenage stuff' by EVERYBODY. Thus she was obliged to be on the dance floor thus started to be seen in hopes of being asked out on a date by someone.

That was after planning the Yule Ball Decor for the night, and the menus, now that she obtained Molecular Gastronomy Knowledge, thanks to little Alice.

The House Tables were turned into Buffet Tables, and when the student population in Hogwarts is counted, the teachers planned the number of round tables and seat numbers in fancy cloth and seat cover 'dressmaking'.

She eventually got asked out by Viktor Krum of all people when he found her alone.

'Hello. Haff you gotten a date yet?' he asked her politely, but hopefully.

'Not yet.' said Hilda. 'I just started looking for anyone who'd ask me out.'

'Then vood you go out with me?'

'Sure! Let's just hope nobody finds out until the big day...'

'Vhere vill I pick you up at then?'

'Let's meet at where the Champions will come out with their dates...any idea where that is?'