WARNING: This chapter contains graphic and violent scenes, which some readers may find deeply upsetting. Your discretion is strongly advised.

This is ridiculous.

He was Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn, a centuries old immortal and most definitely a grown-up. Why couldn't he bring himself to pick up his telephone and call the person he loved?

Because you have broken his heart and now you must grovel for his forgiveness. Idiot.

Magnus let out a big sigh and sat backwards, sinking into the soft leather of the couch. He desperately needed to talk to Alec, but he wanted to make absolutely sure he knew what he was going to say and he wanted to make sure it was at exactly the right moment. He wasn't going to take any more chances where Alec was concerned. Magnus knew he had a lot of explaining to do; he just hoped that Alec would give him a chance.

Chairman Meow jumped into his lap and dug his claws into Magnus' thigh - his signal for Magnus to pay him as much attention as possible.

"These were expensive pants, kitty. You better not have clawed a hole in them," he told the tabby as he tickled his fingers on the cat's head and behind his ears. His cat had been acting strangely since Alec moved moved out, suddenly requiring a lot more attention than usual. Magnus could only assume that the Chairman was distraught at the loss of the Shadowhunter from his life and missed him like crazy; or that he saw how miserable Magnus was and had been trying, in his own little cat way, to comfort him.
"It's ok, daddy is going to try and get Alec back," he cooed at the cat, who had flopped over and was purring deeply as Magnus massaged his head and neck.

It wasn't as if Magnus hadn't tried to get in touch with Alec, but so far all of the voicemails he had left were about wanting to 'talk'. Over the past few days, and with the input of a particular shape-shifting friend, Magnus had come to realise that he didn't just want to talk to Alec; he wanted him back. He needed to persuade the Shadowhunter to come home.

But what if Alec still didn't want to talk to him? He had left quite a few messages and Alec had not yet got back to him.

Magnus pushed Chairman Meow from his lap and stood up, stretching right up onto his tip-toes and yawning. The cat narrowed his eyes in a glare before stalking off with his tail held upright in annoyance.

His phone began to buzz noisily on he glass coffee table and he went over to pick it up. It wasn't a number he recognised, which usually indicated it was a client or another Warlock needing his help,

"Bane," he answered.

"Ummm... is this Magnus Bane?" a small female voice enquired timidly.

"The one and only," he answered, a little annoyed. He hated it when strangers called his personal number.
"Hi, I got your number from another Warlock you've helped before in the Brooklyn area. I need to talk to you urgently."
"Who gave you my number?" Magnus demanded, more than a little annoyed that someone had taken the liberty of distributing his number willy nilly.

"That doesn't matter - I need to talk to you about Alexander Lightwood."
Magnus jumped. Adrenaline began to course through his body and his heart thumped wildly in his chest. But he knew he had to stay calm. If Alec were in trouble it wasn't a good idea to show how much he cared.

"I'm listening," he told her, trying to make his voice sound measured and clam.

"Alexander Lightwood - the Nephilim with the black hair, blue eyes and pale skin."
"I know what he looks like," Magnus snapped impatiently. He needed to rein it in a bit,

The voice on the other end exhaled, as if relieved. "Ok, good, so it's definitely him then. And you two are - were - a couple?"
"Excuse me?"
If the woman hadn't sounded quite so frightened he would probably have hung up there and then, traced the call and gone to find her to teach her a lesson about interfering in his personal business.

"You two were an item, right?" It sounded like she was being strangled and Magnus decided it would be better to answer her questions truthfully if he wanted to find out what she had to say about Alec before the turn of the next century.

"Yes, we were. It was hardly a secret. What are you getting at?"

"Well I'm really worried about him. And I know you may not want to be with him anymore, but I am hoping that you still care for him enough to help him. I think he may be in danger."

Magnus' heart seemed to stop completely for a moment, before resuming its hard, fast beat.

"If you have done anything I swear..."
"Please! I haven't done anything to hurt Alec! But someone may be about to." She was starting to panic.
"For pity sake please just tell me what is going on. And if you lie to me I will know." He heard her give a small whimper and then clear her throat before she continued.


Jace strode into the library and saw Isabelle sat in an armchair, a small red book propped open in her lap. But she wasn't reading, merely staring off into space. Jace deliberately walked more loudly so that she would hear him and note his presence. The sound of his footsteps broke her away from her trance and she looked up at him.

"How was training?" she asked.
"I set a tree on fire."
She looked at him disapprovingly.

"Not on purpose! I couldn't concentrate..."
"I know it's difficult for you without Alec at the moment and we are both worried about him, but you have to learn to control this... thing. It could be the only effective weapon we have against Sebastian."
Jace heaved a heavy sigh and sunk down to the floor at Isabelle's feet. She pulled him towards her and bent him over so his head rested on her lap; a truly affectionate gesture you would only ever see between family.

"I know," he sighed, his frustration coming out on his breath. Isabelle ran her fingers lightly along his hairline, making him smile.
"You used to do this when we were little," he told her, reminiscing. " When you used to make me and Alec pretend to be your puppies." Jace smiled broadly at the memory and Izzy let out a little laugh.

"You were both so obedient as dogs. That's why I liked that game - so I could sit with you both and just be a part of your world, without you running off and 'training' without me."

"And Alec was always your Prince; I always had to be the Evil Queen. Bit ironic when you think about it."
"I don't see how that is ironic in the slightest," she giggled. "I miss him, Jace. I feel like all my family is being torn away from me. First Max, and then I watched you fall in Ireland - I thought you had died too. And now Alec. It's made me realise how fragile life can be; how easy it is to lose the people you love in a blink of an eye. I know I said that he should get over Magnus and move on and that obsessing about him wasn't healthy. I know I thought all of that and I really did try to bring him round, but I'm seriously regretting it now. It's all my fault." Her voice caught and Jace looked up to see glimmering tears roll soundlessly down her smooth cheek.
"Do you think that Magnus has broken him? Is he gone for good?" she sobbed.

"I think," Jace told her seriously, "That Alec will always have us. We will always be his family and love him. But we were wrong, Iz; we can't fix him. We just have to hold his hand and let him heal by himself."

Suddenly, the familiar sound of the doorbell vibrated through the library and they both looked up with a start.
"I'll get it," he told her, giving her hands a squeeze.

Jace stepped out of the lift and stared across the church towards the large front doors, wondering who it might be when the bell rang again. And again.
"Alright! I'm coming!" he yelled, though the doorbell continued to ring persistently as Jace pulled back the large golden bolts and swung the heavy doors open.

The annoyance on his face dropped, however, when he saw Magnus Bane stood on the front steps. He was wearing a long dark cloak and his face looked pale, devoid of any glitter, and his cat-eyes were wide and darting around nervously.

"What the hell..." but Jace didn't have time to finish his sentence before Magnus pushed past him into the church and ran towards the elevator.

"Magnus, by the Angel, what is going on?!"

The Warlock wheeled around to face him and Jace sucked in a breath; he had never seen Magnus like this before. He looked very angry, very powerful and very dangerous. Red sparks were crackling menacingly about his hands and his face contained all the fury of a hurricane.

With Magnus' sparkly, multi-coloured wardrobe and love of make-up, glitter and parties, it was sometimes too easy to forget that he was a very old immortal and highly potent Warlock, whose demon father was by all accounts a Prince of Hell. This man was dangerous if he was your enemy.

"You," Magnus said coldly, the red sparks becoming brighter, "have some explaining to do."
Jace shuddered involuntarily. He was about to ask whether Magnus had finally lost it, when there was a bright red flash and a great force hit into his chest and knocked him backwards off his feet. The force flung him violently off the ground and he crashed into the now closed doors with a painful thud. His head was whipped backwards by the powerful move and it cracked unpleasantly into the hard wood. There was an intense pain and a sudden darkness.

He attempted to open his eyes a couple of times before he succeeded. When he had finally managed it, Jace noticed that his vision was a little blurred and he had a pounding headache.

I am going to kill that crazy Warlock.

He got up with difficulty and hurried into the elevator and up to the main part of the Institute. His first instinct was to rush to Alec's room and check his parabatai was ok, but he got distracted by yelling coming from the Library. He hoped Magnus hadn't hurt Isabelle.

Jace ran into the room to find Isabelle and Magnus, stood at opposite ends of the large desk that had once belonged to their tutor, Hodge. They were both leaning over it aggressively and shouting at each other. They noticed Jace's presence after a moment and ceased their argument, turning on him instead.

"You of all people should have been looking out for him! You stupid, arrogant little bastard!" Magnus yelled. Jace recoiled a little, trying to process the information. Magnus was still looking murderous, but he didn't seem to be conjuring anything at the moment so Jace felt a little safer.

"Hey, that's not fair," Jace responded. "My parentage may have been in question until recently, but my mother and father were definitely married. Yours on the other hand, Warlock..."
Magnus let out a growl and started towards him angrily. Izzy jumped around the desk as fast as lightening and grabbed the Warlock by his arm, holding him back.
"Magnus, don't! It won't help anyone, least of all Alec!"

The Warlock stopped in his tracks, barely able to contain his rage.

"He has definitely lost it. He knocked me out just now - I've got a really bad headache because of him."

Isabelle shot Jace a warning look, telling him to leave it alone.

"You deserved it!" Magnus barked.

"I let you in and you attacked me. Psychopath."

Magnus wheeled around towards Isabelle, fury darkening his features.
"I want to see him!" he demanded.

Isabelle looked over at Jace questioningly.
"Absolutely not," Jace told the Warlock calmly, "Not when you are this angry."
Magnus let out a shriek of annoyance and red sparks flew from his fingertips.
"Now tell me what is going on. What is all this about? I am assuming you have heard something about Alec?"

At the sound of Alec's name, Magnus' face dropped as if all the energy had been sucked from him; he crumpled up and sunk into one of the chairs next to the desk, despair painted across his face. He looked beyond sad and Jace felt his heart go out to him; this was a man who looked like he would never smile and be happy again.

"I got a phone call from a Warlock who works at a club in Harlem. She said she knew Alec and thought that he might be mixed up in some trouble."
Jace shot Izzy a knowing look, which she returned. The Ifrit drugs den was located in Harlem.

Magnus looked up at them both angrily. "Imagine my reaction, when one of my contacts calls me to let me know that my boyfriend is doing yin fen and hanging around with a dodgy Vampire." There was a lot of bitterness in his voice.

"Ex-boyfriend," Jace pointed out. Isabelle and Magnus both looked at him cuttingly.

"Shut up Jace!" Isabelle ordered.

"Wait - a Vampire? What Vampire?" Jace asked, perplexed. This was the first time he had heard of Vampires.

"Oooh, something the immeasurable Jace Herondale doesn't know..." Magnus muttered under his breath, though deliberately loud enough for them all to hear. The Warlock dropped his head into his hands.

"It's Lightwood, Warlock and don't you forget it. Alec is my brother as well as my parabatai so don't you dare think for one moment that we just let him do these things. We have been trying to help him. It's been hard on us too - we've been going insane with worry."

"Aw, poor babies. Forgive me that I don't feel sorry for you. Alec is slowly killing himself, but how callous of me to not stop for one minute and think of the effect it us having on the two of you."

"Magnus - what Vampire? Jace," she addressed him and turned around to him. "Remember he came back with puncture marks that one time? And didn't he tell you he had gone to that place with Vampires?" Of course, Jace remembered now - there had been a vampire.
"And we knew about the drugs, Magnus. I am really very sorry we didn't tell you about it sooner, but you have to see it from our point of view. You broke up with him Magnus. It was because you broke his heart that he started taking these stupid drugs in the first place. The last thing we wanted to do was involve you anymore than we had to." Isabelle spoke to Magnus with a wisdom and calmness well beyond her years.

"So it's my fault?" Magnus whispered, as if he couldn't quite believe it.

"This is no time for blame, Magnus. You came here because you thought Alec might be in danger, so please hurry up and tell us what you have heard. Because we thought there had been an improvement over the past couple of days, so if you have heard anything to the contrary we need to know. Now."

"She told me that the Vampire he had been hanging around with - really shady character by the way and fairly well known on the Downworlder drugs scene - had gone into her club with some of his cronies and bought a heap-load of various drugs for some big party tonight up on Vinegar Hill. They were talking about Alec being there. Being highly inappropriate about him - how sexy and easy he was and how he knew how to have a good time..."
"And we are sure they were talking about Alec?" Jace interrupted, though he immediately regretted sounding so nasty. Now was not a good time to joke. Magnus shot him a contemptuous look and continued.
"... and how if they had known how incapacitated Nephilim got with just a few drugs in their system how they would be in charge of the Accords. My contact seemed to think that Alec may be in more trouble than he realised. She said this didn't sound like it was going to be your typical illegal rave."

Magnus looked at Jace sternly and he immediately got the hint, turning on his heel and dashing out of the library. Magnus and Isabelle were soon behind him, but he was faster and had a head start so he reached Alec's room first.

"Alec, it's me. Can I come in?" Jace yelled as he knocked furiously at Alec's door. There was no reply so Jace continued to knock as Isabelle and Magnus arrived. She bent over his outstretched arm and pushed the door handle; the door opened easily and the three of them rushed inside.

Jace wasn't surprised at all to see that Alec wasn't there, but it still made his heart sink. He had hoped above anything to find Alec in his room.

"Come on," Magnus told them hurriedly and walked straight back out of the room, not pausing to wait for them,

"Wait!" Jace yelled after him. "We will need some weapons."

They rode the subway over to Brooklyn in an uncomfortable silence.

"Why didn't you just portal us there?" Jace enquired, genuinely curious, though he did think he sounded a little impatient. He was just worried about reaching Alec before anything bad could happen.

"Because, blockhead, magic is exhausting. And I want to be able to have my full strength for when we get over to that warehouse. We don't know what we will find. Vampire parties are always unsavourily unpredictable."

"Well maybe I wouldn't be such a blockhead if you hadn't given me a serious head injury earlier. Which is still hurting by the way."

Magnus didn't look up at him; the Warlock just stared downwards at his hands. "Sorry..." he mumbled under his breath and none of them said another word for the remainder of their journey.


Alec paused and looked at the great iron and brick structure he had been directed to. Dusk hadn't fallen all that long ago and the sky was an intense dark blue. The entire place looked like no one had stepped foot here for many years, but could hear the faintest hint of music coming from inside. He squinted hard, trying to peel away any glamours, but the building remained the same; he guessed the place actually was this shabby.

Alec gripped the hilt of his seraph blade concealed within the pocket of his pants, for could really do with one of Clary's fearless runes about now.

The Vampire was waiting for him just inside the complex, wearing a supercilious smile and gazing at him languidly.

"I've been waiting for you," he purred. Alec gulped, not really knowing what to say.
"Look, the only reason I came here..." he began.
"I know why you've come," the Vampire interrupted. "You want this - whatever this is - to end between us?"
Alec nodded, his face feeling very hot.

"Well that's fine," the Vampire told him with a shrug. "I had hoped you would change your mind, but I can't say I wasn't expecting it." He smiled warmly at Alec and the Shadowhunter felt a wave of relief sweep through him.

"Thank you for understanding. And thank you for everything you have done for me; you really have tried to help me. I know you're a Vampire and I am Nephilim, but we are all on the same side in this war that is coming so it would be great if we could stay friends. Maybe we could hang out some time?"
"Well, we could hang out now. You've come all the way here after all, and I've brought some really good stuff with me. Let's make a night of it before you have to go away and become all goody goody Nephilim again."

Alec pondered the offer briefly. He did always have a great time with the Vampire and he supposed that one last, cheeky, big night wouldn't hurt in the long run, especially if he was going to get back to training and try to sort everything out with Magnus. He felt like he had finally let go of his sorrow and that deserved a celebration.

"Sure," Alec said, smiling at the Vampire.

The music inside was so loud that Alec could barely hear himself think. The Vampire dragged him over to the far corner of the room to a group of battered and cracked dark leather couches. They may have been coloured, but the only source of light was that bouncing from the neon laser beams, making it difficult to tell.

"You stay here! I'll get us some drinks!" the Vampire yelled in Alec's ear, temporarily deafening him. Alec smiled, nodded and gave his companion a thumbs up. The Vampire left and drifted eerily towards the bar that extended across an entire quarter of the left hand wall.

Alec looked around, surveying his surroundings. Unlike the other places they had been, which seemed to be rather generic Downworlder haunts, this place was swarming with Children of the Night. Definitely a Vampire club; Alec wasn't able to spot a single Warlock or Fairy amongst the throng. On second inspection he noticed that the majority of bodies were tangled together, rubbing up against each other scandalously close. And he couldn't see a single heterosexual couple. All of the dancers clung together in single sex pairings.

A Gay Vampire club?

Alec fumbled nervously with his seraph blade, which was starting to feel uncomfortable where it was jammed into his pocket, digging into his thigh. He removed it and placed it on the couch next to him where he could keep an eye on it, and instantly felt much better and more comfortable.

The Vampire returned carrying two bright green drinks and passed one to Alec. He gave it a sniff and instantly knew it was laced with some sort of spell, though he had no idea what its effects could be. The Vampire raised an eyebrow in question to the seraph blade now lying in plain view next to Alec.

"Were you expecting trouble?" the Vampire asked him, shouting to be heard over the din. His lips were curled into a thin smile and Alec felt himself blush, hoping the Vampire wouldn't notice his embarrassment.
"I almost always carry it on me, being Nephilim," Alec lied. "Guess it's just habit!'

Alec took a sip of his drink and the sweetness of apple flavouring filled his mouth, followed by the unmistakeable taste of alcohol, which he thought may be rum, that hit the back of his throat and burned as he swallowed it down. The sweetness of the apples somewhat masked the familiar burnt sugar taste of magic.

The Vampire pulled out his packet of yin fen. The powder seemed to have an unearthly glow in this light and he poured a hefty amount in each of their drinks. Alec hoped briefly that he wouldn't be kicked out of this place for falling asleep, because this amount of the drug usually sent him to his dreams.

"Here is to special friendships!' the Vampire toasted, raising his glass skywards and angling it towards Alec. Alec clinked his glass with the other man's and they both took long gulps. He began to feel sleepy almost immediately; it was such a wonderful and carefree feeling. And with the music and atmosphere around them, it felt truly incredible.

The Vampire scooted over so that he was seated next to and very close to the Shadowhunter. Alec saw him pull something from his pocket that glimmered and he watched on in amazement as the Vampire injected a cloudy fluid into the crook of his own left arm.

He turned to face Alec, holding up the needle so the metal caught the neon light and shone at him, a smile and a questioning look on his face. Alec shook his head, not sure he wanted to partake.

"Oh go on!" the Vampire yelled at him through the noise. "It's a Mundane drug but it's amazing! And it will stop you from falling asleep!"
Alec was sceptical, suddenly having a flashback of the Vampire injecting him with something that first night they had spent together in the Ifrit den. But before Alec knew what was happening the Vampire had pulled the sleeve of his shirt up and was prepping the needle against one of Alec's veins. He briefly thought about protesting and pulling his arm away, but his reactions were a little slow from the effects of the yin fen and the Vampire seemed to move too quickly. He felt a sharp scratch and then a cooling sensation flowing through his lower arm. And the Vampire had been right, it did feel amazing. Alec felt energetic and at peace all at the same time.

Then the night seemed to pass in flashes. He was up on the dance floor, dancing closely not just with the Vampire he knew, but countless strangers. Then he was back at the couches, his Vampire companion drinking from the vein in his neck and sending waves of pleasure through his body. Then he was dancing once more; then leaning over the bar as more silvery powder was poured into his drink.

He was sat on a couch and downing his drink, his Vampire friend sat close to him and smoothing his hair. Alec thought about pushing him away, but the contact felt nice. The Vampire briefly pulled from him and started to undo his flies and Alec looked at him stunned.
"Hey, come on! None of that!" Alec slurred at him. But the Vampire continued what he was doing; he pulled down his dark pants and leant over Alec, causing the Shadowhunter to fall backwards onto the sofa, pinned under the Vampire's body weight.
Alec tried to push him away, laughing at the absurdity of the situation, but for some reason he was not able to shift him.

He could feel his hardness against him and panic rose up in Alec's throat as he tried to struggle away from the contact.
"Stop! No! Please!" he yelled at the Vampire, not sure if he could even be heard. The Vampire persisted and Alec flailed his arm in the direction of the Vampire's face, striking him hard and making him fall backwards slightly. Alec tried to scramble from underneath him but he was still pinned by the Vampire's legs. He couldn't work out where all his strength had gone.

The Vampire held his jaw and laughed. Alec looked up at him in horror as he yelled something out into the crowd. Suddenly, there were hands on him, holding him down. Two or three other Vampires had caught hold of him and spun him around so he was face down and held him in place there. He tried to struggle against them but he couldn't move.

Then the sandy-haired Vampire leant over him again and roughly thrust into him. Alec screamed, though he couldn't hear any sound coming from his lips, completely drowned out by the loud music.

They held him down as the Vampire roughly, violently had his way. It hurt so much; like he was being burned on the inside. Alec felt a stinging sensation in his neck as another Vampire bit him and he began to cry. How could he have been so stupid to let this happen. Why hadn't he kept hold of his seraph blade?

He managed to hit one of the bodies holding him and get his right arm free, but it was quickly re-captured and he felt a horrible pain course up his arm as he was administered another injection. He cried out again. He wasn't sure what he said.

His attacker was laughing coldly and manically as he struck Alec forcefully across the side of his face. The Shoadwhunter felt dizzy and sick as he was hit again, this time by someone who was holding him down. The world spun and he could feel only pain and despair.

I'm going to die.

The assault continued and he could smell and taste blood clouding around him. His own blood. He couldn't see anymore, he could only try to blindly endure what was going on. The blows rained down on him relentlessly, thick and fast.

I deserve to die for being so stupid.

A cold feeling ripped through his insides as the Vampire continued to thrust. And then another sensation of cold penetrated his arm as he was shot with more of the Mundane drug and a blackness hit him as if he had fallen face first into a brick wall.
The last thing he saw before he fell unconscious was a bright flash of something red and fiery all around him, accompanied by the familiar smell of burnt sugar. He felt sick and exhausted and he let oblivion claim him, thankful that he no longer had to endure any pain.

I am so sorry that this chapter has taken so long to get to you, but I am currently sunning myself in the beautiful Canary Islands and haven't been able to get a decent internet connection.

That and this chapter was very difficult to write because it is very horrible!

Please let me know your thoughts - as always feedback is so greatly appreciated! Even if you think I am an utter b***h for putting your favourite characters through hell, I want to know!

Thank you to everyone who has favourited, followed and left reviews so far. I promise that it WILL get better from now on!

There is a light at the end of the tunnel! :-D