Chapter 9

Jiraiya

Dear Naruto fan fiction writers,

Greetings from heaven!

Heaven has computers and God is a toad.

This is Jiraiya! First of all, thank you for giving me great research material for Icha Icha. Tsunade was never able to figure out how I was able to write something without peeping in the bathhouse anymore. I stopped doing that for about a while already and the only reason why I do it occasionally is for personal reasons.

Your country (or world, wherever you are) has developed a great way to peep on women! Thank you 'porn'! I have spent hours and hours devouring moving images of men and women for my Icha Icha Modern, but alas, I had to die before completing it. Kakashi was so disappointed and because of that, I left a message to Naruto that it is my legacy and my final wish to help the boys of Konoha become men!

Frankly, my own knowledge is shamed by yours! Some of the writers here call their works 'lemons'. I should have entitled my recent work Icha Icha Lemons since it's filled with lemons. I thank you all for trying to explore my relationship with Tsunade and actually writing something about us. I am glad that if she found these stories, she won't be able to do anything to me because I am now dead. Please do not suggest that she use the Edo Tensei. That would be a lifelong torture.

I was only disturbed by some of the stories you've written comparing me to Naruto. Just because he's my student, doesn't mean that I acted like him. That's an insult to my name as a Legendary Sannin. And I am not Minato's father and neither is Tsunade his mother. Although, I do hope that. I have never even had a taste of those… *heehee*

Why are their stories about me and Orochimaru?

P.S. Speaking of Orochimaru, I just found out that he's alive. Please tell him to search 'yaoi' or male-to-male pairings, since I think that he's more interested in that.

P.P.S. I'm sorry that this is so short! There's a time limit for using computers here! Sakumo is gonna use this terminal next.

- Jiraiya