TYLER

i walked into school, meeting gina by my locker.

"so...how did it go?" she asked, dragging out the "so" and the "go" part. i assumed she was referring to me and josh's...fifth date? i stopped counting after three.

"it went well." i shrugged, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. i actually took him somewhere this time, down to the shops at red villa. it was cute there, they had nice everything.

she gave me a look, and i couldn't help but smile.

"all right, all right. it's a hell of a feeling, though, being around someone you really like. you know?"

"yes, i know. so you admit it."

"admit what?"

"you like my brother." she teased in a sing-song voice, poking the dimple in my cheek now that i was still smiling at the thought of josh.

"maybe 'like' is a...weak word."

"speak of the devil." gina said, looking past me.

i turned around and was instantly pulled into a kiss by josh, i could tell because of that really nice italian cologne he always wears. he held my back and i put my hands on his shoulders, melting into it.

"hi." he pulled back and smiled, his forehead resting on mine.

"hey." i bit my lip softly and smiled back at him.

"josh! stop kissing my bitch." gina said.

"i hate you."

gina giggled, opening her backpack. "oh, ty. i brought you something from france." she said.

she pulled out a brown paper bag, inside of it was a bunch of yellow wrapped candy bars.

"they're called carambars, and they're so good. eat one now!" she said excitedly.

i took one out of the bag and unwrapped it. i took a bite out of it and wow, it was fucking delicious. i ended up eating three, and i gave josh a few, even though he said gina already gave him a bag.

we were starting the drive to a small cafe gina suggested by the corner of eightieth and one-sixty. since gina came back, she's been obsessed with french food, so she wanted us to try it. will, rob, max, josh, gina, and i were in my car, gina blasting her music through the aux chord.

we pulled up to a small building not too far from school called "la bonne nourriture", i'm pretty sure it meant "the good food" or something. we went in and found a table all the way in the back of the cafe. i sat next to josh, of course, gina next to him, then rob, then will, then max across from us.

a nice looking girl that looked around my age came up to us, a big smile on her face.

"hi, welcome. my name is darcy and i'll be your server today. can i get you started with drinks?"

aw, she was cute.

i, being the simple type, got a glass of water while everyone else got these really weird and complex drinks. i looked up from the menu when i felt someone take my hand. i looked over at josh who was smiling and dipped his head to kiss the back of my hand, releasing it. i blushed at this, the gesture causing me to smile.

i turned my attention back to the menu, reading over the names of the foods.

we finally finished everything, and we still had ten minutes to get back to school. i drove a little faster than the speed limit, but i made sure everyone had their seatbelts on.

safety first.

when we got back to school, we were almost late for our next periods, but i was just thankful that the teacher came in late as well.

towards the end of class, i heard a chorus of whispers behind me. i was trying to pay attention, but i noticed people were passing multiple notes around the classroom from the corner of my eye. everything was written in marker, and it seemed that they were passing them to everyone but me.

i was able to make out some of the words, and i was definitely not okay with it. messages were written in big, swirly handwriting, the ink of the marker bleeding through the paper.

josh dun is a fag, pass it on.

josh should kill himself. fucking fag.

josh and tyler are disgusting, they deserve to die.

i'm sure there were more, but i tried not to think about it. my heart started hurting, and i had a migraine right now. i wanted to go home.

i needed to go home. i felt sick to my stomach.

i quickly packed up my stuff, receiving stares and glances at the noise my books were making. i didn't care.

i needed to go.

i picked up my backpack and jumped out of my chair, practically running out of class. my chest was tightening and it was becoming impossible to breathe. there was fire in my throat with every breath, causing my eyes to water. shit, shit. what was happening to me?

i needed to go home.

i tried my best to make it to my car, but it felt like my heart was being ripped apart. i kept going, reaching my car. i quickly got in, putting my backpack in the passenger's seat, and leaned my head against the steering wheel trying to calm down.

i focused on trying to take deep breaths, because that weight was getting heavier and heavierby the second. i was so scared, this never happened to me before. my heart was beating heavily in my chest and i couldn't breathe.

then i started thinking about all the hurtful words and phrases the notes were saying. were they all around school now? i was remembering all the bullies and punches and kicks and black eyes i would get all the time in middle school for this exact same reason. why was this happening to me? the one time i actually thought i could be happy, why now?