By the wind storm's blast
From the mountain slopes
Maples leaves are torn,
Which turn the river
Into a rich brocade.
It's dark.
I wake up to a throbbing headache, a crick in my neck, and something digging into my side.
Wha… what happened? I reach up to try and rub my face, but my hand's stuck… and my legs are pins-and-needles numb.
I suddenly remember what happened. Mind you, the rhythmic thumping, pain, cramped conditions, and more pain provide a pretty good picture.
I feel around. Long hair… Neji! And… I think… Hinata? Probably.
I put a hand over Neji's mouth while I pinch and prod at him. Sorry Neji, but this is important, and I need you awake. Neji groans and shifts around, so I resort to covering his nose and mouth. He jerks awake with a grumbled, "Makoto?"
I feel a jolt as the person carrying us starts. Thinking quickly, I adopt a sleep-fuzzy tone and mumble, "Ta-ko-ya-ki… dango…" while letting out a couple of grumbles, shifting, and for all purposes, going back to sleep.
Okay, Makoto, think. What's the situation? ...I've been kidnapped. I don't know how long it's been. I'm pretty sure… I'm pretty sure this is a shinobi from Kumo. He (or she) is nervous. But exhausted. His or her nerves are practically shot. I don't hear birds yet, but I'm rather awake, so it's probably early in the morning.
What do I have? I have Neji, Hinata… anything still on me from the festival… the kunai! Thank the heavens for Kagami-jiisan. Okay. I think I have a plan. I just need to talk to Neji.
Taking a few calming breaths, because I'm dead if anything bad happens, I focus on coaxing out a tendril of chakra and imbuing it with a sense of peace, this-is-completely-normal, and the noises I can hear from outside the bag. Genjutsu is supposed to affect the brain. I've read about. I don't know if this will work or not, but I don't know any hand seals. However, what I do know is that I managed to once make Shisui see sparkles and flowers, even if he made me promise him to wait before trying anything like that again. Sorry, Shisui, but… I think this warrants an exception.
I'm not sure if it worked, but… I let out a yawn and a louder grumble. Nothing.
Okay. Here goes… "Neji, we're being kidnapped," I hiss. "Don't panic. I need you to get a hold of Hinata. I have a kunai, and I'll try to cut open this bag enough to jump out. Then, we run. Do you understand?"
I feel the gravity of the situation dawn on Neji, and he nods furiously, rustling the bag. I grab my kunai, cursing at the fact that I'm still in festival wear, before taking a deep breath to try and calm my nerves. What do I need the jōnin to believe…
'I'm safe. I'm far away from Konoha. My village will be so proud of me. I'm tired. Surely, it's fine to have a slight rest… gah! Stupid tree branches! I need to focus. I need to get as far as I can before sunrise. Everything's fine. I have the brats. I'm perfectly safe. Everything's fine. Everything's going smoothly.'
I repeat the sequence of thoughts, praying that my half-formed hypothesis about genjutsu works, before slowly coaxing out another, larger tendril of chakra and sending it towards where I think the Kumo-nin's head is. If only I were facing that way… maybe a deep enough stab… no.
Can't think about that. Can't risk it. What if you miss and they don't die and…
No. Stick to the plan. You know the forests. There aren't forests in Kumo. Not Konoha forests, at least. I think.
Deep breath. Okay. Let's hope. I grab my kunai, taking advantage of a jolt to stick it slightly into the bag. Waiting… waiting… waiting… "Now!" I hiss, yanking the kunai downward as I curl into a ball, pushing through the cut and slamming the kunai into a branc-
A weight slams into me, jolting my arm, and I fall, landing on a leg, only for it to collapse… and the tendril of chakra connecting me to the Kumo-nin snaps.
I freeze. But then a high-pitched voice mumbles, "Hmm? Okaa-san? Chicui-ue?"
I mentally curse, before lunging towards Hinata and Neji, grabbing them, and dragging them around the tree trunk so that it's between the Kumo-nin and us. Unfortunately, Hinata just doesn't shut up, and she actually starts crying.
We're dead. We're dead. "Neji, hurry and get over to that tree. Make sure to be quick, and that the Kumo-nin can't see you. When the Kumo-nin heads for us, Jūken him. I'll try to get Hinata to be quiet. Understand? Good. Go!" I hiss, before steeling myself for a performance.
He needs us alive… I think. This is so undignified, I grumble, before letting out a few choked-off whimpers that are more hysterical laughter. I screw my face and pretend to cry. 'Think Makoto, think! It probably worked… maybe. At least until that connecting chakra faded. You'll have to get ready. Think. Think.'
I add to the theatrics, taking a deep, gasping breath, even as I furiously try to think up a plausible thought process. There are so many possibilities… okay, pick one and stick to it. In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed, Ralph Waldo Emerson.
'There's two missing kids. Where are those two I grabbed? The Hyūga girl and that other one, the one who woke up? Pathetic brats. Seriously, crying? Dammit, I need to hurry up and get going again. And what on earth happened with the bag? Probably scraped against a tree too much or something. I want my money back. Crying, crying… ah, over here. Two sniveling brats. Great. Okay, try to calm them down. Hey, stop crying. Come over here. I have candy. Kids like that, don't they? I think that white-haired one's calming down. Does she actually believe me? She's patting the other one on the back. Maybe I can actually get them to come with my voluntari—'
The stream of chakra cuts off abruptly. I look over to see Neji standing over the downed shinobi.
"I… I Jūkened him in the groin, then jumped up and aimed for the head," Neji gasps, wide-eyed. "I… I think… it worked? I don't know? Makoto, do you think…"
"Good job, Neji," I say, trying not to panic. We're who-knows-where, there's a possibly dead Kumo-nin in front of us… wait. Possibly-dead. "Neji, can you repeat that, aiming for the head again, and then the… um, heart?" Can't take chances. I'm scared. I want to go home. I want Itachi and Shisui and Ojii-san and Okaa-san and Otou-san and… I take a shuddering breath, before limping forward.
I need supplies. My leg isn't working. I think something broke. Not a bone, maybe… but I heard a popping noise. Legs aren't supposed to make popping noises. And now, I can't put much weight on my left leg without it hurting and probably buckling under me and probably hurting even more.
The Kumo-nin, and yes, now it's definitely a Kumo-nin, given that headband, has some very convenient supplies. I take as much as I can. From the weapons pouch to the vest and the extra storage pouches, as well as the bandages on his legs, I take pretty much everything I can. Even the headband and the now mostly-useless bag and that thing around his neck. I'm not sure why, but I'm driven by adrenaline and panic. There's a half-formed plan that if we find anyone, I'll need something to show them that we're not just lying or hysterical, but… I'm honestly not thinking clearly. Anything I can carry, I grab.
Ignoring the sound of Hinata still crying, I turn to Neji. "Okay, do you know where Konoha is?"
Mutely, he shakes his head. I take a deep breath. Okay. Konoha. I'm important, Hinata's important, Neji's important. Someone will come after us. Or we'll find someone. There are shinobi out on missions, watching the border… we'll either find someone or someone will find us. It's a matter of staying alive, safe, and in one piece until then.
"Neji, when you used your Byakugan, did you see any more Kumo-nin around?"
He shakes his head again. "No, but… I can't see very far, either."
So that doesn't mean much. Still… "Neji, help me dig as deep a hole as you can, probably next to some bushes or something. Every couple minutes, turn on your Byakugan quickly and look around. We need to hide the Kumo-nin, and then we need to make it seem like we weren't here."
That's to detract any Kumo-nin, hopefully. Because if there's nothing obvious, they might not know we started heading back from here. Konoha would probably send an Inuzuka after us, or someone else specializing in tracking, and I don't think there's anyone like that in Kumo, so…
Deep breath.
"Wait, Neji, first, do you think you can grab my kunai?" I ask. He nods, and climbs up to grab it, before jumping down.
Neji and I drag the Kumo-nin over to a thicket of bushes by a tree. Well, I say Neji and I. It was mostly Neji. We dig a small indentation, just enough to get a pile of dirt, before dragging him into the bushes and arranging the branches to hopefully discourage anyone from finding him too easily. I remove his shoes, since they're too easy to see. Luckily, like most Kumo-nin, this one's dark-skinned.
Also luckily, it's September, and there are plenty of fallen leaves around. I grab an armful, piling them over the Kumo-nin and trying to make everything seem as natural as possible. I try to remove the tracks showing where we dragged the Kumo-nin, before tossing more leaves over the entire thing. When we get back, Hinata's stopped crying loudly, but is now huddled in a ball, hiccuping.
"Neji? Can you carry Hinata?" I ask.
He thinks, then nods slowly. "I think so."
"Awesome." I turn to Hinata. "Hey, Hinata?"
She peeks up. "W-what?" she hiccups, swiping a sleeve over her face and sniffling.
I blank. "Uh… do you think you can stand up?"
She nods.
"Okay, Neji's going to give you a piggy-back ride, okay?" I grin. "We're playing a game!"
She frowns. "What type of game?"
I dramatically look away. "Well… you don't really have to play if you don't want to," I say slowly. "But Neji bet that he was stronger than me. I told him that, to prove it, he'd have to carry you while walking." I look at her piteously. "Please? And then, I need to show that I can walk even farther than he can. So… do you think you can help me."
Hinata blinks for a moment before nodding hesitantly. "Ano… hai."
"Wonderful!" I exclaim, clapping my hands together. "So, just come over here. I'll give you a boost." After a bit of shuffling around, we get Hinata situated. "Okay, now… just stay there, okay?"
Hinata nods.
"Neji, just walk… that way," I decide, pointing. It's pointless to head straight back. I think I knew which direction the Kumo-nin was heading. If I consider that northeast, and the fact that he couldn't have traveled enough to leave the Land of Fire… we should head west, first. Keishi, the capital, is either south or southwest. If there are people from Kumo or Kaminari no Kuni over there, I don't want to bump into them. So, west. Which, if I face the direction the Kumo-nin was heading, should be behind me and to the left. "Try not to step on any branches. I'll follow behind you." 'And clean up your tracks,' I add mentally, 'While trying to keep weight off my injured leg.'
It's sometime while we're walking that the… vision? Hallucination?— I'm not sure what it is— strikes first. It's just a feeling, and it's almost as if I just… fell asleep. You know, how when you're really tired, you just drift off, and then something causes you to suddenly wake up and feel really alert? A bit like that. It felt the same, at first. Someone in front of me at nighttime. I'm stumbling and there's this same feeling. Kind of a mix of shock, and 'okay, well, that happened, and i have no idea what I'm doing but this kinda feels right?'
It's broken when Hinata coughs, and the earlier image of the other person disappears. No. Neji's shorter than that. And they're not wearing white. Why did I think he was wearing white?
We trudge on until we find a small river. By then, the sky is already lightening up. That gives us a better idea of direction, and we adjust. Following the gravel bed upstream, we continue heading west until we reach a small pond, and the sun's on the horizon. To be honest, it's not really a pond. But… there are ducks nearby, and I see dark shapes under the water. There's a splash, and rippling scales, and… there's fish. Salmon, I think. But there are also smaller ones… ayu. Sweetfish. It's not that late in the year, apparently. But more importantly, that means…
"I think the water here should be safe to drink," I murmur. "But first, I want to try something…"
I cut a length of ninja wire with a kunai, before tying one end around the loop at the back, while fastening the other end to a stick, which I stick into my belt. I should be able to catch some fish. They should be safe to eat raw. And if I can find a pregnant female salmon, or sake, the ikura should be good to eat, too.
But… I mean, I could use a rock, especially after washing it and cleaning it, but…
The sunlight means that I can actually see some of the plants now. And, if I'm not mistaken… yes! I find a few stalks of shiso, or rather, aojiso, the green variety. It's the thing that's usually with sashimi, I think, but the most important thing is that it's clean and edible and good to serve as a leaf-plate-thingy, and… I think Shisui said that it could kill parasites in raw fish when eaten.
I'm not sure if I believe him or not, but it can't hurt.
By now, the sun's high enough that the clearing is brightly lit, and I have an aid to help in my efforts at fishing. I can't stand on the water, but there's a few rocks poking out of the water in the middle of the pond.
I take off my yukata and socks and shoes, shivering at the cold, before wading over with my kunai. I still can't put weight on one leg, and that proves unfortunate, because my right leg lands on something slippery. Since it bears the entirety of my weight, I fall with a loud splash.
Water goes up my nose. My eyes are screwed shut. I want to gasp for air, but my head's still underwater. My feet don't touch the gravel bottom. I… can't… breathe…
I slam into a rock, and I grab onto it. I pull myself upright against the current, coughing and spluttering, fingers probably scraped raw against the gravel, before using it as leverage to reach a larger rock nearby.
I climb onto it, shivering and drenched, but with the kunai still in my hand.
See the fish. Wait for it… I throw the kunai onto the fish that surfaced nearby. I also miss. Right. I almost forgot. Aim below the fish. I coil up the wire, grab the kunai, and wait again for another fish to get closer. This one's big. Aim carefully…
Splash! I quickly kneel down, winding up the wire, trying carefully not to cut myself. Quickly, quickly… I quickly pull my shirt off, take a deep breath, and jump at the fish. I grab the fish with the shirt, wrapping it up and preventing it from struggling. My hand touches the gravel. I push up, grab at a rock, and pull my head back above the water.
The store isn't far away. I toss my precious bundle, carefully watching it as it lands on the bank. Okay. Now, time to get me out of the water. I drop myself into the water, holding onto the rock for dear life. Okay. There's another rock there… and another one here… and I'll have to watch for my step on that one, because it looks really slippering…
Eventually, I manage to pull myself onto the shore. My fingers are freezing, I'm shivering, but we have food.
I carefully unwrap the fish. I think… yes, this fish is pregnant. We don't have salt or soy sauce or anything, but… it's edible and it'll have to do. I fashion a rough bowl-like shape out of my shirt, before pushing down on the belly of the fish. A stream of orange eggs pop out from the belly, and I quickly aim it at the cloth indentation.
I repeat the motions until there's no more eggs, before grabbing another kunai and cutting the salmon's head off, whispering an apology.
In the meantime, Neji shuffles over. "What's that?" he whispers.
"Ikura," I respond. "It's good to eat. I'll also clean the fish and try to catch some more, for lunch. We'll feel hungry soon, after everything we did. I want to try to have some food ready. Do you think you can clean another rock? Try to find something like this, that's flat, or that has a bit of a dip in the middle. If you need to, use a kunai to scrap stuff off."
He nods, and heads over to the riverbank, examining the rocks. Once I'm happy that he seems mostly fine, I look for Hinata. She's… asleep, against a tree. To be honest, that's probably for the best. This situation isn't one that's suitable for a normal three-year-old. Apparently, normal three-year-olds panic and cry and don't listen. Yeah… I can't really blame Hinata, but I much prefer her to be asleep.
I pick the rock up, and head back to the pond. I'll try to arrange some rocks and use the fish's organs for bait. Plus, I need the water to clean the fish. The kunai's as clean as I can get it. But really, this salmon isn't that big. It's that hump-backed type. It might do, but… I should really try to get another one. Or two. I got lucky with this one. I should… I should prepare. I think. Just in case. I don't know.
The head's already off, so… picking up the kunai, I carefully slit the belly, pulling out the organs and dumping them into the lake, before rinsing the fish. I extend the cut to the tail, before doing the same to the top, careful to keep to one side of the bones. The cuts aren't that clean, and I'm making a bit of a mess, but I manage. Then, I do the same long the other side of the spine, before cleaning the pieces up and trying to get rid of as many bones as I can. The point is to get something to eat, I remind myself. Neatness and making it look nice isn't important.
I rinse both sections, before cutting them up more and putting them on a "plate" of rinsed shiso, and covering them with more shiso. I also cover the ikura with wet shiso.
There's quite a bit of ikura, so… I should be okay with just one more fish, I guess.
I shift over to where I dumped the remnants of the fish. Time to brave the cold and the wet again.
Hours have passed. The sun went from gentle, to straight above, and the light went from soft to bright, to golden. And then orangey. And now, a reddish scarlet that contrasts with the almost blueish shadows. We've eaten our way through four fish. I have three more chopped up nearby. It turns out that spending an entire day trying to catch fish is very good practice for aiming kunai, and having so many targets means that I have a decent chance of hitting something. Hinata woke up a bit before midday, ate, and went back to sleep during the afternoon. Neji's silent.
I stare at the shadows. They get longer with every passing second. It's getting darker.
I wonder if Konoha knows we're missing. Logic dictates that they should have realized in the morning, but… if the Hyūga stayed up late drinking and attending the festivities… they should have woken up before midday, right? They should have realized we weren't in Konoha by then. But, then again, they might have just assumed that we kids had gone out to play or something. But attendance at dinner is mandatory.
Right now, it's probably a bit before sunset. That's when dinner is. It for a koku, about two hours. If we don't show up at sunset, they'll get worried, but they probably will just think we lost track of time or something. However, by the end of dinner, they should be really panicked. The Kumo-nin ran with us until at least half a koku, an hour or so, before sunrise… I think. He probably left a little after midnight. If the distance he ran is equivalent to someone running for two koku, four hours, of running with the added weight of three kids on his back, anyone from Konoha should be able to do the same in less than two koku. Maybe less than one koku. I don't know.
A koku past sunset. About eight. Maybe it will take an hour for them to actually ready a group to search for us. It shouldn't take longer than two hours, I'd imagine. We're pretty important, after all. Eight + two + five. Fifteen. So… three o'clock. About a koku and a half past midnight. If no one's found us by tomorrow morning, we'll have to try to head home ourselves.
I shift over to where Neji's sitting, and tell him what I decided. He agrees.
I don't want to leave, though. My leg hurts. And it's scary. I prod Neji until he stands up, and I drag him over to where I've got the fish.
"Eat up," I tell him. "We shouldn't keep it out for too long. Plus, we'll need our energy if… if no one shows up tomorrow."
Neji nods and picks up some more fish with the shiso leaves. I do the same. The salmon doesn't really taste like much, and the texture gets a bit unpleasant after only having that, but the perilla leaves, the shiso, help with the taste. I normally don't like them, but… they're delicious right now. The ikura, salmon roe, don't taste like much either, but are a welcome change from the salmon. They're not naturally salty, apparently. If I'm being honest, that was a bit of a surprise.
But… it's food. And they're filling. I'm honestly not that hungry, but… I force myself to eat. I can't waste food. At least, the good thing with not eating many vegetables is that I don't have to try and… uh… well… go poo. Speaking of… excretion… that is one example of why I'm very thankful to be a boy in this life. Peeing is considerably easier, neater, and just cleaner, especially when there's no toilet. That's also the reason why I haven't offered Hinata much water to drink. Earlier, I also made sure to tell Neji to go well away from the pond before going number 1.
We don't need extra ammonia in the drinking water. There's already enough from the fish… and I'm going to very determinedly not think about that.
I lean back on the grass. I'm tired. The sun's touching the horizon now, and it's pretty dark. Surely it would be fine for just a short nap?
My mind drifts back to that weird vision/deja-vu thingy from earlier. I thought I was following someone… someone else. A bit taller, wearing white. Could it be from Before? Maybe it was from during my childhood, or from any of the other times I was out at night… maybe in Disneyland? But no, the only light was from the moon and stars… I think.
It was an uphill climb… or was it a downhill climb. We passed through forest? Or was it a rockier mountain? Maybe it was a night hike? I've been on those before. The person in front of me was leading me somewhere. We were trying to get somewhere. Maybe it was a night hike, like something from any of the school-sponsored retreats in middle and high school? But… no. Those weren't in the dark, I think. And I don't remember a moon for those. And we definitely had to have flashlights, for safety, I remember. I don't remember a flashlight then… but it was a rather bright night. So maybe I just don't remember flashlights? But there wasn't a path, I think. And I thought there was a feeling of scratches on my feet, and the itch of grasses on bare skin. And I only remember that other person, no one else. Any school trips had large groups of people.
Maybe… maybe I'd gotten lost on my way to the restroom or something? And there was a campfire behind me, I think. No, wait. Not a campfire. Fire. Something was on fire… but I don't remember panicking. Maybe it was candles?
I think I began heading towards the firelight. No, running. I… tripped? I don't remember. I had to tell someone something… I think. And there was an odd feeling… desperation?
All of a sudden, a rustle of bushes snaps me out of my doze.
The sun's more than half-way down, now. How long was I out?
"There you are!" a voice calls.
I flinch, spinning around and pushing myself to my feet. My foot. A flicker of movement shows me that Neji did the same thing. The sudden movement jarrs my bad leg and I almost want to cry, but…
A dog jumps into the clearing. It's massive, probably at least twice my height, with fluffy orange fur that's probably at least a foot long.
Oh. Never mind. Two dogs. A small, fluffy white dog jumps off the orange one's back. I think… that's a pomeranian. Huh.
"Good job, Mura, Mizu!" the voice exclaims.
A shinobi with a Konohagakure hitai-ate and a chūnin vest bounds in after the dogs. "Hi everyone! Good job with the… um… situation. I'm Inuzuka Koga, and I'm part of the team sent to get you guys back."
I examine him. He's pretty tall, with spiky brown hair in a low ponytail, tanned skin, and the typical Inuzuka fang tattoos on his cheek. I think we can trust him. I guess I was right. However…
I rattle of a series of questions. "Who's also in the team? Why were you selected? What's currently going on?"
The chūnin blinks. "Uh… the Hyūga clan head and his brother. I'm one of the best trackers in Konoha, and the most well-rounded, since Murasakimaru here has a great nose and Mizuiromaru, the angry little one, has some of the best ears in the village."
Said angry little one growls.
"And, ah, well, the Hyūga clan realized that you guys were missing by around lunchtime. After a bit of asking around, it turned out that no one had seen any of you since yesterday. The Kumo delegation left around mid-morning for the capital, and, well, people put two and two together. There's a couple shinobi sent after that delegation, but I was sent in this direction."
Okay, seems fair. I nod. There's just one issue. "Okay. But then, where's Hiashi-sama and Hizashi-san?"
"Hyūga?" the chūnin asks. I nod. "They told me to find you as quickly as possible."
My eyes narrow and I back up slightly. Something seems off… "They said you guys were the important thing, and that they'd track me with the Byakugan. Hey, Mura, Mizu. D'you know where the two Hyūga are?" He asks, crouching down a bit. After a few moments, the dogs bark. Koga-san straightens up. "Okay… they're near the dead body. About… two miles or so that way," he points.
Okay. I think we can trust him. And I want a familiar face so badly. But… "Neji's tired. Hinata's asleep." I announce bluntly. "Someone needs to carry them."
The chūnin nods. "Yeah. I can carry one or Mura-chan can carry them both," he mentions.
"You carry Hinata. I'll go with Neji on… Murasaki-chan?" I ask, looking doubtfully at the fluffy behemoth. She barks.
"Oh, definitely," the chūnin laughs awkwardly. "I didn't notice, but… you're practically dripping wet, aren't you?"
I give him a deadpan stare. "Fish are food. Fish live in water. Clothes + water = ?"
"Fair enough," he laughs, before heading over to Hinata. Neji and I watch carefully as he maneuvers her into this… sling-like device, before strapping her to his back. It's a bit like a baby backpack.
Meanwhile, Murasakimaru lies down on her belly, wagging her tail.
"Get on," Koga-san encourages. "Just hold onto her fur. Try not to yank on it… but don't worry, she doesn't bite."
Neji, who's moved closer, looks doubtfully at the dog. I sigh. "Neji, give me a moment."
I limp over to our supplies. I grab my shirt and dump it onto the rough fabric of the bag, before quickly typing my yukata around myself. Using that as a shield, I also quickly strip off the rest of my clothing, before wringing out as much water as I could, and then also dumping it onto the sack, quickly followed by everything else. I scuttle over to my shoes and socks, back still to everyone else, before grabbing them. I quickly grab my pants, use them to wipe my feet— it's not like they haven't been through worse at this point— before sliding the socks onto my feet, followed by my geta. I tie my obi around the yukata, wring out my hair one last time, and roll the bag, along with everything else, into a neat package.
"Okay. I'm ready now," I announce.
All the way back, I feel this odd sense of anxiety, almost as if… as if something bad's going to happen. But… what would that be? Maybe it's just because I'm feeling so cold and just… generally exhausted.
And the sun's definitely set by now. So why do I keep seeing fire? And… no, that doesn't make sense. But this almost… almost feels like deja vu. And there's this ghost of a feeling of… suffocation, but more of a sensation than anything, as if nothingmakessense and it's almost like the world issqueezinginonmeandwhatisgoingonwhywouldhedotha— wait, what?
No, it's just paranoia and fear, probably from the dark, I tell myself. It's nothing.
I shake my head I wind my hands through Murasakimaru-san's soft fur, making sure Neji doesn't fall.
A while later, we finally stumble back to the clearing.
Hyūga Hizashi-san's there. I shake Neji awake, and he runs straight at his father, jumping into his arms. Hiashi-sama comes to collect Hinata.
I see that the Kumo-nin's been dragged out from where we tried to hide him, and I carefully avert my eyes. I sigh in relief, letting the bag drop on the ground. I'll give it them in a moment. Finally… it's time to go home.
However, a shout chases away my lethargy.
"YOU!"
I spin around.
"You… you Konoha scum! The ink on the treaty hasn't even dried yet, and you've already murdered the head ninja!"
Hizashi-san, Hiashi-sama, and Inuzuka Koga-san surround us. More Kumo-nin arrive… and then Konoha-nin. Tensions are high, and everyone's shouting at everyone else.
"The person over there kidnapped us!" I shout, but no one listens. My nose stings, my eyes moisten, and… to my shame, I start crying.
But then again, no one really paid attention to me. Or us. Three little kids, stuck in the middle of a mess they weren't ready for.
Are they blind? The shinobi's evidently been dead for quite some while. And why would his killers still be there? And what moron would bring three children with them if they wanted to kill someone?
But the problem? The situation isn't black and white. Either the rest of the Kumo delegation don't know that the head shinobi was going to kidnap us, or they're doing a very good job of feigning innocence. The only solid evidence we have is what I took off the shinobi, which is in a sack at my feet, relatively out-of-view, my injury, and the fact that there are three kids several miles from Konohagakure, and they're not conclusive of the head shinobi's guilt. By the same standard, the stories of three disoriented children is hard to believe, especially when they can't actually explain everything to everyone's satisfaction. Like my kinda-genjutsu that I try to talk around. And the fact that three kids managed to take down a war-hardened shinobi. And the biggest problem for us?
The rest of the concrete evidence… wasn't good.
Fact— The head ninja was unarmed. There was nothing showing that he was a ninja.
Fact— The head ninja died via a Jūken strike to the head.
Fact— There were only four people capable of doing that: Hizashi-san, Hiashi-sama, Hinata, and Neji.
Fact— The Raikage gave Konohagakure an ultimatum— they would either give him the head of the killer, or he would declare war.
Fact— Konoha was not ready for another drawn-out war.
Fact— Two weeks later, there is a closed-casket funeral for Hyūga Hizashi.
.
.
.
After the issue of the dead Kumo-nin, the treaty between Hi no Kuni, the Land of Fire, and Kaminari no Kuni, the Land of Lightning, is in critical danger.
It's been almost a week since… since what happened.
After the ANBU brought… us… back to Konohagakure… well… due to… various issues… I couldn't stay at the Hyūga compound. The… uh… circumstances of my… protection detail… would have probably… more-greatly disturbed me had… it not been under the existing circumstances.
I was taken care of by the team consisting of Mitarashi Anko, Nakahara Kunimatsu… Hyūga Hiderō… and… Sannin no Orochimaru. Ironically? I get along best with Orochimaru-sama. Oops. Orochimaru-san. He told me not to call him Orochimaru-sama.
I spend a lot of time just… thinking. Trying to digest everything. Trying to understand. Try to figure things out. That's why I currently get along best with him— he doesn't speak.
He's perfectly fine with sitting at the table with a pot of tea, some food, and occasionally a book, while I sit on the other side and stare down at the table, or the food, or at my lap, or outside the window. Apart from the occasional whistle of the kettle, the slight sound of chewing, and the occasional rustle of pages, there's no noise. I like that. I also really like his chawanmushi, which is like this steamed savory egg custard, and he seemed appreciative of Otou-san's recipe for tea eggs… that's good, I guess? I'm not… really in the mood to do much of anything.
I go through the motions of routine out of a… a lack of anything else to do, I guess.
Shinko-chan came in to check on me, even though she has the week off, and I should be thankful, but… I feel so empty.
I'm not in the mood for studying. And I've got a splint on my leg. Apparently, I'd hurt my knee and my ankle. And while my ankle's no big deal… they had to do a bit more on my knee. No one would explain anything in detail, but… it'll heal. Eventually.
The first two days pass like that.
On the third day, I finally start feeling a little human. It doesn't stop that little voice that keeps whispering, though. '...if anything happens, it's your fault, you know. If you just didn't do anything… if you just shut up and sat down and waited for someone else, everything would be better. It's your fault…'
Yes, it's my fault. The problem is… what can I do? I can't go back in time to change things. I'm not sure what I should have done, other than not take everything, or make sure Hinata, Neji, and I couldn't get kidnapped in the first place. And… I don't know what do to now. Should I apologize? Are words enough? What should I do? For that matter, what's going on?
I don't know. I've been thinking about it for two days. I don't know how to initiate anything, or whether what I can do will stop that uncomfortable twisting feeling of guilt in my stomach.
I spent the first day in bed, sleeping. Or rather, trying to sleep. To not think. That didn't work.
On the second day, yesterday, I tried heading over to the Hyūga compound. Hyūga Hoheto-san was at the door, and he was nice about it, but made it very clear that there was Important Business going on and that I was Not Allowed.
I'm not kidding. I could practically hear the capital letters when he talked.
That made my anxiety worse. I didn't eat much during lunch, though I sipped at the miso soup.
In the afternoon, I tried going to see if Itachi and Shisui were back. Orochimaru-san dropped me off at the gate to the compound, at my insistence. They weren't. Kagami-jiisan was there, though. He was nice, and that uncomfortable feeling of something twisting my stomach around stopped. briefly. He kept telling me how brave I was, and how I did such a good job of trying to stay safe. The problem came when he asked how I was feeling. I think my silence answered that better than anything I could have said. Kagami-jiisan just poured me some more tea and said that while I might be feeling guilty, that nothing was my fault. I couldn't have done anything. I couldn't have known what would happen.
When he told me that, the twisting feeling came back. I quickly excused myself, and ran back to the gate. Orochimaru-san was still waiting there. I grabbed his hand and let him lead me back to my house. Once I get back, I quickly thank him and tell him that I'm feeling tired, and that I'll probably head upstairs for a nap.
I don't nap.
Instead, I wrap myself around a pillow, cocoon myself in blankets, and wonder why I'm crying.
…
On the third day, in the morning, I ask for his help with all of the questions I've been pondering.
It probably isn't my smartest decision. However, I'll drive myself mad if I don't get some answers, and he's my best option. Shisui's still not back, and neither is Itachi. Kagami-jiichan will probably try to sugarcoat things or divert the subject or try to wave my concerns off.
Orochimaru-san is my best option.
"Orochimaru-san?"
"Hmm?"
"...Did you hear about what happened… on… well, then?" I shrug. I'm not sure how to describe it. Luckily, he seems to get the idea.
"Yes."
"I feel guilty. I don't know what to do about that. I was hoping… if you can tell me what I should have done. And… if possible, how to prepare for stuff like… like that."
There's an unnerving silence after my words. I wonder if I've made a mistake. But… at this point, I'm not even sure it matters.
"...Why." It's as much a question as it is a demand. I oblige.
"You're smart. You're a jōnin. You've probably been in situations like this. I can't do anything, right now. The Kumo shinobi were really, really angry. A lot of it was because of something I did. I want… I want to make sure I won't do something like that again. I need to see what else I could have done, if there was a right was to do stuff." I give a sad smile. "Kind of like if a person is mean. You need to know what to do. Like, if they're a bully, or they didn't actually mean it and just kind of… lashed out. You need to know what to do if you feel angry, or if you feel sad. You can't punch them. See? You need to know what to do in… in certain… situations. Like when Otou-san told me to blow my whistle if I ever felt really scared and needed help. This is the same."
There's another long silence.
"May I review the situation?" he asks. Without waiting for an answer, he continues. "You and two others were kidnapped by a Kumo shinobi. Whatever he does to render you all unconscious, or whether he does anything at all… it doesn't matter. You wake up at some point during his escape. Using a kunai you have, you manage to free yourself, along with the two other children. During the process, you injure your leg. Then, something happens. The Kumo jōnin dies by a Jūken strike to the brain. You strip him and try to hide him, before running away." He pauses to let everything sink in. "Am I wrong?"
"...No. Not really," I answer softly.
"Now, I will start at the beginning. I will stop at certain points. You will tell me what you knew, and what you did as a result."
I nod. "Hai."
"You wake up in a rather cramped bag—"
"Wait." I wince. I probably could have chosen a better way than interrupt, but… "I actually woke up a bit earlier. I think it was when the stranger first got into our room. I think that's why he took me, too."
"...oh?"
I nod. "Yes. I don't remember much. I think I thought he was Hizashi-san or Kō-san or someone like that, who was trying to get us to our bedrooms. But then, something hit me, and I went back to sleep."
Orochimaru-san nods slowly. "You woke up, registered someone, assumed they were friendly, and were knocked out as a result. Am I right?"
I nod again. "Yes."
He pauses, tapping his fingers slowly on the table. "...You couldn't have done anything. You don't have enhanced senses, and it was dark. However, once you become a shinobi, you should learn how to either sense chakra, or just consider everyone who wakes you up as an enemy. Or, you could simply secure your sleeping area in a way that would alert you if any strangers come too close, while making sure to show your comrades how to disable your traps. Normally, this is why shinobi take turns keeping watch… which is when one member of a team stays awake to make sure no enemy shinobi come close."
I nod.
Orochimaru-san continues. "Moving on. Then, the enemy shinobi knocks you out. If you become a shinobi, simply work on your reflexes and know what do in combat scenarios. Learning how to augment your body with chakra and simply growing up will also help. Next… when you wake up inside the bag."
"I had a headache. There was this jolting feeling, so I knew we were moving. Plus, Neji's hair was in my face, and Hinata was probably the one elbowing me. So I knew we were all taken. Probably by a shinobi, too, since we were last in the Hyūga compound. I didn't know who or why. But I was still in my yukata. So, I woke Neji up, told him to grab Hinata and get ready to jump, and then slashed the bag with the kunai. I didn't expect to be in midair when that happened, though. Still, I'd managed to dig the kunai into a tree, which hurt my shoulder a bit, but not too much. Unfortunately, someone, I think Hinata, slammed into me, knocking me down. I landed on my leg. Hinata fell next to me and started crying. Then—"
Orochimaru-san cuts me off with a sharp wave of his hand. "That's enough for now. First, do you know what your biggest mistake was?"
I shrink in on myself. "I didn't realize we were tree-jumping."
"Precisely. That will be less worrisome when you become a genin, as will your landing. Genin are trained in how to fall and how to catch themselves, as well as how to land. There's also a technique known as tree-walking, where shinobi can, quite literally, walk up trees, but that's irrelevant. Again, you probably chose the optimal course of action for that instance. Had you known it was a Kumo-nin, you probably should have stabbed him or had your friend incapacitate him before attempting to escape, however… can you tell me why that could have been bad?"
"That's the reason I didn't stab him with my kunai, first, to be honest," I reply. "I wasn't sure of my aim, especially since we were all inside a bag. Plus, I don't know how hard it is to stab someone. And if I didn't hit something important, like an organ or something, he would know that I was awake, that I had a kunai, and that I was probably trying to escape."
"Indeed." He taps his fingers on the table. "Apart from that, you were extraordinarily lucky that your conversation with your friend did not alert the shinobi first, but do move on with a plan of action without waking at least one would probably have resulted in the death of those two, so it is understandable. Moving on. What did you do next?"
"So, I grabbed Hinata and Neji and dragged us all behind a tree. Hinata was still crying. I told Neji to quickly get a bit away, to hide behind a nearby tree, while I acted as bait to draw the shinobi. And… I just pretended to be a scared, harmless kid. The shinobi actually tried to talk to us, when he got closer, and that's when Neji attacked. He managed to knock the shinobi out, I think. Though, he might also have killed him then. I told Neji to make sure. That was when I realized he was a Kumo-nin, and that someone was probably really wrong. Shinobi work in teams. I was worried there were more Kumo-nin nearby. I asked Neji, since he has the Byakugan. Still, he told me that he can't see too far, so there probably weren't but that wasn't certain. But I knew that Konoha has the Inuzuka clan, and they could probably smell us, even if we hid from Kumo-nin. So, we hid the Kumo-nin. I wasn't sure how soon it would be until Konoha could find us, so I took as much stuff from the Kumo-nin as possible. Both because we might need it, and because if we found someone, we'd need proof or something, right? He didn't have that much, honestly, so it wasn't too heavy. We then hid the Kumo-nin and covered our tracks as best we could. We weren't sure where Konoha was, but I was pretty sure the Kumo-nin was running away from Konoha. Still, I don't think shinobi run in a straight line, so there was no guarantee. But using that, I decided to head west. Because there's there probably more Kumo-nin that could come from the capital, and I didn't want them to accidentally run into us. So… we left." I look down.
"...In hindsight, that was, essentially, the pivotal moment. Your logic made sense, and I cannot fault it." I look up, eyes wide. Wait, what?
"However…" he sighs. "If you truly want solutions to your problems… learn. Train. Practice. Read. You could have made a better decision. Yes, you made a good decision with what you had and knew. It could have worked. It should have worked. Unfortunately… life is cruel and full of surprises."
He looks at me, opens his mouth… and closes it again, sighing. "You wanted me to tell you of how you could have changed circumstances so that… things wouldn't have turned out the way they did, correct?"
I nod. "Hai," I whisper.
"In life, you will have many regrets. You could have done better. Technically. If you had more at hand, you would have had more possibilities." He sighs. "And yet… never mind. Based on our conversations, I believe that you are, at the very least, a moderately intelligent and sensible child. When you turn six, join the Academy. Try to graduate early, if you can. And keep up this attitude, child. There is always room for self-improvement, and I am glad that there is another person who recognizes that." He moves as if to get up, but pauses to look back. "How old are you, again?"
I stare at him. To answer or not to answer… telling the truth might be dangerous, but at the same time, telling a lie would also hold risk.
I grin. "My birthday's on the thirty-first of December!"
Orochimaru-san raises an eyebrow. "And mine is on October 27. I will be turning forty-two. You?"
I huff. Blast it. Evasion failed. But… that's interesting. And wow he's old. For this world, at least. Well… let's hope I land on my feet after this one. I will be proud. I will sit up straight. I will look my (possibly) impending doom in the eye.
"...Four!"
The fourth day started on a rather… interesting note.
The third day had concluded with Orochimaru-san basically staring at me for the rest of the afternoon and evening while I did my homework and tried to read through and take notes from my history books. I kept feeling oddly self-conscious. I mean, yeah, it's not really normal for someone to take up half of a rather large kitchen table, but… that's normal for me. I'm good at taking up space. Plus, with three history books and a dictionary besides, what else exactly are you supposed to do? Finding the right pages individually takes too long, and they're too heavy, besides.
I still think I like Orochimaru-san, though. When I started getting drowsy, he'd helped me upstairs and tucked me in, and also helped clean up.
This morning, during breakfast, I ask him a bit more about the sections I read and reviewed. It was about the Second Shinobi War, and the reasons it began and ended. It's pretty interesting, but it's really dry and it's sometimes a bit boring. Of course, the fact I have to look up a new word every line or so doesn't help. But when Orochimaru-san explains things and tells the story, it seems like he's picking apart all of the extra layers and flowery language in some of the books, and breaks everything down into simple parts.
He's so cool! And smart! And cool! He's not really nice, I think. Not in the traditional sense. But then, he's not warm enough to be kind, but there's also none of that ice and coldness associated with polite. So… I guess he's nice. But if he's nice… maybe Itachi and Shisui and Kagami are kind instead. So, people start as polite and become nice and then become kind. Usually. Kagami-jiisan just kinda started as kind. And Shisui was nice at first.
Gah! Putting people into words is hard.
But when my stomach started growling again, when I actually invited Orochimaru-san up to my room 'cause the sun started shining in and bouncing off the table, since my room has those translucent, silky curtains that block the worst of the glare that the kitchen doesn't… I get to the important thing.
"Orochimaru-san? I… you have a genin team. Anko-san's a chūnin, but the other two aren't, I think. So, you're still teaching them, right? Then… you've been so busy taking care of me… I know it's a mission, but can I watch you guys train? I'm… I'm curious what your team does."
He shifts, leading back against his chair, studying me closely.
"It's dangerous. You are right that I had plans that I now intend to put aside due to this mission. However, if you truly do not mind and promise to stay on your best behavior, to stay quiet and still and not get in anyone's way… I don't see why not. The training exercise I had actually planned is in a particularly dangerous training ground, and it is a survival-style exercise. It would not be safe for you to be on the ground. However, I have recently come across backpack-style carriers for children up to those four years of age. It shouldn't be outside the realms of possibility to fashion one."
I tilt my head. "I think there's an easier way," I think out loud. "Is there a store for those in Konoha?"
"Of course," Orochimaru-san responds. "They have been rising in popularity for shinobi parents, or even rather civilian parents who travel frequently."
My eyes shine, and I jump up, placing my hands on the table. "Can you show me?"
It's a wonderful investment. I have many shinobi friends, and I foresee that I can use this for a long time, still. I doubt it's too too expensive. And I'm small, so I can probably also use it for a while after I turn five, especially if it's well-made.
Maybe now, Shisui can actually bring me to all of the places and we can do all of the things that Kagami-jiisan normally says are "too dangerous." Like climbing up the face of the Hokage monument. Or walking to the top of one of those super tall trees in the forest. Or playing pranks on the ninja in the Hokage Building. Shisui really likes hanging upside down with funny faces just outside the window. It would be hard for him to hold me like that, but if there's a backpack…
My eyes probably gleam with an unholy light. For once since the… affair… I feel alive again. Oh… this is amazing. This backpack, if it works, will be worth every ryo I'll pay for it.
Half-an-hour later, I'm skipping out of the store, with Orochimaru-san trailing behind, an oddly blank expression on his face. That's his way of being surprised and kind of shocked in public, I'm pretty sure. He just kind of puts up a mask while he tries to mentally digest everything.
In this case, I think his shock was at the amount of money Okaa-san and Otou-san entrusted me with. And how well I haggled down the price of the child-backpack.
Hey, I've had practice. You'd be pretty surprised at how much people are willing to indulge cute kids if said cute kid talks to them. And Shisui's taught me a lot of both socially-acceptable and not-really-socially-acceptable things when I go to play with him. What, it's not like we can spend all of our time in the forest.
And I'll… leave it at that. Hey, I need some plausible deniability if anything goes wrong.
Though, to be honest, Orochimaru-san's blank expression might be because of the fact that the backpack is a hideous mottled-orange-and-yellow-and-pink pattern. There was a mistake in the order, apparently. However, the structure was strong, and when I tested it out, it was remarkably comfortable… it's just a hideous color. And way too colorful for most shinobi parents. But for me… the fact that I got it for less than half of the retail price was enough.
Besides, I don't want to be mistaken for a backpack.
I run home, clinging onto the bag and cackling.
...that mood doesn't last. It was… like a break in the cloud-cover on an overcast day. Small, and brief.
When we return home… I go upstairs to snip off the labels. When I come downstairs to ask him to help me wash it, I find him sitting at the table with two cups of tea and a letter, face blank.
"Makoto-kun. I have… bad news."
My stomach drops, and I silently pull out a chair and accept a cup of tea.
Orochimaru-san sighs. "But first, I believe you deserve to know what has been going on. I will be frank with you. The Raikage gave an ultimatum after the death of the ambassador— the head of the killer, the head of the Hyūga clan head for the sins committed by member of his clan, or war." He pauses, as if to let the horror sink in. "Konoha isn't ready for war."
I feel as if every ounce of life from earlier just deserted me.
"Why?" I ask blankly. "Why… why would he do something like that? And then… does it mean… I started a war?" I grip the cup tighter, and my vision blurs.
But then a thought strikes me and my head shoots up. "Wait, they didn't… kill Neji, or something like that… right?" I ask, horror-struck.
"Of course not." Orochimaru-san scoffs. "However… Kumo has been after Konoha's bloodline limits for quite some time. They desperately want the Byakugan."
My heart feels as if it's lodged itself in my throat. No. No… no, no, no… please no.
I swallow around the lump in my throat. "So…"
Orochimaru-san doesn't look at me as he slides the envelope over. "...here. We should get you fitted for some new clothes. I'm not sure how civilians do this, but shinobi usually… well, I'll let you choose."
I accept the card, pushing aside the feeling that something has gone really wrong. It's a stark, blank, bone-white.
I open it.
For a moment, I don't register the words. Then, I wonder if I read it wrong. But… by the fourth run-through, there is no doubt. Not with the carefully-blank expression on Orochimaru-san's face.
Kobayashi Makoto
is invited to the funeral of
HYŪGA HIZASHI
on the first of Kaminazuki.
Kaminazuki… Jūgatsu. The tenth month. October. That's… in a matter of days, but I'm not focused on that.
Funeral. Hyūga Hizashi. He's… dead?
No… no, nonono. He can't be. I remember how he was during the Tsukimi festivities. He'd helped me scoop up that one white goldfish with the golden-yellow splotches during that one game of kingyo-sukui. He'd helped me bring it home, and promised to help me name it. It's still swimming on my desk upstairs, in that bowl. Hitomi-sama had brought it over. Now… now what?
And on that day we went fishing, he was laughing with Neji and I as he swung us around on the road, and he let me chase him after he ruffled my hair and stole my hat. Then there was Neji's birthday, when he'd help Shino and I organize everything.
I don't know how to react. It's hard to believe. Hizashi, dead?
When my vision finally returns to normal, I register a hand on my shoulder. I follow the arm to the shoulder to… Orochimaru-san. I blink blankly, eyes wet.
"Death for the good of the village is always a possibility for shinobi," Orochimaru-san says softly. "And even for civilians… all humans die. No one is immortal. Not yet."
My nose stings. I blink again, and my vision blurs. I look down, trying desperately not to cry. I swallow against this hard knot in my throat.
But the hand on my shoulder move to my back and pulls me forward. I stumble, but another hand copies the other one and pulls my head into a blue-clothed shoulder. I shift, but a voice interrupts me.
"It's alright to cry, Makoto," Orochimaru-san murmurs.
It's as if a dam breaks. Everything, all of the pain, all of the stress, all of the worry that I thought I'd overcome… it all floods back. I hug Orochimaru-san back, soaking his shirt with silent tears.
I… I shouldn't. But just for an instant… I'll cry. I'll let myself cry.
A funeral for Hizashi-san was held in the afternoon. Despite the sunny day, I was shivering in my new black funeral clothes from the biting wind. Standing next to Hiashi-sama, I held a white chrysanthemum in my hand. When the time came, I followed him to leave the chrysanthemum in a pile in from of a picture of a smiling Hizashi-san.
White chrysanthemums are quite sad, sometimes, you know? They're pretty up close, and you can see lots of subtle colors in them… but from far away, when they're paired with black… they just seem… blank. Lifeless. Colorless. Empty. They don't fit. Hizashi-san wasn't blank, or lifeless, or colorless. But… I don't know what flowers he likes. Liked. I never asked.
Do people ask others what flowers they want on their graves? I don't know. I don't think they do. But… now, I wish I knew. When I tried to find something… everything seemed so… so impersonal.
I wish… I wish I'd known him better. Instead, all I could do was to stand and stare at the ground with wet eyes and dry cheeks. I felt a bit like one of the white chrysanthemums, myself.
Hinata wasn't there, and I couldn't bring myself to feel sorry for her. I know it's not her fault, but… if we hadn't killed the Kumo-nin… no. Don't think that way.
I saw Neji there. Neji… no, Neji-san now… he looked sad. He felt sad. We stood next to each other. After… everything ended… I tried to talk to him. I was worried. I hadn't seen him since… since we returned.
...It didn't go well.
I still remember everything that happened. The emotions…
I might be easier if I just explain.
It's after the service, and everyone lingers around as if they're too scared to leave. Neji had run into the forest, and I'd followed after him.
He stops in a clearing, and I manage to catch up. I stand there, awkwardly for a moment, before trying to move closer. "I… I'm sorry," I murmur ineffectively. That's what you're supposed to say, right? I'm not sure what to do, but… "Do… do you want a hug?"
"Go away," he bites out, before fixing me with a glare when I don't. "I said, go away!" He turns away, eyes glistening again, and the ache of sadness in his chakra… it hurts. I just stand there. I… I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say… I would give him a hug, but… I already tried, and he doesn't want one. I reach out again, trying to offer comfort, but Neji slaps my hand aside and I wince at the sting. "Go away," he growls again, through tears. It's his next words, though, that… impact me the most. "Otou-san died… he died because of you."
Wait, what? I stare, wide-eyed, even more terrified. Neji… he isn't just sad right now.
"Because of you... and Hinata, and… and the Main House! If he hadn't been… by his own brother… if you hadn't taken anything… if you hadn't been so stupid… if Hinata-sama hadn't…" he sinks down onto his knees, sobbing through gritted teeth. I shiver as I feel his sadness turn… turn to anger. It's almost like when you eat something… and it has that aftertaste? Or when you add something to a solution and it slowly turns a different color… it's as if the bluish cloud of sadness darkened abruptly, and slowly became more intense…
"It's all your fault." His words… they're all of my darker thoughts, verbalized. "Why did you have to take anything? We would have been fine!"
He lets out a tortured sob. "I hate you." Wait, what? He said it so quietly… I crouch down. "...I hate you. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I HATE YOU!" he screams, standing up and spinning away. His chakra darkens, and if I had to give it a color… I would say that it's turning this really dark, brownish purple… it's scary. It's really scary. I'm scared for Neji…
"I wish… I wish we were never friends," he sobs quietly.
The statement cuts through me like a knife. The term, 'I hate you…' … that term often slips out, especially among younger children. It's usually more of an expression than anything. But… Neji wishes that we were never friends?
Tears well up in my eyes.
No. No, Neji, please… you're… you're one of my best friends. You and Shino and Shisui and Itachi… I only have so many. What… what did I do?
Oh, wait… he just said that, didn't he? What did I do? It's obvious. I…
My eyes well with tears, and my nose stings, and… no, Neji. Please… I can't… I don't want to lose another friend! Please…
"Please," I whisper. "Please… don't say that. You… you can't mean it, can you?" Even his statement earlier, that he hated me… I've heard that before, from little brothers when they were crying, but… 'I wish we were never friends?' No. Please, Neji…
Neji ignores me, even as his emotions seem to consolidate and his tears slow down. "It's… it's all the Main House's fault… and your fault," he murmurs quietly, as though realizing a truth. "You're the ones responsible… If it hadn't been for you and what you did, Otou-san might have… Otou-san could've…. no, Otou-san would have lived! Otou-san would still be here right now!"
The silence following that statement hangs in the air like a tangible thing. I… I can't deny that, can I? If I had been stronger… if we'd all be stronger. If I'd been smarter. If I'd known more. If I'd tried to learn more."
I sit down harshly, staring at Neji, who gazes at me accusingly. Then, as if he found something he had been expecting but hoping not to find, his face crumples.
"I wish… I wish we'd never become friends!" he screams, "I wish I'd never helped you that day!"
'I wish… I had never helped you. He… he doesn't mean that, surely?' I think wildly. 'No…' A memory flashes into my mind, of how we'd first met. It had been during hanami… and Neji had caught me when I had fallen. We'd… we'd eaten together, laughed together, played together… and he's leaving? It… surely, it can't be true?
Neji stands up shakily, running the back of his sleeve over his eyes. "I wish that I never wasted my time on you! I wish… I wish that you never existed!" he screams. "I wish you'd just DIE!"
I stare, blankly, barely reacting even when he runs off, still crying.
Does he…
I guess… this means the end? Of our friendship, that is…
Surely he can't mean it, but… 'I wish you'd just die.' How do you say that when you don't mean it? Does… does Neji really mean that he wished I would die?
As if a dam breaks, I begin sobbing in earnest. I pull myself onto my feet, before stumbling away from the grove of trees… which I now recognize as the same one where Neji and I had met and picnicked, where we'd played, where he'd first met Shino. Our friendship had started there… it seems so cruel that it's also where it ended.
I stumble through trees, blurry-eyed, as I choke back tears. Neji… Neji… of course. I've lost another friend. That… that happens so often. I'd hoped… when I'd dreamed of living a different life Before, one of my biggest reason… I'd wanted friends. Friends that played with me, friends that knew me… friends that I might have dared to call, 'family.' I'd always seen this world as a place where close bonds were formed, where friends stayed.
But now… it's just like other worlds, isn't it? People change, and friendships fade. Especially for me.
When I'd woken up as a newborn infant here, in Konoha… I'd hoped so badly that I could make friends, and keep them. But, now… 'Was it a vain hope?' I wonder, tears rolling down my cheeks as I stare sightlessly at the sky.
It hurts, losing a friend.
It hurts even more, having your hopes torn and crushed.
It hurts the most, believing yourself to be a fool to have those hopes in the first place.
By the wind storm's blast
From Mimuro's mountain slopes
Maples leaves are torn,
Which turn Tatsuta River
Into a rich brocade.
— Noin
あらし吹く
三室の山の
もみぢ葉は
龍田の川の
にしきなりけり
— 能因法師
Arashi fuku
Mimuro no yama no
Momijiba wa
Tatsuta no kawa no
Nishiki nari keri
— Noin Hoshi
Author's Note: ...
...
...
So... Merry Christmas? Sorry?
But yeah, that's a depressing ending. Don't worry, things get better. Here's the first "arc" done!
Yay! \(^_^)/
The next arc starts… well… really, really soon.
This OC is thanks to YokoChi150 (who commented as a guest)!
-ShadowAccio6181
