Priori Gay

After his disheartening experience with Rita, Harry decided that he would never be straight again. It was just too hard, considering the majority of the Hogwarts population had already come out of the closet.

Not wanting to be alone forever, Harry decided that he would need a new man, and pronto. There was Dumbledore, Albus. There was Snape, Severus. There was Lockhart, Gilderoy. There was Riddle, Tom. There was Voldemort, Lord. There was Moody, Mad-Eye. There was Flitwick, Fillius. There was Binns, Professor. There was Pomfrey, Madame. There was Hooch, Madame. There was Creevey, Dennis. There was Diggory, Amos. There was Weasley, Arthur, and Weasley, Molly, and so many others. Ultimately, Harry decided on Jordan, Lee.

That evening, conveniently, there was Quidditch practice, and Lee Jordan, conveniently, happened to be the captain of the Gryffindor squad! Harry was not actually on the team- he was the cheerleader.

"GO LEE!" Harry screeched at the top of his lungs. He clapped, delightedly.

Lee began to clap as well, but fell off of his Cleansweep 8.9. Harry, being the skilled runner that he was, caught him in mid air.

"Harry, you saved me! I love ya', mate!" Lee thanked him.

Harry, taking this literally, kissed Lee, who smacked him across the face, undoing the dopey grin that Harry had self-inflicted in the days that he was with Krum.

"HARRY, YOU PANSY!" Lee shouted, absolutely disgusted at Harry's actions. Harry began to sob, and ran from the Quidditch field.

"I'm resigning from my cheerleading post!" Harry yelled as he ran towards the locker rooms. He accidentally went into the girls' room, but didn't give a damn about what anyone's father thought. Already in the bathroom, preening his eyebrows, was Marcus Flint.

"Hello, Harry," said the Slytherin in a falsetto voice.

"Hey, Marcus," said Harry, unmoved. He didn't get surprised anymore when he met other gay men- there were just so many these days!

"So, Harry, I was thinking, wouldyouliketogotohogsmeadewithme?" Marcus asked, flushing.

"Sorry, didn't catch that…" said Harry. But he had heard every word, and oh no, he didn't likey!

"I was wondering… If you'd like, to go, to… Hogsmeade… With me," repeated Marcus, grinning shyly.

"NO," said Harry, running from the room, sobbing.

"Harry, wait!" cried Marcus, also sobbing, "Just give me a chance!"

"I don't want to," said Harry, not even playing hard to get this time. He left Marcus in despair, going off to find a new boyfriend.