Pansy Parkinson
AN: Hey guys, I just got some inspiration for a chapter completely based on Pansy, well see the thing is the inspiration for this chapter came to me while I was thinking about a good friend, see he has a problem, he cuts and he is only 14. I love him to bits but he needs to stop, so while I was thinking about his struggle I realized there was more to Pansy's struggle than what I put in the last chapter so this is all about Pansy, her problems are well let's just say increasing. I hope you like it, R&R please!
Pansy got up extra early the next day, she hadn't really slept in the first place. She was so worried about what she had said to Hermione. She paced back and forth in her room, she couldn't take being cooped up any longer. She felt like screaming but she couldn't find her voice. She wanted to cry but a Parkinson never cries, she cried only once in her life. She never cried as a baby, she didn't cry when she was hurt or anything like that. The only time Pansy Parkinson had ever cried was when her parents told her that they were leaving the country and that she couldn't come with them because they never loved her. Of course Pansy knew they never loved her but it still hurt to hear them say it, she told Draco about what had happened, she sobbed and sobbed until she couldn't cry any longer, she decided that was the first and the last time she would ever cry. When she couldn't take the pain of hurting others, being abandoned and the thought that the one person she had here that she loved hated her all became way too much for her she just tore into herself. She couldn't look at herself anymore. She brushed her hair in the dark, she never wore makeup anymore, she brushed her teeth in a bathroom without a mirror and when she got dressed she would find something, anything that would hide her from herself. She wanted to talk to Draco but she couldn't, what if he pushed her away? She couldn't bear losing him and Blaise, the only two people who really loved her.
Eventually Pansy headed down the corridor for an early breakfast in the mess hall. She thought no one would be awake at that hour but she was severely mistaken. The one person she wanted to see but didn't at the same time was sitting at a table reading a book. She ran over to him and almost slapped him, then she yelled at him. Saying, "Blaise Zabini what are you doing here? I thought I told you before you left for Italy if I ever saw your face here I'd tear you to shreds!"
"Pansy calm down, and if you are going to tear me apart why haven't you done so yet?"
"Be-because I love you, you moronic, egotistical, self-centered, high society prick!"
"Sit down Pansy, please." She couldn't refuse his big brown puppy dog eyes, as soon as she sat down he enveloped her into a hug and kissed her forehead. "Pansy I'm here because it was this or die, my parents they were killed in a car accident, my sister and I survived barely. We made our way back to the little house we were staying at, we packed up all our resources and I sent my sister out of Italy. All I kept were my clothes and these books. Then I waited, I knew they were coming so I didn't try to evade them because I knew my efforts would be fruitless. When they gave me the ultimatum of die there or come here I thought if I'm going to die sometime I might as well see you before it happens." Blaise pulled Pansy into another hug when Draco strolled in.
"Blaise Zabini just the man I wanted to see! Pansy are you happy that you've got your boyfriend back?"
"Draco Malfoy I would've sworn Mr. Dark Lord would've wanted you up top, skip all the little kid nonsense that is going on down here. But hey you win some you lose some, looks like I owe my dead mother twenty galleons."
"Draco, you're, you're talking to me?" Pansy said sheepishly.
"Of course I'm talking to you Pans, you're my best friend, sure I was ignoring you for the past couple of days but that was just because I needed to collect myself, I needed to find a way to cope with what I've been doing, how do you deal with it?"
"I'll talk to you about that later ok Draco? Tonight we'll talk after dinner, I'm going to need to help Blaise get situated after the room, he probably won't take it too well."
"I know I'm new here but what is the room?" Blaise asked embarrassedly
Pansy spoke up first, "It's the whole reason we're here."
"Yeah we attack muggle-borns with muggle weaponry"
"The room changes terrain every day, we're in there for one hour every single day and we get to work with new weapons almost every time, there are very few repeats. Also you're new so you choose your first victim, any muggleborn here you get your pick of the lot. We aim to injure, killing or attacking after time has been called can result in many punishments from simple reprimanding to death. Oh and every muggleborn is somehow connected to Potter." A new voice explained. Everyone turned to see Theo Nott standing in the doorway.
"Theo! Good to see you man! It's been too long, how've you been since graduation, how long ago was that now? My oh my it is already July! Time flies right?"
"I don't have time for your idioms, and is it July? I haven't seen the sun in so long I'm convinced they've turned us nocturnal." Theo said with a chuckle while outstretching his hand to Blaise, who took it and shook it, Blaise pulled Theo into a hug and they both fell apart laughing.
Pansy loved seeing Blaise this happy, it reminds her that no one is evil, excepting Voldemort perhaps. That there is still good in the world even when it seems most dark because stars need darkness to shine. She felt so cheesy thinking that. But it was moments like these that she forgot where she was and what she'd done and how she felt about life and just really truly lived. Moments like these reminded her why she was still alive. But oh dear tonight after the room she'd probably have to talk Blaise off the metaphorical cliff and then explaining her problem to Draco, she thought she'd never tell anyone, she definitely wouldn't tell Blaise, she didn't want him to see her as broken. No one wants something broken, definitely not a broken girlfriend. But Draco could help, he always did before⦠right?
