Yayness! My report is done! Now if I can just get my book published….

Anyway I'm back and ready to update. My dbz is coming on fantabulously! I think cowboy bebop is to. I think I will also do a Christmas special as a side story so keep an eye out for that fans. Well cowboys and cowgirls who should do the disclaimer today? How about……my desktop Animate? Go for it Links.

Links: daughteralucard does not own cowboy bebop or any liquor or any of the songs sung or mentioned in this chapter.

Me: yay on with the show (sweatdrops as Links tears up my windows page) --;

Chapter 9 I think

Teresa and Jet hastily got up and put there clothes back on. They both peeked out the door to make sure no one was in the hallway. When the cost was clear they both shuffled out and Teresa quickly brushed her hair and put the hairbrush back in her purse.

Jet went into the kitchen to start up on dinner. Of course the first person he ran into was Jacob who was sitting at the table depressed. "What's up Jacob?"

"I don't think I love my wife anymore. I can't satisfy her, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if she were sleeping with someone else, I have no interest in the sexual adventures she wants. I have no interest in traveling anywhere with her. I'm loosing her! On top of that I just made myself look like a total ass to my son."

"Woah, slow down there, cowboy. Just relax. Here, a got a worm with your name on it," said Jet holding up a bottle of tequila. Jet felt a little bad for sleeping with his wife but that didn't mean he couldn't have a good time with the man. Besides, he could really use it! The man took the bottle reluctantly and took a swig. He ended up choking on it, Jet just chuckled, and put the bottle down teary eyed. Jet also took a swig of it, but, being the experienced drinker, it didn't bother him much.

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Teresa walked down the hall and met up with Faye who looked a little unhappy about something. The truth was, she and Spike were both bummed out about how the divorce would screw with 'their' inheritance.

"Well," said Faye, "you look pretty unhappy to. How about you and me go out and have a night on the town?"

Teresa smiled. Maybe some time away was a good idea. She nodded and the two girls rushed to a room to dress in something fun.

Faye put on a pair of black satin high heel boots, black denim pants, a red spaghetti strap, with a black fish net over it.

Teresa wore a pair of black leather high heels, black satin pants, a sky blue sleeveless shirt, and a long black jacket that went down to her ankles with feathering along the end of the sleeves and around the neck of it.

Dressed to kill and both really stressed, the girls planned to hit a few local bars.

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Spike was pissed, really pissed, the kind of pissed that makes infuriated look like a small temper. The kind of pissed that brings fear to those who look at him. The kind of pissed….well…you get the idea.

He sat in a bar alone with no one near him, because, remember, he is that kind of pissed. He was working on his second bottle of Jack and about ready for his third. The bar tender was the only one who dare go near him, and that's because the bar tender knew Spike pretty well.

"So what happened this time," asked the bar tender.

"Nothing to out of the ordinary Alex. Just my parents, again," said Spike.

"What is going on with old Jacob and Teresa now?"

"They are getting a devorce," he snarled.

"Really?" The bartender was shocked and a little sad to here it.

"Yea because my dad is such a fuck up and my mom is practically a whore now!"

"Who did she sleep with?!"

"MY GODDANMED PARTENER!"

"Shit, Spike, that's not good."

"Yea I know."

"How awkward would that be to have your partner as your stepdad?"

"Good show Sherlock," said Spike in a fake English accent.

"Elementary Watson," replied Alex in a fake snobbish accent. "So what are you going to do?"

"Not much, just sit here and get drunk."

"Sounds like a good idea to me," he said.

"God, you know Faye Valentine?"

"Yea, she had a bounty on her about a year ago now didn't she?"

"Well, she is my other 'partner' and my parents assumed she and I were a thing."

"Are you?"

"HELL NO!'

"Haha well I'm just asking. You two wouldn't look to bad together."

"Well you know radical Edward?"

"He another partner of yours to?"

"She is yes."

"SHE! NO SHIT!"

"Yea that was my reaction."

"So what about her? I heard she was a six foot basketball player, who was a hippy, an alien, and about 100 years old."

"Try an awkward 13 year old girl about 5 ft tall, and talks a funny way, with some pretty impressive computer skills."

"No kidding."

"Yea she likes to sing to. It's not to bad, at least she isn't horrible about it."

"That is good."

"Yea well, mom and dad thinks she is Faye and my kid. They also think we are getting married."

"Why would you make them think something like that?"

"Welllll," said the now drunks Spike, "you shee, we, we, we were promished a inheritance senses we hads a baby togeth-th-er."

"I see," said Alex, "so you and Faye decided to play along for the money. How about Ed, how does she feel about it?"

"She, she, she is h-h-having the time of her fucking life man! She dances around singing about 'Mama Faye and Papa Spike, and Granny T and Grampy J' and even calls us that! You wanna think what I know?"

"What," chuckled Alex.

"Eddy likes the idea of a family that's what I think of knowing!"

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Jet and Jacob cracked up laughing. "You know," said a very drunk Jacob, "I wouldn't be surprised if my wife has cheated on me."

"Yea I know," laughed Jet, "You keep overing it saying and saying."

"What?"

Jet just gave out another laugh. "Exactically my friend exactically!"

"If my wife ever offers you you should take it my friend."

"Why is that Jaky boy?"

"Because she is one good fuck!"

"Hahaha I know already," said Jet.

"Really? When did you find this out?"

"An hour ago!" Jacob stared at him for a moment in disbeliefe.

"Ahahahaha no shit!?" he yelled delightfully.

"God, how could you not love a woman like that?"

"Cause she acts like a dipshit!"

"That's no lie. I can't imagine how she would act if she died her hair blond."

"I can!" They both burst out in another fit of laughter. "Why did you sleep with my wife anyhow?"

"Because she was angry at you, desperate, and turned on by my sensitivity."

"Yer full of shit Jet. She slept with you to get to me."

"Yea I know!" With another fit of laughs and the fourth open bottle, the two were ready for a good time with a woman.

"I say we go out and find a couple pretty whores," said Jet.

"Why bother when we have my wife," said Jacob. By now the two were laughing so hard they couldn't even breathe and there sides were hurting.

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"Okay," said Faye, "I'll count out the alphabet and every time one of us comes to a letter that is the first name of a guy we have been with that person takes a shot." Faye and Teresa were plastered, there is no other word for it, they were so drunk, Faye thought you could count letters. She began singing the ABC song very wrong.

"A" nothing

"C" Teresa took a drink

"Z" Faye took a drink

"G" nothing

"X" nothing

"V" both took a swig

"B" nothing

"J" both took a swig

"D" Teresa takes a swig

"E" both take a drink

"I forgot the rest of the alphabet," said Faye. The two women cracked up laughing.

"I gotta tell ya this Faye," said Teresa, "the first guy I ever fucked was my chuffer Carl. I remember I was 15 and he was 18." Faye started to laugh.

"I don't remember my first," she said. Teresa giggled. "Actually I don't remember much of anything in my past." Faye joined Teresa's giggle fit. "But I gotta be honest with you. Me and Spike aren't a thing. I never even had any kids." Teresa burst out laughing.

"I know," she said, "I may act like a complete idiot but I know lovers when I see them and you and Spike are NOT lovers."

"Why did you put me through all that wedding stuff then?"

"Because I wanted to fuck around with you." Both women fell off there bar stools and on the ground laughing. "You wanna know a dirty little secret?"

"Yesh I do capiton," said Faye in a French accent.

"An hour ago or so I fucked Jet and it was good," said Teresa in a seductive voice.

"Nothing turns me on like this bounty hunting thing."

"For someone who has never done it before your pretty good at it. Well other then having your ass handed to you almost," said Faye.

"Your such a whore," said Faye after she could talk behind her laughs

"You're a whore and a liar. But so am I," said Teresa.

"Couldn't agree more!"

Both women where now hugging each other singing.

Well I'm not paralyzed
But, I seem to be struck by you
I want to make you move
Because you're standing still
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You'll probably move right through
Me on my way to you

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Spike was now walking down the street drunk when he saw his mother and Faye singing and dancing ontop of the bar. He walked in to find out what the two obviously drunk women were doing.

Which one, which one of you is into me?
Which one, which one of me is into you?
We're both schizophrenic I fear
See how many voices you hear
Which one, which one of you is into me?
Which one, which one of me is into you?
We are schizophrenic, don't stop
No, not till I fuck this all up

NICE TO FUCKING MEET YOU
And you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you

And this is me, and me, and me, and me,
and me, and me, and me, and me, and me

Bitch, we got a problem

Spike watched the two women and quickly sobered up. He couldn't decide what to do about it. On one hand he could leave the two here in their drunk state and claim he never saw them. On the other he could be responsible and take them home.

He wade his pros and cons and decided to be responsible and take them home. He went up to them and grabbed their wrists just as they were into there next song.

Father's a name you haven't earned yet
You're just a child with a temper
Haven't you heard "Don't hit a lady"?
Kickin' your ass would be a pleasure

He's drunk again, it's time to fight
Same old shit, just on a different night
She grabs the gun, she's had enough
Tonight she'll find out how fucking
Tough is this man
Pulls the trigger as fast as she can
Never Again

…………………………………………………………………………………………

Jacob and Jet were already passed out in the livingroom. Jet was sprawled across the table and Jacob was lying across the couch. Spike lead the two women to beds. He walked down the hall to see Ed playing that chess game she got some time ago.

Spike smiled at the memory, she hand found out who the Chess Master was and lost to him, he died a happy old hippy who got a worthy aponent before he died.

"Ed," he said, "you should get some sleep. Tomorrow my mom and dad go home." Ed looked up from her game and smiled and hoped into her bed. Spike was just thankful those two drunk men didn't do anything to Ed they would regret. Ed was a smart girl, she knew how to avoid that and part of it was to avoid the drunk.

Spike walked into his room and passed out.

………………………………………………………………………………………………….

The next morning everyone but Ed felt miserable. No one drank any water before they fell asleep so everyone was suffering hangovers. Teresa and Jacob sat at the table quietly.

"Teresa," said Jacob, "Jet told me about what happened yesterday." Teresa was silent for a long moment.

"Are you mad?"

"No," he said quietly, "sadly, I don't feel bad about it at all." Teresa looked down.

"I don't either," she said.

"I think we are really over Teresa," said Jacob.

"I know," she said, "we have been over for a long time. I love you Jacob but you don't love me back, do you?"

"No," he said simply. They sat in silence for a long time. "So what are you going to do? Stay here?"

"No," she said, "I don't want to intrude on Spikes new life. I think I like this bounty gig." Jacob chuckled.

"Now I know where he gets it. Teresa, if you ever need anything from me, just ask and I will be more then happy to give it to you."

Teresa looked up at him teary eyed. "I guess it is a good thing though," she said, "we were really unhappy."

"Yea that and it helps that Ed isn't really Spike and Faye's. They aren't even together." Teresa smiled.

"Yea," she said, "I know. I have known about it. I just thought it would be fun to play along."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jacob wasn't hurt nor did he sound hurt. He was just curious.

"Why didn't you tell me you didn't love me?" Teresa smiled at her soon to be ex husband. He smiled back.

"Well," he said, "I think we should go before everyone has the strength to get out of bed. I don't really want a goodbye party."

"Yea, me neither." They both walked out and almost ran into Spike. He looked at the two with a blank expression. "We are going now," she told her son, "we are getting a devorce to but I think it is the best thing to do."

"Yea," said Spike sadly, "I kind of fingured when I was listening in."

"You were eavesdropping," asked Jacob.

"No I just so happen to be on the other side of the door with this shot glass to my ear up against the door. You just so happen to be talking the ten minutes I was standing there."

Jacob just smiled and walked passed his son. He gave him a rough pat on the back. Teresa hugged him for what could be the last time and told him to tell everyone they had fun and they said goodbye.

"Especially Ed," she said, "It was fun pretending I had a granddaughter." She and Jacob board their ship that had arrived back and left. Spike waved them goodbye.

As the hatch closed he couldn't help but feel a sense of remorse but a the same time relief. What an odd couple they were.

THE END

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. yes this is it! The End! I might make a sequal. Jacob probably wouldn't be in it but I haven't decided yet. Hope everyone enjoyed.