HEEYYYY! To all my loyal fans who stuck with me during this hard time of no chapter I want to sayyyyy thank you! My computer had a virus and crashed then we took it to the place to get fixed and it took a month and when we got it back Microsoft word wouldn't install but I got it to work!!!!!!!!!! YAY! Here is an EXTRA long chapter for all you lovely people!

Oh and btw for one comment I got that was bitchy beyond belief I would like to say to that person if you hate my story don't read it. Oh yea Fuck you!

" Uh Alice why are you wearing last season prada shoes?....." Jacob said. This is not going to be good.

~0~

"Excuse me?" Alice said with a hint of bitch lined in her words.

"Excuse yourself honey, those shoes are soooo last season and if you can't keep up with Prada than don't try wearing it." Jacob stated pissed from the tone of Alice's words.

"Run!" I yelled to Jacob as Alice started to unstrap her heels. This is NOT going to be good.

"You little…tall, annoying, asshole! Get your ass back over here and explain!" Alice screamed as Jacob ran out the door. He came strutting back in to explain to Alice.

"Well, if you are a member of the Prada lovers forever club (AN: NOT REAL!)

You get notice of all the new shoes coming out and that the news ones came out yesterday, and the one's your wearing are now are now worth less than Bella's shoes." He said lisp in all of it's glory.

"Hey, these are cute!" I said looking down at my black converse. I love converse but apparently my taste in shoes sucks.

"How do I get into this Prada club?" Alice said and her and Jacob started to ramble on and on about shoes.

"Bella, Bella, BELLA!" Alice screamed in my face. I guess I zoned out for a minute. "We are going to the mall I have a shoe emergency, lets go!" she said so fast I barely caught it.

"Ok let me put on my shoes their upstairs, I'll go get them" I said getting up.

"THERE IS NO TIME FOR THAT I'LL BUY YOU NEW SHOES ONCE WE GET THERE!" Alice yelled throwing me over her shoulder and running to her car. Damn, that pixie is strong!

~0~

'Do you like your new shoes Bella?" Alice asked while staring at her new Prada shoes.

"Hell yea! THANK YOU SO MUCH ALICE." I yelled for her benefit. I looked down to my new knee high black converse.

"Alice do you want to…Wait I have a text." I said looking at my phone. It's from Edward. Hmmm.

Bella- I'm truly sorry for saying this but this isn't going to work out. My old girlfriend Tanya, we are getting back together. Please Bella don't be mad at me. From Edward P.S. I hope we can still be friends.

I stared at the text not believing it. *beep, beep* another text.

Hello Bella this is Tanya I just wanted to say keep away from Edward, he's mine now. You were what boyfriend and girlfriend for 2, 3 hrs? Me and Eddie boy we together for 3years. We ended i t when he moved to forks. But looky-looky I'm back and I want to let you in on a little secret I'm not going anywhere. Oh and another thing, we were each other's firsts. Just thought you should know. I can back yesterday, and me and Edward we having so fun before you and your little friend stopped by. Oh there's Edward calling me from his room got to go! Hope you die bitch! Love- Tanya

My heart felt like it was ripping from the inside out. I need to get to my room, my dresser, need to, need to.

"Bella where are you going?!?" Alice screamed after watching me run out the door. "Bella I DROVE HERE!" Alice screamed while following me. Fuck. Ok Bella you can do this. Think happy. Kittens, Edward, Puppies, Tanya, Ice cream, and Charlie. And them doing it on Edward's bed where I've been on. EWW! Ok Bella put on happy mask before Alice gets here… This is no use.

"Alice can you take me home." I said my voice low so it doesn't crack.

"Yea sure, do you want to talk about it?" She looked at me expectantly.

I just shook my head no not being able to talk with my throat swollen from being about to cry. *Ring, ring. Ring* My phone. Can I talk right now? Luckily Alice picked it up and put it on speaker.

"Hi, is this Isabella Swan?" A voice on the other end said sorrow line in every word.

"Yes it is, is there a problem?" Alice said speaking for me. She looked really worried. I bet I did too.

"Your father Charlie was in an accident." Oh no. "He had a heart attack. I'm sorry but he didn't make it. I'm sorry again. There is going to be a memorial service on next Thursday at……" He was still talking but I could hear after that. My tears sliding down my cheek at a constant rate.

"Bella do you want me to stay with you?" Alice asked a tear escaping out of the conor of her eye.

"I want to be alone." I whispered. She nodded let me out of the car, and with one more pain stricken glance drove away.

I walk into the house. It's quiet. Never to hear Charlie's 'hey bells' ever again. Or 'I got more fish.' I laughed after thinking that. It was a shaky tearful laugh. I walked into my room needing comfort. I stared with silent tears sliding down my cheek. How could this be happening? I walk over to my dresser and dig through to the bottom. I pull out my old friend. The sliver blade shining like it never has. To end my life. How would it effect others. Not much. No one will miss me. I lower the knife towards my wrist the edges of the knife waiting to turn red, to end my life. I see all of my past scars all strewn across my arms and wrists like a million skin colored hairs covering my arms. I haven't cut in so long. Never a need to. My life finally turning happy, I never have good luck, and I just pulled Charlie down with me. I lower the blade starting at my elbow making a clean straight line going across. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 cuts so far each starting to have the crimson red pour out. Relaxing almost. Making you forget your worries. 10,11, 12. Almost to my wrist. Before I can make the final cut to end my misery I see a paper fall out of my dresser. It's from Charlie…