Chapter Nine: In peace, nothing so becomes a man

From: Ashley Williams (ashley. .sa)

To: John Shepard (*REDACTED*)

Subject: Hey there.

Shepard-

I'm sorry for what I said back on Horizon. When I lost you two years ago, it tore me up. I prayed for you every day. I read a lot of Tennyson, thinking about you, just like I did when my dad passed. And then you came back, and it was like my prayers were answered. But I'm not who I was then, and neither are you.

I don't know what's true anymore. Part of me can't believe it's really you. I keep going back to that night before Ilos, our night... I haven't let myself think about those memories in over a year.

I wouldn't have expected you to work for Cerberus, but I know why they sent you to Horizon. I saw how many people were lost there, and if anyone can stop the Collectors, you can. I can't go where you're going, but I can wish you luck.

They are sending me out with a new crew, new mission. The Alliance is going to do something. You made them act, and the least I can do is support you in the one way I can. I can't say much more than that - given the lack of security - but for now know there are people out here who believe you and are working to stop the Collectors as well. We may not be able to do everything you can, but we certainly are going to try and help.

Just stay alive out there... Skipper. I don't know what the future holds, but I can't lose you a second time.

-Ash

Death closes all: but something ere the end
Some work of noble note, may yet be done,
Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods.

I0I

Paperwork was the bane of every soldier and every grunt in the galaxy. Didn't matter your race, your allegiance, your beliefs: A minute spent doing paperwork was a minute wasted.

Instead of going right back to talk about this with Clark, Ashley had been waylaid by Councilor Anderson and Admiral Hackett, discussing her role and position upon the Tunisia as executive office to the green captain, one Mister Clark Kent. Part of her only believed that she was working on this because of her connection with Shepard, while the other part thought she got the job because she managed to convince Clark to come along. Whatever she attributed the new position to, she was being used, and given the paperwork, she didn't like it.

Regardless, she had new orders. She showed up, bright and surly, at 0750 at the designated elevator for her meeting with the STAR Labs crew at 0800, standard galactic time. She managed to get there on time, but without coffee or breakfast. The elevator was off the main stretch and too far from the Alliance barracks for her, though most of her lack of fucks could be attributed to waking up too late and missing chow.

Ashley tried to keep her glare to a minimum, staring at the floor as she entered the elevator. Her hopes of a quiet right to STAR Labs were dashed, as another pair of boots entered her line of vision.

"Good morning," the soft, but chipper voice said. Ashley tore her eyes from the floor to meet the slightly manic, but overly happy woman's eyes staring at her. "Aren't you excited?"

"About?" She wasn't sure who this woman was, or how to respond. Anderson said no one outside of the team was supposed to know what they were doing (with the excepting being Shepard if she could trust him).

The woman was about her height maybe an inch or two taller, but had a gymnast's body, lithe and nimble. She swayed slightly, her body buzzing with energy as her black pigtails bounced.

"The new mission." The woman's face quickly transformed from exceptionally excited to exceedingly worried. "Oh, I'm sorry. I should have introduced myself first. Dr. Harley Quinzel." She didn't wait for Ashley to respond, taking her hand and pumping it a few times in an over-excited shake. "Doctor W said I could go along. This is my first mission since he saved me."

"Your first mission?" Ashley asked. She struggled to follow the non-linear thoughts of the woman besides her. She nodded, her pigtails whipping around. Brown eyes met hers, shining brightly in the fluorescent glow.

"Yeah," she said, "I used to work for the Red Hood Gang, but we had a falling out." The happiness faded from her eyes and her face, but she quickly threw up a mask so obvious even Ashley caught it. "But enough of that. I read your file."

"Wait, who are you?" Ashley said as the elevator came to a stop. She wasn't allowed to carry her gun on the Citadel, otherwise she probably would have drawn it on the crazy woman here.

"She's the team's on-board psychiatrist and threat analyst." Dr. Wayne sat in front of the opening doors, glaring at the Quinzel. "And she's late." Instead of looking chagrined or embarrassed, as Ashley would have, Quinzel's smile only grew wider at the sight of the director.

"But Doctor W, I was escorting the nice Alliance lady," Dr. Quinzel said in a child's voice. What kind of show did she sign up for?

"But that doesn't excuse tardiness. And that means a punishment," Dr. Wayne spun in his chair and wheeled off. "I'm going to let Pamela know."

"No, it's supposed to happy fun night!" Dr. Quinzel ran after him. Ashley stood there for a moment, trying to figure out exactly what happened and all she could think of was that some elaborate sex game was just played out in front of her.

"You'll get used to them." Ashley turned to the voice, finding a young man barely out of his teens walked up beside her. His lean build rested against the white walls, but he didn't take his eyes off the bickering Drs. Quinzel and Wayne. "Dick Grayson, pilot."

"Operations Chief Ashley Williams, confused," she admitted, shaking the man's hand.

"Again, you'll get used to it." The man laughed, and if he wasn't at least ten years her junior, then she'd be asking him out for a drink at least. "Harley likes to play too much, so Bruce makes her take things a little more serious. Pam's the other way: too serious too often."

"Wait, he's with both of them?" Ashley asked. She found the whole thing incredulous.

"Oops, I probably shouldn't have said that." Dick didn't look sorry at all. Quite the opposite as he smiled wider. "But the tabloids cover his love life enough." Before he could say another word, the elevator behind them opened again. This time, Ashley let out a sigh of relief at the familiar sight.

Clark stepped off, smiling a boyish grin as he walked toward them. "Chief Williams, glad everything worked out with the Alliance?" He asked, easily catching up with long strides. Dick seemed to be of average height and Clark towered over the boy, let alone her.

"Yeah, all set." She said, returning his smile. "And I thought you were going to call me by my first name."

"Well…I didn't want to be presumptuous," he said, scratching the back of his neck.

"The Director of STAR Labs is sleeping with at least two of his employees, one of whom is riding along with us." She laughed at the red staining his cheeks. "I think calling me Ashley is okay."

"Okay, Ashley," he said, smirking even through the blush, "then you're okay with me leading this?"

"Can't do worse than most of my COs," she said. Dick's chuckle brought them out of their conversation.

"Oh, yeah, this is going to be great." Dick smile grew wider, his gaze moving between the two of them like they were tossing some ball around.

"And you are?" Clark held out his hand. The man immediately took control of things, intentional or not, and Ashley had to admit it was kind of hot.

"Dick," he said. He shook the offered hand, still smiling. "I'm your pilot. And Bruce let me watch the feed from your testing yesterday. This is going to be awesome."

"Okay," Clark said, drawing the word out. He appeared to be as confused about the excitement for the mission as she was. "Can you lead us to the meeting room?"

Despite the question, Clark seemed to easily give the direction, and Dick seemed almost eager to follow. Maybe he would be a good captain. Just have to teach him how to handle making the hard choices and the aftermath of those choices.

Soldiers, especially officers, received some training for the gruesome situations they faced. Training and debriefing help, and even then, most of soldiers were forced into therapy for being unable to deal with the situations they were placed in. She had seen her share of the elephant these last few years, but Clark barely reacted to the attack on Horizon.

"We good?" Ashley kept her voice low, walking behind Dick as he led them down the hallway. "

"Why wouldn't we?" Clark appeared just as confused as he was yesterday when she met him down at the Presidium Commons.

"How about from Horizon?" She asked. Now that the thought popped in her head, it wormed about, shadowing her as she tried to concentrate on the mission.

"No one was hurt too bad. I mean, I wish we could have saved more," he said. His steps slowed slightly, but with his long legs, she still had to scramble slightly to keep up. Being short had its disadvantages. "but…" His voice trailed off. Even with being as emotional retarded as she was, she caught the pain.

This was why they received the training: Soldiers had to make choices, had to decide who could be saved, and who couldn't. Sometimes they had days or hours, sometimes only seconds, but soldiers had to live with those choices. And had to live with the fact their decisions let someone die.

"You can't save everyone," she said. She stopped him with a hand on his arm. He looked surprised, like the concept was foreign to him. "You're no superman."

"But I am," he whispered. Ashley refused to admit it allowed, but he was right: He was a superman. There wasn't anyone who could have survived the attack Shepard described. She briefly wondered if he could leap over the pre-fab units. "And I have to."

"Then let's go make sure we can save everyone," she said. Clark had to drop the thoughts, at least for now. She didn't know what else to say to him. Despite the funk he was in, he wore armor not unlike Shepard. But Shepard hid his pain from everyone. Clark shared his with her.

Maybe they did need to have that drink.

"Yeah." Clark resumed walk, leaving Ashley standing there to rebound for the conversation. How did she always attract this type of men?

Dick was waiting by a doorway, far enough away to not listen in to the conversation, but close enough so they didn't get lost. Thoughtful kid, but if he worked for Wayne, then this 'being seen, not heard' spiel was routine for him. Still, Clark gave the kid a smile and a pat on the shoulder, affirmation of thanks that seemed to brighten up Dick's already happy face.

"Thank you Dick," Wayne was at the head of the table, going over another set of screens. He looked distracted, but Ashley figured the man observed everything happening around him, even if he didn't appear to be. It unsettled her a bit, but for now, he was certainly a better option than Cerberus. "Kent, Chief Williams. Are you ready?"

"Just waiting on the dock to send my stuff to," Ashley said. Clark had stepped behind her, pulling the chair out of her. She sat before she even noticed his actions.

On the other side of the table sat Quinzel and a middle-age man. Quinzel seemed to be trying to engage him in a conversation while the man humored her. Apparently, Dick was right. You do get used to it. Her behavior was normal enough for the regular staff to be used to it, so she could only hope she got used to the craziness here as well.

"Kent, glad you made it," the man said. He reached across the table to shake Clark's hand. "Chief Williams, heard a lot about you."

"By that he means he read the file the Alliance sent over," Dick added. Emerald eyes narrowed, but Dick was unfazed by it.

"Yes, but that's not what I meant," the man said. "John Stewart, former marine. Now, I run the weapons' testing and design section."

"You served?" Ashley asked. At least there would be another soldier here. She could handle soldiers.

"Yup, up 'til the Skyllian Blitz," he said, proudly. "Was on leave when they first attacked."

The Skyllian Blitz was one of the largest assaults on a human colony prior to Eden Prime. Elysium had been considered an alpine paradise, but had previously been attacked by pirates and mercs. It came to a head in 2176, when a group pirates, slavers and batarian warlords lanched an attack into Skyllian Verge. Elanos Haliat intended to use the attack as a way to gain control over the Terminus Systems' pirate bands, but unfortunately for him (fortunately for the Alliance) marines on leave rallied with civilians to hold out against the pirates until reinforcements arrived.

She had been on another planet, restricted to the ground forces and a grunt at the time. Being at Skyllian Blitz would have saved her family name, but she never would have gotten the chance. She never would have until, by chance, she met Shepard. And since then, slowly but surely, she was digging the mud out from around her name.

"You leave before or after Torfan?" Despite the triumph at Elysium, Torfan remained a dark spot in Alliance history. The devastation brought on by Alliance forces against the small moon overshadowed any good it would have done. So many forces on both sides were lost.

She had been lucky to still be in the mud with the Alliance when they arranged that foolish attack.

"After," Stewart said. He shook his head. "Followed so many bad decisions. But those damn batarians..." Shepard shared that view, most soldiers did, but Ashley couldn't bring herself to condemn an entire species. No matter how militaristic or domineering they were. She understood standing up for your own race, and she believed humans needed to protect their own. But attacking other races out of spite and anger?

"We won't be doing anything of that nature here," Clark said. "We're here to save lives, not take them."

"Some people need killing," Stewart said. Clark's face morphed into a glare, and Stewart tried to match it before the director interrupted Clark's attempt to continue the conversation.

"Maybe they do, but that's not why we're here," Wayne said. With a wave of his hand, his screen shifted to a galactic map, spanning the table. "We are here to discuss the recent signal STAR Labs analyzed.

"This signal originated from a system within Argos Rho cluster. The originating system is unknown at this moment, but we believe it to be from an uncharted planet." The cluster in question became the focus of the map, revolving so everyone could see it. "Current speculation is the signal is asari, however, we have found a base code unique to human language."

"So, you don't know who it is from?" Ashley asked. She watched a women walk in, a cloak dropping from around her as she took the seat on the other side of Clark. She held back at glare at the gall, but continued to pay attention to Wayne's response.

"No. Unfortunately, we have not been able to clearly sort it beyond identification into a basic typology. We have determined it to be an S.O.S of sorts, though saving from what we are unsure. We have identified fragments referencing a collector, but singular, not plural."

"Then why head there?" The woman spoke up. Goto. She recalled Wayne hiring the thief to assist on this mission. She wasn't sure she wanted the woman watching her back. At least Harley played for their side, Goto was just a hired gun, in this for only one reason. She understood mercs, but she couldn't trust them. Not when they just followed the money. Wayne picked her, so he must have some control over her. For now.

"Beyond the good will if it is an asari ship?" Wayne stared her down for a moment. "We are going to head there because beyond the current Cerberus mission on Haelstom - a planet in a system on the Far Rim - there have been no other sightings of the Collectors. So while this may be a shot in the dark, it is currently rated low-risk for the Alliance, allowing us to test this group." Ashley nodded, accepting Wayne's reasoning. They were untested and as much as she trusted Clark, she never fought with him and did not know how to react to him on the battlefield. She needed to know what all of them did. As a marine, she expected Stewart to be the easiest to work with, and Harley could be useful as a biotic, but Goto and Clark were anomalies. It may be best to treat Clark like a vanguard, only without most of the biotics. Smiling to herself, she began to look forward to their test run.

"Do we know if it is a trap or not? I've heard pirates hijacking signals to overtake ships." Clark stared at the map, physically seeming to weigh the cost with saving someone.

"No, we don't but as a low priority, low risk mission, this offers us the opportunity to test you in field conditions. Further, I've read all the reports Kent. There is no reason for you to be afraid of pirates of any type." Clark's leveled stare only heightened the sense Ashley felt of being left out of the loop. It happened with Shepard quite a few times, but she knew enough to not question it here at least. Maybe after, once they were on board, she planned to ask Clark about his thoughts on the subject. Until then, waiting remained her only option.

"Now," he waved his hand, changing the screen into a list of things or maybe it was an outline, "let's talk logistics." Ashley groaned as she leaned back in her seat. Clark chuckled besides her as he began to type away on the provided PADD at Wayne's explanation. At least someone would catch almost everything.

I0I

His eyes lost focus as he tried to review the report Miranda sent up to him. They left Haelstrom nearly six hours ago, making headway toward a quick stop on Pragia, a planet somewhere in the Nubian Expanse. He wasn't too sure of the exact location, but Jack provided to EDI, who gave it to Joker. Jack wanted to destroy the center that she said made her into the bitch she was today. That stole her childhood from her. Plant a big ass bomb in the middle of her cell and let the whole thing burn. Hell, after reading some of the files on the facility, he was tempted to do it himself. But Jack needed to put down some demons, a common theme amongst his crew it seemed.

Jacob mentioned a distress call that shouldn't exist from a man who should be dead, his father. Shepard said they would hit tackle that, but Pragia was on the way to Illuim and they would swing around the verse. As soon as he accepted that, Jacob's mood seemed to lift. A course of action was all the soldier seemed to need. With it plotted out, he relaxed and returned to upgrading and cleaning the weapons of the crew.

But at the moment, he was more concerned with the memo Miranda sent to him, about the Illusive Man's request. Or rather demanded.

The memo outlined a directive from the Illusive Man's intentions to utilize any data developed from the crew's efforts against the Collectors, including Mordin's work on a suppressant. While Shepard understood an organization confiscation of information, Cerberus' directive stipulated a clandestine approach to the collection. One Miranda pointed out to be an intrusion into the privacy of the crew members, and something she wished to speak with him about.

The report was sent to him nearly five hours ago, and he spent the time since reading it investigating everything the crew had accomplished since the start. And Cerberus had collected information from them, but from what he could tell, since Horizon, the information only partially represented the findings of the crew.

What game was Miranda playing? And was it on him or the Illusive Man?

"Commander, Operative Lawson is at your door." EDI's voice echoed through his cabin. Standing from his desk, he spun slightly and moved to let her in. Speak of the devil and she shall appear.

"Commander," she said, staring him straight in the eye at first before glancing down at the PADD in his hand. "I believe I owe you an explanation." He stepped aside, motioning toward the small seating area Cerberus added to the cabin.

"Yeah, you do." He placed the PADD on the table.

"I spoke with Tali before I came up," Miranda said. She was avoiding topic, or maybe getting to it in her own way. Her eyes stared at the collection of model ships he endeavored to complete.

His first therapy session after Akuze recommend mundane tasks to steady his hands and calm himself. After coming back to life and talking with Zaeed, he started it back up on the hobby. His hands steadied more than before Horizon, but he couldn't stop the rush of battle. At the Citadel, he sent Kelly to pick up copies of the Destiny Ascension, Sovereign and SSV Normandy. He was finished the Normandy SR-2, which had been left in his cabin but remained untouched until recently. The Destiny Ascension rested up on the wall next to it, and he had the parts to Sovereign laid out on the desk.

"I know," he said. Tali immediately contacted him about the meeting with Miranda, confused by the operative's request of mundane information for Cerberus. That conversation took nearly an hour of Shepard listening to Tali vent about confusing, irritating agents out of his five hour investigation.

"The information she provided will placate the Illusive Man," Miranda said, which she summarized in her report to him.

"Yes, it will," he said.

"But it will not compromise any relationship you may or may not have with Ms. Vas Neema, or with the quarians," Miranda continued.

"Tali was confused by that part, but I'm not," Shepard leaned back on the couch. He crossed his arms, smirking at the small sign of confusion on her face before it fell behind the mask.

"Of course you wouldn't be," Miranda said. Her brow furrowed a little as she glared at him. He couldn't hold back the smirk and let it bloom into a smile.

"I'm not confused because you understand that in order for this crew to work, we have to trust one another," he said. "And to trust one another, we can't be keeping secrets. Not about each other at least."

"You gave Jack the files, which she used to find the facility and we are heading there now," Miranda said. He nodded at her statement, not surprised at the accuracy of Miranda's observations. "You offered Jacob the chance to chase a signal that may have nothing to do with his father's disappearance, but are doing it anyway."

"He didn't mention you knew about his request," he said. Shepard was surprised at the blush that briefly filled her face before she drew it back behind her mask.

"I may have been searching for it to repay a favor."

"Must have been some favor."

"I have a long memory," she said. She relaxed slightly, her posture slackening ever so little as she leaned back into the chair. "I wanted to show you I understood the importance of the team."

"Show me? Or yourself?" Shepard asked. "You are the decisions you make, not the group you are a part of." Ashley and Kent seemed to spark this change. She didn't care before the Horizon mission, but the mission unfolded the same way previous ones did: The outcome of Kent being brought on board changed them all it seemed. He wasn't sure how much he liked it or not, but at the moment, the changes seemed to be easing tensions on the ship, certainly making his life easier.

She nodded, adding nothing to his statement about her behavior. "Do you remember our conversations about my sister?"

"Oriana? Of course." In a few candid conversations, Miranda spoke about her concerns about Oriana, another genetically modified individual, who happened to possess the same genetic code as Miranda but was several years younger. Miranda called Oriana her sister and stole her away from a repressive father.

"I need your help moving her," Miranda said. She glanced down at her hands which had moved from her lap and began to play with a bobble he left on the coffee table.

"Okay," he said. It was a reasonable request, and given Miranda's organizational skills, he figured it would be an easy task. Especially in comparison to the other things people were asking. He had only started the list with Jack's and Jacob's jobs, but completed a side mission for Zaeed and fully expected his other teammates to ask for assistance on one thing or another. Miranda's request was not out of the ordinary, only her timing; he figured she would have spent more time constructing her argument, but it is possible time was a factor for her mission.

"It's on Illium, so it wouldn't be out of the way," she said, continuing on as if he didn't agree. "I just need to meet with my contact but if you could come and just stand there," she waved at his entire body, "and be you."

"Okay," he agreed again. She paused mid-word, her lips forming themselves around the word before she slammed them shut. His smirk leaked out and as she stumbled to recover.

"That's it?" The shocked express remained as he nodded affirmative. "You'll help?"

"Yeah, it's that simple," he said. "Once we're done at Pragia, we'll be heading to Illum to pick up our last two recruits. That should be about two weeks? Is that too late?"

"No, that's…I will schedule a meeting with my contact," Miranda said, standing. "I will forward the information." She left without another word, leaving him to return to his models and reports. And she didn't answer his question about her change in behavior.

Assisting the crew made sense. It made the mission easier to deal with in the long run, and stopped him from thinking too much on where they were heading.

I0I

To: Martha Kent ( .pub)

From: Jacqueline Nought (jkz0_67345 .pub)

Subject: RE: RE: …

Mrs. Kent,

I guess I can try. I'm not sure what you want from me.

We're heading to where it all started, where I grew up. And I'm going to blow that place to hell. I hated it, every minute of my childhood, every watching me, glaring at me. I was just a kid, and they didn't help me.

But I got out, and now no one hurts me again.

Except I have to go back there, take the place off the map.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Thanks, I guess, for listening.

Jack

A/N: I own nothing. I've also begun to make some deviations from typical fancasts, so check below. These changes are retroactive. I will go ahead and make edits in later chapters to the story, not necessarily the fancast.

Clark Kent...Henry Cavill

Ashley Williams…Sarah Shahi

John Shepard…Charles Hunnam

Miranda Lawson…Yvonne Strahovski

Zaee Masini…Gerard Butler

Garrus Vakarian…Jeremy Renner

Mordin Solus…David Tennant

Dr. Karin Chakwas…Carolyn Seymour

Jack…Natalie Portman

David Anderson…Keith David

Bruce Wayne…Ben Affleck

Pamela Isley…Isla Fisher

Kasumi Goto…Maggie Q

John Stewart…Idris Elba

Selena Kyle…Anne Hathaway

The Illusive Man…Martin Sheen

Lex Luthor…Farin Tahir

Tali'Zorah nar Raya…Lea Michelle

Dr. Harley Quinzel…Freema Agyeman

Dick Grayson…Logan Lerman