The Anger of Innocence Lost Ch. 9
Disclaimer: I don't own anything recognizable in this story. I am just playing with the Winchesters and will return them to Kripke's sandbox later.
Author's Note: I'll try to have an update for A Hard Road tomorrow. This chapter of Innocence Lost demanded to be written tonight.
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Previously: Just a few short minutes later, Dean and Sam glanced up to see Dr. Moore walking their way. Dean noticed how the doctor kept a passive look on his face, not revealing anything as he walked up to them. The brothers stood as the doctor finally came up beside them holding a folder in his hand. "I have you father's test results back"
Dr. Moore couldn't help but notice the way the tension in the room increased at his announcement. The tension was so palpable that he felt as though he could have cut it with a knife. Knowing that he had the news that would make things much better, he stated "I'm happy to say that the MRI and CT scans were better than we had hoped for. There was no evidence of brain swelling from the head injury nor did your father suffer from any bleeding on the brain. The results show that your father is not in a coma, but in a deep state of unconsciousness." The doctor watched as both boys visibly relaxed at hearing the news. It was as though the tension melted away like snow under the heat of a warm Spring day.
"That's great news Doc" Dean replied as he rain his hand through his short spiky hair. "But what about my dad's lungs. You mentioned earlier that you were worried about the possibility of a lung puncture."
"I can tell you from the result of the scan that your father does have a punctured lung, BUT it is what we refer to as a simple pneumothorax which is the best we could have hoped for in this situation.
"What do you mean by that?" Dean inquired needing to know just how bad things were with his dad.
"What it means is that your father's lung was only partially collapsed. The pressure that built up in his lung cavity was not enough to cause cardiovascular dysfunction. We have inserted a chest tube to relieve the pressure that is in his chest cavity. We'll remove the tube later as pressure levels return to normal." Dr. Moore replied in answer to Dean's question.
Needing to know when his dad might awake, Sam asked "Doc, can you tell us when our dad might regain consciousness?"
"I'm sorry to say that I really don't know. He could regain consciousness within the next thirty minutes or it could take a few days. Your father was responsive to pain stimuli when we tested him so I am hoping that he will wake up soon" the doctor stated.
"When can we see him?" Dean asked after the doc finished answering Sammy's question.
"You boys can see him as soon as we get him settled into his own room which should take approximately twenty minutes. I'll have one of the nurses come get you when he's ready." Tony said with a smile.
"Thanks Doc, we really appreciate everything you did for our dad" Dean said as he reached out to shake the doctor's hand.
"You're welcome, I'm always happy when I can give a family good news" Dr. Moore stated before quietly walking away.
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After the doctor walked away, Sam started pacing around even more nervously than he was earlier. According to the doc, his dad could wake up at any time and he knew that the man wouldn't want him there. He had made it clear the day Sam left for Stanford that he wasn't a part of the family anymore. He wished his father could just love him and accept him for the person he was, but that would never happen. No, he would have to make his own life at Stanford, with Jessica, and then maybe someday his dad would want to see him again.
Dean watched as Sammy paced the floor in agitation wondering what was going through the kid's mind. Sammy had been on edge since they had arrived but refused to talk about his feelings. Well that was just too damn bad because he was going to get to the bottom of things now whether Sammy liked it or not. He wasn't going to just stand back and watch as his little brother slowly lost it before his very eyes. "Alright, that's it Sammy" Dean called out as Sam stood up to start his pacing once more. "You need to tell me what's wrong and don't feed me that bullshit about everything being fine. Come on tiger, let me in so that I can help you" Dean pleaded.
Sam was about to tell Dean just to leave it be once again until Dean called him tiger. That nickname always broke his resolve when he was little. He hadn't heard it in so long and didn't realize just how much he had missed the moniker. Sam looked up at Dean with somber eyes really hating what he was about to say because he knew just how much it was going to hurt Dean. "Dean, I'm really sorry man. I know you're going to be upset with me but I can't stay. I can't be here when Dad wakes up."
Dean's heart dropped at hearing Sammy's words. He never thought for one minute that Sammy would leave so soon so he was completely taken by surprise. "Sammy, you can't…"
"Please don't try to change my mind Dean, this is hard enough as it is. I can't stay here and see the disappointment on his face at seeing me again. It nearly killed me the last time he told me that I was never to come back. I still have nightmares over that and I can't go through it again. Please don't hate me, but I have to go." Sam said in a rush before he lost his nerve.
Dean hated the defeated look in his brother's eyes as Sammy talked to him. Their dad's words had obviously hurt Sammy to the core of his very being. How could he make Sammy understand that their dad hadn't meant what he said. Sammy hadn't been there to see the way John had sunk into despair at losing his youngest son, he had only heard the words spat out in anger in the heat of the moment.
"Sammy I swear to you that Dad never meant the words he said. He's wished so many times that he could have taken that day back and do it all over again. He loves you Sammy and he really misses you. Give him a chance to make things up to you."
"If he loves me like you say, then why hasn't he called me to apologize Dean, to tell me he didn't mean those words. Hell, he hasn't even once called me to say hello or to see if I was okay. I can't take the chance that you might be wrong." By now the tears were flowing freely down Sammy's face as he tried to make Dean understand. His heart had never fully mended yet from that last fight with his dad. He couldn't take the chance of it being shattered beyond repair by another blow up.
Dean took a deep breath to calm himself. He knew the reason John had never called, the man was just too damn stubborn to admit that he was wrong, that he shouldn't have lost his temper that night. "You know how dad is Sammy, he has never been able to admit it when he was wrong."
Sam shook his head in acknowledgement of the words that Dean had said. He knew how true the statement was, but that still didn't negate the fact that John hadn't spoken to him in over a year. He had had plenty of time to make things right but chose not to. Chances were that he was still pissed with him for wanting to go to school. "I know that Dean, how could I not after growing up with the man, but I can't take the chance that he's still pissed with me. Please understand why I have to go, I can't take it if I lose you too, please Dean."
"God Sammy, don't you know that you could never lose me no matter what little brother. I love you kiddo and nothing will ever change that" Dean stated vehemently as he pulled Sammy in for a hug. He knew he was going to have to let Sammy go again, he just wished it didn't have to be so soon.
Sam relaxed into his brothers hug knowing that he hadn't lost his brother. As long as he had Dean, then he could deal with everything that life threw at him. "I love you too."
Dean hid his heartbreak as he asked "So when are you leaving?"
"As soon as I can call a cab to take me to the bus station" Sam replied as he pulled away from his brother and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his green button down shirt.
"Sammy, you don't have to call a cab, I can drive you" Dean offered remembering the last time he had taken Sam to the bus station. It had been the worst day of his life having to watch that bus drive away with Sammy on it and knowing that he wouldn't be coming back.
"You need to stay here with dad Dean, it's better this way." Sam said watching his brother through blurry tear filled eyes. It was hard enough leaving Dean behind the last time and he didn't want to go through that again.
Dean nodded his head in understanding, he had no doubt that Sammy had experienced the same separation anxiety as him, but Sammy's had to have been so much worse thinking that he wouldn't be welcomed back. 'I'm gonna miss ya dude" Dean said around the lump in his throat as he drew Sammy in for another hug. God, he was losing his baby brother again.
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Thirty minutes after Sammy had left, Dean was sitting in his father's room in a hard metal chair waiting for his dad to wake up. His dad looked extremely pale lying against the hospital sheets. He had a heart monitor hooked up and it was giving off a steady beep that Dean was beginning to find annoying in the silence. There were two different IV's attached to the port in his dad's hand and Dean assumed one of them was probably an antibiotic to stave off infection while the other was keeping him hydrated until he could take in liquids on his own. Glancing down further, it was obvious that his ribs had been wrapped and that his ankle had already been casted. The thing that he hated the most however, was the tube coming out of his dad's chest. It made his dad look weak and it gave him an uncomfortable feeling. He was drawn out of his thoughts as he heard the sheets rustling on his dad's bed. He glanced up to see John's eyes fluttering as he tried to wake up. "Dad, can you open your eyes for me?" Dean asked as he watched his father intently.
As John neared consciousness, he became aware of sensations around him. He heard the steady beeping of a machine and knew that he was in the hospital. He wondered how he had gotten there since his mind was so muddled by whatever medication they were giving him. The last thing he remembered was being stuck inside that cave and seeing his boys coming to his rescue. He shuddered as he remembered a gun going off and watching Sammy fall. "Sammy" he moaned as he fought to bring himself to full awareness. He really needed to know if his son was okay.
TBC
