Sakura: Alright, here goes! *takes a deep breath.* This is a Fan-Created work. Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto. Tora and all things related to her are owned by Rayen Autumn King. Please enjoy, and support the official release!

Rayen: Thank you Sakura. You may go now... or Hang out... Frankly of the group I think I can tolerate you the best.

Sakura: Thanks, I need a break... by the way why does Sasuke hate me so much-

Rayen: That would be a spoiler of the normal timeline, so I cannot answer that.

Sakura: ... Oh... that makes sense...


Chapter 9

After the meeting, I walked to my room, and flopped on my bed, letting my tears from my realization flood from my eyes. He did care… my mind screamed as a soft sob escaped. He was trying to keep us above water… Why did I not think about that?!

Because you were being a scared little brat… I sat up, pulling at my hair as I rocked back and forth. I had been hearing that second, evil voice was almost three years now. Maybe longer. It always seemed to appear where I realized I wasn't all I thought I was… oddly enough… it sounded like my mother. Always clinging to your brother's leg as if he needs to pack you around like a growth. No wonder he gave up on you!

Go away… Please just go away! I begged, a soft scream escaping me. He didn't give up on me. He never did!

No, you did the giving up, the voice hissed.

"Tora?" I sat up straight, and blinked away the voice as I heard Kakashi knock and call my name. "You still up?"

I took a deep breath, shakily drawing in oxygen. "Y-Yea," I stuttered, getting up and heading for the door, unlocking it and opening it, looking up at him. "So… that talk…"

"Yea…" he sighed, stepping in, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "First off, you alright? I heard something like a scream."

I looked down, biting my lip. "I guess… I guess you could say my brain is having issues processing the fact I shoved you away for a reason out of your control." I fiddled with a loose string on my shirt.

"No, you had the right to do so," he said, kneeling beside me as he sat me on my bed. "I could have chosen to wait until you were older before doing more missions—I could have asked for a teaching position at the academy, which would have made your tuition free I found out later… I would have been home every night, and we would have had free daycare for Hana… But it wasn't going to pay enough to pay the bills for the house." He wiped my face. "I just… I wanted to make sure you had as good a life as possible… that you could still live in our childhood house…"

"Do you still have the house?" I asked, quietly playing with my jacket sleeve.

"No… I sold it about six months after you two moved out… It had too many memories—our arguments… Dad…" he looked at his hand. "I live in the same apartment building as Iruka and Gai."

"How is Gai?" I asked, looking up at him as he stood and dug through my dresser.

"Same as usual… Wanting to challenge me for everything," he chuckled, then closed the dresser looking around. "Where's your brush?"

"On the safe," I said, looking at him. "Why?"

"Your hair is tangled and snarled. And I remember you liked Mom brushing it when you were really little," he said, moving over to the safe.

I stared after him, biting my lip as I felt my inner self shrink in even more guilt. How could I have been such an idiotic brat? How could I think he didn't love me? He remembers me loving it whenever Mother did my hair… I looked away, my fingers fidgeting with my jacket sleeve.

"Is that ok?" I blinked as he spoke again, and then nodded as he sat down next to me and pulled my hair out of my messy ponytail, his fingers fluffing it slightly to shake out what they could before he started. "Anyway… That night, I was trying to get you to calm down so I knew you would be ok while I was gone. When I came home… I couldn't understand why you were always glaring at me, or refused to talk to me unless you had to," his voice was far away, and hurt. "I guess now it makes sense—you were too freaked out. You probably only heard half of what I said."

"Yea… until today… I remember you yelling at your team to shut up," I said as I felt him start brushing the end of my hair. "And that you said good-bye as I asked you not to leave… so I might have not noticed because I was panicking."

"Exactly," he kept working at my hair slowly and steadily. "I never thought about it… until we stopped at that port. I thought you had understood, I thought you were just throwing a ten year tantrum."

"That's putting what I was doing mildly," I chuckled, looking at him over my shoulder.

He laughed, then started brushing out a snarl. "Anyway, I never meant to make you feel abandoned… I was just worried about making sure you were safe…"

"Oh…"

We sat in silence, him just continuously brushing out the snarls and tangles. I felt like a kid again… Mom had showed him how to brush my hair in case she couldn't do it for some reason, saying it never hurt for a man to know how to brush and do a girl's hair. It clearly stuck as he sat down the brush and moved more behind me to part my hair and start braiding it.

Then, he sighed softly. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

I blinked, totally confused by the question, and then realized he was talking about my volunteering to assist his team in protecting Yukie. "No… I am a little rusty. I have no clue what to use for weapons—I have the bare minimal that I bring in case feel that I might be traveling into dangerous territory. I have nothing that would be suitable for fighting in, though I could probably throw something together from the costume stuff."

He chuckled. "I can get you some—I have a couple weapon scrolls that you can choose from." He braided more, then spoke softly. "You know… I've never said this, but you should know… When you graduated, and refused to become a shinobi, I…" he took another breath. "I was so proud and happy."

My body stiffened, and I looked over my shoulder. "What do you mean? I always thought…"

"You thought I was disappointed? No, I wasn't. I never wanted you to be a shinobi," he pulled out a piece of string, and sighed. Then he stood and moved to grab a chair, and pulled it over so he could sit in it across from me. "Tora. Do you remember my second ANBU mission? It was right before your fifth birthday."

I blinked, and then scooted off the bed and sat at his feet. When Father was still alive, I would sit like this when he'd tell us stories. Kakashi was usually on the couch or a chair, studying but still listening. "Vaguely… Yes." When he came back, it was the day after my birthday, but he still took me out. He was so patient while I had deliberated our lunch, as well as what cupcakes to take to school the next day to share with my classmates.

He looked down at me, and then reached down for my hand. "I never told you what the mission was…"

"I thought it was a recon mission," I scooted closer. "At least, that is what it sounded like." I hesitantly rested my head against his knee. I suddenly just felt so drained, but I wanted to listen.

"It had started as reconnaissance…" his hand gently moved over my hair. "But a message was sent to us saying we had a new mission…" I noticed his voice faltering, and I gently touched his knee to calm him. "We had to track down a man… and kill him. I didn't know why, or who he was. And I was the one who found him…" I blinked. "In my mind, I should have questioned—why does he need to die? Why this sudden change? He didn't seem like a bad guy…"

"You struck the killing blow," I finished for him with a gentle voice. The one I used to soothe my horses when they would get nervous. I looked up at his face with a softened glance. "Right?"

Kakashi was looking at a wall, and I could just see a tear sleeping free from his eye. "That man's eyes had been, so full of shock and surprise… I made a promise to myself I would never allow you that horror. I loved you too much to let you go through that." I stood up, and pressed close to him. He was being perfectly honest with me, and it made my heart hurt from the guilt of hating him for so long. "I didn't want you to look up to me too much, so I got distant in hopes it would encourage you to not be a shinobi."

"Kakashi…" I looked at my hands, biting my lip before I wrapped my arms around his neck hesitantly, hugging him tightly. "I'm so sorry…"

He stiffened, and I wondered if I might have crossed an unspoken line, and started to release him. His response was to instead wrap his arms around me and pull me closer. We were like that for a few minutes, until my door suddenly opened.

"Tora, your horse is—"

My head snapped up as Kakashi's head turned, staring at Sasuke who stood there not quite gaping, but not just staring. I didn't know how to react, and swallowed lightly. Kakashi gently patted my back, and stood.

"What did you need, Sasuke?" he asked, pushing the chair to the side.

The Uchiha cleared his throat, and leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms, facing smoothing into emotionless. "That stupid horse of yours is going crazy again."

My eyes rolled, and I sighed, pushing away my thoughts for now. "Tell Ivan I will be there in a couple minutes. He can suffer." Sasuke nodded, then looked like he was gonna speak, before reaching for the door and walking out, a click signaling we were alone again. "I don't know what to do anymore, Kakashi."

My brother wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "I know… I don't really know either. But right now, let's focus on this mission and finishing this movie so I can get you and Lucifer home before you decided to murder a movie director."

"Good start," I laughed, and then grabbed my gloves. "You can stay here and pull out those weapons so we can figure something out for me. I have some things in my bag if you want to see. They're probably all dull…"

"I'll work on it," he said ruffling my hair before turning to my table and pulling out scrolls as I walked out the door.

I walked up to the deck, passing Sasuke as I moved across the deck to Lucifer's stall as the horse kicked the wall. "Stop it, Lucifer." He stuck his head out and snorted at me, and I bopped his nose. "And don't you dare give me that attitude!" The horse attempted to look insulted as I crossed my arms. "You just be quiet and let me finish what I was doing understood?"

"You don't think he actually understands you, do you?" a female voice said behind me.

For once startled, I jumped and spun my fist swinging for a target that was nothing but a blur of pink and red and yellow in my mind, instincts I haven't tapped into for years driving the attack. A hand caught my wrist inches from the offender's nose. As I panted heavily, my eyes finally focused on the pink haired girl in front of me, who was staring at my fist as I glared at her, my heart hammering within my ribcage.

What the hell? How did she just sneak up on me?! Of all people? My eyes narrowed in anger that Sakura had managed to sneak up on me.

"Sakura, why did you sneak up on her?" a second voice asked, and I followed the hand around my wrist to see Sasuke looking at Sakura. "She is Kakashi's sister. You shouldn't be surprised that she would immediately attack."

"Well, normally she seems to know we're here!" she argued, and I pulled my wrist from his grip. "So she should have—"

"Excuse me if tensions are a little high," I snapped, glaring at them both. "I was actually in the middle of a heart to heart with my brother, thank you very much. So my brain is kinda trying to wrap around shit." Sakura looked a little scared, while Sasuke was as indifferent as ever. That hurt… and I still don't understand why his opinion mattered so much. "I'm not a ninja—I am a civilian. I am ruled by emotions and my brain, not orders. So back the fuck off." I turned, and stormed back to my room, growling softly as I shut the door behind me. "How did Sakura graduate?"

Kakashi looked up, blinking at me. "Uh, why?"

"Because she seems to think that just because I happen to sense her most of the time, that I am to follow all the shinobi rules…" I snapped, flopping in a chair next to the table.

"Uh… well I think she was a bit of a bookworm," he sighed, unlocking the seal on one of the weapon scrolls, a couple tantos, several kunai, shuriken, and a few small daggers appearing on the table as he reached for a second one. "Unfortunately, not a lot of it stuck… she apparently thought it would be as easy as described in the books."

"You did too…" I reminded as I looked up at him.

"Yes, but I actually put it into practice—so did you."

"I—Good point." He chuckled, and I sat up as a long knife tumbled out and rolled over to me. I picked it up, drawing it out of its sheath with a frown. It was a beautiful weapon, with a long and slim blade that was about a foot and a half long, with a black mahogany handle with our family name engraved in the handle. "Didn't this one used to have a friend?"

He sighed. "I lost its partner a long time ago. It broke."

"Oh… well," I stood, drawing it all the way out of its sheath before giving it a test swing, then did a few lunges to get myself in rhythm with the weapon. "I'll take this one. I like its feel… sits right in my hand."

He looked up at it. "Not surprised." He smiled at me, "It was Mother's."

I blinked, looking up at him, then down at it. "Really?"

Kakashi nodded once more, "Yes." Then he smirked. "It suits you. I've been meaning to give it to you."

I looked down at it, gripping it tightly. "Thanks Kakashi..."

"Of course, Tora."

I looked away, coughing. "S-So... what else you got for me?" I rested the blade on the chair I had been in, very carefully as if it would break if I so much as looked at it wrong.

"I may have a few things," he turned to grab something else.

"Something for my forearm maybe? It would be handier in a pinch," I rubbed my head.

Kakashi laughed, "It's like you knew what I was going to give you next."

I blinked, then laughed. "Well, I was pretty good with hand to hand and weaponry... A couple babysitters swore to never babysit academy students again..." I smirked triumphantly, remembering how I had scared off a couple via cutting their hair by just barely missing there head as they moved around the house. It was so worth the grounding that followed when Kakashi came home to kunai and shuriken in the cupboards.

He chuckled, and I smiled up at him. This… This was nice…

"So… how bad were my kunai? Did you check them out?" I asked.

"You were right; all of your kunai are dull." He was quiet again, before speaking softly. "Just take some of mine."

"Alright," I sighed, grabbing an extra pouch and filling it with kunai and shuriken.

"Um," he pulled out another scroll and opened it, examining the items. "Ah, here we are. This will do." He held up a sheath. "How about you run to the costume room while I set you up a few more choices?"

"Alright. That's probably a good idea to see what I can conceal."

"Exactly," he chuckled, and I got up.


Sakura: So... how does Kakashi-sensei know she's gonna be okay?

Rayen: Well... I can't exactly spoil the next chapter now can I?

Sakura: What does that-

Rayen: AND THAT'S IT FOR THIS CHAPTER! SEE YOU ALL NEXT TIME!