Song for the first part of this chapter: Kiss the rain by Yiruma. I strongly recommend you listen to this, even though all credit goes to Yiruma I said Edward wrote it in my story because it's too perfect for words and I think Edward would write something like this for Bella's Lullaby, it's both hopeful and sad and happy.


Jake seems despondent and distracted, the energy and spark in his walk is gone and I leave our beach feeling like I am missing something huge, and a little lost and a little confused. What could be going on with him?


Chapter Nine - Part One

A month passes. At school Edward and I are barely separated between classes. We eat with our friends at lunch, or by ourselves outside, when it's not raining. Angela hangs out with us occasionally, but I can tell she doesn't want to be a third wheel or a seventh sometimes. We still find the time to be good friends though, with a girls night every once in awhile. Mike seems just as happy to be my friend after I gave him a little chat, and he graciously always offers to be my P.E partner, even though I usually end up hurting him one way or another. Edward's father, Carlisle, pretty much treats me like his long lost daughter after meeting me and realizing the change I have made in his son. I am over at their place often. And last but not least things have not changed with Jacob, he stays as stubborn as ever. In the few times I have been over there he acts almost as if I have done something wrong, hurt him in some great way, and I can't figure it out. I owe it to the fact that he wants me to be his best friend alone and I think that's too much to ask, he has other friends as well. With a heavy heart and a frusterated sigh I hang up my cell after another useless conversation with him. I made the quick call from Edward's house so he is nearby and senses my distress.

"Is everything alright Bella?".

"No. Jacob is being weird".

He laughs lightly, "Care to elaborate?".

"He has been acting mopey since he found out you and me were going out. He must think I can't have a best friend and a boyfriend both".

"Hmmmm sounds like he is a bit jealous".

"Not Jake. It's not like him and I just don't see why he would be jealous. We were never anything big, obviously. Since I moved here I haven't seen him since I was six. We were too busy climbing fences and sticking worms down peoples backs to be worried about anything else". Jealously would explain things though, I start to think.

Edward suddenly bursts out laughing and I realize how funny my rant must have sounded, so I start to laugh with him, "Um ya we did get in a lot of trouble".

"Everyday I learn something new about you and I never cease to be amazed, even by that", he laughs and pulls me closer to him on the couch, I give him a quick kiss before I let my mind wander. The last month has been complete bliss, heaven on earth. There is no doubt in my heart that I love Edward. I love him beyond mere high school sweetheart love, and what is expected for your first love. I love him more than words can say and I already know that someday I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I love how he is so sensitive, how he is not afraid to look weak in front on me, and because of that I see him as the strongest person I know. I also love how he feels like he has to tell me everything, every little thing that pops into his head, including the painful memories. He has had a few in the last month, when things trigger them, but he talks to me about them and they become nothing more than a part of his past; a painful part but one that is easier to cope with.

"I want to show you something. Come with me Bella", he suddenly pulls me off the couch with him and leads the way to the white piano, setting me down before sitting down himself. I always knew Edward played the piano but he hasn't played when I am around. I always thought he was just shy because I know he must be as good at this as he is at painting; he is good at everything he tries.

(AN: the song that he plays is named in the above AN)

"I wrote this to show you how much you mean to me. I also wrote it in memory of my sister because you were there for me when I needed it and because of that she will always have a special place in my heart when I think of how much I love you". I only nod and he begins to play. Tears start to form in my eyes almost as soon as it begins. It's the perfect blend of happiness, sadness, hopefulness, love, regret and a hundred other emotions that I can't think of words for. His fingers graze the keys ever to lightly and the effect is a song that blends together perfectly from one part to the next, a song that was in his heart before he decided to put it on paper; it's the most beautiful thing I have ever heard, besides his voice and his laugh. He plays it for just over three minutes and during that time I think I begin to really feel what he feels, sure I tried to show him how I felt but this is a hundred times more beautiful and mirrors exactly what I feel for him as well. He finishes the song with a few soft notes and looks over at me for my reaction. I suddenly realize that I am crying.

"Why are you crying Bella?", he says with as much emotion as I feel.

"It's just so beautiful, I can't believe that you wrote that, it's just so perfect. It started out sad as if you were unsure then it turned into love and gratitude then hopefulness".

"That's exactly what I intended", he pulls me onto his lap and wraps his arms around me, "The hope comes from the fact that I hope someday you will be mine".

"I am already yours, and I always will be", I whisper.

"I mean mine, as in my wife". I look up at him through my tears and see that even though his face is full with as much emotion as mine he is dead serious.

"Yes, I would love that. Someday. Maybe 5 or so years?", my voice breaks at how long that seems, but I know that that is exactly what I want.

"Ill wait for you Bella, I will wait years and years if I have to".

"Thank you".

We sit there for who knows how long. At one point Alice bounding down the stairs shakes us out of our reverie. The tears on both of out faces must betray something awful to her.

"What happened. Whats wrong?", she looks horrified as if something has gone wrong.

Edward breaks the silence between us his voice filled with love, "Nothing Alice, nothing is wrong at all".


The song for this part of the chapter is Speeding Cars by Imogen Heap. There are several parts in this song that explain things exactly from Jacob's point of view. Most of the words are eerie they match so well, check it out.


Chapter Nine - Part Two

Later that week I finally decide that the way things are between Jacob and I can't continue. When Edward confessed that he wanted to be my husband someday it felt like things were finally set in stone. My heart has absolutely no objections to that fact, only that I will probably lose my oldest, dearest and most best friend in the process. I never thought that Jacob was the jealous sort, but when Edward said it, it got me thinking and it's started to make sense; my best friend is in love with me. His little red car is thankfully parked in the driveway when I reach his place. I knock on the door and he answers slower than usual. He takes in the look on my face and nods, realizing that I came here with a purpose. He silently takes me to the garage, where we have spend so many happy hours together, and we sit down on the familiar plastic crates.

"Jake... I don't know where to start", I promised myself that I would not break down but before the words are even out of my mouth I do.

"It's alright Bells. You finally figured it out though?", his voice quiet and calm. The calm before the storm.

I nod, "I had no idea... I didn't think... I can't...Jake...", I stutter out.

He looks at me with the saddest eyes I have ever seen and holds his hand out, "Let me talk first, just listen", I nod and he continues, "I have loved you since the day we met. I remember that day as clearly as it was yesterday. I also remember how much I loved to be around you. Even from a young age I knew you were the girl for me. At the time I obviously didn't think of it as love, but as time passed and everyone around me moved on, grew up, and more recently fell in love around me I began to realize that I never felt as happy as when you were here. The pictures, the things we gave each other, the memories confirmed that. When you moved back", he starts to choke up now, "I thought that it was meant to be, I thought that maybe you would realize your feelings for me as I had for you. Those weeks were the happiest in my life, seriously", his voice suddenly goes bitter now, "Then you had to go and fall in love with that emotional mess", I open my mouth to say that's not true but he cuts me off, "Please let me finish. How could you fall in love with someone you barely even know? I thought I meant something to you, but you shamelessly flaunted your love for another man in front of me", I can hear that he is starting to lose control now, saying things that he would normally never say to me, "Tell me right now Bells. Do you love me at all, or is he just a phase, a diversion?".

"I am very sorry to have caused you so much pain, Jacob. Believe me it was not my intention, and if I had even had a hint that you had feelings past friendship I would not have done half the things I did, I wouldn't hurt you on purpose Jake!", even though I feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest at seeing my best friend in such a state I feel like this may be the only chance to be completely open with him, as he has been with me, and I feel my voice growing slowly more steady, "I do love you Jake, but as my dearest friend. Edward and I are in love, I love him more than my life itself and I just can't turn those feelings off. So to answer your question no he is not a phase or a diversion. He..", I cut myself off before I say something that will hurt him even more.

"He what!", he practically screams at me. I flinch, he has never yelled at me before.

"He wants me to marry him someday. Our connection is so deep... and I really really love him", I feel like I am pleading with him, which is silly.

"That's just great Bells, go and marry a complete fucking stranger!", he kicks something that happens to be in his path.

Anger suddenly flares up in me and I jump up, he is already on his feet. How dare he yell at me like it's my fault. I tried to be sympathetic about what he has gone through before but he is just going to far, "You need to grow up Jacob! Things don't always go the way you want but that is life. I came here with the intention of nicely talking through things with you. I realize that you love me now but all I want is the friendship we had before!".

His face is turning red and he is starting to scare me, "You just have no idea do you Bella? How I have waited all these years just to be given the chance to show you how much I love you? You treat my love like it's something you can just throw away. You told me you can't just turn your feelings off like that, well I can't either!".

"Your going to have to get over me someday Jacob, my heart is elsewere", I rasp quietly. My throat is already sore from yelling at him and I just want to leave.

He suddenly takes my arm and wrenches me towards him, "Listen to me. If you walk away now then that's it. Everything will be gone. All those years of friendship. Everything...gone".

I rip my arm away from his too strong grasp, "If that's the choice your giving me then ill have to take it. Goodbye Jacob Black".

Before I turn away I see the look of complete shock on his face, caused either by my decision or what choice he has forced me to make. I barely make it home before collapsing in grief. How could I do something like this to him? How could he fall in love with me when things were just starting to work?