"I met Caleb for lunch." Hanna said to Emily, Aria and Spencer over the phone. It was evening, and she thought she should tell them. Hanna, was shit at giving advice for herself. They had told Aria the whole story of Hanna's date and what not.
"Like, you asked him or did he ask you?" Aria asked, gnawing at her bottom lip, she remembered the day when Hanna told her about Caleb and her breaking up and her pregnancy.
*Flashback*
"Ezra. I've got to go. Spencer needs me." Aria said. She'd come to Ezra's apartment, she didn't know why. And, then she spilled her guts of everything. –A. Jake. Connor. Them. Everything that had been bothering her, and she couldn't spill her guts to anyone else, because they wouldn't know what to say or do. Except Ezra. So they talked, and they got back together – even if Ezra still was her teacher.
"Why do you have to leave?" Ezra asked, worry shown in his eyes.
"I don't know. All I know is that it's something serious." Aria said, picking up her purse, and putting on her shoes. Ezra opened his mouth, but she held a hand up to silence him. "I know it's serious, because Spencer texted a SOS."
"Oh, well are you coming back later?"
"Depends. I'll call you if I'm staying the night." Ezra nodded, and kissed her goodbye. They both smiled when they pulled away. "I love you."
"I love you too, girlfriend." Aria giggled.
…
"Hey, is everything okay?" Ezra asked, once Aria entered through the door with tearstains down her face.
"Um, Hanna and Caleb broke up, for good." Aria said, numbly. She was still processing the idea that her best friend was pregnant, and that the Father wasn't picking up any phone calls. Jackass.
"And, not to be rude, but why are you crying?" He asked. Aria sat down on the couch.
"She's pregnant. And, we tried calling Caleb all day, but he's not picking up at all. So, he's obviously ignoring us, thinking that we're gonna tell him off, which we kind of are, but still. She's pregnant, and –A is out there, and Caleb is gone, and I don't know if she is gonna cope." Aria said, gnawing at her bottom lip.
"She'll get through it. She's a strong girl." Ezra said, kissing her forehead, and wrapping an arm around Aria.
*End of flashback*
"He asked me. He texted me at nine o clock, asking if we could meet up for coffee at lunch." Hanna replied, smiling at the memory.
"What did he want?" Emily asked.
"He wanted to talk about Tiff. Which I mean is a good thing, right?"
"Han, it's a great thing." Spencer said. "She might get her Dad."
"Yeah, and plus, maybe you'll get him too." Aria said.
"I doubt that would happen. He's engaged." Hanna replied.
"You really think he would choose Rachel over you?" Emily said. "If you think that, you're crazy."
"He's moved on, guys." Hanna said.
"Let us have some flashbacks." Aria said. "He said to you, you think I'm the only who's affected by our break up. Which in a hidden language, means, you think I don't love you."
"Ask Ezra. He's a guy, he'll know what it means." Hanna said, and Aria did. "What was his answer?"
"That Caleb's still in love with you." Aria said. "What was that… Ezra's on the phone."
"Kay." Hanna said.
"So, if he's trying to see you again in any way, if he's trying to make conversation with you he's still in love with you." Ezra said to Hanna. Hanna and Ezra's relationship was special. Ezra was like Hanna's older brother. Giving her advice when Hanna was stuck in shit, like right now.
"Then why is he engaged to another girl?" Hanna moaned.
"Because he pushed those feelings down. But, now he's seen you again, well, those feelings just whoosh back up. In English, he pushed them down because he didn't want to get hurt by you again, and thought that if his mind thought he didn't love you, his heart would follow, and not be in love with you anymore. But, now he sees you, those feelings are back, because they resurfaced."
"That, is why you are an English teacher." Hanna said.
"What does she look like? I mean Rachel."
"Blonde hair. Blue eyes. My height. Good fashion sense."
"Ring any bells?"
"Shit, you're good." Emily said.
"Why would it matter?" Hanna asked. "So what if she has some qualities like me."
"Did you ever stop to think that you're blonde, that you've got blue eyes, that she's your height, and that you've got a good fashion sense as well as her." Spencer said.
"He's got a type. That's it."
"No." Aria said. "That is not it. He's dating her, because she looks like you."
"Why isn't he dating me then?" Hanna said. "I want him to be dating me."
"Well, unless you kill her, I don't really know." Ezra said, and Hanna sarcastically laughed. "Well, I don't know, but it seems like he's trying to get over you, by dating someone like you, but that ain't working."
…
"Hey Caleb." Hanna said, sitting down across the table. He'd asked her if he could know more about Tiff, and of course she obliged. Maybe it was the fact of seeing him again. Or maybe it was because, deep down, she wanted Tiff to have her Dad. Her real Dad.
"Hey Han." Caleb replied, smiling. He didn't know why he asked her to come for coffee. Maybe it was the fact of seeing her again. Or maybe it was because he wanted to know his daughter. Maybe it was both.
"So, tell me about you and Rachel." She said, wanting to know more about the relationship she despised. She knew she shouldn't because it was her best friend. But this was Caleb.
The same Caleb who she was deeply, passionately, insanely, madly in love with.
"Really?" He asked, not sure if it was a touchy subject. Hanna nodded at him. "Well, don't tell anyone this, but I said I'm a virgin." Caleb whispered to her, and Hanna laughed, but clamped a hand over her mouth.
"You were definitely not a virgin when you were with me." Hanna said, smiling at the memories. Caleb nodded.
"You weren't either," the engaged man said to the Mother.
"Well." Hanna said, shaking her head at him and smiling. "What do you want to know about Tiff?" She asked.
"Well, what's next on the agenda? Um, what was school like. I mean once the word was out."
*Flashback*
Hanna walked into school. She was wearing a baggy shirt, in case she did have a hint of a bump. Even if she couldn't see one it didn't mean that others could see a bump. She lifted her head, and suddenly became self-conscious. Everyone was looking at her, and everyone was whispering about her. Of course, she expected it, but she didn't expect it so soon. She swallowed, and wiped her forehead, even if it was free of sweat. She walked to her locker, where Noel was leaning against it, his signature smirk on his face.
"Can I help you?" Hanna asked, rudely. Everyone was staring, still, and even teachers, well except Mr Fitz and Miss Montgomery. And, boy, was she grateful.
"So is it true?" Noel asked, a smirk present on his face.
"What is true?"
"That you're pregnant with hacker boy's baby."
"I'm not. I don't know who started that rumour and it's not true." Hanna walked away, and the bell went off. She walked to English, and sat down at the back, slouching in her chair. Spencer walked in, and sat next to her.
"You okay?" Spencer asked.
"They know." Hanna said through gritted teeth.
"What! How?" Emily asked, her eyes wide. Aria sat down in front of Hanna, looking around. And, Hanna was right. Everyone was staring. Everyone was whispering. And, everyone knew.
"No idea, but I don't want them to know." Hanna said, and wiped away a tear.
"We'll destroy them." Aria said, and Hanna nodded.
"I wish Caleb was here." Hanna whispered.
"Hey, he's an asshole." Spencer said, rubbing her arm, and Hanna nodded. Spencer squeezed her friend's hand, and Hanna smiled, and squeezed back. God, was she thankful for her friends.
Walking out of class, quickly. She raced to the bathroom, feeling a wave of nausea, she entered the bathroom, ran into the stall, and got sick in the toilet bowl. Spencer came in, and held Hanna's hair back while Emily and Aria waited outside, pushing anyone out who tried to get into the bathroom. Once Hanna had finished vomiting, she didn't move, she just started to sob. Her tears falling freely into the toilet.
"Hey, sweetie, it's okay." Spencer whispered, rubbing Hanna's back, as she clenched the toilet. "Everything's gonna be just fine. It is." Hanna continued sobbing, her tears still falling. Hanna choked on her breath. "Breathe Hanna. There's nothing to be scared of."
"Y-Yes th-there i-is." Hanna stuttered. "I-I'm a-a single m-mum."
"Yeah, but we're gonna be there for you every day. And we're gonna rub your feet, and we're gonna hold your hair back while you vomit, and get you food when you're craving it. Anything. We'll be there every step of the way." Spencer said.
"I love you Spence." Hanna said, moving from the toilet, and wrapping her arms around her brunette friend.
"I love you too Han."
*End of flashback*
Caleb was biting his lip, and running his hands through his hair. "I'm sorry." He admitted.
"For what?" Hanna asked, taking a sip of her coffee.
"For not being there. I feel like a total ass."
"Caleb," she said, tilting her head to the left. "It's not your fault. It's –A's. You're here now, and even if you're not meeting her personally, I'm good about this. I want Tiffany to have her Father, no matter what out arrangement is."
"Wow," he breathed.
"What?"
"If you were Rachel, you'd be up in my face shouting about how I wasn't there for her, so you'll never be there for her."
Hanna nodded. "That's Rachel for ya. How'd you guys meet?"
"Ravenswood."
"Oh right. When did you ask her on a date?"
"A year after we broke up. I needed to keep myself from crying that day, so I asked her, and now, well we're engaged." Caleb said, and Hanna nodded. Hanna checked the time on her phone, and swore under her breath.
"I've got ten minutes to get to class." Hanna said, and he nodded.
"Let me walk you?" Caleb asked, and she smiled, and bowed her head to hide the small redness in her cheeks. The two walked out of the coffee shop, and made conversation about Tiffany.
"Well, I'm here. Thank you for walking me." Hanna said, smiling. Caleb nodded. "Bye Caleb."
"Bye Hanna." The two turned away, but Caleb stopped walking, and turned around. He sprinted up the stairs, grabbed Hanna's arm, and spun her around, attaching his lips to hers. Hanna moaned, as Caleb's hands roamed her body, and her hands moved up to his hair, bunching it up, as they aggressively kissed. Hanna moaned, she pushed her tongue into his mouth, their tongues fighting for dominance. Hanna pulled away, and placed a palm on his shoulder.
Still close.
Their lips just inches apart.
Caleb enclosed her lips in his in a soft sweet kiss, before he pulled away. Realizing what he was doing. She choked on her breath as she stared into his chocolate brown eyes, and he breathed heavily as he stared into her ocean blue eyes. The grip on her waist loosened, and Hanna swore she heard her heart breaking again.
Like she did four years ago.
Because one kiss wouldn't change anything.
He would still go back to Rachel.
Because he was in love.
Because he was engaged.
But not to Hanna.
"We shouldn't have done that," Caleb whispered. Both still so close. Still so close. That the adrenalin was pumping through their bodies. The same adrenalin which neither of them had felt since four years ago. Still so close. That you could hear the breaths they were breathing in and breathing out. Still so close. That they were in kissing proximity.
Hanna shrugged. "I've got to go. I'm probably late." She said, and turned around, and she smiled. She smiled because she kissed Caleb. And, she had felt some sort of adrenalin running through her veins. Setting fire to her senses. To her heart.
And, she knew it was love.
She had felt it before.
Four years ago.
