Chapter 9

There were a great number of things that Naruto admired about Sakura. Her beautiful eyes were the color of the chopped chives in ramen, her long silky hair the color of the swirls in fish cakes found in the bottom of ramen bowls, and she had a gentle, kind-hearted nature that Naruto had yearned for all his life. The last of these was never more evident in it's complete and utter absence as her fist clenched around what remained of the mission statement.

"'Special Training" my ass! If he had errands, I'll just eat my hitai-ite. Kakashi-sensei was just too lazy to even be here! I'll tear him to..." she trailed off, her head whipping around to focus on Naruto. "What are you looking at?"

"Nothing! Nope, I didn't see anything!" Naruto quickly ducked his head down. He wasn't a coward, and he might have been an idiot, but it would take a particularly suicidal rock not to feel her battle aura.

"Mission parameters?" Sasuke interjected coolly, his voice making Sakura whip her head around again.

"Ah! Yes!" Sakura swiftly uncrumpled the knotted envelope, and she only seemed to glance at it for a minute before turning back to Sasuke. "Naruto was right - it is trash duty. It was supposed to be an all-day mission, but because Kakashi-sensei showed up late..."

Naruto choked, spinning around sharply to hide the half-hysterical laughter. "S-sorry. Frog in my throat." He coughed unconvincingly, but no one called him up on it.

"Right." Sakura continued dryly. "Anyway, we have an hour. The location is the "Hokage Memorial Park", somewhere in H-sector, and it's Rank E."

"'E"." Sasuke repeated. Naruto believed that because there were eyes that could see through illusions, eyes that could copy techniques, eyes that could see through walls, and eyes that could see the very chakra of a person, there had to be, somewhere, eyes that could kill with a single glance. If such eyes didn't exist, Naruto believed that Sasuke would successfully develop the techniques needed within the decade, because his eyes were halfway there already. "He gave us an E-mission." He turned to glance at Naruto. "This is all your fault."

"Huh?" Naruto startled, twisting around to look at the Uchiha. "How the hell is this my fault?"

"I graduated at the top of the class. Sakura," and he glanced at the kunoichi, who seemed exactly three steps away from latching onto his chest at the mention of her name, "was the top kunoichi in her class. You, idiot, were the last in class. It is because of you that we are slated for D-missions. This E-mission is the final indignity."

"Oh, you can just go to hell! It's only because of me that we managed to get that mission with Zabuza!" The Kyuubi vessel snarled, stomping over to the dark haired boy, leaning only inches from the other's face. "You bitch and whine about missions and crap, and then you complain how Kakashi doesn't train you, and then you bitch and whine about how freaking important you are because you were top of the class. Well, guess what," and he narrowed his eyes, wishing that he had a box to stand on because he was only staring at Sasuke's highly raised chin, "we're not in the Academy anymore. So what if you were the top ninja in your class. I'm sure whatever asshole you piss off the next time is gonna feel real bad about killing you. You might bitch that these missions are holding you back. You might bitch that Kakashi is holding you back. Hell, you can bitch all you want about me holding you back. Honestly," and the blond spat at his feet, "your prissy attitude is the only thing that's screwing up your life. Stoping blaming it all on everyone else."

Sasuke stopped breathing, and Naruto felt the air chill. "Guys?" Naruto turned his head to watch Sakura as she stepped forward. She came to within a few feet of the pair before spreading her arms in the international gesture of time outs. "We have a mission. Sasuke, you can kill Naruto after it's done, alright?" Sasuke continued to glare.

Naruto began to growl, but one glance at Sakura's expression quieted him. She looked scared.

"Yeah, sure." Naruto twisted away from Sasuke. "I remember the last time I nearly kicked your ass. Didn't end well."

"Oh? When did this happen - in your dreams?" The Uchiha mocked.

"Lame line, bastard. Nope, I'm talking about the day after we graduated." Naruto shuddered.

"Oh god. You mean... that." The disgust in Sasuke's voice was palpable. "You didn't "nearly kick my ass", but ...well, yeah, it didn't end well." Naruto could hear Sasuke exhale. "Right. Mission."

"There's a park in H-district I used to go to as a kid..." Naruto began, and Sakura looked at him gratefully. He tried to decide exactly why her eyes were shining like that. It could've been gratitude, could've been admiration, and it could've been love. With a rueful shake of his head, he realized that it probably was gratitude that she didn't need to explain bloodstains on the bridge.

After some initial confusion (because, as it turned out, there were three "Hokage Memorial Parks" within a three mile radius of their actual destination) they found the right one, a small hill that looked like nothing more than an alcove of trees covered in confetti, paper plates, and silly string in the tragic aftermath of a children's birthday party gone wrong for everyone but the birthday child.

Aside from the ribbons wound tightly around tree branches, silly hats decorating small, filthy shrines, noisemakers hanging from the branches like the most torturous wind chimes in history, and idly thrown wrapping paper carpeting the forest's floor, there was a small lake the color of thick, cooling tar surrounding a statue that was so caked in mud, leaves, and what might have been the collected nests of a thousand generations of pigeons that it looked less like something man made and more like that man, despite the best efforts of chisels, jutsu, and strategically placed dynamite, couldn't get out of the way.

The shock lasted less than a minute, and the screams lasted five. Sasuke sharply broke their outraged cries by picking up a large, pointed pike (and, a bright orange and yellow safety vest that neither Naruto nor Sakura could say anything about for fear of being stabbed by said large, pointed pike), and hurling it at the largest piece of trash.

"The last one," he spoke so quietly that Naruto had to shut up to hear him (as Sakura had the habit of going completely still whenever he opened his mouth), "to clear this place out owes the others lunch." He had glance upwards, his eyes cold, full of a promise often fulfilled - the threat of pain. "Naruto."

"Heh, you're on, you bastard. Rules?" The blond smirked. The challenge inside of Sasuke's eyes wasn't just familiar, but welcome. It was as if the moment on the bridge, where he'd said things that he'd only thought, and never even pondered saying aloud came out into the air, had left completely, the moment long gone. The ritual was a challenge, a competition, and in the same breath, a neutral ground in a way that no one else would ever be able to understand. He lazily stretched his hands behind his head, one eye noting stray pieces of white paper fluttering in the high, thickly leaved branches.

"You wasted our time earlier with your," and the dark haired boy spat the next word, "antics earlier. Thirty minute time limit, the rest of the hour will be spent filling out the mission reports."

Naruto laughed. "I bet I can fill out that paperwork and get more trash than you, no problem."He turned his head to Sakura. "You in?"

She glanced at him shrewdly, and turned one eye to Sasuke. "There aren't any technique bans in the contest?" The Uchiha shrugged, and Sakura nodded. She leaned in close to Naruto, and the blond felt his heart flutter. There was a look of utter and complete understanding in her eyes. She knew just as surely as he did. "You're not going to lose."

Her confidence in him made his heart pound all the way out of his chest. His breathing shallowed, and all he could do was stare at the way her lips were parted, a small smile tugging at the sides of them. "Sasuke," she continued, "is going to lose." She paused. "To you." She stopped completely for a moment, then she shook her head, her long pink hair flying everywhere. "My god, that's the strangest thing to happen in Konoha since Maito Gai."

"Oh," Naruto interrupted, "You know him too? I just found him walking through the market on his hands a few times. How did you...?" He trailed off, and Sakura sighed.

"My mother's related to him."

There was a great pause.

"My god, I'm so sorry, Sakura-chan." He moved in to clutch her in a great embrace. Seconds later, he was kissing dirt. Idly, he wondered if he should have asked her if she wanted a hug before moving in for the kill.

"Anyway," she said, flexing her arm and gradually unclenching her fist, "You're not going to lose." She glanced back, and Naruto saw that Sasuke was standing a few feet away, his head turned, body facing the tar-lake. His posture screamed that he wasn't paying attention to what they were saying, so it went without mentioning that he really was. "When Sasuke loses," and she only hesitated a little after saying that, "He'll take me out for dinner. So! Do your best, Naruto!"

Naruto didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"Okay, Sasuke. Let's do this" The brunette looked back at him lazily, one hand on his pike, looking sober and refined (save for the bright yellow and orange reflective vest, which made him look like he was wearing Naruto around his chest). The Uchiha nodded, and Naruto grinned at Sakura. "Wanna count it down?" He asked, and he felt like he could conquer the world because this was the second smile that was meant just for him that he got today.

"Right! On the count of three. One..." Sasuke spared Naruto a quick glance, and broke it off with a dismissive snort. Naruto tensed. "Two..." Sasuke dug his heels into the ground, fingers of one hand twitching to form seals. Naruto smirked. "Three!"

With one stance, one hand symbol, and one muted phrase, the small clearing filled with a multitude of orange and yellow, as if the entire hill caught aflame. Naruto had been somewhat pleased to note that several of his clones had been wearing the white sweatshirt outfit he'd donned today, though he still had no clue why. He felt the prod of the edge of his notebook in his side, and made a mental note to jot that fact down the next time his teammates weren't paying attention. His clones turned to glance at him, and he gestured with two lazy fingers around the hill. "Cleaning time! First one to finish gets to eat ramen!"

There was a deafening chorus of cheers, and at once, more than a dozen Naruto clones darted past Sasuke, some already bounding through the trees as others grabbed spare pikes, and others still readied trash bags.

"I hate you, Uzumaki." The Uchiha's glare had to be one of the most beautiful things Naruto had ever seen. One of the Uchiha Prodigy's hands was clenching around the pike, the other clenching into a fist at his side. He took small steps to Naruto, his eyes darting to the rushing clones that zoomed around the three genin. He came within arms reach of Naruto, and haltingly, almost robotically raised his arm. Naruto waited. And waited.

"Good show." Sasuke's hand was raised, and Naruto could do nothing but slap it. The Uchiha's eyebrow rose, and Naruto realized too late that it was supposed to be a handshake, not a high five.

"Damn right it was a good show!" He glanced around at his clones. "They do good work, so this place'll be spotless and all." Cheery, passing by, beamed with a fox grin, bogged down with two bags of trash already. "Anyway, how'd you know what I was gonna do, Sakura-chan?"

She twisted her head, looking for all the world disenchanted with the scene. Sasuke winced at the familiar pose, and Naruto snickered. "Come on, Naruto. It's not like you ever use any other jutsu. We had an unreasonable time limit for the amount of work needed." She paused, and there was a small, sincere, real smile on her face. "I would've done the same thing as you."

The smartest kunoichi in the class praising him. Uchiha raising his hand in defeat. Kakashi clapping. He had a grandmother, an aunt, and a name for his father.

It might very well have been the best day of his life for the second day in a row.

He couldn't help the grin that grew across his face, and he heard Sasuke cross his arms. He turned, and Sakura was watching his clones pass by, confusion slowly dawning on her features. "Hey," he began, watching both of them look at him briefly, "Sasuke. Why'd you give up so easily? It doesn't seem like you."

"Hn." The prodigy threw his head back. "I didn't lose to you. I ended the contest early." He paused. "It was a good show." The brunette turned his shoulder towards the blond. 'Besides, you stated you were going to do the paperwork. Even the price of feeding your huge gullet is worth not having to do that."

The Uchiha launched himself into the treetops, and a few passing Naruto clones stopped momentarily to stare (or, more accurately, "glare") at him. Sakura watched Naruto's grin slowly darken, blonde eyebrows drawing together. "You'd better get on that paperwork, Na-ru-to-kun." She teased, her finger wagging on every syllable of his name. She walked off, pausing as she spotted Cheery, who was happily washing a particularly dirty statue of a chubby, smiling man who looked like the first Akimichi.

Naruto watched her leave, watched the branches bend under Sasuke's weight as he attempted to boss a few of his clones around. He frowned, but the anger that had oozed into him seconds before - the same tart-tasting anger from the bridge - had gone away, back to where ever the hell it came from in the first place.

He glanced around again, and moved to a picnic table that was already cleared off by several of his clones. "Hey," he began, patting one Naruto in the back, "Have you seen Foreman?"

The clone snorted. "You'd know where he'd be better than me. I just got here five minutes ago." The Original frowned, and the clone waved his hands in front of himself. "Geez, don't get pissy about it. I just meant that, well, can't you track him or something? I wasn't there at the library - you just made me, after all - but, well, maybe he still is?"

The Kyuubi-vessel puckered his lips. "Huh. When you say that you were just created..." and he paused, making the clone cock his head in wonder, "what do you mean? Aren't the same group of Bunshins being ...eh, "recycled" every time I pull out the jutsu?"

The clone snorted. "Hell if I know. I've woken up in the middle of fights a couple of times, but that's about it." The clone stopped. "Hey, boss. Do you think that this counts as talking to yourself? It's kinda like you have multiple personalities, but multiple bodies to show for it sometimes. How crazy are you, anyway?"

"Don't you have a job to do?" Naruto asked, watching the clone flinch away from his tone.

"Yeah, yeah. But, well, if you have questions, it's not like any of your clones'll know something you don't. I mean, we're all created the same way that you were when you made us, body, mind, and all that stuff. ...well, except for Glasses. Who the hell knows what he really has going on inside of him." There was a pause. "Well, I mean, except for that stick we all know is up his -"

"Work."

"Geez! You're pissy today. It's not like I'm gonna get the ramen, anyway. I mean, how will you know which of us cleans the most? It's not like you assigned us sectors or nothing. Hell, if you look hard enough, I bet a couple of us are hiding under bushes."

"Whoa. You actually have a point." The original blond paused. "Well, pass it around that ...uh... geez. I'm gonna poof anyone that I catch lazing around. Oh! I got it! How about a contest! Yeah, a competition! The rules are that this place has to be clean at the end, otherwise no one is getting Ramen. But, well, you guys can poof each other, or work in teams, or any crap like that. Do whatever you need to do to do as much work, and poof out the other guys as you can."

"...geez." The clone crossed his arms over his head. "You have a lot of issues. I mean, having your personalities do the work for you and then destroy each other? Lazy 'n' crazy like the bastard kid of a Nara and Uchiha."

There was a sharp exploding sound, and seconds later, a dissipating cloud of smoke. "...Why are so many of me complete jerks?" The blonde shook his head quickly, exhaled, and called over to Cheery. "Hey! Got an errand for you!".

"Yeah, boss?" Cheery was identical to the other Orange-suit Naruto's in every way except for the silly smile plastered on his face, and the fact that, five minutes into waxing a fat statue, he was already absolutely filthy. His hair was ruffled, there were smears of mud on both cheeks, his forehead, and somehow, the back of his neck. One pant leg even looked torn, and there was something resembling a chain of ivy around one of his ankles. Cheery seemed completely unaware of it as he eagerly looked forward into his creator's eyes with the exact same expression Naruto had sometimes seen in the eyes of small toddlers and particularly excitable, small, yappy dogs. "What'cha got for me? Something fun, right? Oh man, I bet it's gonna be awesome! And, like, full of something neat like explosions or saving Sakura-chan from pirates, or something like that! Right?"

"Er, yeah. Something like that..."


The clearing looked like a completely different area of the forest, and Naruto couldn't help but feel a sense of pride that he - or, as it was, parts of him - had done most, if not all of it. It was a sense of accomplishment that he normally felt directly after his pranks and just before he got caught, and he wondered if part of the glee he felt came from the fact that all he had really needed to do was paperwork.

Truth be told, Naruto didn't exactly like having his clones do the work for him. Having his clones help out in battle was completely different than having his clones clean for him because technically, his clones were copies of him, and Naruto knew for a fact that he didn't mind battles, but really hated cleaning. As such, it seemed unfair to make himself work when he himself didn't want to.

Thoughts like that, however, always managed to twist his mind into knots, and it always took ages to get his train of thought back onto something that resembled a straight path, even when that straight path inevitably led off yet another cliff.

He knew that none of his clones (well, except for the one that Cheery had been standing on) particularly resented the fact that yesterday, he'd used to them sort through the BIRCH office. That had been for Ramen - which they'd all tasted later on because he'd tasted it- and for Makoto and Haruka. He would've sorted through all the papers alone if he would've had time, and part of him calmed down when he realized the same thing applied today. If Glasses were here, he probably would've taken the paperwork, and Naruto would've been cleaning along side his other selves.

Naruto wondered for a moment, and sent out thin threads of chakra from his body. They immediately went taut, locating about two dozen clones in varying locations around the park, stretching out into the village, and a few were even in the far forests at the edge of town. He didn't know exactly just what he wanted to do, or even how to do it, but Naruto knew the end result he wanted. Concentrating, he sat down his pen and fanned out his fingers under the picnic table. He closed his eyes, and found his lips silently following his thoughts. He pictured Glasses, remembering the way he translated the Fire Lord's Book of Law (and Torture), the way that he dominated an entire table in the library with books and parchment, and then the clone's neat, precise script. He felt his own rope-like chakra protrude out, drifting in front of him lazily, searching for something to attach to. Carefully, he glued it to his memories of Glasses, and felt it.

Glasses was inside of his mind and suddenly, so was he.

It was a strange sensation, because as soon as Naruto knew (which was immediately), he was standing in front of the clone in much the same way that one could "stand" in the center of a jell-o mold. That is to say, there was very little standing going on, massive confusion, and a great sense of being out of place.

Naruto couldn't breathe, couldn't move, and couldn't do anything but look at his clone who, inside of his own (their own?) mind was dressed in a strange robe that almost looked like a karate outfit, but it was colored in a deep shade that was twisted between purple and black. True to his name, inside of his/their/Naruto's mind, Glasses did wear some, a thick square-shaped pair that made him look intelligent, older, and thirty percent more arrogant than before.

Glasses glanced at him once, then twice, and then shook his head in disgust. "You," he said, and somehow, his clone's voice didn't sound anything like his own, older, more proper, and accented with contempt, "shouldn't be here." There was a great pause, and Naruto felt his limbs sluggishly respond, and he could feel his chest break open as if his ribs were a treasure chest that someone just unlocked for the first time.

"You're not supposed to be here." Glasses continued, and somehow, the clone walked over to the Original, footsteps steady and unerring. He was close enough that Naruto would've felt his breath if the two had been anywhere but inside of thought, if Glasses was actually breathing. The clone stared deeply into Naruto's eyes, frowning at what he found. "You're not ready."

Naruto saw, rather than "felt", Glasses' arm move towards his stomach. It wasn't until he saw a red corona reflected in his clone's lens that he realized what the clone was touching.

The seal.

Panic surged through Naruto, because even if Glasses was still a part of Naruto, even if Glasses had nothing but good intentions (and, despite meeting him only twice, even Naruto knew better), Naruto knew for a fact that the seal was off limits.

"Come back when you're ready." The clone intoned before Naruto could even begin to flail. "Also," and the clone began backing away, his footsteps just as steady and straight backwards as they were forwards, his eyes never leaving Naruto's, "there's no "d" in "objective", and there's a run on sentence in your third answer."

Naruto opened his eyes - his own eyes - and he was quite certain that he was the one doing it. Underneath the table, his fingers flexed, and he didn't realize how badly he needed air until he began breathing it. It burned his throat, just like how it felt when he ate something incredibly spicy, and for the rest of the day, even milk hurt it.

He glanced around, trying to focus his thoughts on not focusing anymore because it seemed that actually concentrating would just lead to trouble.

Sasuke was in the trees, using Secret Uchiha Ninjutsu to remove long trails of silly string from the high branches and Sakura was taking care of the stray bits of trash that had hidden themselves beneath bushes, under rocks, and inside of tree hollows in an attempt to survive the Great Cleansing. He reluctantly sensed his clones concentrating themselves around the small pond, and he wondered if, or exactly how, it was supposed to be cleaned.

He exhaled deeply, and picked up his pencil again and began to write, carefully erasing a spare "d" only because he found it and no one else. It was generally silent, except for Sakura's occasionally punctuated promises of pain as she jabbed something pointy, filthy, and very, very threatening into nearby pieces of trash, Sasuke's "gleeful" bounding through the treetops, and the scratch of pencil on paper. His clones were muttering to themselves, but that was out of (normal) earshot. The contrast to his previous missions - where he and Sasuke argued, he and Sakura argued, and he would get beat up by one or both - was shocking.

Under the paper plates, confetti, party favors, and layers of pulled off and terrorized leaves (because, as it turned out, the arch nemesis of Konoha's forests weren't shinobi, as Naruto had always figured, but small children who liked destroy things, which, of course, referred to all of them.), there was fresh, shoots of dark grass, and the trees actually looked healthier when they weren't coated in plastic. A few clones ambled by, coated from toes to nose in something dark brown, shooting dark looks at Sakura, the spotlessly clean fat statue wearing a party hat, and even the Original Naruto as they passed by with something resembling buckets full of yet more dark brown muck.

Naruto paused, sucked in his breath, and concentrated again, this time focusing on what exactly he'd learned in the last few minutes. Only one clone had dissipated in that time, and there was actually no pain involved in his memory dissipation because he actually hadn't learned anything from working in three feet of tar muck. Naruto learned that one clone with a noble posture and a certain familiar charisma had gathered the others in an attempt to clean out the pond. So far, they'd excavated about three layers, and they'd hit rock at eight feet. The clones carrying muck were ferrying it out of the forest and Naruto had a sudden understanding as to why some of his clones felt like they were as far away as the Hyuuga Compound because, as it turned out, they were in the Hyuuga compound.

In their excavations, they'd found four different layers of colored muck, each with tiny odds and ends in them. The top most layer was full of sandals and boots, the layer after that full of glasses, while at the very bottom, what had to be a couple hundred dollars in ancient looking coins were slowly being pulled out and cleaned.

The statue in the center turned out to be very pretty, after they took off three feet of "protective coating". It was a beautiful woman with sad looking eyes, holding an open umbrella in the crook of one arm, while her hands were occupied with a pitcher that was supposed to be pouring water. After massive jerry-rigging, fiddling, and (oddly enough), electrocution, the clones had actually managed to get fresh water out of the statue. Naruto assumed it was spring water, but decided that he didn't want to test his theory until the water in the pool didn't resemble liquorice.

Aside from that, the bushes had been trimmed, their branches and spare leaves bagged and sorted into compost piles. The plastics had been thrown into recycling, and the same went for the scattered glass bottles, ceramic sake containers, and rusted, abandoned shuriken. Most of the clones were staying away from Sakura because, while it was fantastic to work beside her, it was less appealing when she had something pointy in her hands. Besides, the clones noticed that she slowed, or even stopped, what she was doing to watch them work, and that wasn't helping anyone.

He glanced back at the paper, smirked, and finished one last line on the final paragraph, then signed his name on one last dotted line, his signature only drifting off the assigned blank by five letters. He glanced over to his pink-haired team mate with relief, leaning back and cracking his fingers.

"Hey! Sakura-chan! What's the time again?"

"Five minutes later than it was the last time you asked, dummy." There was a rustle, from the bushes across from the picnic tables, and then a pause. "About forty five minutes after the hour." Sakura stepped out, pulling stray leaves from her hair and then brushing off an excess of what Naruto knew were small, painful spiked seeds of doom that attached themselves to clothing and never let go. She glanced at Naruto, and he felt his stomach fizzle and flop in strange new ways as her eyebrows raised. "You're finished already?" She glanced at her watch, shaking her arm. "You really did fill those out quickly."

There was a pause.

"Wait, do you even know how to fill out paperwork? Oh god - what have I done?! The paper's probably written in code, with tiny illustrations in the margins, and I'll have to fix it all. Please, please tell me you've filled out paperwork - properly - before." She was pleading at the end of it, and despite himself, Naruto sweatdropped, shifting his hands just so that one of the less wrinkled forms covered the back side of the last page, which had a large panel of comics that would prove her point and cause him great, horrible pain because of it.

"Well, yeah. I mean, Kakashi even let me fill out his tax forms yesterday." Naruto remembered with a wince that particular fact, and mentally shuddered from the trauma.

Kakashi's tax forms were some of the most horrifying documentation he'd ever seen. It wasn't just the fact that Kakashi waited four years to do the last five year's worth of taxes, or the fact that large portions of his income had been allocated to weapons, armor, medical supplies, and five other categories that were censored and marked "classified". It might of had something to do with the way that Kakashi organized his paperwork, a system that might of made sense to a one eyed savant who could read the jonin's thick, scrawling script (which could've been cursive, could've been sloppy print, could've been a high, secret ninja code, and could've just been to spite whoever did his paperwork), but more than likely only made sense to Kakashi himself (when he was drunk).

What was certain about Kakashi's paperwork was the fact that it would haunt him for the rest of his life. To decode it, he'd had to devote four bunshin to translating the paper, scrambling through the dictionary, and frantically searching through the "Rules and Regulations, BIRCH branch, Konoha v.2.0.4 (d)" for information on how to actually do taxes, and comparing the forms to the returns of the other Jonin instructors. Sadly, he remembered all of it.

Despite the fact that the man was obviously insane, despite his horrible hairstyle and sense of fashion, and despite the fact that he was knowingly passing his madness onto the next generation of ninja, Naruto had a deep, lasting admiration of Maito Gai. Out of all the jonin instructors in nearly thirty years of paperwork, there was no disputing the fact that Maito Gai had the neatest handwriting, the easiest ledgers, and the most sensible allocations of funds. Gai's income was divided neatly into "Training", "Living Needs", and "Mission Supplies", of which Konohagakure reimbursed for two.

The Kyuubi-vessel doubted anyone else in Konoha knew it (including Gai himself), but the leotard-clad madman was easily the richest Jonin in the entire village. Kurenai had a modest savings, having inherited a house from merchant parents as a young chuunin. The Sandaime's son lived with his father, but wasted a lot of his money on his various addictions (which were in no way limited to just gambling and cigarettes), and Kakashi's ledger spoke for itself, though "spoke" wasn't quite as accurate as "wept in darkness bemoaning it's own existence."

Naruto shook his head. "Ugh, yeah. I've done taxes, mission reports, inventory lists, and damage statements, on top of looking through genin evaluations, academy reports, and that final report from the Fish and Game Committee's study on how chakra effects young fish."

Sakura paused. "Wait, how would chakra get near the fish?" She stopped, and Naruto saw a light shining behind her eyes, her features gradually morphing into surprise, wonder, than understanding. "Tree walking."

Naruto paused. "Uh, Sakura-chan? I don't know what part of the forest you've been in, but I gotta say that I've never seen a fish in a -" He was cut off by a sharp look from his team mate.

"No, dummy! Tree-walking! Remember when we were training on it, and Kakashi said that it built up chakra control and reserves? Remember how, to make it work, our chakra is actually touching the tree? What if we could do the same thing with water...?" she trailed off, and Naruto heard her mutter something like "Fish walking?". He blinked.

"Okay, so if fish live in water...we'd need to be touching fish to get chakra into them?" Sakura stood straighter in that moment. "...Couldn't we just touch the water? I mean, does chakra disperse like that, or does it just go straight through like, uh, an arrow?" He sucked his lip, his hands reaching for the notebook at his side. He stopped, seeing Sakura watching his movements, but shrugged and fetched it anyway. His hands sketched "Tree - Fish - Water - Arrow?", with a line connecting it to "Chakra?". Quickly, he hid it away, his hands bumping through the spare trip wire, linen-wrapped shuriken, and a large, paper-wrapped bag he'd completely forgotten about.

His stomach gurgled, and several clones stopped. One even ducked into the bushes and covered his head, assuming the classic "Exploding Tag! We're all gonna die!" posture. Naruto laughed nervously.

"Eh, hey! Guys!" More clones stopped, and Sakura looked at Naruto oddly. "I mean, Sakura and Bastard!" There was a rustling the trees above them, and Naruto could swear it sounded threatening. "Wanna have lunch with me?"

Sakura tapped her watch with one finger. "I don't think we really have time for that. I mean, in the time it'll take for us to get to the Hokage's tower to submit the reports..." She trailed off as a white-clothed Naruto snatched the papers from Naruto's extended hand, leaping past the bushes in less time than it took to blink. Naruto smirked, and Sakura frowned. "Well, I mean, I only brought a small lunch..."

Naruto waved her off. "Eh, I have a feeling I packed enough for all of us." He glanced up, and Sasuke was crouched on a thin, branch above them, frowning even further than usual. "And don't you dare say that this cooking isn't good enough for you, because I'll just kick your ass."

Sasuke scowled, leaping from the tree with a modest three sumersaults and a half-turn, landing on the ground with no sound and only a small displacement of dust. "I'm in no mood for ramen today."

Sakura pouted. "I thought Sasuke was taking me...I mean "us"...out to dinner!" She glanced towards Sasuke, and Naruto felt something twist inside of his stomach because her gaze screamed that she was hungry for something, and it sure wasn't food.

Naruto's glance was drawn towards the small jerk of Sasuke's hand. For anyone else, it would've been dismissed as reflex, but for the Uchiha, there were no reflexes. Naruto had seen, on the rare few occasions that the three of them had gone out to dinner before, that Sasuke kept his money in a fashionable leather wallet, kept in the same pocket as he was reaching for. "Hey," he started, and Sakura and Sasuke both glanced his way. "What day is it today?"

Sakura paused. "Tuesday. The twelfth," she continued at Naruto's continued glance. "You know, despite the fact that you claimed experience doing paperwork, the fact that you don't know what day it is really isn't a huge confidence builder.'

Naruto ignored her. He knew exactly what that small mote of worry lurking in Sasuke's eye was as he had often seen it in his own, and he knew sympathy (because Sasuke would kill him if he called it "pity") for the last Uchiha.

There were many funds in Konoha. The Shinobi Widow's Fund (which had Widowers in it, too), The Scholarship for Shinobi Excellence, for civilians with low-incomes but high-potential children, the Kyuubi Relief Fund, and the War Orphans's Bi-Weekly. There were dozens of others, hidden in the cracks of bureaucracy, and Naruto realized with something like awe and something like horror that he now knew them all.

Naruto had always heard that the Uchiha had been an influential clan in Konoha, a fact that was still in evidence because even one Uchiha was enough to send council elders into fits about custody, education, and usage. Naruto wasn't immune to the fact that he'd gotten even icier glares from select village Elders after his team's members had been announced, and no one and nothing could change the mind of the Hokage, who had approved his team himself. There was a great deal of speculation about how the Kyuubi-vessel would corrupt the Last Uchiha, and Naruto had picked most of it up through eavesdropped conversations and a small bit of direct confrontation.

So far, the most he'd managed to "corrupt" Sasuke with was a kiss (which still repeated in his nightmares at least once a week), a brief lesson on hocking loogies over the balconies of the Hokage's Tower, and a quicker way to set trip wires around camp, a method that the blond had refined in his early pranking days.

Naruto had tried other times to "connect" (because "bond" seemed like such a creepy way to put it) with the Uchiha, but there had always existed something like a wall between them, and Naruto truly couldn't figure out if that was a good thing or not. On one hand, Sasuke did nothing but degrade his abilities, mock his weaknesses, distract Sakura-chan from seeing Naruto's incredible feats of manliness, and serve as the poster boy for stuck up, arrogant, over-powered brats. On the other hand, Sasuke was his team mate, and though he honestly couldn't remember who he heard say it, one quote stuck in his mind.

"Your team will be your family."

He and Sasuke were, despite all the differences in their lives, very much alike. They were orphans, though Sasuke's family was killed off later on, and Naruto just got some of his back. They were separated from the rest of the village, Sasuke because of his "potential", and Naruto for his lack of it. They struggled for their own recognition, battled for their own talents to be called out, and each had a goal that they would give their life to achieve (though, frankly, dying to become Hokage would give Naruto a very short reign). Both he and Sasuke, apparently, were also incredibly broke between the seventh and the twenty first of each month.

It had something to do with bureaucracy, and something to do with the lousy civilian mail system, but the fund disbursements from Konoha's various funds always came within a certain period of time, and always ran out in a much shorter period of time than that. Old Man Sarutobi had, at about the time that Naruto had started the Academy, sat him down and forced accounting down his throat. It was because of this that Naruto could manage his own money, and also because of this that Naruto had gradually accumulated enough spare cash that he actually needed a bank account for it.

When he was much younger, however, he'd spend it in exactly the ways he wasn't supposed to - paying off one bill in it's entirety, and having nothing left over for food for two weeks, or buying a full pantry of food and having no electricity. Of course, Naruto had coped, spending extra time in the Hokage's office during long, cold winters, and taking huge portions of the Academy supplied lunches. Not to mention, of course, Ichiraku's constant supplements to his diet as a small child.

The twelfth of any given month was one of the worst days for the impulse spender, because it left just about ten days for the next check to come in. Ten days of worrying, of stress, and of something Naruto was sure Sasuke was very familiar with, guilt.

Part of Naruto wanted to ask up front why Sasuke need to rely on checks from the Orphan's Relief Fund (because obviously, Sasuke wasn't a Widow, had all his limbs, and had never given birth to a shinobi-baby, which eliminated quite a few of the options) when the Uchiha clan was reputed to be so wealthy, but somehow knew that the question was the equivelent of covering himself in cats and running into the Inuzuka compound. In short, a very, very painful mistake.

Instead, Naruto scratched the side of his neck easily. "Eh," he began, and the blonde could see Sasuke look his way through a cracked eye, "I kinda owe you half a bento, remember? This way, you can't call me up on it later, and I'll be able to really milk my next big favor." He cocked his head. "Kakashi said we had an hour for this mission. Well, the hour's almost up, the paperwork's submitted, and we have at least half an hour, probably more, to kill before he shows up again. I don't know about you, but I'd rather be eating." He stopped. "Well?"

"...it had better not be Ramen, idiot." Sasuke had taken one step forward, and then another, and before Naruto knew it, they were all seated at one of the newly cleaned picnic tables. Naruto was sitting alone (like usual) on one side, and Sasuke was across from him, Sakura sitting far too close to Sasuke for either boy's comfort

"Right! Let's see what I have here." Naruto hummed as he tore open the wrapped sack of food (because it really didn't qualify as just a "bag"), taking out a sandwich, a bag of chips, a small container of nuts, three pieces of unidentifiable fruit, and a small block that still felt cold. He paused and glanced at his team. Sakura looked like she was halfway between a question and a heart attack, and Sasuke was looking hungrily at the sandwich. Naruto had the feeling that, if Makoto were actually here, she'd be straping a funnel into Sasuke's mouth and forcing him to actually eat something for once.

Three sandwiches (tomato, turkey, and something that was red, round, and smelled sweet, yet was apparently made of meat), three more pieces of fruit, a stack of crackers, a container of cheese, two small pints of milk, a piece of moist chocolate cake, three more bags of chips in different flavors, and a small container full of smiley-face shaped chocolate chip pancakes left over from breakfast later, Sakura wasn't even trying to hide the twitch of her eye, and Sasuke wasn't trying to hide the hunger on his face.

"Well, damn." He paused, taking in the fact that Makoto was apparently the long lost master of Ninja Lunch Packing, before rubbing his hands together. "Well, let's eat. Dibs on the sandwich with that red whatever-it-is in it!".

It turned out to be less of a meal and more of a war-zone. Naruto didn't exactly know how Sasuke managed to propel a third of an apple half-way across the park without trying, and he never wanted to remember the look on Sakura's face when he reached for that slice of chocolate cake, even though he knew it would haunt his nightmares. Fruit passed overhead in an impromptu juggling act that even got a smirk out of Sasuke, and Sakura managed to get both containers of milk open after both Naruto and Sasuke "loosened them for her". Sakura's "small lunch" was brought out and laid on the table, but Naruto found that most of her traditional bento was over looked in favor of his grandmother's cooking.

He couldn't help the smile that crept across his features when he thought about Makoto at home. He just knew that she'd love the fact that other people loved her cooking. He slowed down his murderous rampage against the Tomato Sandwich civilazation (he'd been running campaigns against the Food Continent since he was five, and Kyuubi or no Kyuubi, he wasn't going to stop it now or ever), because he could imagine the smile lighting up her face, and for a moment, even food didn't seem as important as that.

"Oh? What's this?" Sakura's voice was curious, and Naruto woke from his fantasy to glance at her. She held his lunch sack in one hand, and a white envelope in the other. She must've sensed Naruto watching her, because she turned his way. "I found this hidden at the bottom." She grinned, and Naruto could practically feel the evil in her eyes. "Is it a love note? You can't cook like this - We've eaten your mission cooking before. It must be a girlfriend!" She concluded, holding the envelope up to a sunset sky rich with scarlet and streaks of dark, almost violet clouds as if she were holding it up to the noon day sun. Naruto pouted. She really didn't seem broken up about it. At all. Or, in any way, shape or form. Mentally, he crossed off "Make her Jealous" from his "Ways to get Sakura-chan to recognize how awesome I am!" list.

"Pshaw," Sasuke spat, and Naruto paused because he never heard anybody actually say that before, "There's no way that the idiot could possibly have a girlfriend." Naruto mentally added "...before me." at the end of that, because Sasuke actually sounded worried.

The Uchiha reached over and plucked the envelope from Sakura's hands, and she actually looked rather put-out because of it. He easily tore open one edge of the envelope, and Naruto launched across the top of the table, suddenly struck by the revelation that, since Makoto packed his lunch, it would stand to reason that Makoto wrote the letter, and there was no telling what revealing lines were hidden in there.

But, despite Naruto's continual efforts for the last few months, Sasuke was still faster than he was, especially when he didn't have his legs twisted around a bench like Naruto did.

"Dear Naruto," Sasuke began, jumping on the table and swiftly leaping onto the branches above them. Sakura began grabbing the small, empty containers before Naruto could crush them as he flopped and struggled to get free.

"Don't say another word, Sasuke! I'm warning you!" Naruto growled. He saw a flash of red in the corner of his vision, and he realized that it was actually Sakura. He felt her hands wrap around his ankles and suddenly, he had the strangest urge to go very, very still. Those few moments were all Sakura needed to untie part of his leg-wrap and weave it into the other one, making the most effective bind he'd ever been in. "Oh, that's just no fair."

He sighed, and resigned himself to the fact that all of his secrets would be revealed in a few short minutes. Well, he consoled himself, except for the Kyuubi thing.

"Dear Naruto," Sasuke began again with a smirk, leaping back down from the branches to stand only feet away from Naruto, balanced on the bench as if he were the key speaker at a prestigeous conference. Naruto glared at him fiercly, wishing for all the world that Sakra would let go of his legs . "Last night was one of the best nights of my life, because meeting you gave me a new reason to live. I can't stop thinking about the time we shared, and I realize now that it wasn't enough - I want more. It's strange that I want so much of you and of your time, but there are so many things I want to know about you. Your favorite food. Your favorite song. Your hopes, your dreams, your passions. I want to spend the rest of my life by your side, and my only hope is that you feel the same way.

I only hope some of what I feel for you came through in this letter, because even during those few occasions we spent in the kitchen, the laundry room, and in your living room, I couldn't find words to tell you what I truly felt. I wish I could be with you now, when you read this. I wish that I could say this to your face."

Sasuke's tone was weak and sickly by the last sentence, each word squeaking its way out only because his tongue had been so intent on reading it that it hadn't stopped. Sakura, behind him, went slack, and he felt her hands loosen around his ankles. That was the chance he needed - he twisted his body, forcing all his muscles tense. He winced when he realized that he used part of Sakura's stomach as a springboard, but had to concentrate on doing a quick flip that sent him onto a handstand on the picnic table. The handstand flawlessly morphed into an attack, because as he twisted again, he used his arms to wrap around Sasuke's neck.

Naruto's weight forced them both to the ground, and Naruto had to brace himself with his elbows to keep from falling on Sasuke and smothering the bastard (though, it would only serve him right). In all the effort, though, Makoto's letter hadn't left the Uchiha's hands, and Sasuke squeaked out the last few lines, the sound almost muffled by Naruto's clothing.

"I love you, Naruto, and I long for the day when we can say such things to each other without shame."

There was a great and horrible pause, and something like a cross between a scream and a gasp from Sakura. It sounded like air rushing from a tea kettle.

"Aaaah," and Naruto knew who the voice belonged to just as surely as he knew that he truly, deeply wished to die. Inevitably, his eyes met Sasuke's in equal horror. "I see I'm interupting something." There were footsteps, and both Sasuke and Naruto watched two familiar feet stop beside them. There was complete and utter silence in the entire clearing, before Kakashi squatted down so that both boys could see his face. "But, don't stop on my account."

"OH GOD." was chorused with "PERVERT", and the two boys struggled to seperate from each other. But, Naruto's legs were still tied, and Sasuke was too focused on getting away that he didn't realize that lifting his hips only made the situation worse. Grasping for some extra leverage, Naruto braced his hands against the taller boy's shoulders, firmly pressing him to the ground. Unfortunately, this pressed his wrapped legs in between Sasuke's, and both boys screamed even louder than before.

"Aaah, you know..." Kakashi began, one eye wide as one hand scratched near his eyebrow, "I didn't mean that literally. You can stop any time now." There was more frantic scrambling to get seperated, which predictably only made things that much worse. "Seriously."

"Oh, for heaven's sake!" Sakura snapped, stomping over to the three males, one hand, oddly enough, covering her lower face. She used her other hand to haul Naruto up by the back of his sweatshirt, letting go of him sharply as he stood up. With a shaky nod, the blonde began working on untying her handiwork, concentrating on that and nothing else.

The kunoichi took one of Sasuke's hands and pulled him up. Shakily, he stood, running one hand through his hair, breathing evenly.

This lasted for about a minute until his face turned even paler than his normal milky complexion, and he ran off into the bushes. There was the sound of massive heaving.

Naruto saw Kakashi sweatdrop and scratch the back of his head, and concentrated that much harder on finally untying the last knot in his leggings. There was a sick, coppery smell, and Naruto jerked up, only to see Kakashi do the same. The two males found their gaze fastened to Sakura, whose cupped hand slowly drew back.

"Oh, geez. Sakura, I thought I just hit your stomach! When did I get your nose?". The blonde quickly reached into his courier's bag, easily pulling out the ready-sterilized bandages inside of a hidden pocket. He handed them to her, and she looked away. The Kyuubi-vessel's heart sank.

"...You didn't." Her voice was dull, but she was watching Kakashi, who suddenly began laughing.

"What do you mean?" He wondered. "How did you get a nosebleed if you weren't hit?"

"Drop it right now, Uzumaki, if you want to live to see your girlfriend again." The kunoichi balled the bandages and tilted back her head.

"What?" Kakashi gasped, one hand suddenly clutching his chest, "You mean, our little Naruto-kun really does have a girlfriend?"

Sakura waved one hand to where both Naruto and Sasuke had laid together just moments before. She quickly turned around, looking for all the world as if she loved looking at the sunset, and the massive bloodstain on her uniform was just a design (which, for a kunoichi, could've actually been true).

Before Naruto could even start sprinting towards the letter, Kakashi bent over to pick it up. "Dear Naruto," he sang, and suddenly went silent, his eye darting back and forth as he read the lines. His eyebrows rose, his eyes got wide, and Naruto could see the older man's lips move under his mask. The jonin even glanced up at him a few times, as if associating Naruto with the letter at hand.

Abruptly, the jonin stood. "Well, I have to say that I'm impressed, Naruto." The blonde raised an eyebrow, and Kakashi happily continued. "In all my years, I have to admit that I've never gotten a thank you note from a girl for the night before."

Naruto's brain stopped. "W-what?"

"I'm so very proud! But, you have to be careful. She talks about love and togetherness an awful lot - you might want to run away before she starts asking for a ring." His tone became very serious. "It's very difficult to run away at that point, because they're usually wise enough to use drugs at that stage." He paused. "Or, are you dating a civilian?"

"D-dating?" Naruto's fingers twitched.

The jonin made a noise in his throat and turned towards the blonde. "Oh, you mean you're not dating? It was just a one-time fling?" There was a silence, and it sounded like Sakura was choking. The sounds of Sasuke's heaving blended into the background noise of the forest far too easily. "Very good!" The jonin crowed.

Naruto sweatdropped.

"Now, did you use protection last night?" For the first time, Kakashi actually sounded like Iruka, the question asked with the same mothering tone that the Academy teacher used.

"...I had a few kunai left in my clothes. Why?"

"...Er, Naruto, that's not quite what I meant." He paused, his head cocked as if in deep thought. "Do you know how some shinobi use katanas, and those katanas are contained in sheaths? Well..." He stopped. "Wait, maybe I'm getting this wrong. This girl - what's her name?" Kakashi asked, and Naruto, so deeply in denial that the entire scene was taking place, could only answer in hopes that it would continue and reveal itself to be a dream.

"Makoto. Her name's Makoto. She's not a ninja." He had to concentrate not just on breathing in, but out as well, something he discovered after a few unsuccessful attempts at making his brain explode. Apparently, it - or the fox - refused to put him out of his mercy.

"Ah, Makoto. Right, right. "Sincere". Very nice. Anyway...not a kunoichi. Is she around your age, then?" Kakashi idly taped the letter with two fingers, scrolling down the page as if looking for certain words.

Naruto shook his head. "Nope. Older." Vaguely, he realized that part of his head was making a plan. He didn't know exactly what Kakashi was getting at, but perhaps there was a way to keep his grandmother a secret for just a while longer.

"Ah. So, well, there's no real way to ask this nicely. Is she a "Lady of the Night"?" The way Kakashi spoke the word was on the same level of respect as when he talked about the Hokage. Sakura, off to the side, squeaked. The bushes off to the side rattled, and Sasuke stumbled out, looking for all the world completely exhausted.

Naruto thought back to the night previous, and the way that Makoto kept yawning towards the end of their conversation at Ichiraku's, and then during their talk at the fountain. He shook his head. "No, I think she's more of a morning person."

Kakashi's face, for lack of a better word, fell. He tapped his cheek with one finger. "Well, let me ask you this. Last night, she stayed with you?" Kakashi continued on even before Naruto nodded. "Now, was there money involved in this?"

"Well, yeah. She kept wanting to pay me, but I told her-". Sakura choked, and Kakashi nodded thoughtfully.

Sasuke shook his head. "He's trying to ask you if Makoto is a prostitute, you idiot."

A ball of anger as red-hot and large as the sun exploded in his belly, and it was this fire that fueled his super-human speed. A breath hadn't passed a single lip before Naruto swung his fist at Sasuke, hitting the side of the Uchiha's face full on. He pulled his fist back for another hit, but Sakura had grabbed a hold of his elbow, and Kakashi was suddenly standing in back of him, one large hand on Naruto's smaller shoulder. The blonde couldn't see it, and couldn't say afterwards if Kakashi-sensei and Sakura had caught it either, but Sasuke couldn't but notice the way the blonde's face almost seemed more angular, the whisker markings darker and deeper than before. Naruto growled, words falling from his lips like hisses.

"I'll kill you if you talk about my Grandmother like that again!"

The first thought Naruto had was that the world really should've ended as soon as he said that. It certainly ruined his plan to keep Makoto a secret, and it certainly seemed to rearrange the world completely. Instead of the world rotating around the sun, the entire universe hinged on the small point of contact between Kakashi's hand and Naruto's shoulder. Naruto creaked his neck around, slowly trying to see the jonin from the corner of his eye. There should've been a stunned silence, but instead, Sakura was asking questions that filled the air incomprehensibly, and Sasuke was rubbing the already coloring flesh of his cheek with a frown, and a thoughtful pause that spoke volumes, as it was filled with all the ways that he would make Naruto pay for the hit later on.

"Naruto," Kakashi began, and the blonde's heart sank because his sensei's voice wasn't filled with wonder, wasn't even close to the playful tone Kakashi could adopt on a dime. Instead, it was dull, dead and at the same time angry. The only word for it was focused. Kakashi was focused on him in much the same way that the teachers had looked at him in the academy when he did something spectacularly stupid. "What have you done?"


YES! Finished this chapter. Thank goodness.

Thanks for all the reviews so far. They're huge ego-boosts, and my favorite part has to be when you guys quote your favorite lines. I know that when I read fics, there are always lines that echo in my thoughts for days upon days, and I really hope I'm passing some of those along in my own way.

Anyway, had more Team 7 interaction, and I'm actually proud of most of it. Yes, there is a lot of action with the clones, but frankly, I'm beginning to like where it's going. Naruto has also been tagged as more intelligent than he is in canon. Well, I'm going to play my "First Fic!" card in Defence Mode, thus protecting my Life Points from attack. (I apologize for being a huge nerd). When I read the manga, I automatically try to reason why the characters act the way that they do, and believing that Naruto really can't be as stupid as he looks sometimes helps me get through some of the most embarrassing chapters.

But, yeah. Hope you had fun with this chapter, because it was really hard to eek this out at the start. Questions, comments, and anything else are more than welcome. ...Enjoy!