A/N's: Thank you all for coming back to read Ch8 after the FFN fail last week. The up side to posting the chapter Monday meant that we had less time to wait for Ch9! Yay!

AcrossTheSkyInStars, thank you from the bottom of my heart for you beautiful Beta skills and for always advising me and letting me rant. Congratulations on completing your first Fic "Last First Kiss" and on getting over 100 reviews!

I've fallen in love with Amos Lee and listened to "Careless" and "Not myself" as well as "Colours" whilst writing this chapter.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer created an Idol and Rpattz gave us the visual, and oh how I love to visualise him.


Ch9 Colours

I had no idea how long we lay together; I just counted our breaths and not the minutes, enjoying the feel of Edward pressed up behind me. He nestled his nose into the crook of my shoulder.

The small room we were enclosed inside had warmed up with my body heat and the hot breath Edward had expelled from me, and after we'd made love, the coolness of his skin had been a comfort. But it didn't take long for him to cool me down again. I shivered but tightened my hold on his arm. I didn't want him to let go. I never wanted him to let go.

"You're cold," Edward stated and I started to object, but another shudder belied my words.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, loath to ruin our time together.

Edward kissed the back of my neck again, and as he moved his nose over my skin he exhaled, the tickle of his sweet, chilled breathe made me shiver again, but this time in anticipation. Moving his hands up my ribcage he cupped my breasts and laughed as my nipples puckered under his palm.

"Shall we warm you up again?" He suggested, turning me to face him.

His eyes were still dark; the red glimmer surrounding the iris was vibrant but only detectable at a close distance. There was something about those eyes that surrendered me.

I bit my lip and nodded, laying flat on my back as he moved above. I could feel him press against me, from our naked chests to our naked toes, and even though he held himself off so as not to crush me, I craved more of him. I wanted to feel his weight and wrapping my arms around his back, I pulled him in tighter. Edward's body responded to mine, the heat between my thighs emanating to his groin, and as I watched, his eyes became hooded and his smile became seductive. It was all my body needed to prepare for him. I felt the warmth spread and knew I was ready. He never needed to touch me, always with his look and I was a pool of desire for him.

He relented a little but not enough to relax fully. With his elbows supporting him, his hands lay beside my head. Edward lifted them to brush my hair away from my face.

"Bella," he whispered, gazing at my face and I blushed. He smiled at the heat he could feel in my cheeks and bending he kissed each in turn before gently kissing my lips. He felt so soft and I wondered how he could be so indestructible yet pliable to my touch. He was cool and hard, but running my hands over his bare back his body moulded to the contours of my hand, and as he sighed and his sweet scent assaulted my senses, I closed my eyes with the sheer wonder that was Edward.

His kiss was long and unhurried; our lips remained closed and softly cradled each other. I could feel his breath against my cheek as he exhaled and it tickled my skin right up to my ear. His hands held my face and mine held him across his back, gently pulling him into me as much as I dared.

I felt so much for him, it was a jumble in my mind and I couldn't focus on any one thing. Edward had made love to me, he'd told me he loved me and had touched me, body and soul, like no other man ever could or would again.

I hadn't said it back to him, not because I didn't feel it but because I was so afraid. I had no idea what the future held for Edward and I. We were sitting on a moment in time and I had to enjoy every precious second I had with him. If I told him I loved him too, what would we do then? It wouldn't change anything.

Despite the ray of light those simple words had radiated into my life, it didn't change the fact that we were prisoners in a psychotic game. I was soon to be taken from this room and back to my cell or worse, back to James's rooms. Edward would remain down here until we could return him to his cell without arousing suspicion. But until then we would be apart and just thinking it made me feel lonely.

James may very well want me to lie with him again and the mere thought of that monster's hands on my body made me feel nauseous. He repulsed me. But for the sake of Edward, Ava, and Esme I had to remain stoic and strong and make James believe I hated Edward.

But Edward had promised he would never allow that man to touch me again. He couldn't bear it and I worried about the part he had to play. Would he be able to control himself if James had his way with me again?

Everything relied on the lies we had to weave.

And then there were Edward's baser instincts; he'd craved my blood and yet he resisted the urge to drink me dry. I didn't understand his control at that moment but I was thankful for it.

"Edward," I said softly, "can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"When you bit me –" I swallowed and tried again. "When you bit me, how could you resist? Didn't you want to carry on?"

Edward smiled. It held a hint of sadness but no regret. "Yes, I wanted to carry on, Bella. I wanted to consume you."

"Then, how?"

"I realised there were other ways I could – taste you." He playfully nipped at my ear lobe and then kissed it.

"Edward," I urged. I liked his playful mood but I was interested in his response.

He looked at me and sighed, "I had three options, Bella. I could drain you and live my life in empty, guilt-ridden loneliness. Or I could change you; be together for all eternity. Or I could mark you as mine and protect your life; bring meaning back into your heart as you have with mine."

"I like the second option," I whispered.

But Edward didn't reply, he just moved his lips to mine then along my jaw again. He was unhurried as he kissed me tenderly until he reached my ear. Moving down my neck he paused over the puncture marks, they had shrunk in size and had almost disappeared; leaving a faint scar which would be hidden by my hair.

As Edward kissed the scars he murmured, "mine, " before moving down to the curve of my neck, trailing kisses along my collarbone and back up to my chin.

"Always mine," he sighed as stroked his thumb across my cheek. "I have been alone for a long time Bella, and in all that time I have watched every descendent from my family come and go and with it the vague memory of the boy I used to be. In this – terrible place, I found bloodlines, I found family and I had no choice but to stay, no matter what it did to me. And I'm glad I did, because in staying I also found you." He bent and kissed the other side of my neck and I moaned with the tenderness he displayed.

"You have saved me in more ways than I can recall. How could I change anything about you when you're perfect to me, just the way you are?

"I'm not perfect, Edward," I replied. "I have faults, just like anybody else."

Edward shook his head. "Maybe you do," he kissed one cheek and then the other, "but that just makes you perfectly flawed." He smiled and then asked, "Do you want me?"

I nodded and shifting slightly I parted my legs so he would slide between them. I could feel his arousal and it felt so good against my skin. I knew what Edward did to me; I felt it every time he looked at me and to be able to feel his response was euphoric. I lifted my legs round his waist and hooked my feet together behind his back.

Without moving away from me, Edward tilted his hips and the tip of his erection found me.

With his kisses he had set the pace to slow, and pushing inside me, this didn't change. He slid in with such somnolent ease, I gasped as he filled me.

His motion remained centred on his hips and I lifted mine to meet him, thrust for thrust. It was agonizingly slow and our bodies stayed pressed together with not a sliver of light able to penetrate between us. All I could think about was his cock inside of me, the slow movement away from me, to the languid stroke back inside.

I opened my eyes and stared straight into his, his thumbs moved from my cheeks to the corners of my mouth and his eyes followed.

He bent to kiss each corner and then pressed gently on my top lip; sucking it into his mouth. He tasted me with his tongue all the time keeping his rhythm, his perfect, all consuming rhythm as I watched him devour me with such beautiful intensity. I knew I could've felt my heart stop in that instant and I wouldn't have died. He was my everything; my air, my life, my love, and being with him, as a man and woman were meant to be together, made all the colours of my life luminous.

I felt the sweet tingle of my orgasm building to this wonderful crescendo, and as my inner muscles gripped him and I arched my back with the joy of it, he still didn't quicken his pace. His mouth moved to the contours of my neck and across my chest to capture a nipple between his lips, and as I scratched at his skin and whispered his name, he lifted his face back to mine and begged me to say it again.

"Edward," I breathed as I felt his hips finally still, and each pulse of his orgasm as he held my face in his hands and my gaze with his own.

"Mine," was his response as we held each other and swirled back down from the glorious high we had risen to. Together; always together and I knew that even though I couldn't say the words, I loved him.

I wanted to lie with him for longer, but Edward raised his head from my neck, and smiling apologetically at me, he moved to stand.

"Carlisle," he said and I realised he was on his way back down to fetch me. Our time was up.

Edward held out his hand and helped me down from the table. We dressed in silence, taking glances at each other, shy smiles and naughty secrets behind our eyes.

The ties on the bodice of my dress were torn and it was almost impossible for me to fasten.

"Here, let me." Edward took hold and unthreaded the laces then carefully re-threaded them. Their length had been broken but he managed to close the front of the bodice with some success. It would hold me in for now.

When he was done tying me in, he cupped my face in his hands; bending he kissed me lightly on the lips and lingered there till Carlisle reached the door.

Without knocking, Carlisle opened it and came inside. He studied Edward holding me close but despite the obvious intimate connection, he didn't look away.

I turned to face him, causing Edward to break his hold on my face. Carlisle looked – regretful, and I suddenly knew he had some news. Fear gripped my stomach and I felt nauseous.

"What is it?" I asked, my voice trembling.

Carlisle didn't answer, he just stared at Edward. I looked between them and watched in frightened awe as Edward's softened stare became tense. Stepping away from me, he clenched his jaw and his hands curled into fists at his side.

"I'm sorry," Carlisle whispered.

"What?" I stepped forward. "What is it?"

Carlisle finally turned to face me, swallowing as he lifted his hands and rubbed my arms. "James is on his way back and you have been instructed to go to his chambers."

I started to shake my head, I had anticipated this but hope had led me to denial.

"We have to go now," Carlisle continued as he turned and walked to the door. I numbly followed him but before I could reach it Edward was between us, blocking my way.

"No," he said quietly, his hands shaking by his side.

"We have no choice," I replied. I looked at him and felt the sadness in his eyes was mirrored in my own.

"No," he stated again as I tried to step past him. Gripping my arms he spun me round so my back was facing Carlisle and the door. "I can't let you go."

"Edward, we have no choice."

"I'll kill him." His voice was strained. His temper overriding his coherent thought, his grip tightened, causing me to flinch.

"Edward," Carlisle moved beside us. "Let her go." He raised his hand and placed it over Edward's.

Realization registered on his face as he glanced down at my arms, they were red and I knew for certain bruises would follow. But I wasn't mad at him; I was touched by his concern.

"It'll be ok," I said, smiling gently, trying to ease his pain.

"How can it be ok?" He winced. "The next time I see you, you'll still have his touched stamped on your memory, his smell adhering to your skin. He'll be inside you and I want to rip him apart!"

"No." I shook my head and cupped his face in my palms. "No." I forced him to look at me. "It'll be your touch on my memory, Edward." I dropped one hand to his, and lifting it I placed it on my breast. Carlisle cleared his throat and stepped from the room. "This is the only touch I will feel; this."

Edward looked down at his hand and furrowed his brow. If he could cry I was certain tears would fall.

"And this," I leant up and pressed my nose to his neck, inhaling deeply, "this is the only scent that I can smell. It's imprinted here," I lifted my hand to my face and touched my nose, "and here." I moved it to my head and pointed at my temple, indicating Edward was forever in my memory, always on my mind.

"And here." I moved my hand down and covered his, which still lay over my breast, over my heart.

"No man can ever remove you from me Edward, because I'm yours." I lifted our hands together and touched our finger tips to my neck.

I dropped my hand but Edward's remained on my skin, his fingers gently following the lines of the small scars his teeth had left there. "Mine," he said softly and I nodded.

"Nothing will ever change that."

He looked up from my neck and captured my gaze with his own. His eyes were wide and his lips parted. This was such a struggle for him and it pained me to have to walk away.

Nodding, I stepped back and turned to the door.

"No!" Edward yelled, and before I could stop him he threw himself across the room and ripped the table from the floor. Holding it above his head like it was nothing more the kindling, Edward tossed the table against the wall.

It shattered into a thousand pieces, dust and bits of wood littered the air, landing like snowflakes in his hair.

Carlisle rushed into the room and placed himself between us. "Get out," he hissed under his breath as Edward turned to face us.

"No," I pleaded and reached out my hand to Edward.

"Isabella," Carlisle pleaded with me. "It isn't safe."

"He won't hurt me." Despite my assuredness I was still afraid. Edward was teetering on the edge and his strength knew no bounds. He breathed heavily and lowered his head to look at the debris scattered over the floor and then raised his eyes to look at me.

"Edward," I moved forward slowly, "Edward."

He remained still, only his shoulders heaving with his inner struggle. I walked carefully to stand immediately in front of him. I didn't touch him; I just waited with baited breath.

Moments passed and neither of us made a move. I could see Edward calming but his face still held his despair.

I never took my eyes off him. I wanted him to know that this hurt me as much as it hurt him. If I was to sit in a locked room and know of the deprived acts he would have to endure, it would break my heart for sure. He amazed me, since the day I'd met him he had shown remarkable self control; resisting James's torture, resisting my blood, and remaining imprisoned because he had placed the safety and life of a five year old child whom he had never met, above his own.

Yet now, with the threat of my leaving him to spend the evening in another's arms, his control was diminished and in its place was raw emotion. Edward couldn't save me from this and he knew it. But just as he'd told me, Edward too had saved me in so many other ways, and I needed him to get a grip. We had to make James believe that he was winning and to do that Edward had to remain calm and I had to remain submissive.

We both stood unmoving, staring at each other, desperately begging the other to understand. Finally Edward made the first move. In the blink of an eye, he pulled me to his chest and held me. I buried my face in his shirt and gripping it tightly I breathed in as much of him as I could; I literally filled my lungs with his scent.

With frenzy, Edward threaded his fingers through my hair and lifted my face to his.

With urgency I couldn't deny, his lips claimed mine and we kissed as if it were our last.

Tasting each other, mouth versus tongue, breath versus touch, senses assaulted by senses.

I could feel him against my swollen lips and smell him in my hair. I could still feel his hands as they roamed over my body, memorizing every inch of me and I the same with him.

Until at long last we had to part. I stepped away from him, tearing my mouth from his and my hands from his body. I stroked one palm down his bicep until I reached his hand. I squeezed it in mine, feeble but sure he would recognise the gesture and he did, gently squeezing mine in return.

Carlisle opened the door again and held out his hand to me. I took Carlisle in my left hand and continued to hold Edward in my right.

"I'll take care of her, Edward, I promise," Carlisle vowed.

Edward shook his head. "No, Carlisle. Don't make promises you can't keep."

Carlisle tugged me in the direction of the door and reluctantly I followed. Our hands slid apart, leaving our fingertips touching and as I walked through the door and it closed quietly behind me, only then did I drop my hand.

"Bella," I heard him call through the door. It was wrought iron and his voice was muffled. I pressed my hand against its cold frame. But said nothing, for what could I say?

I looked over at Carlisle he nodded sadly, and still holding my hand we made our way up the stairs. From the depths of my heavens and into the bowels of hell, I trudged my way to James.


The door was locked when we arrived and Hale was stood guard. He avoided my eyes as he unlocked and opened it for me. I walked inside and didn't bother to bid Carlisle goodbye.

I thought he'd left until I felt his hands press down on my upper arms. "I would do anything...." He said and I sighed.

"No, not anything Carlisle, but you would do what you could and that at least, is enough."

"This isn't right."

"No, it isn't, but we have no choice."

"I'll think of something, Isabella, I promise."

"Do you mean you'll find the second half to your plan?" I turned to face him, a small smile hiding how scared I actually was.

He smiled too. "Yes, the second half to my plan." He leant forward and kissed my forehead and then patting my arm, he left me alone.

I stood in the centre of the room and held my arms across my chest. My throat felt constricted and I swallowed past the lump, struggling to find air. I couldn't breathe and I felt too hot. I rushed over to the window and tried to open it.

I needed air; I needed cool air and I heaved in big, raking breaths, fighting down the panic rising inside me.

The window wasn't locked and after a brief struggle I swung it open and gulped in as much as I could. The cold breeze swept over me and I relished it. My skin felt slick with sweat and as the air touched the beads of perspiration sticking to my face and neck, they stopped their descent and disintegrated, leaving me feeling clammy instead.

I pulled myself up onto the window ledge and hugged my knees to my chest. Resting my head back against the wall I let the stillness of the room relax me and the chilly evening air soothe.

Behind me the bedroom door opened and closed and I looked up to see James watching me.

The calm I was feeling disappeared and I felt fear knot my stomach. He unbuckled his belt and throwing it to the bed he walked over to the dresser and poured two glasses of wine.

He approached the window, and handing one to me without saying a word he sat on the other end of the window ledge and looked out into the night.

I waited for him to speak but he didn't, he just sipped his wine.

The silence was unnerving me but I didn't want to get this night started by attempting a conversation.

"You really don't like me, do you?" He finally asked but I didn't reply. "I can see it, in your eyes when you look at me. You abhor me."

I remained quiet, too scared to speak, but yet too frightened to ignore him. I didn't know what he wanted me to say.

"Answer me, please Isabella." He took another sip of his wine. "And be honest."

I put down my glass and looked back up at him. "Yes," I said.

"Yes?" He asked, eyeing me over the rim of his glass.

"Yes, I hate you."

"You think I've done terrible things, hmm?"

I nodded.

"I'm an ambitious man, Isabella. I know what I want and I will stop at nothing to get it. Why does that make me loathsome?"

"Because you hurt people and you never think twice about doing it."

"You think I don't feel regret?"

I nodded again.

James sipped from his glass and looked back out into the darkness. "I feel regret," he said softly.

I jumped at the sound of his voice even though it was barely a whisper. His words startled me, he sounded almost – human.

"What do you regret?" I asked him.

"You," he replied, looking back over at me. I swallowed, uneasy about the new direction this conversation was taking. I didn't want his focus to be on me.

"Don't you want to ask me why?" He laughed and I shook my head. "I see," he answered looking down into his wine. "You despise me so much you can't even have a conversation with me."

"You make me sick," I whispered.

"I'll tell you anyway, Isabella," he said, ignoring me. "I regret you because if I'd known then what I know now, I would've done it all so differently."

"What are you talking about?"

James put down his glass and leaning forward he rested one elbow on his knee. His face was focused on mine and as I looked into his cold, soulless eyes I shuddered.

"Is it so wrong for me to want to be loved?" His voice was so quiet but I heard him clearly.

Dear God, please don't let him be referring to me.

"You – You want me to – love you?" I asked, my voice faltering on the words.

James sighed deeply. "I am not incapable of loving you, Isabella."

"No, but I am incapable of loving you," I stated.

"Ouch!" He laughed, sitting back against the wall. "That's harsh."

"You told me to be honest," I said.

"Yes, yes I did. So tell me," he picked up his wine again. "What makes me so despicable?"

"Everything you do," I told him, "is an apparition of evil. I believe you the spawn of Satan, James. No more. No less."

He laughed at me. The degradation I had assumed he would feel; that any man would feel upon being called the Devils' spawn was non-existent in him. He actually found my theory amusing.

"You too, are the devil's child, Isabella. Beautiful Isabella, with her demonology and her lies, you weave a very intricate web, my darling, but I can see straight through you. I have a knack for finding the abnormal, the supernatural, shall we say, and I see exactly who you are."

"I'm not a witch," I tried again to tell him, but he never listened. I had done nothing that he accused me of and yet he still insisted I was harbouring a power which he claimed he could sense.

"Yes, Isabella. Yes you are, for you have bewitched me."

"That means nothing."

"Does it? I don't agree, you see, before you came along I had never felt anything for another human being, in my life. Not for my Mother or my Father. In truth, they annoyed me. But you," he laughed took another gulp of wine and set down his half empty glass. "You, intrigue me. I find myself thinking about you all the time. I wonder about your thoughts and your feelings and all I want to do is get inside that pretty little head of yours and know what you're truly thinking."

James had stood and walked over to my side, as he spoke he poked his finger into my temple to make his point clear.

I didn't stop him, for I was so scared of this man.

"I already told you what I was thinking," I whispered, feeling panic rising again and I gulped quickly to try to dispel the fear.

"Tell me again," he leant down and whispered into my ear. His breath was warm and I could smell the wine on his tongue.

"I hate you," I said, my voice barely audible in the quiet of the room.

"There's a very thin line between love and hate, Isabella. Maybe one day that will change."

"Never."

Laughing he stood up straight then walked towards the bathroom. "Drink your wine, Isabella."

My fingers were tingling and I glanced briefly at my hands, wondering what this new sensation meant. I felt blackness descend over my vision and fought it back. I didn't want to faint, not here in this room with him.

I reached for my glass but my hands were shaking, and instead of grasping it, I knocked it off the window and it fell, shattering into miniscule shards across the courtyard below.

"Butterfingers," James tutted at me, then walking back over to the window he picked up his own glass and placed it in my hand, commanding me to drink again.

I heard him walk into the bathroom and closing my eyes I briefly let the darkness descend.

I remembered a chant that my Aunt Irina had sung to me as a child and as I concentrated on the memory of her voice, haunting in its melody, I dipped my finger into the wine and rolled it across the rim of the glass; invoking a low note which sounded almost musical. I kept twirling my finger around the edge, recalling my Aunts voice and her words, listening to the shrill note, all the while concentrating on my breathing.

I felt my nausea dissipate and my breathing slowly return to normal. The residue on my finger dried up and the gentle lull of the note stopped.

I opened my eyes and found I was feeling much calmer.

"Isabella, come here." James instructed and standing, I walked into the bathroom. "Give me that," he indicated to the glass I was still holding and I handed it to him. Taking a sip he nodded towards the bedroom.

"Go and lie down."

I turned and left the bathroom and walked over to the bed. I expected tears to blur my vision but instead all I felt was strangely calm; almost numb.

I lay down atop the blankets and waited.

When James finally appeared he had removed his shirt. His skin glistened in the candlelight and I wondered if he had undressed because he was hot. He leant against the door frame, looking at me. His eyes appeared glazed and hooded and letting go of the frame he teetered towards me. I watched as his steps stumbled and I frowned. He couldn't be drunk; he'd barely finished one glass.

He reached the bed and slumped down by my feet. I noticed the sweat beaded on his forehead and hairline, causing the strands which had escaped the ties at the nape of his neck to stick to his face and throat.

Falling onto all fours he climbed up my body and stopped when his face was level with my own. His skin looked pale and his breathing was ragged and I realised James was sickening for something. I had no idea what as he had been perfectly healthy moments before he'd entered the bathroom.

Leaning down to kiss me, I deftly averted my face and his lips collided with my cheek instead. He pulled away and licking his lips he frowned.

"You taste – strange," he muttered and his arms began to shake with the strain of holding his body weight.

I watched as he closed his eyes and drew in shaky breaths, and then lightly pushing my fingers against his chest, he fell onto his back beside me.

"Isabella," he mumbled, "what have you done to me?" He held out his hand towards me but instead of taking it, I moved off the bed and backed away.

"Help me," he pleaded.

My back hit the wall.

"I feel so sick," he complained and as if on cue he rolled onto his side and vomited.

I didn't move as he rolled onto his back again, instead I counted his breaths until he was finally asleep.

When his breathing was deep but even I slid to the floor, hugging my knees as I closed my own eyes and prayed for sleep to find me.

I was safe for the moment. James was sick and unable to touch me, but I was unable to leave. For now I would sleep on the floor and wait and see what the morning would bring.

What have you done to me?

In truth, I had no idea if it was me but I was thankful for whatever vomiting-induced plague had invaded him and saved me from this night.

I thought of Edward and how alone he must be feeling. He was locked away many floors below, unknowing that I had evaded our worst nightmares; for now.

I longed to go to him and tell him he meant the world to me and that without him I couldn't go through another day. Like Edward, I had wandered alone for such a long time, never connecting with anyone until I'd found him. But when I did, it'd felt like coming home. He was the black against my white, the crimson against my brown, and without him those colours just seemed to fade.

For me Edward was my rainbow; he brightened up my world, striking and lighting my life with a multitude of colour, finally making me feel like I belonged.


Please go and visit the Spellbound thread over at Twilighted(dot)net, its under AU. You can see my beautiful "Spellbound" banner that inside the disarray made for me.

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I've entered a one shot contest called "Summer of Smut" and my entry is called "Free from Desire". I'd love it if you guys could go take a look at my submission and please, please leave me a review, I feel so lonely with only 11 at the moment. You can find it under my profile and Ladybugs_mum, you're free tonight so go and enjoy some more smut!! Lol

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