Wow. Over 50 reviews, 20 favorites, 20 follows and over 3000 views? Cheers guys. I've lost track of them, so thank you to all that have favourited and reviewed since last chapter.

Onto reviews:

Potat0s0verlord: Gauze isn't a permanent character in the story. Calm yourself.

Piemaster981: Most likely.

GrimKid98: I guess?

Guest: No, MGR will have it's own story.

ThatInternetGuy: Why thank you.

The Baz: Lemons are sex, not porn.

TheMAO17: Okay.

brokenkarma141: I can't accept anymore OCs right now. Sorry.

So, I guess we're doing the lemons soon. Also, forget the theme poll, Crimson's theme will be Break by Ocean's Divide.

This is a humor (stupidity) based chapter.

Chapter IX: Christmas Day

I woke to an excited squeal. "CRIMSON!" "OOF!" Ruy landed on top of me with a face that looked like a five-year old at Christmas, well...it is Christmas, but I'm not dating a five-year old as far as I'm aware.

"MORNING!" She yelled.

"Good morning Ruby." I sighed. This was going to be a long day. Yang began to wake up and saw Ruby straddling me. I braced myself for an ass-whooping.

"Morning you two." She smiled groggily and walked to the bathroom. Well that was...different. I slowly pushed Ruby off of me, only to be pushed back down by the excited girl. She lay her head against my chest.

"You're not going anywhere." She said.

"Why?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Because. You might go and open your presents and I won't get to see you open them." She pouted.

"Why would you care?"

"Because, you're my boyfriend and the rest of us are your friends. Also because dad and uncle Qrow are coming today."

"...Say what now."

"Dad and Uncle Qrow are coming today." On second thought, staying in bed felt like the best option, also the safest. I don't need an ass-whooping from two highly trained hunters. One of them teaching Ruby how to use a scythe. And I've seen her use Crescent Rose. It is NOT pretty. Admittedly stuff like being sliced in half don't really hurt anymore, but it's a total bitch to regenerate.

Yang came out the bathroom. "Oh yeah, I forgot Dad was coming today. He mentioned something about seeing the kid that's dating one of his princesses." That's a good thing, right?

Well, if we're going to do this today, fuck it, YOLO.

"Well, take me to your leader" I sigh.

"I am their leader!" Ruby pouted. Whoops, forgot. She feels a bit insecure about this thing.

"JNPR's coming over here for today, so get changed." Yang told me. You ever get that feeling that you have no choices in your life? Yeah, that one.

I push Ruby off me, despite the girls moans of protest and stand up. I change into a black long-sleeved shirt, white tank top, slate jeans and black/white skater shoes.

"Kid!" A voice burst out of nowhere. Here comes Alex Mercer.

He and Ozpin burst through the door in Santa hats, Ozpin looked ready to choke someone while Mercer had a childish grin on his face.

"Hello si-"

"MUSHROOM FARTS!"

"Wha-"

"T-REX NOSE PICKER!"

"Stop-"

"Get on the poop train, WITH ME AS THE CONDUCTOR!"

"Sir, what are you-"

"Are you on the train?"

"No."

"THEN GET ON THE TRAIN!" Mercer said in a demonic voice.

"AAH SON OF A FUCK!"

"Yeah, merry Christmas you little shits!" Mercer tossed me a jacket, which just so happened to be identical to his. "Sir, why did you give me this?" I asked.

"Because I wanted to, but since we're on the subject of apparel, guess who was wearing a bikini last night!"

"Sir I really don-"

"I felt so sexy." Mercer whispered. I slowly drop the jacket, I think I can smell the shame off of it.

"Sir, what are you doing here?" I sighed.

"To wish you a merry Christmas!"

"Thanks, merry Christmas."

"Ozpin feels so loved right now..." Ozpin muttered. Everyone ignored him.


Everything eventually got under control, we managed to convince Mercer and Ozpin to leave...somehow. I'm currently convinced they're high, as I saw Ooblebeck earlier running down the halls yelling "I love cocaine!"

I walked down the halls to the lunch hall with Ruby clinging to my arm and Yang walking beside us. It would have been a perfect moment if Yang wasn't there, or the fact I'm going to meet Ruby's dad and uncle.

"You'll be fine!" Yang said encouragingly.

"Easy for you to say, you punched me in the face for months!" I retorted.

"But dad's pretty reasonable." Ruby pointed out to me.

"If you say so."

"We do, now stop hunching you've got to make a good impression." Ruby scolded.

We got to the lunch hall to see two men conversing. The one on the left was a blonde man with shoulder length hair, the other was a black haired man with grey streaks through his hair and his hair reached his jawline.

The blonde man had violet eyes and wore a tan hoodie over a yellow shirt. He wore dark blue skinny jeans and knee high boots with a yellow scarf wrapped around the right boot.

The older looking man wore a black cloak over a grey suit, he had a pair of black leather gloves with a crow's face on the right one.

They turned to us upon our arrival. The older man spoke in a deep, smooth tone.

"Qrow, nice to meet you." He said calmly, extending his hand for me to shake. As we shook hands the blonde burst in between us.

"YO WASSUP! I'm Taiyang! We're going to be such good friends! We can try on clothes! Paint our nails! Talk about cute boys!" He yelled excitedly.

"But you're a guy." I point out.

"SHUTUPANDLEMMEDREEEAAAMMMMM!" Taiyang ran off, leaving a sighing Qrow and a confused me.


I lay in my bed, a sleeping Ruby snoring lightly into the crook of my neck, then it dawned on me.

I still have to wash the sweat and shame out of that jacket.

Sorry that this is rushed, it's a last minute thing. On that note, Merry Christmas! This is actually my first Christmas in my current house. Anyone know what they're getting? All I know for sure is I'm getting a Alex Mercer jacket. The rest is unclear. But if you want pm me tomorrow and tell me what you got.

Again, sorry about the short chapter, and the fact it's rushed.