Disclaimers: Major spoilers for Ep 312 "Silent Night," some of the dialogue is taken directly from the episode. I own nothing you recognize.
Thanks to SallyJetson for the beta.
Danny called Stella the next morning to check on Lindsay. He wanted to come over, but Stella reminded him that if he didn't get to the lab, Mac would chew him out.
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Ouch, Lindsay thought, closing her eyes then reopening them. It didn't feel like she was on her bed, and she upon looking around, confirmed it. Where am I? Turning around, she noticed Stella.
"Where am I? What are you doing here?" Lindsay asked, thoroughly confused.
"You're in the living room in your apartment. As far as for why I'm here, go take a shower and we'll talk about it. What do you want for breakfast?" I want you to have a little bit of a fresher head before we talk.
"Nothing." Lindsay kept rubbing her forehead.
"Are you sick to your stomach?"
"No, I never eat anything for breakfast. I don't have any breakfast food around."
"Well, you're eating something. I'll find something; you go shower."
"All right."
Stella fixed up a couple of cans of soup, and found some crackers in the pantry. She had set out the food, and had just found a bottle of ibuprofen, when Lindsay returned to the kitchen, redressed.
"My head's killing me," Lindsay complained.
"I'm not surprised," Stella replied, handing Lindsay two ibuprofen and a glass of water. "You probably have the hangover of the century."
"Thanks. So, what are you doing here?"
"Do you not remember?" Stella could see the answer in Lindsay's eyes. "Well, tell me what you remember about last night."
"I picked up some food on my way home, as well as some vodka to drink. I remember drinking one Dixie cup full and pouring a second cup full. I just wanted to forget about what has gone on lately…"
"Is that all you remember?"
Lindsay nodded, hanging her head. "I guess I accomplished some of what I hoped."
Realizing exactly how out of it Lindsay had been, Stella became a bit angry. "Lindsay, you were completely wasted. You know better than to do that. You know, you could have wound up on Hammerback's table this morning…"
Lindsay angrily interrupted Stella, "God, Stella, I don't need another mother." She got up from her chair and started pacing.
Stella swallowed the hurt from Lindsay's outburst before grabbing her elbow. "As your friend, it scares me. That you would resort to drinking so much. It scares me that I may have had a dead friend this morning. You realize how much you worried Danny and me last night?"
Stella had just knocked the fight out of Lindsay. "You don't understand," she said, with tears in eyes.
"Don't understand what?" After a moment's pause, Stella grabbed the envelopes from the Department of Corrections and asked, "About these?" Stella saw shock, anger, and fear in Lindsay's face all at once.
"Were you snooping through my mail?" Lindsay asked angrily.
"Yeah," Stella admitted. "Look, I'm sorry. You wanted me to be a friend. Unfortunately, this friend is a detective."
"Please don't make me talk about it." After pausing for a moment, she continued, "I don't know if I can face it, Stella." Then almost so low that Stella couldn't hear it, "I don't want you to think less of me."
"Look, as a friend, I'm not going to let you hole it up anymore. It's not healthy for you. If I have to, I won't hesitate to interrogate you." Still seeing hesitation on Lindsay's face, she continued, "Do you know why I've not been around on Tuesday mornings for the past few weeks?" Lindsay shook her head. "I've been going to see the department counselor. After snapping at you over that case a few weeks ago, I realized that I hadn't been handling it. Why would I think less of you?"
Tears started falling down Lindsay's cheeks. "It was my fault."
"Lindsay, you can't blame yourself. You did not kill your friends. It was not your fault you were the only one who survived." Stella pulled Lindsay into a hug for a minute, and Lindsay started crying harder. "How about we compromise a bit? Why don't you finish your soup, and we'll talk once you've stopped crying?"
Lindsay nodded.
