Previously on Supernatural Lost and Found
Both knew that inside lay either a potential treasure box of answers, a boatload of questions, or worse, a Pandora's Box, which once opened, could not be closed again. Neither one knew quite what to expect……..
"So, you wanted to talk with us?" Dean questioned
Missouri nodded and turned her head casting her gaze out the large picture window to the right of her. She appeared to be looking far off in the distance, but Dean couldn't help but wonder if it was more the future that she was looking at.
She finally glanced back at the brothers with troubled eyes and took a deep breath …..
Chapter 8
"I sense a great darkness, blacker than the night sky in the middle of winter," the psychic's lowered tone warned, "…and it's hungry."
The Winchester brother's sat in silence willing the psychic to continue.
"Evil, pure evil… it's on the move…searching….hunting….."
"Hunting for what?" Sam questioned softly fearing the answer.
"Why traces of light, of course," she answered in her calm all knowing way as the floor boards creaked beneath her gently rocking chair. Her rhythmic movements reflected her quiet understanding of the things she was about to reveal.
Dean, sensing that she was somehow referring to Sam, wanted to get skip the analogy and move straight to the point.
"Why does the demon want Sam?" Dean questioned directly. The adamant tone in his voice surprised even him.
Missouri stopped her rocking and looked correctively at him. It was obvious that her analogy had a purpose and his direct approach was not appreciated. Still, Dean's concern was for his brother and he didn't give a damn about whether Missouri appreciated it or not.
Sam, desperate to understand and willing to learn from whatever form Missouri chose to express herself, looked over at Dean with a pleading look.
The older Winchester, moved by his brother's silent request, chose not to contest, but instead obliged.
"So why does the darkness want the light?" Dean asked attempting to participate in the analogy Missouri had created.
Sam smiled appreciatively and waited for her answer.
The psychic began her repetitive motion of rocking back and forth and the floor boards once again started their chorus of creaks.
"The forces of good and evil are gathering in preparation for a battle whose outcome will affect all things… every living creature, every spiritual being. Nothing will go untouched."
The words left her lips and drifted ominously into the air.
"The darkness knows of the coming war and recognizes that any light it does not seek now, it will face as an enemy on the battle field."
Missouri paused again allowing time for her revelation to sink into the boys' understandings.
"What does this have to do with us, with me?" Sam finally asked as he looked over at Dean and back at Missouri.
"Well, Sam, this war that's comin requires warriors, of course," she paused expecting the boys to make the connection. When they remained silent, she clarified, "Good seeks warriors to fight the darkness and other warriors to protect the light. Evil seeks the opposite."
Dean understood where she was going and counted himself a protector of the "light". He shifted next to his brother and their eyes met, and in unison returned back to her.
"Both sides are lookin right now for the warriors who can fight their enemy…. people with, shall we say, special abilities," she glanced over to Sam, "to secure their victory."
Dean looked worriedly over at Sam. He didn't want his brother to go where he couldn't follow. "And the warriors that fight to protect ...they stand with the warriors that fight the enemy in the battle?"
Missouri nodded and smiled sensing Dean's absolute devotion to his brother.
"S'right. As you chose your side, good or evil, you become one with what you choose." To choose good is to become one with the light and to act on its behalf. If you and your brother choose the light, Sam would fight the darkness as light and you, Dean, would fight to keep your brother's light burning, to protect his flame. To choose evil is to become one with darkness and to act on its behalf. If you choose evil, Sam would become one with the darkness and turn to fight the light and you, Dean, would fight to protect him as he ravages all that is pure and right and good."
The slow steady creaking sang on as Missouri paused once again to allow the boys to think through her revelation. She knew which side the boys would choose, but also knew that darkness would do everything within its power to stop them, and she wanted them to realize what was at stake should they be tempted by the darkness or pulled to its side. It would be Dean's responsibility, as Sam's protector and defender to prevent that from ever happening and she wanted him to fully understand what he would need to do.
"The protectors are the silent warriors," she began, "as important, if not more so, than the warriors that fight the enemy. They need to be stealth like in their approach, difficult to detect, ever present, sleeping…as they say… with their eyes open, ever watchful, always prepared and willing to take the place of the light, should evil seek to snuff it out."
"No," Sam whispered as the analogy brought news of Dean's potential sacrifice.
Missouri glanced over, closed her eyes, and nodded sorrowfully, acknowledging Sam's pain and somberly recognizing Dean's calling.
"This battle cannot be won without the protectors, Sam. As the light goes forward moving the battle line, the protector follows, making sure the ground taken is secured so that it cannot be retaken, and watches for the unseen threats that linger unnoticed by the forward moving light. As the battle line creeps deeper and deeper into darkness's domain, the protector goes behind and before the light ready to take its place should the sacrifice be required of him. Back to back and side by side the two warriors push the battle line until the final victory…the purge of darkness." The protector is a warrior, a counselor, a guide, a defender, and, yes, even a sacrifice if called upon."
Dean nodded as he took each and every responsibility Missouri laid out before him upon himself. His commitment to his role in the battle that lay ahead was absolute just as his commitment to his brother was unlimited.
Missouri felt herself moved by Dean's unconditional commitment to his brother even unto death and she smiled warmly at him.
Sam had listened intently as the psychic described the battle and the role his brother and he would play in it. As she rattled off his older brother's responsibilities as counselor, guide, defender and willing sacrifice, his eyes began to tear. Dean was all these things for Sam already, and had been his whole life. Like a comfortable blanket offering warmth and a sense of security beneath its fabric layers, his brother would be at his side and knowing this made Sam feel somehow safer. The only role he could not allow his brother to play was the willing sacrifice and he would shed his blanket of protection should this battle appear to require it.
The brief lull in the conversation as the three of them sat admiring and appreciating one other, continued. Dean was surprised to find himself warming up to the psychic and even more so when he realized he might actually be able to like her in time. The lull was like a gentle breeze on a hot summer day, needed and refreshing. Unfortunately, as often hot summer days go, the breeze quickly died down and the stillness reminded them of what had yet to be explored….the role of the warrior against the darkness.
Missouri turned and looked directly at Sam. His heartbeat began to increase as the intensity of her gaze foretold a harsh reality that was about to be revealed.
"Sam…. Honey," she sighed, "Good and evil are pursuing you, seeking to enlist you, but evil is especially powerful, set out in rage to destroy the good."
She looked over at Dean, warning him to pay attention and be mindful of his responsibilities as protector, as she planned to reveal Sam's role in the upcoming battle.
Dean, having been a "protector" all his life, was already anticipating what would be needed and nodded reassuringly at Missouri.
"If you don't join evil's side, Sam, …….if you choose to stand with good, ……… it will hunt you down to destroy you." The psychic concluded regretfully.
A strong sense of panic nearly suffocated Sam. The thought of being hunted by all the forces of evil terrified him.
Dean felt himself crumbling as her words chiseled at the hopeful walls of his heart. The key, Missouri was holding, was not the treasure box of answers he had hoped for, nor the boat load of questions he thought she might provoke. It was the Pandora's Box that he had feared and what had escaped was unimaginable.
Both brothers sat there speechless.
oooOOOooo
A chorus of creaks droned on as Missouri worked out her nervous energy on the hard wooden floor beneath her. She knew what was coming next and that knowledge weighed heavy on her heart. A question still remained that neither boy had dared to ask, but both knew needed answering.
Sam found the courage, motivated mostly by fear, and hoped he and his brother were prepared enough to handle the answer. Having been speechless, his only struggle was to find the voice to express it.
"What will the darkness do to the light once it finds it?"
"What darkness always wants to do with light," she replied a bit surprised by the question.
Dean raised his eyebrows and looked over at Sam hoping his brother could somehow solve the riddle Missouri had laid before them. It was the question he and his brother had been asking ever since the demon's revelation in the cabin of having plans for the youngest Winchester. Half had been answered. The demon wants Sam to join its army and destroy good, although how it planned on getting him to join was still unknown. But the other half of the question remained. What would the demon do to Sam if he refused? Sam shook his head slightly indicating that he could offer nothing more on the subject and the two looked back at the psychic fearful of the answer.
" … extinguish all traces of it."
Her words were ominous and though their exact connection between the demon and Sam had yet to be hammered out, both boys knew it wasn't good.
The psychic, feeling the responsibility of making it very clear to the boys the danger they were facing so as not to underestimate it, looked at the small coffee table in front of her and then the wall behind the boys.
"Sam, honey, go on over there and turn off the lights. The switch is on the wall behind you."
Dean was unsure as to where the psychic was heading. Sam rose and quietly did as she had asked. He returned to his spot on the sofa safely beside his older brother. Dean couldn't help but notice that Sam positioned himself closer than before as if seeking comfort from his brother's presence. Dean smiled and rested his knee on the side of his little brother's leg as if to say I'm here, little brother, I'm right here.
Though not completely dark, the room had definitely been cast into a shadowy dimness. Missouri reached over to a candle that had been purposely placed on the coffee table between them and lit it. A small, cone shaped snuffer with a long gold handle lay neatly beside it. The flame at first flickered and then developed into a tear drop shaped light, both bright and vibrant. The three sat and watched as the candle created a warm glow that was intriguing while the location of the snuffer created a presence that was unsettling.
Missouri placed her hand on the cold metal handle and slowly began to move the object towards the candle.
"Like a candle snuffer, evil searches out the radiant flame that sheds illumination. Its movement toward the brightly glowing light causes a slight breeze that feeds and deprives the flame at the same time and briefly forces it to flicker."
Missouri glanced at the boys to gage their reactions. Dean watched cautiously anticipating what was coming next. Sam liked his lips and took a deep breath.
"The flame recovers unaware that its very existence is being threatened until the snuffer reaches its destination and envelops it completely."
All three sat in silence as Missouri placed the metallic snuffer over the candle and pressed it down.
"It delights in the slow suffocation transpiring beneath its cold metallic dominion as it completes the task it was designed for. The suffocating flame struggles hopelessly before it asphyxiates, leaving behind a ghostly cloud of smoke as it plunges the world around it into a pitch-black darkness so permeating, a hand in front of your face is impossible to detect, let alone the reaches of space around it."
The psychic removed the snuffer and released the cloud of smoke that had been contained inside it. The three sat and watched until the smoke dissipated completely into once again dimmed room.
"Fear, despair, hopelessness, anguish … and all the other elements that darkness creates, force a panic that compels some to seek out the extinguished source of light and ignite its warm and illuminating glow once again. But as they endeavor to make their way to re-light it, obstacles purposely placed, cause them to stumble and collapse making the hope of ever perceiving the world they've grown accustomed to again wane. Without hope, they lack the strength and ultimately the well being needed to bring the darkened place back into the light. Then the darkness reigns, unchallenged for all eternity."
Sam and Dean sat speechless as the analogy came to a close. Neither moved or dared to breathe fearing to do so might somehow trigger the movement of darkness towards the light Missouri had referred, the result of which would be devastating.
Dean swallowed hard as he looked over at his defeated looking brother. Missouri had just given Sam a death sentence. All of the weight of the world had been placed on his shoulders. If he did not succeed in the battle ahead, if the forces of evil extinguished light, all would be lost. He couldn't let that happen and because of that, the darkness would be seeking to destroy him or worse turn him against the light. He would either face a life of constant battles for good, against evil, and against the pull of evil to undo him or face a gruesome death at the hands of evil leaving the world to utter demise.
Sam felt sick.
Missouri had accomplished her responsibilities having revealed all the boys needed to know about the darkness and their role against it, and the potential cost. She had been honest, brutally honest, holding nothing back, but as she looked over the young men sitting before her, and sensed and felt their pain, her heart was deeply moved. She wanted to say something, anything to provoke a response in them, to motivate them to fight and not be defeated by the weight of the truth that had been dumped on their shoulders and collapsed them to the ground. But she knew, deep in her heart, that the boys needed to overcome this weight themselves and in doing so, would be best prepared for the fight. They needed to struggle with it, shift it, get it into a position in which they could find their balance and, using all their strength, rise first to their knees, then to their feet and finally stand, sure footed ready to take on the battle they were destined to fight.
Missouri watched and waited rocking out her nervousness.
It was Dean who stood first. Missouri could see it in his eyes…weariness from the effort, conviction in the cause, confidence to move forward and pleasure in his success. She smiled warmly at him as she saw his immediate action was to check on the wellbeing of his brother.
Sam nodded, having not quite reached his feet yet, but heading in that direction. Dean's understanding presence and comforting hand on his shoulder enabled Sam to make the final effort to stand.
Missouri looked deep into Sam's eyes and saw the same weariness and conviction she had seen in his brother's but she also saw something else…the absence of confidence and pleasure. She eyed him for a while searching him, sensing him, trying to determine what it was that was sapping the boy, draining him, ….."
"So what do we do?" Dean's voice broke the silence. "How do we keep the darkness from extinguishing the light?" he questioned Missouri hoping that she not only had the beginning of the story, but also knew its ending.
"There's not much we can do, but you and your brother have some decisions to make"
"Decisions?" Sam questioned finding his voice.
"Well, honey, it's just like in any war, you gotta first choose what side you're fighting for. You may agree with good or even want to be good, but that isn't really a choice, now is it. To choose is to stand, firm in your convictions, to the point of action. You both are in this battle. It's a given due to Sam's abilities, of that there is no choice, but are you boys ready to fight this battle to the death if need be?"
Sam and Dean looked at each other and nodded in agreement.
"So what's next?" Dean questioned as he attempted to map things out.
"Know your enemy, boys. You got to find out its plans, its goals, its strengths and weaknesses and learn to recognize who's on its side, who you're up against."
Sam looked knowingly at Dean. "The demon and the other children…the ones that have already used their gifts to kill"
"S'right" Missouri confirmed. "You got ta find the others like yourself, the warriors, and figure out which side they're on. You figure out a way to find them yet?"
"We're working on that," Dean added thinking of Ash.
"Good…best not take too long" she cautioned. "Find em, eliminate the ones that turned, and rally the ones that haven't. The warriors that choose to fight against the darkness will all need warriors to protect them as they battle, though I imagine many of the ones who haven't turned yet, might have found theirs already, though they may not be aware of it."
Sam smiled appreciatively at Dean. It was more like his warrior/protector had found him and Sam was so glad his brother had when he did before Melinda had completed her mission whatever the hell it was.
Dean nodded acknowledging his brother's thanks. Roy LeGrange's words echoed in his mind. You've got a job to do and it isn't finished yet. Damn straight, in fact, Dean thought, it's only just beginning. His thoughts were soon interrupted by the quiet questioning voice of his little brother.
"Let's say we find them, these warriors against darkness and they join with us, then what?" Sam questioned.
"Well, honey, you fight, of course…."
"The demon" Dean clarified.
"The demon, yes, but not just the demon…. all the forces of evil and darkness. There are many more than the one that killed your momma, boys, and your girlfriend, Sam," she offered with sympathetic eyes.
"Yeah, but how do we do that?" Sam asked hopelessly.
"The damn thing's beat us every time and we're not talking checkers here." Dean jumped in. "It's been within inches of our lives and Dad, he…………….." Dean stopped abruptly and became choked up.
Sam smiled gently at Dean and finished for him. "We think it used us to take out Dad." Sam paused and took a deep breath, then ran his long fingers through his hair. "How do you fight something that uses love against you?" he asked innocently."
The question hung in the air, which was so heavy with tension, it seemed to almost float for a while before falling to the floor. Missouri was the one to stop and pick it up.
"Why, you fight with whatcha got and ya do it with all your heart, Sam" Missouri encouraged.
The answer seemed so simple, so easy, but in reality, it escaped them. They needed something concrete to work with and Missouri sensed it.
"Sam, these powers of yours, have you learned to control them?" she asked already knowing the answer.
Sam looked up, "No" he replied despairingly.
"If anything," Dean added in a deeply concerned voice, "they control him"
Missouri looked up as if asking for more.
Sam obliged. "They incapacitate me…is what he means. It's more like they hit me whenever they want, overwhelm me, and then leave me with a glimpse into the activities of others like myself."
"Others?" Missouri questioned already knowing the answer but attempting to bring out a truth she sensed Sam had kept to himself.
Dean chirped in. "Yeah, they have powers….to move things with their minds, control thoughts, see things…but they are always using them to hurt people. We try to stop them."
"I see"
"I think a demon comes to them in their dreams and convincesthem to do things" Sam added wanting to get the psychic's input on his discovery. He glanced awkwardly over at Dean knowing his revelation would not be well received by his protective older brother.
"What the hell makes you think that?" Dean questioned horrified, having heard this for the first time.
"I overheard Andy's brother talking about it back at the dam. He said a guy with red eyes came to him in his dreams and told him he had plans for him."
Dean looked at Sam and wiped his hand across his face shocked by his brother's new revelation. "Did the damn thing ever appear in your dreams?! "
"No…well, I don't think so" Sam said hesitatingly.
Missouri nodded pleased that the conversation had gone it the direction it had gone. For Dean to fulfill his role as a warrior fighting for the light, he had to know when his brother was being attacked.
Dean stared at Sam and he felt compelled to continue.
"Okay, I never saw it in my dreams, but I guess I'm not sure if maybe, back in the graveyard when I had that…headache…
"with convulsions," Dean added emphasizing that it was way beyond a headache.
Sam nodded and continued. "….that dark figure that I saw, well, I don't think it was Melinda after all. I think maybe it was the demon" he eeked out looking at his brother and ready to take cover from the explosion that was about to go off.
Dean stood up. "WHAT!" he yelled feeling absolutely terrified for his younger brother. "Shit, Sam, why didn't you say anything?!!!"
"I didn't want to freak you out," Sam commented defensively gesturing his hand toward his brother, "like this. It might not have been the demon. I was so messed up, I'm not sure what I saw."
Dean began pacing like a caged lion, walking from one side of the living room to the other in a nervous, steady gate. Sam watched and waited for his brother to reveal his thoughts. Missouri nodded reassuringly at Sam and continued her rocking.
Finally, Dean stopped. "But you're sure you saw a dark figure, right? And you know it wasn't Melinda, right? Did you see its eyes? Was it THE demon?" Dean questioned frantically.
"Dean, no, I'm didn't see its eyes, okay? Like I said, I'm not really sure what I saw."
Sam looked pleadingly at Dean. His eyes expressed confusion and fear and Dean was moved by his brother's anxiety. He tried to relax a bit, but his nerves were clearly bordering on being shot. In as gentle a tone as he could muster up in his current frame of mind, he questioned his brother. "Is that why you left, because you thought it might have been the demon?"
"NO, well yes, well no, not really. I just figured you'd be safer away from me. It's just like I told you back at the motel, I swear."
Dean nodded, liking the idea of protection over deception as his brother's reason.
Missouri took all this in trying to understand what had happened and how it all fit into the big picture. "So, you had an vision, Sam, saw some dark figure or something…maybe, left Dean to protect him, were found and ended up here?" she questioned looking at the boys for confirmation.
Dean quickly filled it the blanks. "Actually, Sam ran into one of the demon's children or a "warrior" or whatever the hell it was…. on his little adventure…ALONE (he emphasized still miffed that his little brother had left him and played demon food for a bit)…."
Missouri looked worriedly at Sam. "I knew I sensed danger. It actually made contact with you, Sam? For how long?"
Sam clarified and finished Dean's little story…. "For a couple of days. It…I mean….Melinda, saw Dean and took off…end of story" he added trying to remind Dean that nothing had happened.
"After she left her little love note for Sam about him needing to stay innocent and be an easier target for old Yellow Eyes" he quipped sarcastically as he concluded the retelling.
Missouri looked at Sam. "Old Yellow Eyes?"
"The demon," Sam translated, "the one who started this mess in the first place.
Missouri nodded knowingly as Sam and Dean made eye contact once again.
"There are only two reasons this demon would be making contact with you, Sam. Either it hopes you to turn you or it wants to destroy you."
Dean looked over at Sam who sat frozen on the cushion beside him. While his body language was non-communicative, his face reflected fear.
"My guess, based on what you just told me, is that it was trying to test you. If it thinks it can break you, chip away at your convictions and strength, access your vulnerabilities, separate you from your protector, and rob you of your hope, then it will attempt to turn you. It knew either way, that its encounter would endanger you…either by setting you up to turn you or by determining you were unreachable and beginning the process of destroying you.
Sam paled and felt the same devastating feeling he did when he first read Melinda's note and the realization of what had happened had paralyzed him. He sat, once again frozen and unresponsive.
"Sam?" Dean questioned struggling with his own emotions as Missouri's revelation once again sucked the air right out of his lungs. What happened to his brother was too close and the thought that he almost lost him damn near paralyzed him as well.
"Sammy?" Dean called again as he put his hand on his brother's shoulder and gently shook him. "Hey,kiddo, you okay?"
Sam nodded but didn't say anything. Missouri ran off and got him a glass of water. He slowly drank the water as the three sat in silence.
Dean felt Sam had heard enough for one day and that maybe the rest of the conversation should happen between he and Missouri at a later date. He looked up at the psychic to initiate the close of the conversation.
"No, Dean," Sam's voice called out softly. The younger sibling sensed his brother's protective move and attempted to delay him. "I want to know everything," he glanced at his brother as his eyes teared, pleadingly, "everything."
Dean's eyes teared as he was moved by his brother's courage. "Okay, Sammy, okay," he cooed.
He glanced over to Missouri whose eyes were also tearing and nodded for her to continue. They shared a moment as their eyes met that forged a new demension to their relationship, one that hadn't been there before… trust. Dean realized as the tears silently rolled down the side of Missouri's face, that she loved his brother and cared deeply for his well-being and that bonded his heart to her. And somewhere in that moment of understanding, he found the jury of his heart swing in her favor.
Missouri smiled warmly at Dean admiring his strength, commitment to his brother and kind compassionate heart. It was something she had always sensed in the boy, but never seen. His façade of being insensitive and smart aleky was simply that, a façade, and, for once, he sat before her with his wall down and his eyes tearing, and she thought that he was beautiful.
Dean looked back at Sam and nodded again and the two turned their eyes towards Missouri, ready to follow the path she was laying out to its end no matter where it seemed to be heading.
TBC
