TATW – Aftermath of Year One

*Hey but special thanks to Caine13 for the awesome suggestion he/she left for this chapter. He's the sole reason why I decided to write this chapter in the first place so thanks man*

He had heard somewhere from Earth realm that writing in a journal would alleviate his cluttered inner thoughts and to help deal with stress. So with a rather slow day of patrol completed and a long afternoon ahead of him, Erron Black took the time to sit down and write about his feelings like some sort of fairy.

"Dear journal, I am not happy. Wait, no, I should introduce myself first. I should introduce myself to a piece of blank paper."

He had to take a moment to squeeze the space between his eyeballs before he continued writing. All of those fancy writers and poets from Earth realm must really get off on this sort of thing because he couldn't wrap his head around the whole principle of the thing. However, he wrote.

"Whatever. The name's Erron Black, I'm from Earthrealm and I'm pretty damn old. Around 500 years old to be exact. Some Chinese pointy beard man came to me after I shot Marc the Clark (still a dumbass name 500 years later) for a bounty of 200 gold. This shifty bastard offered me a 2000 gold. Damn near had a heart attack on the spot having all that money in one chest. The job was simple; Mr. Beard would slow down my aging to a tortoise's pace, have me wait 500 years to off a couple of young folk, pledge loyalty to any Kahn in power and finally get the rest of my hefty pay depending on the world's currency.

The deal was airtight and what young fool didn't want to live forever? But of course there was a large problem with the deal.

My damn employer "died". I use that loosely because the original Kahn used some voodoo bullshit magic to trap Shang Tsung inside this undead woman. Now, I don't really care for the properties of magic or other complex mechanisms of this weird realm, but I do know one thing: I'm not getting paid.

So to bring this back around, I am not happy. I haven't been happy for a whole goddamn year.

It could have been worse though. I came in around the time of when Shao Kahn was just starting to invade Earth realm and that would have been a true shit show. I had heard from several servants, bodyguards and even from some of the fighters that Shao Kahn was bad news. When the time came for Outworld to storm into Earth realm Shang Tsung had called for my services. Of course I answered, but, I got "lost".

And by lost I mean I bought me a considerable amount of liquor and wine and got plastered like it was the 19 century again (good times). Figured I'd lose some brain cells before some guy wearing a cow skull would start giving me orders.

The good news is when I finally did show up with my monster hangover, Shao Kahn was dead. The bad news was that Shang Tsung was dead along with my payment. The worse news was that I had to take orders from Mileena.

Oh God.

Let me tell you something journal."

He just addressed the journal as a person again didn't he? Whatever, he continued to write.

"Mileena was the worse. First of she was a woman so that was terrible by default. Second her race of Tarkatans was just horrible to look at plus they were assholes in the highest degree. Finally, I was charged with the task of standing next to the throne to keep watch while wearing no shirt. I remember felling naked as hell while wearing those ammo straps and my hat looking like some apocalyptic eye candy. It was extra unnerving when the broad actually had the never to sexually eye me up on several occasions. It sent chills up my spine like an artic night. Who in their right mind would even consider trying to stick it in that abomination?"

…..

"Okay maybe once but that was certainly out of curiosity; however, curiosity got thrown out the window when I overheard her and Reiko one night."

He damn neared puked on his journal just thinking of the echoes from the bedroom.

"Moving on from that night, working under Mileena was the worst month of my life. Not only did I lose my dignity, but I also lost a good portion of my payment working under her. Hell I don't think I even got paid at all working for her. Thankfully, she got her Snaggle tooth butt overthrown by a previous general of Shao Kahn's army who goes by the name of Kotal Kahn. With Kotal in power, I got my shirt, regular pay check and dignity back in one fell swoop. Thus here we are one year later.

Since it's been a year, I think it is time for some honest insight about my peers.

For starters I have my boss, Kotal Kahn, the first employer that I don't actually mind working for in this messed up realm. He pays me for simple tasks such as patrolling the grounds, shooting things and sometimes negotiations: all of the things I'm good at doing. I guess my only gripe is that he could stand to put on a shirt every once in a while. I have yet to figure out why the royalty of this realm don't like to put on so many clothes. Like at all. But I guess that's for another time.

Oh yeah, I have yet to get use to the heart ripping thing. Shooting a man is one thing, but ripping out a heart? Yeesh.

Next there is Ermac, the flying trash bin for a thousand of dead warriors. For someone with that title you would think he would be some crazy, barbaric berserker. Well the good news that he is not a barbaric berserker that's for sure. This floating mummy is bat shit insane, but has the pose of a well-mannered diplomat. Out of all of the enforcers he's the most dangerous of the group with him being able to float everywhere and lift things with his weird dead powers. It creeps me out knowing that he could easily rip me in half one day just because he didn't get a ham sandwich on time. That is if he even ate anyway. Freak.

Those two men, well if I could even call them men monsters were kind of more accurate to describe them honestly, were to be respected and feared which I did respectfully. For the rest of the bunch I hate all of them vehemently.

There was first the issue of the damn lizard, aka Reptile. Generally speaking, having an assassin fight alongside you is a hell of a lot easier than fighting against them, I would know. The big red flag is that this walking iguana smells goddamn terrible! Sure Outworld doesn't have the same qualities of technology as Earth realm like basic water systems and plumbing, but people still bathe damnit! He smells like Torr's ass crack and that monster has the common sense to bathe at least. Sometimes his smell reminded him of the 50 man orgies in the throne room I had to overlook as security while Mileena was in power (did I mention they had 50 man orgies in the throne room? It took everyone in the palace a couple of weeks just to wash out the smell). Also let's not forget about the whole long "S's" he said in every other word he spoke. "Weaponssss." "Raptor Warriorssss." One of these days I'm hoping for an order from Kotal Kahn just to put a bullet into his skull. Maybe then he'll have an excuse to smell like Shokan shit.

Next we have Ferra/Torr. Ferra and Torr? Ferra Torr? I'm not sure how to write their names actually since it's easier to say it but you get the point. Forgetting about what I said before I started this rant I actually like Torr. Under his grunts and growls he's actually pretty well-mannered and handles his business whenever he is called upon despite not being able to talk. A savage professional who gets straight to the point and plows through his opponents, that's something I can respect. His partner, Ferra, is just completely ridiculous that it hurts. Loud, rude, childish (well she is a child but that's not the point) and overall stupid. Also I was not joking about her being stupid. I remember one time while we were stocking a ship to set sail to some sort of island and Kotal had assigned the two to take inventory on the weapons. I asked her how many axes we had on board and she had replied, 'A lot.' Turns out the kid didn't know how to count leaving me the glorious 30 minute task of not only counting the axes, but the rest of the weapons as well. Holy hell I have never met someone so stupid in my life: child or no child. I was going to complain to the Kahn about his decision for assigning the tasks to the child and the beast but then again I like my heart where it is at the moment. The only reason why this little brat is a part of this bodyguard circle is because she is ironically the brains of the beast Torr. Some days I want to sit her down and teach her basic educational skills and etiquette, other times I want to drop kick her off that damn bridge over the spike pits.

Lastly we he have… D'Vroah."

Maybe he should stop this little journal entry before it got out of hand. Then again no one would ever know. Maybe he should cut loose just for once.

"I don't dislike her or remotely even like her. I just… I want to try having sex with her."

He can't believe he even wrote that himself. However, he continued to write.

"Not necessarily try to have sex but more like entertaining the idea. I'm not stupid so I have done nothing but investigated all of my options like I would any other job. First of we have the facts, she's a woman (kinda) (well not really), has some damn good legs and not a bad backside. However, the obvious downsides were that she could kill anybody in a split second and that she was a fucking bug. A hot fucking bug."

He erased that last sentence because that was completely uncharacteristic of him.

"I guess the main reason why I'm even talking about the bug lady like this is that I get lonely time for time here in this castle. All of the female workers are either old lady servants or old male servants along with the military. I could try my luck down at the marketplace or Earth realm, but getting with females on my work schedule is damn near impossible. Not to mention that it was an extreme gamble given how most if not all of them cover up their face in public. Strangely enough I get slight PTSD seeing the lower portion of a woman's face being covered cause of that damned Mileena. So for now, I'll have to keep sneaking a few glances at her ass or other Outworld girl's asses whenever I have the chance. Man can only stroke himself for so long until he goes insane. Maybe just once I would like to take a trip to Earth realm and try to get a piece of that sexy blonde general Sonya. Sure she's married but who gives a fu"

Before the gunslinger could react, the front door to his personal quarters were blown off the hinges by the force of Ferra Torr who were standing in the door way holding two brown wooden chests under Torr's arms. Erron, who was slightly startled by the entrance, looked at the two and said, "What is it Ferra Torr?"

Of course Ferra chirped out, "Big Bossy want give you two chests instead one. Ferra Torr bring them." Torr finished Ferra's sentence with an audible breath out of his nose.

Black simply responded, "Well just leave them by the bed."

Torr did what he was told and sat down the chests at the side of the bed.

"If that's it, get out and close the –" he was going to say door, yet the object in question was sitting askew on his bed. "Never mind, just leave."

The mismatched duo left with a grunt form Ferra and had turned down the hall without any objection. Erron stood from his desk trying to arrange the door to establish some illusion of privacy by leaving the object at an angle for him to fix later. He then stepped towards the two wooden chests and opened them both simultaneously due to both objects having no locks restraining them. Erron whistled as both chests contain to his delight a hell of a lot of gold which he would of course count later after his last patrol. He closed both chests and placed the objects under his desk before he went back to his journal to finish his entry.

"I think after a year in this palace has been pretty tolerable. I like my boss, can't stand my co-workers and the environment is decent when I'm not about to be killed. Not to mention I get paid an ass-load of gold so money is never an issue. I guess the only way things could go horribly wrong is if someone were to try to start an all-out war between the realms and release the fallen Elder God Shinnok or some crazy magic junk like that. We already have enough problems dealing with Mileena and her rebel forces meaning life should follow a set routine until we deal with her Royal Bitchiness. Anyway here's me ending this journal entry. Felt pretty good to get all of those things off my mind. Think next time I'll do an entry about all these fine females I read about in the archives. Man oh man I would love to show Princess Kitana the business end of my rifle."

Erron Black had to lightly chuckle at his own joke before he quickly added.

"Too bad she's dead though."

He quickly added under that sentence with another thought.

"Maybe the lower regions still work the same even when they're dead?"

He quickly erased the written thought and left to go fix his door.

Okay so time for that typical "Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I've been sooooooo busy" excuse. Alright how do I break this down uuuuuummmmm. I was, *rolls dice* fighting a dragon when, *flips coin* a meteor shower attacked my house so *throws dart at a broad* my internet had gone out for two whole years. Yup.

So yeah thanks for reading and leave a request if you guys want some more.