The lights blare, the dull red over the emergency room an irritant. The blue haired woman seems to stare after it as if in a trance, eyes quivering as she shakes. There is a long nasty looking rash on her arm from where it scraped along the hard earth, tearing away the upper skin layer, but she doesn't seem to notice it, simply holding the baby close against her chest. It seeming none the worse for wear, fast and sound asleep against its mother's chest, oblivious to what is happening around it.

It isn't merely here, thinks Ritsuko, as the young woman had been this way the entire way down to the hospital, quiet and almost alien, like a living doll that is functioning only on the barest of operations. Even when the authorities had come to question her, she'd been nearly robotic in her response, her eyes looking off into the distance. Or so it seemed, but Ritsuko noticed them, noticed how they followed as Suzuhara's body was lifted into the stretcher and then driven away. How she barely seemed to listen to the authorities who were asking her questions. It managed to take away a lot of the heat from Ritsuko herself. Of which she was grateful, though she didn't much care for having to have driven the woman to the hospital with her, just staring blankly out the front window, no longer seeming to respond to outer stimuli. Such a thing... it just really bugs her.

Ritsuko turns away, unable to stand the sight for much longer. Her hand instinctively goes towards her pack of cigarettes before slowly pushing them back into her pockets. Now is not the time to be indulging in such lowly substances, especially when a man's life is on the line due to her negligence.

She bites down on her lower lip. If only she'd been able to hit Ayaanmi instead she'd have been able to cover this up as a nonissue but then that Suzuhara got in the way. Why did he...

"Dr. Akagi," says the woman almost robotically. "Why... why did Suzuhara ... save me?"

Ritsuko looks towards Ayanami, her own words voiced by the doll like figure before her. She shakes her head, sighing. She wonders really how much she has in common with this ... machine like creature? Still though... with nothing better to do, she chooses to answer the woman.

"Honestly?" she says. "I haven't a clue. People do things out of guilt or human nature and there may not be much more to it than that."

"Is that why?" she says, her voice quivering, showing more humanity than Ritsuko is used to hearing from the woman. "He took my place... because of back ... then? Because of the accident? Th-then... is Suzuhara going to die!? Die like I did back then?!"

The sudden break in that sterile emotion as the young woman nearly shouts those words, eyes wide and quivering as tears tremble at the edges of her eyes, is so sudden it catches Ritsuko off guard. It's very... human. Too much for her to feel comfortable with it, having always thought of her as a machine rather than a person. She turns away, unable to handle the image.

"I don't know. The doctors are doing the best they can and we'll... just have to wait and see."

Eyes narrow as the child in the woman's lap begins to stir, beginning to cry and the doll begins to try to comfort the thing. Ritsuko rises, deciding she wants that smoke after all. She never could handle children.


Her breathing is heavy in his ears, the struggle to move on her legs as if unbalanced from lack of use seems to be staggering and taking a serious toll on Ayanami. Her body trembles, shaking violently against his arms as she leans against a wall for support. He stares, worried before she nods that she is alright and he heads back down for the wheel chair, having to figure out a method to bring it up the stairs, folding it up and then unfolding it so that Ayanami has a more simple time heading to the apartment. For once, he wishes they were all on a lower level than being on the third floor as they are.

As he unfolds the chair and moves to help Ayanami, slinging her arm over his shoulder, he hears her whisper, "I'm sorry... Ikari... for being... such a burden."

He pauses as he places her back on the seat, thinking on her words and on his past actions, on his own negligence towards a woman who has his wife's face and tries her all to fill a role the other vacated. How could he have been so selfish to ignore that? To be angry at her for not being good enough?! She's not the one who is a burden, if anything... he is! He just wishes it hadn't taken mixing another woman into his life to see that!

"Ikari...?" she ask quietly.

"Don't say that!" he says through a trembling voice.

She stares with wide eyes as she looks on him. His eyes water as he looks towards this woman which bares the face of his dead wife. A woman who thinks she is her and bears her memories. And like the other, this one will try her hardest to fill that role. Something it has taken him too long to see. Ayanami is not here anymore... but that spirit she always carried, that still is. Even with this one before him. It's time he face that and acknowledge the woman before him.

"Don't say that. You're not a burden!"

"Ikari..."

"I'm... sorry... I'm sorry I haven't been there. I should have supported you more! Done better! I'm sorry I'm just such a damned idiot that I can't do things right! I'm sorry!"

Tears stream down his eyes and he doesn't know how to stop them. He's been a complete fuck up, done things he shouldn't have and let things get to a point where there's no going back. What kind of man is he to have let it get this bad? Ayanami would be so disappointed with him. She'd...

A soft hand caresses his cheek, warm red eyes looking upon his features with a soft smile.

"You're not an idiot, Ikari. You are my husband and have always been there for me when I needed it most. That... is all that matters."

Why? Why is she saying these things? Why does she remind him so... of her?

Unable to cope anymore, he collapses on her being, arms wrapping around her waist as he begins to sob, burying his face in this woman's lap. And through it all, she shushes him quietly, fingers running through his hair, slowly stroking his head. Why, he thinks. Why did it take him so long to realize... what he always wanted was still here all along?


She sucks in a haze of the sweet tasting nicotine, taking it into her lungs and blowing out a mouthful of sickly smoke from her lungs. She watches the sickly gray haze fill the air above her, eyes dreary and tired. This act, taking these small rods of nicotine and taking them into her body has always helped her relax. To calm frayed nerves and shattered senses and make all her troubles go away. It really.. Is the best.

Or so she'd like to think. An itch in the back of her throat, a tickle in her neck and a fit of coughing takes her, doubling the woman over. Her throat burns and thrums with the continued coughing, trying to expel the poisonous substances from her body. Her body shakes and shudders with pain and she leans back, letting the cigarette butt slip from between shaky fingers and simply laughs quietly, looking at the darkening red sky. Even this, which should be her relaxation, is taken from her. It really is all too fitting.

First with Shinji questioning Rei's validity, then bringing out a woman... who she'd thought would be a replica of that ... doll, one that should be unable to function on its own only for the damned girl to wake up and spit on all her studies and theorems. Add to that what Shinji said and she let herself get on edge and try to take it out on the other "Rei" only to hit Suzuhara instead. And now... this. She really is so fucked. But... isn't he right? Wasn't Shinji right to accuse her for all those things? She should have known, should have been aware, but she ignored it. Ignored it, because she thought she was getting back at Yui every time she cut into one of those clones and all she was doing... all she was doing was murdering and hurting people with their own thoughts and feelings. Really, what kind of monster is she?

She looks down at the still bright head of the cigarette between her fingers and glares at the thing, all sense of tranquility from it now gone. Her foot comes down on the cigarette, grinding it into the earth. That's it, she really is a monster. Even so... she has her responsibilities. Her debts to pay. Starting by informing Shinji of the current situation.

She slips the phone out of her pocket and dials Shinji's number, listening to the machine hum with its annoying tone before a soft sniffling voice answers. She sighs. She really doesn't want to hurt him anymore, but he needs to know.

"Shinji..." she starts, freezing her heart as the words spill out. "You need to get down to the hospital. Suzuhara has been in an accident."

She hears as the man's voice stiffens and thinks to herself, this is simply one more cut across Yui's arm. One more cut to prove that she herself is a monster.