A/N: The next story shall be connected to this one and feature a special little bonus that I shall not tell you about.

Also, this one may (or may not) be the start of something longer. I am unsure and not committing to anything.


Patchouli stared.

Unfortunately, this was one of the few problems that she couldn't get to go away by throwing magic at it until it stopped moving. So, she had to try talking, even though she doubted that it would be any more effective.

"Are you sure, Remilia? I've been researching ways to improve my health-"
"For the last twenty years," the little vampire replied, delicately sipping her tea. "And have you acted upon your research?"
"Well, no." Patchouli replied, shifting uncomfortably. "It's a complicated subject and-"
"Then my suggestion is the most logical course of action," Remilia put her teacup down. "Your health hasn't been getting better, Patchy. And ... this is my library, after all."

Patchouli stiffened at the implications. "You would throw me out? After this long?" She asked coldly. "Then ... fine. I will go to this place, old friend."
As Patchouli stormed out, the vampire sighed, picking her teacup up with her left hand.
And blocking the blow aimed at her head with her right.
"You know you don't have a chance," she said calmly, sipping her tea as she threw her attacker back.
"Of course not." Her tail whipping angrily behind her, Patchouli's assistant landed in a crouch.
"But you'll be sorry for upsetting her like that."

"Yes," Remilia nodded, setting her tea down again. "I will. But I'd rather be sorry for forcing her to get better than sorry for watching her get worse, Koakuma."
"I .. I suppose so," the little devil took a step back as the vampire stood, grinning in a way that showed her sharp little teeth.
"Of course, I have to punish you now," Remilia said cheerfully, giggling as Koakuma turned and ran.
"Oh, I love it when they run!"

Patchouli did not like Eientei. Oh, Yagokoro knew what she was doing and she felt a bit better already, but the rabbits were noisy and she couldn't make any of them explode. She missed being able to take her frustrations out on foolish fairy maids.

And her books. She'd already read everything she could get her hands on, and she missed her library.
Perhaps it was because of boredom or maybe she was going into book withdrawal, but Patchouli found herself quickly growing restless.

There was one part of Eientei that she had been told not to go into but, after several days of boredom, Patchouli couldn't restrain her curiosity.
It wasn't as if it was unguarded, but not all of the spells she knew were simply for making things explode. Passing a few rabbits without them noticing was child's play for her.

Unfortunately, what Patchouli found was not a library to rival her own.

In fact, what she found in the little building was similar to Marisa's semi-coherent descriptions of the 'computers' that could apparently be found in that half-youkai's shop. Remembering that they were supposed to be some sort of outside shikigami, she approached it carefully.
When it didn't act like the nine-tailed fox and fling her across the room, she began a closer inspection.

This ... was better than a library.

As she had often done back in the library, Patchouli only noticed that it was night when she glanced up to see that it had gotten dark without her knowing.
Going back to where she was supposed to be wasn't an option, she decided. By now Yagokoro must have noticed that she had gone, and the rabbits would be looking for her. Not that they would be much trouble to avoid, but she was not so sure about evading Yagokoro.
With that decided, she turned back to the computer.

Kaguya smiled to herself. She had seen the vampire's magician wander in and, instead of confronting her, had watched as she found the computer.

Normally, she wouldn't let anyone touch her precious, but the little noise that the magician had made had just been so adorable, as had been her excitement and joy at discovering the internet for the first time. It was cute, and reminded Kaguya a lot of herself.
And, she mused as Patchouli drifted off to sleep with the monitor's light illuminating her lilac hair, the magician was rather cute.
Smiling, she nodded to herself. She'd never set out to do this before, but that would just make it more fun.
Then she frowned.
With the magician asleep in front of her computer, how was she supposed to look up how to seduce her?
There was only one real option.

"Eirin!"


Next time on Touhou Random Shorts!

"I've been in the shower. Did I miss anything?"
"M ... Mima?!"

Also: Koakuma x Marisa Kirisame