Callie and Arizona have put the trauma of the last couple of months behind them and are gradually healing their relationship when a seemingly innocuous incident threatens the very foundations of their love and the possibility of a future together.
Rated: M for language and mature themes.
They say that there are only 7 basic plots, so if this story feels derivative or familiar, I apologise, it probably is. Romance, angst, sex and potty humour to be found herein and not necessarily in that order. I also realise that I didn't do what good writers are supposed to do i.e. arrive late and leave early, the story meanders forever; sorry about that.This is almost exclusive Callie and Arizona, the other GA characters do pop up from time to time but please don't count on a fully fledged GA episodehere.
If the spirit moves you, feel free to leave feedback, constructive criticism or tell me that I used the semi colon incorrectly.
Oh yeah, I speak no Spanish and I have zero medical knowledge. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and all characters belong to ABC, Shondra Rhimes et al. No profit being made here etc, etc etc.
Sincere apologies for the delay. Real life got in the way and I did that stupid thing of writing some the later chapters before this one. I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you for the feedback.
9
Richard Webber came up to Arizona and placed his hand on her shoulder.
To the outside world, he presented his calm authoritarian game face, the one he always wore, but inside he was reeling. How many of his talented staff would he lose to death or disease?
"Arizona, I know this is difficult for you but there are some decisions that need to be made right away, alright?"
He gently led her away from the corridor as he spoke, his eyes searching her face, assessing how much more she was able to withstand.
She was very pale and there was a trickle of blood running from her swollen lower lip.
"We've checked Torres's personal file and she has named you as executor in her advanced directive, I'm assuming that you were aware of this?"
Arizona blinked hard and nodded. She tried to smile as she accepted his folded and starched handkerchief, dabbing at her bruised lip.
"OK, good. You need to make a decision on whether you want to defer to Shepherd's treatment plan of performing the craniotomy or whether you want a medical intervention." Richard paused for moment, he knew that they were preparing Torres for surgery and instinctively knew that most surgeons would always opt to cut first and ask questions later. Not that Shepherd was ever cavalier about the impact surgery would have on his patients but he was likely to press the surgical angle because it was what he knew best.
But Arizona might have a different take and it was her right and duty to consider all the options.
Arizona turned to look at the chief, her eyes barely taking in his concerned face.
The image of Callie collapsed on their bathroom floor crashed through her mind, over and over again.
But Webber's words penetrated the cloud that had descended on her and spoke to her surgical brain.
"Has SIS been confirmed?"
How is it possible that my voice can sound so clear, so strong? How is it that I can ask such a question?
Webber shook his head, "We both know a confirmed diagnosis of Second Impact Syndrome is unlikely ... before ...at this stage." Webber didn't need to add that SIS was usually only confirmed at the post-mortem stage.
"But there are strong indications pointing to it, aren't there?"
Derek appeared at the doorway of the consulting room and caught the end of the statement. He was holding a sheaf of forms, waiting for Arizona's consent.
"Yes. Yes, we know we're now dealing with a traumatic brain injury. The probability that it was caused by a second concussion is high. " He was anxious to get to the OR but Arizona needed to give him the mandate.
But she was shaking her head.
"Her brain can't regulate the blood flow right now, performing a craniotomy will only exacerbate the blood loss, surgery might even induce hypovolemia ."
Arizona stood up and shook her head again, decisively. Her eyes were clear and focused as she looked at her colleagues.
Callie's hair had been spread over the floor and had covered her face. One of her arms was stretched out as if she was reaching for something.
Why wasn't I there for you, baby?
Even as the images crowded her brain, Arizona made the decision quickly, as competently as she knew how. She was acutely, sickeningly aware that this was outside her field of expertise but Arizona trusted her instincts.
"Put her into a coma now. It will give her brain time to heal, the ICP will reduce and ..."
"Arizona, I feel certain that we can manage the bleeding and the elevated ICP by surgery ..." Derek was frustrated by her choice, every minute that he was not operating on Callie, was time was being lost; time that Callie could ill afford.
"Derek, if it's SIS, Callie has almost no chance and we both know this. Operating will not help her, not even a little bit. A coma gives her a chance."
"Arizona..." Derek didn't share Arizona's conviction.
Arizona turned to face him, her blues eyes resembling nothing more than chips of blue ice.
"She doesn't have time for this, Derek. I've made my decision, I need you to carry it out now, or I'll find someone who will."
Exchanging a quick look with Webber, Derek nodded once and left the room.
"They'll take her to the ICU in a few minutes; once the pentobarbital has been administered we can keep a constant monitor on how the ICP is reducing." Webber was talking for the sake of keeping Arizona's attention focused. She understood the procedure as well as he did but his words would serve to distract her from the horrifying enormity of what was happening to her partner. At least he hoped they would. She was standing very still; her eyes were clouded and fixed on a point over his shoulder.
He scrabbled about in his head to remember who she tended to have lunch with, when she wasn't with Torres; right now she needed a friend to hold her hand and to cry with. As sympathetic as he was, he knew Arizona wouldn't be comfortable sharing her grief with him. And right now, she needed comfort.
Arizona rubbed her forehead hard, trying to relieve the pressure behind her eyes. She closed them for a moment.
She had still been in her shortie pyjamas and the top had ridden up a little, exposing Callie's back. Had she been cold, lying there, alone and hurt?
Arizona snapped her eyes open at the image and ground her teeth.
She needed to do something.
She needed to call Callie's parents and wondered how she would be able to say the words without breaking down.
.
Arizona slowly punched the numbers into her phone and checked to make sure that she had dialled correctly. Her hands were shaking so much that she had misdialled the first time round and had got a wrong number.
It was 16:15 in Miami and she knew that Carlos Torres would be at his desk of his conglomerate construction and financial empire or he'd be out on one of his sites, still plying his original trade as an architect.
As Arizona listened to the ringing, she wondered what words she could use.
How do you tell a man that his beloved daughter was in critical condition? A bubble of laughter rose up her throat at the thought. She would give anything if Callie was in critical condition.
The stark truth was that Callie was close to death.
Arizona had avoided the thought over the last 90 minutes and had filled her mind with stats and percentages; anything to remove from the awful, unavoidable reality that Callie might never wake up from the coma.
The fungal infection in her lungs could spread to other parts of her body, causing even more damage to the fragile body. The blood that was rushing to her brain might not stop and her intracranial pressure might rise to a catastrophic level, herniation might occur, causing irrevocable brain damage or death.
The phone dropped from Arizona's numb fingers and she felt her legs give way as the enormity of what Callie was facing really dawned on her.
Richard Webber caught her and gently led her to an armchair, watching her pale face contort, just once with indescribable sorrow.
"Chief, my Callie, my darling girl…. she could die." Her words were broken and soft, almost a whisper of sound that echoed through the hallways and up to the ceiling.
He nodded, just once but said not a word. There really wasn't a single thing to say.
Richard bent over and picked up the discarded mobile phone, holding it in his hands.
"Would you like me to make the call?" He offered, knowing how harrowing it would be for her.
Arizona blinked and realised that she still hadn't spoken to Carlos.
Shaking the lethargy and pain off, Arizona got to her feet and accepted the phone back.
"I have to do this myself." Her voice had regained some measure of strength and she redialled the number.
This time the phone was answered on the first ring and all the pain and fear and sorrow came rushing back as she heard his strong confident voice at the other end.
Arizona took a step backwards and collapsed in the chair behind her.
"Carlos….. this is Arizona…it's …. It's Callie….." She leaned forward and covered her eyes with one hand as she spoke. All of the distress and anxiety that she empathised with as parents worried about their sick children came flooding back as she heard Carlos's voice falter. Right now, like all those times when she held a parent and consoled them, she had to do the same thing with Callie's dad.
"She's very sick, Carlos. You…. you need to prepare yourself and you and Marguerite and Aria need to come as soon as you possibly can."
The full weight and severity of Arizona's words seemed to sink into Carlos and his tone grew heavy with sorrow.
Arizona closed her eyes and shut out the world.
"She's developed a ….. a devastating brain injury and has a lung infection …. We... I opted against surgery and I elected for Callie to be placed in a coma. The next few days ...will determine everything. Carlos, I'm so very, very sorry."
Arizona knew that there was no other way to say the words that were coming next. She owed it to Callie, but also to her family and so, she took a faltering breath and said.
"You may want to bring Father Kevin with you."
.
"What the hell happened?" Cristina ran to the trauma room where Callie had been treated and grabbed hold of Meredith's arm. "One of those idiot interns said that Callie had been brought in ..."
She stopped and looked round, a cold ghost of at memory sending a shiver down her spine. The staff all had expressions of fear and sorrow and she remembered the day that George died. She remembered seeing Derek Shepherd get shot.
A few residents and interns were still milling about, shocked at the events of the last 20 minutes. They were all used to the despair and misery that accompanied many patients to the ER and their training taught them how to be detached, how to stay aloof and not allow the pain of dismemberment, disability or death affect their judgement. But when it was one of their own, a part of their extended family it was almost impossible to emotions at bay.
"Mer, please tell me what going on." Cristina pleaded, her hands suddenly shaking.
Meredith shook her head and swallowed.
"Derek took her up about 10minutes ago. She had increased ICP; I think he was going to do a craniotomy, he was really concerned about herniation."
"For Callie...Callie?" Cristina felt her stomach sink as she recalled her discussion with Arizona a few hours previous. She leaned against the counter and put her head in her hands.
"Shit, Arizona wanted me to go home to check on her, earlier... and then she changed her mind, she thought she was over-reacting."
The women looked at each other silently; they both knew that, with any type of brain injury, time was of the absolute essence. If Arizona had trusted her instincts, Callie's brain injury might have been caught earlier.
"Which OR are they taking her to?"
Meredith turned to respond but noticed Bailey coming up.
"What's happened?"
Bailey shot her a look and then surveyed the lobby. Everyone looked at her. Expectant.
It was against protocol to release information to anyone other than immediate family. But this was part of Callie's family and Bailey knew what she had to do.
"Callie Torres is in critical condition in the ICU. She is being treated for a suspected SIS and a possible fungal infection in her lungs." She waited for a second for the gasps of shock to die down.
"Now, I know you're all concerned but this is a hospital and we all have patients to attend to. The minute there's news, I'm sure someone will let you know." She looked round at the nurses, support staff and doctors and felt the sadness radiate from them adding to her fears for her friend.
"Let's go, now." She spoke with compassion but was firm, looking around for dissent. There was none and the crowd that had gathered for the update quickly went back to work.
"Dr Bailey..." Meredith and Cristina approached the attending as she bent over the computer at the nurse's station.
"I don't have any more news, Dr Grey." She pre-empted Meredith's question, punching the keyboard briskly.
"Second Impact Syndrome? Do you know what the mortality rate for that is?" Cristina was incredulous.
Bailey finally looked up from the PC and they could see the sorrow etched on her face and the sheen of distress in her eyes.
But she was Bailey and would always rise to whatever challenge was thrown at her.
"Yes, Dr Yang I am aware of the mortality rates for SIS, which is why I shall be going to the chapel to say a prayer for Callie and Arizona, right after I finish looking up the latest journals on TBI and rehabilitation."
She punched a few more keys and pursed her lips, grim determination chasing away the sorrow. She would do all she could do and then some.
"All we can really do right now is hope and pray."
.
Meredith led Arizona to the ICU where Callie had been moved to. The rooms were large and airy and there was a concerted but hushed buzz of urgency as teams of doctors and nurses worked to save the lives of all the inhabitants.
Callie was in a private room and as they reached the open door, Meredith paused and placed her hand on Arizona's arm.
"I'm so sorry, Arizona." The sympathy was real but there was a hesitation and Arizona, hyper-sensitive to everything and everyone, right now, caught it.
"What is it? Has something else happened?" Her voice was strained and she tried to reach pass the junior resident to the room. She could see the foot of the bed. A white blanket covered Callie's feet.
"Arizona, please... Derek thought that he was going to do a craniotomy, he...he asked the nurses to prep Callie for the OR." Meredith took a breath, wondering if Arizona would even care at this point.
Arizona nodded just once, her eyes fixed on the bed.
"Thank you. May I enter?"
"Of course," Meredith murmured and stood aside, watching as Arizona paused, straightened her shoulders and walked into the room.
The bed was in the centre of the room, surrounded by monitors and machines and, almost incongruously, bathed in brilliant sunlight from the large window behind the bed.
There was a team of doctors and nurses still working on her, adjusting her drip, administering antibiotics for the infection, ensuring that the catheter was properly placed; and that she was receiving enough oxygen; a dozen and a half little tasks that kept Callie alive. She had all manner of wires, tubes electrodes and monitors attached to her head, her chest, arms, almost every part of her body was attached to a machine.
Callie was lying on her back, the back of the bed slightly elevated and her head was partly covered by white bandages, stark against her pale olive skin. The tube from the shunt was clearly visible and Arizona understood Meredith's warning.
Callie's beautiful black hair had been shorn.
Her long dark eyelashes created a shadow on her cheeks and she almost looked like she was sleeping, her lips were faintly curved, they way they did when she was asleep, as if smiling at a private joke.
Arizona slowly raised her hand to her mouth the hold back the gasp of shock.
She was a doctor. She absolutely knew what to expect.
And yet, seeing Callie; her exuberant, physical, humorous Callie, lying, still, deeply comatose was a sight that was almost impossible for her to deal with. It was an image that made no sense. How could this be real?
Derek looked up at Arizona as she entered the room but gave her a few minutes before approaching her. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder to get her attention, her eyes still trained on the immobile face of her lover.
"We administered the pentobarbital almost immediately and she's deep under right now. We're still hyperventilating her and monitoring the ICP." They both looked at the EEG which was registering the electrical activity in her brain.
The lab results aren't back yet but I consulted Riverton and he's agreed that we start her on the amphotericin B immediately. He'll check on her in a few hours to assess and monitor the effects of the anti-fungal medication. There are some severe side effects so we're going monitor her symptoms very closely and reduce the dosage if necessary."
Arizona nodded. Riverton was a solid pulmonologist and she had consulted with him on a number of occasions.
"Is it my imagination or can I hear Callie wheezing?"
Derek looked at Arizona and she could feel his sympathy, it radiated in waves and Arizona wished she could draw comfort from him, but the only person who could truly comfort her was Callie.
"The infection has taken a hold in her lungs, they're congested and inflamed. The drugs are aggressive and we're ...hopeful that the inflection will remain localised."
Arizona said the word out loud, just to be sure that she wasn't in the grip of a dreadful nightmare.
"Localised?"
"Blastomycosis can spread to any organ, it can infect any tissue."
She swallowed hard once and nodded. Her eyes took on a brightness and Derek thought she might cry but she didn't. Instead she straightened her spine and stuck her chin out.
Arizona looked ready for a fight.
"I guess now, all we do is wait, huh?"
Derek nodded. His eyes took in the time, it was 13:30.
"The next 12 hours are crucial, if...if Callie can get through the next 12 hours, she has a shot. He squeezed her shoulder again and walked away.
Arizona walked over to the side of the bed and looked down into Callie's face. Her bruise was now a lurid purple, blue and yellow and marred to symmetrical beauty of the Latina's face.
She leaned down and pressed her lips to Callie's. They were mildly warm but the obvious lack of response was frightening and Arizona pulled away and stroked her beloved's face gently.
She pulled up a chair and sat down, picking up Callie's right hand, it was her cutting hand and was free of tubes and drips. Arizona linked their fingers and stroked the back of Callie's hand against her cheek.
"Calliope, it's me honey. I'm right here; I'm going to be right here."
.
Teddy didn't say very much.
At a time like this, there wasn't very much to say.
Teddy had lost friends in the combat zone, attended funeral s and shook the hand of the loved ones left behind. There were no words in the human language that could adequately express the sorrow that she felt and so she no longer tried.
As a doctor, she knew that Callie's chances were slim and even though Arizona was, quite literally, living in hope, Teddy felt the weight of her friend's pain keenly. She was also doubtful that Callie would make through the night. But she was Arizona's friend and the very least she could do was offer her support at a time when she needed it the most.
Teddy brought Arizona a jacket to wear over her scrub top and simply sat with her silently for an hour before going off to surgery again, giving her a swift hug before leaving.
.
"Realistically, what are we thinking?"
Derek looked up from a scan he was reviewing.
He shrugged, not happy with the prognosis.
"Right now, I'd give her 15% at a stretch. If she can make it past the 6 hour mark with no regression, I'd bump it up to 20%...
"12 hours? What if she makes it past the 12 hour point?" Meredith pressed.
Derek put down the scanned at looked up at his wife, he understood her need to have something to hold on to, he shared it but he needed to be realistic. Arizona hadn't taken his course of action and he sincerely hoped that Callie didn't pay the price for her decision.
"Her ICP needs to get back to normal, the fluid on the brain needs to reduce significantly, and this has to happen soon to ensure that the brain doesn't suffer permanent damage." He stood up and massaged her shoulders as they slumped at his words.
"And if that isn't bad enough, the infection in her lungs could spread. Right now Rivington is making sure that there are no cross indications with the drugs we're pumping into her."
How's Arizona doing?"
Derek shrugged again. He liked the blonde paediatric surgeon, she was an accomplished and well-respected... well-liked surgeon and she was supportive of her colleagues and fun to be around. He liked her a lot.
"She seems to have shut down a little. She cried a little when she first brought Callie in but has been pretty stoical since then."
"She needs someone to be with her...Do you know where Dr Altman is?"
"Back in the OR, I think."
He ran his hands through his hair, he'd asked to be paged if there were any changes in Callie's condition, but he had a few minutes and decided to go check on her.
"Richard said that she's spoken to Callie's parents; they're on their way."
Meredith chewed her lip.
"How about Arizona's parents?"
Derek shook his head, not understanding.
"Has anyone told Arizona's parents that their daughter needs them?
.
Mark Sloan stood just outside Callie's room and looked in.
Arizona was sitting ramrod straight beside Callie's bed, holding her hand. He thought that she might be talking to her but wasn't sure.
He had spoken to Shepherd and was trying to take it in. Somehow, he couldn't credit how serious the situation was.
Chicken pox and broken noses aside, Callie was always as healthy as a horse, even the knock to her head hadn't kept her down and now Derek had told him that she had a traumatic brain injury and might not survive.
It didn't make any sense and Mark didn't have the first clue what to do or say. So he hovered at the door and watched Arizona; she was talking quietly to Callie. He tried to avoid looking at her but inevitably, his gaze finally settled on the bed and its occupant.
The sight felt like a mule kick to the stomach.
Callie was his buddy. She was his friend in a way no woman had ever been his friend before and though he sometimes liked to tease them about his sexual history with Callie, her steadfast, no bullshit camaraderie was something he valued every bit as much as he did his 30 plus years of history with Derek Shepherd.
This, right here, was just not right.
Mark walked into the room and caught some of the whispered words.
"...for some reason they sound so English and proper but Imogen and Imelda could be options...and I've always loved Paloma and Ariela. I really would like them to have at least one Spanish name and of course they'll be bilingual... I really need to start Spanish lessons, don't I? The kids will run circles round me if I don't know what they're up to, right? Boy's names might be a little tricky, I've ..."
Mark cleared his throat, almost unmanned by the one-sided conversation. He looked into Arizona's face as she looked up at him and tried to smile, her eyes not meeting his.
"Jesus, Arizona, how can you stand it?" He blurted out, unthinking.
Arizona turned back to Callie, rubbing the hand she held lightly.
There was no way she could answer his question, so she didn't try. People came and went, offering support and commiseration and Arizona had nothing to say to anyone. Her entire focus was on Callie. Arizona had no clear idea of how she was holding it together; the only thing she held onto was Bailey reminding her that she needed to be strong for Callie.
And that's what she was doing.
Being as strong as she knew how.
Reminding Callie of all the things that she had waiting in her future.
All the things that they had shared and all the plans they had made.
The time was 17:45 and there had been only a marginal improvement in her EEG readings.
"Thank you for coming, Mark." Her gaze had returned to Callie's face and Mark wondered if she had left her side at all in the hours since Callie had been brought in.
"Do you want to take a break, Arizona, get some food? I'll stay with her..."
Arizona was shaking her head.
"I'm fine." She offered him a genuine but weak smile. "Thank you, Mark...I can't leave her...not right now...I just can't."
"It's ok. I understand," Mark soothed, not wanting to distract or upset Arizona. He stood by her for a second, unsure if he should stay and Arizona spoke up.
"Stay awhile, Mark. Keep us company?"
Relieved, Mark pulled up a chair and Arizona resumed her conversation with Callie.
"So, boy's names, huh? Perhaps Mark can give us some pointers on what to avoid."
Mark cleared his thought and looked at his friend.
She was his friend, his buddy and even if it killed him, he was going to treat her like he always did.
"Well, you want something brisk and manly, like Mark, for example ..."
.
It was 19:30 and Arizona was looking through the notes made by Callie's nurse. Her ICP had fallen slightly and the EEG results were encouraging. But Callie's temperature was rising rather than falling though her wheezing was getting better. It seemed that the anti-fungal medication was working on the infection but the side effects were becoming detrimental. The fever could begin to upset the delicate balance of blood flow to the brain.
Someone approached the door and without looking up Arizona made a request.
"Page Dr Rivington for me, please. I think we need to review the dosage on her amphotericin B. She's becoming symptomatic."
Arizona looked up as she realised that it wasn't a nurse or a doctor hovering.
Professor Marguerite Torres stood at the doorway both hands pressed tightly against her mouth, horror etched on her face as she stared at her older child.
Arizona jumped out of her chair and hurried over to her.
They had never met personally but as Arizona stared at Marguerite, she realised again where Callie got her beautifully expressive eyes from.
She touched to woman, gently on her shoulder and spoke gently.
"Marguerite, it's me, Arizona."
The woman gasped quietly and turned to Arizona and without a word pulled her into a tight hug. The lump in Arizona's throat solidified and the ache of tears that would not fall grew unbearable. But she wrapped her arms around Callie's mother and rocked the older woman as she sobbed on Arizona's shoulder.
Arizona had spoken to Marguerite and Aria on numerous occasions over the last few months and they had a far more relaxed relationship to the one she had with Carlos, who tended to be a little more formal with her. Arizona had always thought that she would be intimidated by Callie's academic mother but the Dean of Literature at Florida University was a down to earth woman with a sense of humour and an open heart.
As the woman swallowed her tears and pulled away, Arizona could see Carlos talking to Derek Shepherd, both men approaching the room.
"Where's Aria?"
"She's gone to the chapel first. She didn't want to see me break down and she knew that I would, so she's gone there for a few minutes to prepare herself."
Arizona nodded but made no comment.
The sisters had an interesting dynamic and though Arizona had always thought that Aria was a little too self-involved, the 30 year old loved Callie and despite her silence during the period that Callie had been estranged from the family had treated Arizona with an easy and relaxed manner.
Arizona led a hesitant Marguerite to Callie's bedside and motioned for her to take a seat.
"Talk to her, let her know that you're here and that you love her. You can hold her hand." Arizona watched for a moment before catching the eye of a nurse and repeating her request for a page for Riverton.
Arizona stepped outside Callie's room and approached Carlos and Derek, who were still talking.
"Arizona, my poor child. How are you coping?" Carlos turned to Arizona and enveloped her in an unexpected hug. Arizona blinked at the gesture.
She shook her head in reply. How could she begin to explain or even describe the emotions that had churned through her over the last 6 hours.
"Won't you go in to see her?" Arizona was curious that he had opted to get an update on her progress rather than seeing her first.
He gave a strange fast shake of his head and turned back to Derek.
"So, what you're saying is that the brain injury is as a result of the first concussion Calliope received last week and the lung infection is equally serious but unrelated?"
"The infection started out like a cold and we know that she had been sneezing earlier on. We think that a particularly strong sneeze caused a second concussion, which led to the traumatic brain injury." Arizona explained as simply as she could.
"That's correct, Mr Torres." Derek shot a look at Arizona but carried on speaking.
"Callie is showing some signs of improvement but it really still is early days yet. We have an excellent pulmonologist who is monitoring the chest infection and the drugs are beginning to work but ..."
"It's early days yet." Carlos echoed Derek's earlier words.
"Wasn't there some surgery that you could have done instead of putting her into a coma?"
Derek's jaw tightened at the question but Arizona responded immediately.
"We had very limited options, Carlos. Derek was in favour of performing a procedure called a craniotomy, where he would have removed a small portion of Callie's skull, to release the pressure in her...
Carlos was nodding his head rigorously.
"Yes. Yes, I understand. So why didn't you perform the operation?"
Arizona felt a presence at her side and turned to see a pale and subdued Aria Torres standing beside her. The younger woman slipped her hand into Arizona's and gripping it tightly, offered a tearful smile but said nothing.
"I instructed Derek to take the less invasive, more measured approach. The condition that we think Callie has, has meant that the blood flow to her brain can't be regulated. Surgery would not have helped her. I think that surgery would have done immeasurably more harm than good."
Derek kept silent. He didn't completely agree with Arizona's diagnosis but she was accurate when she said that their choices had been severely limited. She was the person making the calls and she was a talented surgeon. She was entitled to have a difference of opinion with him.
"I don't understand, what do you mean the condition that you think she has? Don't you know what's wrong with my daughter?" Carlos looked from Arizona to Derek and back again, his voice beginning to rise.
"Carlos, all of the symptoms that Callie has point to a condition known as Second Impact Syndrome. It's not very common and is usually found amongst contact sport athletes. The injury to Callie's brain, the second concussion has created a problem with the blood vessels in her brain; they've opened wide and flooded her skull with fluid. " Arizona looked at Callie's father making sure that he understood. She could feel Aria's grip tighten as she spoke.
"The extra fluid has now created an imbalance of fluid in the brain and this is called a cerebral oedema, we're trying to correct that imbalance and I decided ..."
Carlos seemed to lose patience and shook his head angrily.
"OK fine, but why aren't you doing something, surely there's an operation that can fix this, this cerebral oedema?"
Arizona took a breath and straightened her shoulders. She knew Carlos could be an impatient and difficult man now dealing with a life threatening injury to his favourite daughter, she knew that she couldn't expect him to be reasonable or calm.
"Carlos, we are doing something. I'm sure Derek gave you an update on the purpose of the coma?" She shot a look at Derek, who confirmed with a nod of his head.
She turned to Callie's father. She could tell that he was burying his distress in anger.
"The coma will give her brain time to adjust, to correct the fluid imbalance ... we just have to give it time."
"So, she'll make a full recovery ... when? When will she wake up? When will she be ok?"
Derek shook his head.
Mr Torres, Callie is seriously ill. Right now, with this course of medical intervention, there is some hope, we're hopeful. But her brain injury is traumatic."
Carlos swung away, his eyes blinking rapidly.
"No. No. I don't understand."
He turned back to Arizona, his eyes flashing and she was taken back to the first time she met him, watching as he flung two full grown men up against the wall.
"Explain to me again, why you felt surgery wasn't an option. Why you're just letting her lie there..."
"I opted for the coma because I don't want Callie to die. Not today, not now." Arizona burst out, her voice low and raw. Her eyes were red-rimmed and scratchy but the tears still would not fall. She could feel Aria's other hand hugging her arm.
"She still has a chance. While in the coma, she has a chance." Arizona heaved a shuddering breath and calmed her wildly beating heart. She needed to conserve her energy and she needed to back at Callie's side.
"Derek is a wonderful, talented surgeon but in my opinion, had he operated on Callie earlier, she'd be dead right now. And that's why I thought surgery wasn't an option."
Carlos Torres moved his mouth but words didn't come out.
"You should have consulted me first..."
"There wasn't time for that...," Derek interjected but Aria interrupted, speaking for the first time. Her eyes flashed as passionately as her father's had and, for a heart-stopping moment, Arizona saw the uncanny resemblance the sister's sometimes shared.
"Daddy, no. No. Callie told us that she made Arizona her executor, we all knew this."
"I am her father."
"And Arizona is her partner. You know this, Daddy. Arizona's claim to Callie is greater."
Carlos ran both hands over his bald head and squeezed his eyes tightly closed.
Aria released Arizona's hand and went to comfort her father.
"Callie y Arizona necesitan nuestro amor y el apoyo en este momento, el Papá, no esto. Sé que es trastornado. Todos estamos tristes pero Arizona adora Callie y hará todo hacer su mejor."
Arizona's eyes went from Carlos's face to Aria's and saw the tension leave his body at her words.
"I'm sorry Arizona, I just can't ..."
"Let's go and see her, shall we?" Arizona held out her hand to him and without looking up, like a child he took her smaller hand and allowed himself to be led into the room that filled him with dread.
.
It was midnight and Arizona was sitting in the chapel on her own, a mobile phone clutched in her hand.
She knew it was pretty much unacceptable to have a phone in the chapel, but it was midnight and there was no one for her to disturb.
Perhaps she should have made this call hours ago but she hadn't really thought about it. In truth, she hadn't thought about much over the last 12 hours other than Callie, her mind empty of almost all thought; her emotions had been carefully stored away, locked up and inaccessible. Earlier, Arizona couldn't afford to allow her emotions to cloud her mind or her judgement, not when things were hanging in the balance.
But now, perhaps, now would be a good time to let her emotions run free.
She leaned forward so that her head rested on the polished wooden pew in front of her, it was cool against her forehead and Arizona realised that she was still wearing her scrub cap. It seemed so long ago since she began her preparation for the splenectomy with Alex Karev. It still seemed incongruous that the events of the last 12 hours weren't the product of a dreadful, sick nightmare.
Arizona looked at the time display on the phone.
It was 00:06 here in Seattle, considering the time difference, her parents would have been in bed for some time now, and a call at this hour would alarm them, but she needed to make the call now.
She hit the speed dial number for her father's phone and blinked as her eyes blurred.
It was picked up on the third ring.
"Arizona. It's late...early, what's wrong?" Her father sounded slightly gruff from sleep but completely alert.
"I'm sorry to call so late, Sir..."
"Child, tell me what's wrong, is it Calliope?" The gruffness was replaced by a gentle tone and Arizona felt a sob rise in her throat at his voice and use of her childhood nickname.
"Daddy...she's...dying. Calliope is dying." Her breath hitched with every word she uttered. "Her brain injury got worse and she has an infection ... I don't know what to do anymore..." Arizona raised her head from the pew and closed her eyes. They were dry and scratchy and she had a blinding headache from the build up of pressure behind her eyes.
"Her family are with her right now with her priest. They're... they're giving her the last rights...I couldn't watch...I can't ..." Arizona didn't know how to use her words, couldn't form coherent sentences. She wanted to find a dark warm space to crawl into, somewhere that would block out all the light and sound and signs of living. Arizona wanted to disappear into that space and never come out.
"We'll get the next flight out..."
"No. No, Daddy not...right now. Not yet." Another sob rose in her throat and she wondered if the dam would burst.
"I'll call you again in the morning...if...if..." Arizona couldn't say it. She could not give full credence to what was happening.
"Carlos will want to take her back to Miami and I can't say no to that. I can't deny them that..." Arizona slumped back, the simple wooden pew the only thing preventing her from crumpling into a heap. All her energy had been sapped by the emotional tsunami that was raging through her.
"Whatever you want, Child, just tell us, you understand?"
She swallowed hard, her father's firm voice bringing her back to the present; she could hear her mother's voice in the background, asking for the phone.
"I love you, Arizona and I'm sorry this is happening to you and Calliope."
"Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir." It was easier for her to revert back to her customary formality with her father than respond to the open love and compassion in his voice.
"Sweetheart, my darling baby girl, what do you want us to do?"
At her mother's gentle loving voice, Arizona dropped her head, her chin resting on her chest and felt the love envelope her, warming her frozen soul, nourishing her.
"Baby, why don't you let us come right away? We can get a flight and be there in a few hours." Mary Robbins' voice was firm and clear, the distress was evident but she was a practical woman who had buried a son. She had some experience of the devastating pain and fear that was wracking her daughter's body right now. All she wanted to do was alleviate some of that pain.
"Mom, if you came, it would make it real...I'm not ready...I just can't deal with that thought, Mom. I can't..." Arizona knew that she was being irrational but she was being honest. She knew there was little hope but she clung to it, that tiny sliver of hope, the way a soul lost in the darkness of purgatory seeks out a pinprick of light and hangs on to it like a pathway to heaven.
Callie was still breathing. Her heart, her good, fierce heart was still beating.
She hadn't let go and neither would Arizona.
Arizona said goodbye to her parents and hung up, loathe to leave the bubble of comfort and love their presence had created but equally unable to handle the overwhelming emotions that their love wrought in her. Her mind went to Danny and, as always when she thought of him, a wave of sorrow ran through her. He had been her staunchest ally, her best friend and she missed him every day.
Arizona closed her eyes.
How would she ever cope if she lost Callie as well?
God, Country, Core.
It had been, it was her father's mantra and though Arizona would never describe herself as religious, she did believe in a Higher Being, something greater than herself and so, she sank to her knees and bowed her head, praying to God not to take Calliope away from her.
.
Derek reviewed Callie's vitals.
If she was going to recover she should have shown marked improvement by now.
She hadn't.
Sick to his stomach, he'd spoken to Arizona and Callie's family and watched, impotent as Arizona's eyes went very dark and blank and Carlos Torres asked for permission to call their priest from the waiting room.
He'd observed Arizona speak briefly to the priest, shake his hand and walk out of the room, her back straight and her eyes clear.
He had tried to offer his sympathies but she had simply said that she was going to the chapel for a while and would be back soon.
It had been more than 12 hours since Callie had been admitted and had she been on life support, had she been some other patient, he would have recommended switching the machines off and letting the patient go, letting them rest in peace.
But this was one of his people, part of his extended family and he had spent every free hour, between rounds and a 3 surgeries thinking of studies and trials that might help in some way.
He had come up empty.
Watching the ritual carried out by the priest, seeing Callie's mother sob quietly and her father and sister watch, distraught as Father Kevin O'Donoghue anointed her forehead with oil and say a prayer, Derek shepherd found that he couldn't just watch and let them say goodbye.
There had to be something else he could do.
.
Arizona sat very still. Her hands were folded neatly in her lap and her head was bowed.
All Derek could see was the top of her head, there was no indication that she had understood or even heard what he had said.
"I realise that I should have paged you first but it was a long shot and I didn't want to raise your hopes unnecessarily..." Derek paused and looked over at Webber who had given his approval for the procedure. Arizona still hadn't said a word.
"Arizona, this is good news...the ICP reduced considerably, her CSF is literally back to normal, we can start to wean her off the barbiturates."
Arizona finally looked up and they could both see the strain etched on her face.
She had been at Callie's side for 12 solid hours, not taking a break or leaving except when she first spoke to Carlos Torres and when the last rites were administered. She was almost grey with fatigue and tension. Derek wasn't entirely sure that the news had even registered.
Derek had decided to put in another shunt to increase the drainage of excess fluid from Callie's skull. Medically, the procedure shouldn't have had any value; it shouldn't have made any difference.
But it had.
The cerebral oedema dissipated almost immediately and the pressure in her brain stabilised within minutes.
There had been no good reason for Derek to have performed the procedure but he had and for reason that escaped him, it had worked.
Arizona blinked up at him, her eyes glassy and distracted.
"I was down in the chapel, talking to my parents...praying, if you can believe it. Begging God not to take Callie away from me and now you tell me that her brain is undamaged and we can bring her out of the coma... just like that? What about the blastomycosis?" Arizona was curiously stilted and Derek realised that she was slightly in shock.
Richard Webber responded, "Rivington is checking her now, the fever levelled out, once we reduced the meds and the wheezing has cleared but she still on 100% O2 for the time being. We won't know if the infection has spread for a while yet, but the lab's running more cultures as we speak."
Derek crouched down beside her and immediately noticed the whiteness of her knuckles, her hands were gripping each other so tightly and he could feel the tremors wracking her body.
"Arizona, you're depleted right now, you need fluids just to replenish your stock, get some rest. Callie is not out of the woods yet but things are a much, much better."
She nodded slowly and stood up. She swayed on her feet and both men rushed forward to support her.
"I need to be with her."
"Arizona ..."
"I know I need to take care of myself, I'll get some rest ...I...I just need to see her for a minute."
Arizona's mind was in a jumble. She could see her hands shaking and for a moment wished that she'd been able to break down and cry, if only for a while. She felt as if she was filled to overflowing with a seething mass of nameless emotions that churned and boiled within her, robbing her of rational thought and feeling. Arizona knew that she would live with the emotion until Callie woke up. There was no other relief or comfort that she wanted.
She turned her mind to Derek's words again.
Callie was getting better.
The words that he had uttered were everything she'd hoped for, barring Callie actually waking up hale and hearty, they were everything she'd prayed for and yet she couldn't take them in. She couldn't treat them as the most precious words ever to be spoken not because she didn't believe them but because she wanted them so badly, she knew that she would be crushed, utterly, if something else went wrong.
So, Arizona held onto her hope and kept her optimism in check. She'd celebrate and be happy when Callie woke up.
Not before.
.
"Seriously?" Cristina questioned
"Seriously." Meredith confirmed.
Cristina had checked in with Arizona during the night and found that Callie had improved and was being brought out of her chemically induced coma.
She had come into work on her day off, expecting to find Callie if not actually awake but at least further down the road of recovery.
But that would have been far too simple.
"So, do we know if the infection spread to her brain or not?"
Meredith was due to go finish her shift but knew that Derek wouldn't leave until he had done everything for Callie, so she was heading to an on-call room for some sleep.
"Derek's just done a biopsy and we're waiting on the lab results. She's had an MRI and CAT scan and they can't tell why she's not waking up."
"Wait, but she'll still have traces of barbiturates in her system, right?" Cristina chewed on her thumb and tried to work out a diagnosis."Maybe that's what's causing the sluggishness."
"She's not sluggish; she's dead to the world. And, yes. They've already considered that the barb coma might be screwing things up a little. But that's not it. Her EEG should be showing more activity. It spiked briefly and now...nothing."
"So, Callie's in a coma, for real this time?"
"Callie's in coma for real."
.
Arizona stood at the foot of Callie's bed and watched her intently; her eyes were fastened to the ventilator as it contracted rhythmically pushing necessary oxygen in her inert lungs.
A nurse came in and after sparing Arizona a brief glance got on with her task of checking her vitals and noting the results down on her chart.
Callie's face was immobile, too still, like a marble sculpture in museum and Arizona shivered at the thought. Somehow this could not be real, this person, sunk in silent repose, could not be Calliope Torres. Not her Callie. Where was her vitality, her lust for life? Where was her laughter, her beautiful smile, her expressive eyes? Where was her passion?
Arizona faintly heard the gentle sound of splashing and looked at her hands in wonder at the tears that had fallen from her eyes, were still falling, silent and steady like an unearthly stream that would never cease to flow.
Arizona turned her attention back to the figure on the bed, the figure that was Callie and yet not her. Had the essence of the woman that she loved left, without her knowing? Arizona looked about the room for a second, distracted, as if she could see Callie's soul seeping away into the dark night.
"Callie, please wake up." She whispered the words softly into the room and screamed them madly in her head.
"You are going to have to let her go. You know that, right?" Mark Sloan was standing beside her, his hands sunk into the pocket of his lab coat. His hair had grown shaggy and he was unshaven. But he was here.
Arizona refused to look at him, refused to acknowledge the words he had spoken.
"I know you hear me in there, Blondie. You have to say goodbye. You have to turn off the ventilator."
"No. No. No." She said the words like a mantra, her eyes, red-rimmed and over flowing and stared at Callie, willing her to fight against the machine, to choke and pull at the tube.
Baby, please wake up for me. Please.
"Arizona, this has gone on long enough. You're making her suffer."
Arizona's head whipped round at his comment. It was callous. It was a lie.
"She is not in any pain." Arizona wanted to go to Callie, to stroke her head, touch her hand, place a kiss on her cold, chapped lips, but was rooted to the spot, as immobile a statue.
"She's not in any pain." She repeated, straining at the forces that kept her still.
Mark wandered up to the ventilator and took a look.
"You know you need to do this." His hand paused on the electrical switches.
Suddenly, Arizona was beside him, her open hand swinging through the air and landing on his face. The force of the blow hurt her hand. It hurt her hand...her hand.
Arizona woke up and rubbed her hand.
It had been resting next to her head on the side of Callie's bed and gravity had gradually pulled it off the bed and smacked it into the side of the chair she was sitting in.
She gritted her teeth and kept the bile down.
It was only a dream.
It was only a dream.
Mark would never be so cruel and Callie wasn't at that point.
Yet.
The notion crept in and Arizona physically shook her head to rid it of the thought too unbearable to imagine.
One day at a time.
Callie simply needed time to heal.
Callie had been a coma for three days and though the tests had shown that her brain was free of the fungal infection that had caused so many other problems, she still hadn't woken up.
.
Arizona lay propped up on one side on the bed beside Callie and stroked her face. She knew that the nurses would chase her off, the minute they saw her but she grabbed a few minutes closeness with Callie because she desperately wanted to feel her warmth and body next to her. She had been home on precisely 2 occasions since Callie's collapse and both times was to shower and change.
Since then, she had slept in Callie's ICU room or in an on-call room and used the staff showers.
Arizona nuzzled against Callie's neck and very vaguely mourned the loss of her rich, luxuriant hair. She loved Callie's hair but it would grow back.
"Sweetheart, where are you? Why won't you come back to me?" Arizona murmured the words softly, almost to herself as she continued to stroke Callie's cheek, her exposed arms; anywhere she could touch her bare skin.
"Do you remember taking me to see Tosca? It wasn't that long ago." She paused as if expecting Callie to reply.
"Calliope, you said you'd kill for me, you said you'd die for me. I don't want that from you, darling, I want you to live for me. Can you do that for me, sweetheart, please? Live for me baby. That's all I want."
Arizona buried her face in Callie's neck and for the first time she allowed the tears to fall. Quietly, softly, Arizona wept all the tears of grief, pain and sorrow that had been pent up for days.
"I'm broken, Callie. Now I'm broken. And only you can fix me. Please wake up, my love."
The tears stopped as quickly as they started and Arizona laid her head on Callie's shoulder, her fingers entwined with Callie's unresponsive fingers.
"Calliope, you're my joy, my peace, my strength. I cannot do this without you, you must wake up."
.
It was the end of her shift and Bailey wanted nothing more than to get home a read little Tuck a story before getting him settled for bed. But, as she had done every day for the last 5 nights, she went up the 2 flights of stairs to the ITU to check on Callie Torres.
Miranda Bailey was a dedicated and gifted surgeon. She knew this. She knew that in any given OR, on any given day of the week there were few that could match her talent and her tenacity. But, for all that, she was a pragmatic woman. She knew that now, all they could do was play the waiting game. And so, while she waited, Bailey would visit Callie, she would talk to her, comfort her distraught partner and she would remember them both in her prayers.
As she approached the darkened room, her eyes automatically flitted to the display on the machines, checking the reassuring beep of the heart monitor, hearing the pneumatic puff and hiss of the ventilator. Callie might not be out of her coma but she was still alive and that meant that she was still fighting.
Bailey quickly realised that she wasn't alone in the room and she fairly rocked back on her heels at the sight that meet met her eyes.
Why in tarnation was she always the one that had to deal with these fools and their complicated love lives?
"Ahem. " She cleared her throat, announcing her presence.
"What exactly is it that you think you are doing?"
Liz Bennett was gently running a brush through Callie's dark hair, what was left of it, her head had been bent low and it seemed that she had been whispering, god knows what, into Callie's ear.
The redhead looked up at Bailey and offered her a tired smile.
"Hey Miranda. I'm brushing Callie's hair."
"You saw me take perform an appy today, so you knowI'm not blind. I can see that what you're doing, I'd like to know why?"
"I just thought it would be nice to..." Liz gestured to the woman in the bed, a flash of emotion crossing her face. At Bailey's raised, enquiring and, it has to be said, insistent eyebrows, she continued.
"I thought it would be nice to be a friend." She pushed her hand through her curly hair, pushing the dark russet strands aside.
"Uh huh, a friend, you say?" Bailey sauntered up to Liz and plucked the hairbrush out of the anaesthetist's hands. Without actually turning it into a scrum, she bustled the woman away from Callie, forcing her to take a few steps away from the bed.
"Well, that's real nice of you, Elizabeth, real nice. But Callie already has friends. Her friends are more than capable of brushing her hair and keeping her company. Callie doesn't need new friends, especially friends who seem more interested in climbing into her draws." Bailey pursed her lips and stared the other woman down.
Liz blinked at Bailey's fierce commentary and for a moment wondered at the fact that Bailey was the second woman to rush to defend Callie's honour. What was is about this woman that had people, herself included, falling over themselves for her.
"C'mon, Miranda," she tried to laugh her presence off. "I thought you didn't gossip with the nurses."
"I don't gossip with anyone." Bailey corrected sharply, "But I do have ears and I do know what goes on in this hospital." She placed the brush down and gently straightened Callie's arm as it rested, unresponsive on the bed beside her. She shot a hard look at Liz who was fiddling with the zip of her coat.
"I know you did not come not here to mess with poor girl's mind or worse, upset Arizona Robbins?"
"Umm..." Liz hadn't, not really, but she also didn't have a good answer. She hadn't planned on doing more than stopping by, certainly nothing so intimate as brushing Callie's hair but she had reached our her hand to touch her face and without giving it much thought, had found herself whispering quietly and stroking the brush through the heartbreakingly short tuffs of hair.
Bailey shifted her weight to one foot and barely restrained from tapping the other one with annoyance. Liz Bennett was just asking for a dressing down and as much as she wanted to, Bailey wasn't going yell at her in Callie's room. She walked over to the smaller woman and gently touching her by the arm, she ushered her out of the room.
"Dr Bennett, I suggest that a friendly thing to do would be to send flowers. Perhaps with a tasteful, yet impersonal Get Well Soon card." She stood at the threshold, clearly barring any return.
"You have a nice evening and I'll be sure to tell Arizona you stopped by." Her voice was dripping in saccharine and Liz winced slightly.
"You'll do nothing of the sort, will you, Miranda?"
"If you need to ask that question then you already know the answer. Go home. There's nothing for you here." Bailey's voice reverted back to its customary caustic tone.
Liz smiled slightly as she turned to leave. "You must love them both very much."
But Bailey merely widened her eyes in exasperation. "Go."
Liz nodded thoughtfully and then quietly walked away.
Miranda Bailey closed her eyes for a second and then returned to Callie's bedside and looked down at her friend.
"Callie Torres, I swear to god, the minute you wake up I'm going to give you the ass-whooping of a lifetime for making me have to deal with all this nonsense. "
.
"Hey baby, I have a surprise guest for you." Arizona walked into Callie's room and adjusted the bright purple comforter that covered her hospital issue blanket. Arizona had brought in one or two items from home including Callie's I-Pod and docking station. Some of Callie's favourite music had been played round the clock in the time that she had been here.
"Hey Dr Callie. Sorry to hear you're not well." Josiah Benton shifted his weight from one foot to the other and looked over at Arizona, who nodded encouragingly, a wide smile on her face. She had nearly been brought to tears when one of the nurses had pointed out Josiah in the waiting room. He had come in asking to see Callie or Arizona and he had his violin with him.
"So, like, they took my cast off a few weeks back and I've been hitting the gym and the physio just like to said and I have to tell you, the work out...it's a major pain." The young man relaxed a little and shuffled closer to the bed, looking over the equipment and at Callie's face as he spoke.
"But I have to admit, there are some really hot chicks that do physio with me and you'd never guess but they're really into me being a musician ...I've never been so popular. It totally rocks." Josiah looked over at Arizona and they shared a laugh.
"Anyway, I wanted to come by and say thank you and all and...well, I'm not back to my best yet, but Julliard are going to reserve my place and the physio people say I'm doing really well." He dried up, and ducked his head, clearly a little shy.
"Dr Arziona said that you'd like this...it's not perfect but...
"Josiah, it'll be perfect...just play." Arizona smiled her encouragement.
Quickly pulling out his violin, Josiah settled his instrument between his chin and shoulder and began playing for Callie.
Arizona could feel the tears gather in her throat at the music, it was beautifully melodic and joyous and for a brief moment in time as the young teenager played in that hospital room, with his baggy low-slung jeans and Nike trainers, Arizona closed her eyes and pretended that she and Callie were anywhere but here; hand in hand, happy and in love.
.
"Where's Arizona now?" Derek asked as he reviewed his pager again. He and Meredith were running to Callie's room.
"She had an emergency appy on a 4 year, she won't be long."
"Surgery, really? Did Webber think that a good idea?" Derek was distracted for a second at the news that instead of resting as he had instructed, Arizona had been working in the OR when she wasn't at Callie's side.
Meredith shrugged. "She says it helps keep her sane and frankly, I can't blame her. All this waiting must be killing her."
"Shall I page her?" she asked.
"No. Let me do an exam first. I don't want to spook Arizona during a surgery. Get someone to bring her to me the minute she comes out of surgery."
They arrived at ICU and hurried over to the EEG monitor to review the results.
"What's wrong...has something happened?" He got to his feet and looked anxiously at his daughter.
Derek turned to Carlos Torres who had been sitting at Callie's side reading a book out loud. He shook his head briefly but went back to examining the new information.
"Mr Torres, we need you to wait outside for a moment so that Dr Shepherd can work..." Meredith and a nurse began to usher Carlos out.
"Wait, wait, please tell me what's happening..." Carlos had gone pale and getting a nod of confirmation from Derek, Meredith gripped his arm and smiled at Callie's dad.
"Her brain is showing signs of activity, Mr Torres. She may be coming out of the coma, we need to see if she can breathe on her own."
"What...what about brain damage? Will she be alright?"
"It's too early to tell, Mr Torres, we really need the room now so that we can look after Callie, ok?"
Nodding , Carlos reached over and patted Callie's covered foot and hurried out of the room.
Derek looked up and Meredith could see the optimism written all over his face.
"She's waking up, there's no question about it."
.
Callie felt as if she was being held underwater.
She couldn't breathe, she couldn't see and her limbs felt weak.
She was in a nightmare. All she had to do was wake up.
Callie tried to push through the mist and clouds that fogged her brain and clouded her path but she couldn't. Her eyes wouldn't open and when she tried to call out, no words would come.
There were voices and she tried to move in the direction, hoping to attract attention.
There was a restrained chorus of words and sentences and Callie strained to hear one voice. She'd heard it before, somewhere...somewhere; it was a gentle, soothing voice, sometimes pleading and tearful, sometimes forceful and commanding but always there. The voice was always there comforting her fears. There was also a warmth, like sunlight on her hand and the sensation soothed her, took away her fears. She was safe here.
Callie strained but for a moment and realised that she was too tired. She decided to stop fighting against the mist and cloud and just rest for a minute and then she would open her eyes and wake up.
.
"Goddamnit."
Arizona was sitting by Callie's side, still in her scrubs and holding Callie's hand between hers, stroking it, trying to imbue some warmth and life into the limb.
"What happened?" Arizona was staring at Callie's face and didn't look up at Shepherd's frustrated exclamation.
"She's slipped back, not as deep as before but she was almost out."
"Is there anything we can do?" she asked.
"We could extubate her, try and force her body to start working on its own, but it's a risky manoeuvre. She's been intubated for over a week, taking the tubes out is one thing but if she doesn't breathe spontaneously..."
"Her throat will be too swollen to re-intubate her." Arizona nodded. She had been shocked and then frightened when she found Meredith waiting for her the minute she came out of her surgery but after hearing the news, for the first time she had allowed that tiny sliver of hope to blossom, just a little bit. Arizona believed now, like never before that they were going to come out of this and she was not letting go of that belief.
"Calliope, baby, you're killing me here. Quit messing around and wake up for me, hmmm?" She leaned forward and placed a kiss on Callie's, now almost blemish-free, forehead. The swelling had gone and the bruise had finally paled to a small patch of dark yellow.
"Your poor mother is going grey and Aria and I have smoked enough cigarettes to pollute the western seaboard and...and I'm pretty sure your dad thinks that we're all incompetent here and is planning to whisk you away to Florida." Arizona kept up her commentary with Callie, as she had done every day. Sometimes she talked utter rubbish like now but more often than not, she'd tell Callie about her day or the latest gossip from Mark. And occasionally, when she could just about bear the pain, Arizona would talk to Callie about their plans for the future. It was a bittersweet and infinitely heartbreaking thing to discuss birthing plans and children's names and the possibility of a wedding with someone who might not be there to share it with you, but Arizona did it anyway. She would anything if it meant that it would help Callie find her way home.
Arizona caught the movement and stood up so quickly, she knocked her chair over.
"Derek ...I think she's trying to swallow."
Derek looked up from the EEG and hurried over.
"No readings from the monitor, are you sure?"
Arizona knew that the mind cold play tricks. She was under inordinate stress, had she imagined it?
Her eyes had wandered down from her curved lips to her stubborn chin and finally rested on her throat.
She shook her head and flicked a glance at Derek.
"I'm sure. The movement was slight, perhaps just a reflexive twitch, but she moved."
Even as they discussed the possibility of bringing Callie out of her coma a number of things happened simultaneously; the EEG monitor began recording activity at a phenomenal rate, at a normal, healthy rate, the heart monitor starting showing that Callie's heart rate had hiked up and finally Callie started to choke.
Controlled panic erupted as all hands came on deck.
Arizona knew that she wasn't meant to be involved; she was the partner not the doctor, but as she saw Callie's beautiful eyelashes flutter she felt her heart explode and she surged forward, helping Derek to take out her breathing tube.
"Cough, honey, that's right, just cough. I've got you." Arizona was leaning over Callie, her hand curled behind her neck. Callie's eyes fluttered and finally opened. Dazed, she stared into Arizona's tearful blue eyes and the second stretched.
Arizona could feel the warmth of Callie's neck on her hand, she saw a single teardrop fall from her and land on Callie's cheek. She felt the shudder run through Callie as she fought against the tube and heard the slick suction as it was pulled from her throat.
Callie's eyes were round with panic and they stared into Arizona's with a mute question.
The second ended and Derek briskly moved her away, "Arizona I need to check her ..."
"Somebody...get her family in here..." Arizona realised that she could barely speak and that she was shaking badly as adrenaline rampaged through her.
She watched as Derek bent over Callie for a minute.
"Don't try to talk just yet, ok?"
Arizona released a breath as after a short pause Callie nodded her head slowly. Her eyes flickered round the room and the panic was clear as she took in her surroundings.
She half-raised her hand off the bed but it flopped back down as the effort seemed to be too much for her.
"Can you tell me your name?" Derek started to perform the basic tests to ascertain if brain damage had taken place.
"Calliope Iphigenia Torres, Jesus Christ, Derek, what the hell happened to me...?" Her voice was weak and scratchy but unmistakeable and Arizona shoved her fist into her mouth to hold back her sobs of relief.
She started to move towards the bed when Carlos, Marguerite and Aria rushed into the room and up to the bed.
"Oh my God, Daddy, Mama...Aria?...please tell me what happened." Callie started to try and sit up and a chorus of yells from Arizona, Derek and Meredith forced her back down.
Her eyes continued to flicker about the room, seeking something, someone out.
"You're Derek Shepherd, head of Neurosurgery, that's the Chief over there and I'm in Seattle Grace Hospital." She took a deep breath, her voice a little stronger, "I've clearly had a pretty severe brain injury." A frown formed between her eyebrows and her eyes landed on Arizona's for a long second before going back to Derek's face.
"OK, you are all freaking me out. I really need to what happened to me and why the hell my husband isn't here."
A hush settled on the room and Arizona felt her world tip on its axis.
"Where the hell is George?"
TBC
