Because of Small Things
Chapter 9


I will not train some emotional idiot

I was so angry… I wasn't sure if it was at Hiei or myself. I think it was leaning more at myself. I don't blame Hiei for not wanting to train some girl who couldn't keep her anger or her cautiousness under hand. But it wasn't like I could control the beast lying inside of me at this current moment. It came out when it wanted to. I was still human, after all. I didn't have the mind of a demon, just yet. I still felt human…

I frowned as my feet dangled off the edge of the roof. I was staring out into the dark abyss called the horizon. I could hardly see where the sky met the mountains it was so dark. I really didn't care though. Just the feel of the night's air surrounding me felt amazing. To me, it awakened all my pores and I had slight goose bumps on the skin revealed (my calves and forearms basically). My fingertips were a bit pink from the cold, but I somehow liked the numb feeling coming from them. My feet, however, had socks on for once. They got too cold for a while there, to the point where it hurt almost so I was compelled to put socks on.

I sighed and stared at the drifting moon. It was fading away from the sky and sinking low into the horizon. I didn't want the moon to go away. I still liked looking at it, although it's been almost a week since I've been released from the hellhole. I was sad to say that I didn't miss anything from that place, even the inmates that would talk endlessly to me. I grumbled low in my aching throat and pouted. It's been three days since the first incident with Hiei and the day after had been the same result. The moment he charged, my demon self popped out, uninvited. I was so sick of it trying to protect me. Did it not see that it was just training?

I bit the inside of my lip and glared into the dark night, which was slowly becoming brighter as the sun moved higher. I could see a faint line of yellow begin to appear, the sky molding into a dark blue instead of an endless black. Hiei constantly taunted me, saying I wouldn't be able to live without this demon side. That's when I'd try to attack him, but it always ended with my face planted into the stadium. That's the part I hated the most.

Yesterday was slightly better. I had managed to keep my demon side slightly locked as Hiei charged at me. He was able to swing his sword, almost hitting me before my demon took complete control and stopped the blade and almost cracked it. Hiei was pissed at me yesterday. He almost throttled me. I didn't blame him, however. My demon side almost destroyed his sword with its mind. Kurama had explained to me, later that Hiei felt his sword shaking with the power of my demon side's mind trying to break it. I think Hiei would've seriously killed me if I broke his little sword.

The sun's first rays blinded me a little but my eyes adjusted fairly quick and I was able to watch my sunrise, again. I loved watching the sunrise. It made my skin tingle as the sun's rays warmed my chilled skin from the night. I always sat outside for the entire night. After my little twenty minute power nap a few days ago, I haven't been able to keep my eyes shut for more than five seconds. It's been hard and my mind's been on speed ever since. It's like being off for twenty minutes made it panic, like it wouldn't be able to live without thinking for more than five seconds now.

I wanted to rant to myself but after making myself talk three days ago, my throat's been constantly burning, especially when panting (which was always when I was training with the amazing Hiei). I scoffed at that thought and rolled my eyes. He thought he was all badass, but he's just a cleaner nail than me at the moment. I'll hammer him into the ground when I get full control and can shove him into a wall with my mind, like I did Kuwabara a while ago. I think that was my goal in life at this moment.

When the sun was showing half of its brilliance, I crawled back into my room and made my way to my bathroom to take a quick shower to clean up. I soaked for a while but realized I shouldn't be wasting valuable time and rushed out, drying off, and pulling my hair into its usual braid. I donned on some leggings that ended an inch from my knees and a long, white shirt (dress shirt, almost) that hung pretty low on my shoulders. It was very comfy though. I pulled on some ballerina type shoes (I think I heard someone on a show call them "flats") and walked out and downstairs. Kurama was up, like I guessed, and so was Hiei, in his usual windowsill. I casted him a hateful glare and smiled at Kurama. He smiled over at me and said, "Good morning, Etsuko!"

I smiled wider and slipped into the bar stool. I stared at Kurama as he worked on breakfast. I felt bad he was always cooking. I would help but I was absolutely horrible in a kitchen. I once boiled water and it dissolved into just the hard compound because I had it on high heat and completely forgot about it. I remember my mom banning from the kitchen one day because I somehow lit my sleeve on fire because I was cooking bacon for Mother's Day. I sighed and watched Kurama expertly flip eggs in a pan and was instantly envious. If I had done that they'd have splattered everywhere.

Kurama finished with breakfast relatively quickly and before I knew it, Yusuke was strolling down the stairs, yawning and rubbing at his eyes. He scampered to the table and filled it plate, eating in sleepy silence. Kuwabara stumbled down minutes later, his eyes half closed and plopped into a chair, filling his plate as well. I smiled and sat down, helping myself to some eggs, bacon and a slice of buttered toast. I watched Kurama start to clean up so I frowned and got up, pushing him away. My mother taught me that "whoever didn't cook cleaned". Kurama narrowed his eyes at me and I shoved him into a seat, surprisingly. I think he let me, honestly.

I wasn't that hungry anyways. I could wait to eat on my way to training. I began cleaning up the mess and I saw Kurama begin to get up out of my peripheral vision. I glared over at him and pointed toward him, pouting my lips a bit. He frowned, but sat. He smiled at me in thanks and I smiled back, finishing the dishes and cleaning up relatively quick. I cleaned up the table as well and just ate my half-ass breakfast on the way to the stadium. I wasn't very stoked to train today. I knew the same thing would happen again, but Yusuke was determined for me. I guess that's what kept me compliant.

I tossed my plate on the table and sighed, staring at Hiei with some wrath. I really didn't to hear him calling me ignorant and messed up. I wanted to do something right, but my demon side wasn't very compliant. It drove me insane. As I jumped up onto the platform (which I was doing pretty well), I felt a very different feeling. I don't know how to describe it. I stood a good distance from Hiei as he pulled his cloak off, putting his hand on his sword. I narrowed my eyes and was waiting for the familiar shift of energy in me. It never came.

Hiei didn't waste time with talking this time; he just charged at me. I breathed in and braced myself for the sudden change, but when it came even when Hiei went to strike at me, I dodged and my eyes widened. Hiei smirked and went to swing at me again and I dodged once more, my eyes turning into saucers. Where was my demon form? This was amazing. It was me doing this, not my demon. I began feeling slightly arrogant so I went with the flow and began dodging with more grace. Hiei didn't really seem he was going to actually harm me, so I just focused on memorizing his moves, slightly.

But then suddenly, Hiei changed it and the blade of his sword sliced my upper arm. I screamed slightly and gripped my arm, which was bleeding. I glared at him, my face turning a bright red. He smirked and I grew even more irritated. All I wanted to do was start to yell at him, in my voice. I didn't want to rant to the little pompous demon in my head. It wasn't that much fun. Hiei chuckled and sheathed his sword. "You have some potential…" he said in a monotone. I glared harder at him and he looked away from me, staring at Kurama.

"I think it's best to start to train her mind now, Hiei," Kurama said and I narrowed my eyes. I didn't want that freak in my head even though I knew he was always in it, poking around. He was the most extreme peeping Tom I've heard of. I smirked when he glared over at me and my shoulders shook. I had fun poking his buttons. He was like a little kid who couldn't get candy for a dollar.

"Shut up," Hiei hissed and I smirked, looking away and sucking my tongue against my teeth. He glared at me and I looked over at him, curious. He was really focusing on me. I felt a stinging in my head and my eyes twitched, so did my forearm. I stared down at it and glared at Hiei. I knew he was digging around in my head. He smirked and a wave of lightheadedness hit me and I stumbled back, falling hard on my butt. "If you're going to be as good as your father, you better start fighting back!"

I glared at him and tried to shove the force out. I had no idea what I was doing. I had no idea how to come across pushing someone else's mind out of my own. I was beginning to grow a headache in my left temple, focusing so hard. It was making me loose concentration, slightly. I felt a line of sweat race down my forehead and I wiped it away, narrowing my eyes more. Hiei's eyebrows twitched downward momentarily and I focused harder, my whole body shaking. I heard a cracking noise as the headache in my head dulled to a faint ringing noise. I ignored it.

Hiei blinked and the fight was done. My mind kept going though and for some reason, a crater appeared below me. I let out the breath I was holding and laid back in the crater, panting. My mind was exhausted. I felt so lightheaded. My entire body was tingling, like needles were poking me. My forearm was twitching madly and I didn't have enough will to reach over to try and stop it. I saw Hiei stare down into the crater, his eyes narrowed, and I glared up at him. I wanted to flip him off, but my body was too weak so I pictured myself flipping him off. He rolled his eyes and walked away. I glared before my body felt like it was rocking. I shook my head and peered up to see Yusuke staring at me with a huge grin on his face.

"Nice crater, Etsuko," he joked and jumped down, slipping his arm under my knees and under my upper back, pulling me up and jumping out of my crater. I looked at it and blinked. It wasn't small that was certain. It was about the size of an average, built in swimming pool but deep. I sighed and let my body sink into Yusuke as he carried me up and out of the stadium room. I was exhausted. If I could sleep, I'd be passed out in Yusuke's arms. I settled for staring off into space, my eyes blinking ever so slightly. Yusuke stared down at me and stated, "Try to sleep, Etsuko! I can tell by your eyes that you need it." I frowned and tilted my head to the side as he pushed the door open and carried me inside. He walked to the couch and laid me down. "Just so you know, Kuwabara and me are going back home. I think Kurama's going to be gone for a while at his mother's house. Hiei and you will be by yourself so try not to blow the house up, ok?" I nodded, not caring.

Hiei could only get me to blow this house up if he pissed me off. He's only made me irritated or mad, I think. I called that day getting me pissed off, but I think that was just angry. I let my head fall back onto the arm rest and a sigh flew from my lips. I wanted sleep. I wanted it so badly. My body even wanted sleep, so did my mind but my eyes were dancing around like nothing happened. I wanted to grumble; I wanted to fuss as I heard the door open and shut with Kuwabara's and Yusuke's voices drowning out. I looked over to see Kurama walking down the stairs as well. I smiled and waved at him and he waved back, smiling as well. He walked out and I sighed, looking at the black TV screen.

I was so not excited to be in this house alone…with Hiei. It was possibly the worse thing for me right now…

I wanted to dart to my room, but my aching legs refused to listen to my mind. I clenched my eyes shut and I could feel my blood pumping. I was so angry with myself. I had used up all my energy. That demon could pop in and kill me so easily. I'd be done for and I don't think Hiei would help me. I don't think he has any respect for me, once so ever. I didn't care, really but the fact that he wouldn't help me when I was getting murdered kind of hurt me. I wasn't even sure if he wouldn't help me and my anger was boiling at my assumptions.

Man, he was right… My emotions are all over the place, I thought to myself as I reached for the remote and turned on the TV, channel surfing until I found something of interest.