Damn, I felt bad for that cliffie.

As Lobaa pointed out I did give the guys and gals over at "Toro Nagashi" an extra chapter after a Hisana-based cliffie. It'd be kinda heartless not to do that for this one too.

I feel like a parent! Must not play favorites!

So new chapter for you as well.


"Hisana."

Renji's eyes widened. He had thought, he had a suspicion but to hear it, to hear her say her name--it was ten thousand times worse than he could have thought. All the little discrepancies that he had noticed, every little thing that seemed out of place, they all clicked together.

"I was thinking about it since you saved me. When Unohana told me about your memory I--" he stopped, obviously furious, "I--"

"You can't tell anyone."

"Can't--what do you mean I can't tell anyone?" he demanded, "we're talking about two people I really care about!"

"Two people whose lives I ruined!" Hisana cried.

Renji's eyes widened. Hisana sagged, feeling horribly light suddenly with the words having left her lips. Someone knew and selfishly she was glad she was not so alone anymore. But the bigger part of her, the bigger part of her was horrified. Someone knew. It hadn't been long enough, not by any stretch of imagination. She'd have to disappear again, she'd have to leave Kakyoku and her new relationship with her sister and everything, it would all be gone. The thought made her throat tighten and her eyes sting as she forced herself to meet Renji's eyes.

"I ruined their lives," she said, her lips curving in a bitter smile, "and you," the world wavered, "you put them back together again. I would have taken those arrows for you because you saved them from my mistakes. You made them--you made them smile again."

"Hisana--"

"Please don't tell them," she whispered, "I know I don't have any right to ask anything of you but please," she felt tears slip down her cheeks, "h-he's happy again and she's got a life and I don't want to hurt either of them more than I have too."

Renji stared at the crying girl in front of him. Though he did not want too he knew the truth in her words. Rukia had a life and Byakuya--though he hated to admit it--really did care about Yoshiko. He couldn't imagine telling them that Hisana was back. He knew they deserved to know, truly he did, but he knew that the two of them were fragile people, much more fragile than either would ever say. Even now he knew the effect Hisana's memory had on them. He couldn't even begin to imagine the effect she as a live person would have on them. She looked so different and she acted differently as well, Renji knew neither Rukia nor Byakuya knew.

Frankly he wasn't sure how he knew.

It just struck him as odd that someone would throw themselves in front of certain death for him. Then it occurred to him that she fainted seeing Rukia. Sure it could have been illness but why did it only happen when Rukia came in? But the biggest thing was that she yelled at Byakuya. Except in certain very special circumstances no-one yelled at Byakuya. Even Ichigo Kurosaki didn't yell at Byakuya Kuchiki for anything less than the end of the world. But this petite, new recruit who had just disobeyed a direct order had jumped to her feet and shouted at him. Once Unohana had told him about her memory the idea had occurred to him. Given that Renji was rather used to strange and impossible things happening in his life, he was willing to play the suspicion. He just hadn't expected to be right.

"Damn it," he swore.

If there was one thing Renji truly hated it was being caught in the middle of drama-filled situations, situations that inevitably had to do with the romances of the Kuchiki siblings. Sometimes he looked back on his crush on Rukia and wondered what the hell he was thinking. He may have harbored very unbrotherly feelings for her once but he imagined if he still did he'd be the one in the center of the drama which was definitely not a place he wanted to be.

"Alright, fine!" he burst out, "just stop crying damn it," he ordered.

"Huh?" Hisana's head flew up

"I said fine, I won't tell them who you are," he crossed his arms, "but only because I know it'd hurt them."

"Thank you, I--"

"Do not thank me," Renji's voice was harsher than Hisana had ever heard it, "you broke two people very close to my heart once. I'm protecting them,not you," he looked down at her, though she knew his gaze was a fraction of the hatred she deserved, "if you hurt either of them, I swear the pain you feel now is a fraction of what you'll feel."

Hisana nodded. She felt Renji glare for a moment longer before he walked out, slamming the door behind him.

"Renji! Renji there you are."

Renji turned around. Tonight was not his night. Behind him, running up to him with the silk of her kimono in her hands was none other than Rukia. She looked nothing short of breath taking, all lavender and snow colored silk with a wide pale pink obi spanning her waist. Her ebony hair was pulled back and ornaments glistened. She was even wearing makeup.

"You look like a doll," he commented.

"Shut up!" she snapped, "go put on something nice. I know you've got a cast off kimono from my brother lying around somewhere."

"Not that I don't love the silk but why?"

"Because my brother's announcing his engagement tonight and you've got to be my date."

"What?!" he glared, "take Ichigo."

"He's already coming and if my brother sees me with him he'll have a heart attack."

"That's not the only think that'll cause that," Renji muttered. Rukia arched an eyebrow, "fine! I'm going just hold on!"

Suddenly the door to Hisana's room flew open.

"Renji! I forgot to tell you--" she stopped abruptly looking at Rukia.

"You can tell him in a minuet, you--go change!" she ordered throwing out a hand. Renji slouched off, "sorry," she said to Hisana, "Renji's got to be my escort tonight."

"For what?"

"My brother's formally announcing his engagement," Rukia sighed looking down at her silk covered body, "formal means Elders."

Hisana winced. She remembered all too well the Elders and what they were like. Before every major event she used to go over a mental list in her head of anything they could possibly scold her about. Of course they always found something but she knew better than to give them any sort of fodder. Rukia seemed to have followed in that. Hisana couldn't see a hair out of place or a threat unraveled in the entire ensemble.

"That can't be fun," she offered.

"No," Rukia laughed, "its not," she smoothed an invisible wrinkle in the silk.

"Alright! Lets go celebrate the latest stupid decision your brother's made," Renji muttered as the two walked out.

"Look on the bright side," Rukia said, "the chances of you getting beaten up this time are slim."

"Shut up."


Unable to stay in her room Hisana went for a walk. Renji agreed not to tell Rukia and Byakuya, ironically, for the same reason she did not want to tell them. For some reason though, the thought of him being engaged to someone else made her insides twist. It was selfish and she had no claim to him of course but still, he was marrying someone else. He was marrying a noble. Hisana wrinkled her nose, marrying a noble seemed strange, especially for Byakuya.

"Well at least your secrets safe," Kakyoku spoke.

"That's something," Hisana agreed.

"Even if you forgot to tell him that people without Spiritual Pressure are attacking Shinigami."

"Ye--Son of a Bitch!" she stomped her foot, "I've got to make sure he knows before they send another squad out to scout," tugging her robe she set off in the direction of the Kuchiki Manor, "maybe I can get one of the guards to bring him out."

She knew the path to the Kuchiki Manor as well as she knew Rukongai. She trudged up the road that led to the spectacular estate. The Kuchiki Manor was near enough to Soul Society that if there was a disturbance or something its forces could easily be utilized. Much to her dismay there were no guards at the entrance to the surrounding gardens that night. Frowning she shifted the sash across her chest and walked forward tentatively.

It was stranger than anything else, being back in the gardens that had played such a central role in her life at the Kuchiki Manor. Very little, it seemed,had changed since she was there all those years ago. She had always loved the gardens. Nature was something that anyone could appreciate. Night time walks with Byakuya were something she had loved, even before he became her husband. She didn't want to go into the party but there were no guards coming to arrest her. Sighing in frustration she rounded a corner looking for someone. Who she found was not who she wanted.

It was Byakuya.

Hisana's eyes widened. He was standing there without his wife to be, without anyone. He was dressed in dark silk, formal wear that he wore very well despite the fact she knew he hated it. Around his neck was the pale scarf she had watched his grandfather present to him and the Kenseikan that she had always found privately ridiculous was in his hair. Senbonzakura was not at his waist. Hisana inwardly winced, she knew it was out of respect for the Konno family who produced no Shinigami but still, it was quite disrespectful. She would never have let Senbonzakura be left out of anything.

When she looked up again he was right in front of her.

Hisana jumped back with a gasp.

"What are you doing here?" he inquired.

"My deepest apologies, Captain Kuchiki, but i have a message for Lieutenant Abarai," she said twisting her fingers, "I wanted to give it to one of the guards but there weren't any so I was hoping that he had wandered outside or someone else had and I could tell them."

"I am the Captain," he said.

"Right," she flushed ducking her head, "I don't think the attack on Lieutenant Abarai was the first--or the last. The arrows, they were poisoned tipped which means that the people who were firing them needed to kill him before he used his Zanpakto. I don't think they had Spiritual Pressure, I think they wanted to kill Lieutenant Abarai because he was a Shinigami. They used a weapon they knew he couldn't fight against."

"What makes you think this?" he asked, "that night was confusing for all."

"My Zanpakto," she blurted out, "he's-he's prone to speaking in riddles but he hasn't lied to me yet," she bit her lip, "even if I'm wrong, I don't want anyone to get hurt if whoever's doing this is attacking Shinigami. One squad's already died so far," he raised an eyebrow, "I was there when they told Rukia," she explained.

"I see," he said, "i will inform the Squad Captains of your theories," he said, "they make some sense and I agree it is better to be safe than risk more deaths."

"Well thats all I wanted to--"

"Unohana informs you have been given medication for your attacks," he said.

"Yes," she said, "but she doesn't think that it should get in the way of my duty."

"No more than your temper," he said.

Hisana's eyes widened as she realized that though his voice was still deadpanned, he was teasing her. She felt herself smile after a shocked moment before she laughed, covering her lips with her hand to muffle the sound. Though he did not laugh with her, she saw the humor in his eyes.

"Lord Kuchiki?" someone called for him.

"I should return to the Division," she said quickly bowing to him, "oh," she turned around, "congratulations on your engagement."

"Thank you," he replied.

"I wonder," Kakyoku spoke softly, "what was he doing out there instead of inside the party celebrating his engagement to whats-her-face?"

Hisana simply ran faster, trying to block out the same question that was echoing in every beat of her racing heart.

Byakuya watched her run with an odd sense of something almost nostalgic. He knew the party guests were waiting for him but something made him linger in the gardens. Surrounded by the scent of blossoms and the cool breeze he felt far more comfortable than in the stuffy room filled with all those faceless nobles. But he had a duty, he had made a vow and he intended, like all the others, to keep it. Still it was difficult to turn away from the garden and head back inside.

He had spent his engagement party with Hisana intoxicated half with her and half with far too much sake. To this day he did not know what excuse his grandfather could have possibly given, just that he didn't care what the old man said. They had spent most of the night out in the garden, just the two of them, laughing about nothing and everything as they were prone to do. Outside the thinly veiled dissaproval could not reach them. Outside it could just be the two of them, outside they could be happy. He wanted to make her happy. He wanted to chase away the sadness he saw lingering in her eyes, the ache he knew resided in her heart.

Byakuya closed his eyes tightly. He had sworn he would not compare his late wife to the woman who would be his new one. He had sworn that he would do what was best for his Clan, for everyone no matter how much his heart howled at the betrayal. Hisana was dead and he would do no good by living for her memory, even if that was all he wanted to do. He did love Yoshiko, truly he did, but much like his late wife, he could not love her the way she deserved. His heart was already broken and the pieces were not to be given away. So he trudged on, as best he could. Yoshiko understood, he saw it in the way her smile would sometimes slip and her hands would tighten on his. He knew that she wished to be able to heal him. The thought made him smile bitterly. He had wished to heal Hisana, never really understanding before just how hard that was.

With a final glance at the gardents he walked back into the party.

"Renji," Rukia elbowed her friend. Renji looked down at her, 'why are you looking at my brother like that?"

"Like what?" he demanded.

"Like he's about to make the biggest mistake of his life."

Renji chuckled at that, the promise he had made sticking in his throat. Rukia shot him a quizzical look but Renji just continued to laugh, unsure of who was the bigger fool.


Okay I found a song that's pretty much perfect for this story. Its called "If Only" and its off the Little Mermaid soundtrack (the musical, not the movie). My little cousins were singing it the other day and I realize it was pretty perfect for this. I suggest you youtube it.