Disclaimer: Haha! Me, own twilight? Pish orf! (To quote Trainspotting)....
Okay, so this one's unbeta'd due to an unfortunate turn of events... and my late posting schedule. But I LOVE MOUSE!
I also love Have I got News For You.
Enjoy!
Jasper:
Bella was sat opposite me, watching me eat with concern etched all over her face.
"You look pretty sore," She murmured, "Are you sure you don't want to see a doctor? It's not a pretty sight..." She trailed off, looking more than a little guilty
"I'm sure it's just bruising," I shrugged as I took another bite of the pasta she had set in front of me, "I don't think there's anything bad about it." Then, as if to prove me completely wrong, I leaned forward and gasped as a horrific shooting pain punched through my chest. I could have screamed, and from the look on Bella's face, she knew I was in serious discomfort.
"Really, Jasper?"
"Yeah, maybe I'm lying." I managed to gasp out, my lips burning at the sensation of the air leaving my lungs both swiftly and painfully. "Okay, I really am lying," I ran my hand across my ribs and felt my jacket buzz against the back of the chair for the fiftieth time in the past half an hour. "Jesus, they really won't quit, will they?"
"I doubt it," She shrugged, starting to clear plates away with her free hand as she kept her eyes on me, "Do you want to talk about it yet?"
It had only been about two hours and I was still seething. Bella had told me she didn't want to hear about it until I had calmed down, because if I was mad, I would be irrational, and she didn't like that, said it ruined the balance of things, biased the person, stopped them from seeing both sides of it, and I couldn't disagree with her.
"No, I'm still seriously pissed."
"Pissed?" A distinctly feminine voice echoed through the hallway and both Bella and I looked up to see Rosalie standing in the doorway, grinning so widely I thought her face was about to split in two as she stood there, holding up her mobile phone. "Hm," She laughed and sat down opposite me in the seat that Bella had been occupying only moments before.
"Where were you, Rosalie?" Bella asked as she turned around and leaned against the kitchen counter, watching her play with her phone almost too much. "I thought you'd gone on an absolute rampage..." For a second, Bella looked petrified, "They're still alive, aren't they?"
"Like you'd be complaining if they weren't," Rose flicked her bright, shiny blonde hair over her shoulder and sent me a knowing look. I smirked back and she grinned at me. "Anyway, I just went to cool off..." She waved her phone around again and shrugged.
"Hmm," Bella conceded, coming around to gently brush her hands over my shoulders. "Well, where did you go?"
"Ah, well..." She looked at the pair of us and smirked at me specifically, "Well, you know how you were telling me about Edward? How he goes a-fucking to release his pent-up rage?" We nodded simultaneously and she smirked again, "Well... I may, or may not have..." She looked at the pair of us and I was sure Bella's mouth had dropped open.
"Rose, you didn't?" Bells looked genuinely horrified, her lips almost paling along with her face as she clearly imagined Rosalie doing the worst. "Please, tell me you didn't."
"Well... he definitely wanted me to." She laughed and twiddled with her phone again.
"Oh, for fucks' sake," I managed to blurt, utterly bored of the blatant phone fondling, "What've you got?" Bella let out a light laugh and looked over at me.
"Rule number one, Jasper," She laughed, "Never, ever rise to Rose's bait. She'll give in eventually. Now she gets the chance to gloat. Show us then, you dangerous harlot." She winked and let out that same light laugh as before, Rosalie finally passing over the handset and making Bella laugh out loud as she scrolled through the pictures she held in her hand.
"You like?"
"Oh, my god! Rosie! What the hell did you... did you just leave him like this? Or what?"
"What did she do?" I was suddenly really interested, because Bella wasn't usually as passionate as this. She looked a little bit mad, as well, which could only mean bad things for Edward.
"Look!" Rosalie passed the phone over to me and started to giggle as I took one look at the phone and almost dropped with a reaction that was a mixture of horror and disgust... and a little lust.
Edward was tied up in a bathroom, his silk tie around his wrists, wrapped around the LED lights above the mirror as he opened what could only be described as lust-filled eyes, a hard-on that looked like he had a baguette stuffed down his pants.
He looked absolutely ridiculous. It was a public bathroom. I couldn't help but look up at Bella and Rosalie and let out the loudest laugh I had in a long time.
"He'll kill you!" I managed to splutter, "Honestly, he will!" though the sentiment was rather blunted by the huge guffaws that followed the words.
"Oh screw it!" Now Rosalie was shaking her head, trying to dispel the laughter that was still bubbling from her lips, "I'm posting these online!" She was quickly fumbling with her phone, but I was watching Bella, who had a terrifying, calculating look on her face.
"No! Rose, wait!" The blonde's fingers froze over the keypad of her BlackBerry, and she looked up at Bella, eyes wide.
"Why? I thought-"
But Bella simply smirked, shaking her head lightly; a wide smile flitting across her face as she looked up at Rosalie, then glanced at me.
"Oh, Rosalie. Rosie, Rosie, Rosie..." She smirked again, holding her hands out to Rosalie as she reluctantly relinquished the phone to Bella's waiting hands. "This," She said softly, waving the phone around in the air, "Is what we like to call..." Another pause, "An Excellent opportunity for blackmail."
Let it be known, I was absolutely terrified about the grin on her face.
"Blackmail?" Rosalie's grin matched Bella's, and they both turned to me. "Oh, Jasper," I looked up at them, terror coursing through be because they were clearly plotting something extremely devious, and the smirk on Bella's face was attractive, dangerous and fucking scary.
I hoped I never got on her bad side.
"I'm keeping these hidden," Rosalie said, suddenly, looking the pair of us up and down, "Jasper, if the need should arise, I'm definitely passing these on to you." And, with a short nod, she left Bella and I in the kitchen, staring at each other without anything to say.
"He's an asshole," I started suddenly as Bella collapsed into the chair she had been sitting in before. "He's arrogant, has no respect for anybody..." She looked up at me, "He hurt you, and he hurt me, and damnit! I never touched Alice, told her I was gay so she wouldn't keep trying it on with me!"
"Okay, Jasper." She nodded, "You've quit, now, what're you going to do?"
I stopped and considered, because in the heat of the moment, I knew I had lost my head, and definitely hadn't thought this through before quitting.
"Er..." I bit my bottom lip and looked over at Bella, feeling the heat rise in my face as I readied myself to say what I counted as something stupid, but something ridiculously intelligent at the same time. "You said you were looking for techies? I'm barely qualified, but if you give me a week, I'm pretty sure I could at least take on stage management duties?"
"We don't need a stage manager, Jasper," She was biting her lip and looking down at the floor, "We need at least one new sound guy," She stopped and glanced up at me, "Can you work a board?"
"I work in the music business," I managed, the smile on my face widening as I realised that this could be an absolutely wonderful coincidence. "And I spend a helluva lot of time with the techs. I think I've picked up a thing or two."
There was a pause, and then she looked up and glanced at me, smiled, and settled her head on her hands.
"I'll have to interview you, or actually, Rose can do that." She paused, "I'll need a CV and you'll need to help tech a show so we know how you respond to everyone else," She ran a hand through her hair and stretched up, "We're a team, at La Bella Rosa, and we do switch roles – everyone does, so you'll be expected to front of house, and stuff," She stopped, looking at me as though I already had the job.
"Anything else?"
"Only one other condition." She stopped, smirking brightly, "Part of your first paycheck goes to a date with me?"
"Oh," I stopped, as though it was a hardship, "I don't know..."
"I probably should let you know that I put out from day one," She giggled, and I looked her up and down.
"I'm in. When's the interview?"
A/N: Enjoy?
Cricketward will be updated soon. I promise.
