The Wicked Waxworks, Chapter 2
Grunkle Stan told the Baudelaires, "Your cousins are comin' in on the Speedy Beaver bus in an hour. I want you to greet 'em and help 'em get settled in."
Violet said, "We'd be glad to, but don't you want to meet them yourself?"
"I'm gonna be busy. The Mystery Shack doesn't make dough by itself, ya know."
"Skooge," said Sunny, which meant, "I dislike how you put making money over familial affection."
The Baudelaires walked out to the bus stop and waited.
"I hope they'll be friendly, like Duncan and Isadora," said Klaus.
"I wonder how those two are doing," said Violet. "Last we knew, they were still in Olaf's evil clutches."
"Too bad we didn't figure out in time that they were in the Red Herring instead of the box of Very Fancy Doilies at the auction," said Klaus.
"Hoodin," said Sunny, which meant, "Maybe they managed to escape by now."
"I hope so," said Violet with a sigh.
The Speedy Beaver pulled in and two children about Klaus' age got out. Both had shaggy brown hair, but the girl's hair was down to her waist.
"Yay, we're here!" said the girl.
"Is this the home of Stanford Pines?" asked the boy. "We're staying with him for the summer, but this looks more like a tourist trap."
"It's both his home and a tourist trap," said Klaus. "Welcome to the Mystery Shack."
"Look at all the cool grass. I'm going to roll in it," said the girl, and she promptly did.
"I'm Violet Baudelaire, this is my brother Klaus, and my little sister Sunny."
"Meecha!" said Sunny with a toothy smile.
"I'm Dipper Pines, and this is my sister Mabel. She tends to look on the bright side of things. I'm the serious one."
"We're your second cousins," said Violet.
Mabel jumped up and threw her bright sweater-clad arms around them one after another. "Hiya cousins! This is going to be so much fun! Two kids our own age to play with, and a baby cutie."
"Goosh!" said Sunny in reaction to the tight hug.
"Are you staying here for the summer, too?" asked Dipper.
"Longer," said Klaus. "A little less than four years. Mr. Pines is our guardian."
"Longer only if we're a lot luckier than we've been in the last six places we stayed," said Violet.
"What? What happened in all those places?" asked Mabel.
"A whole series of unfortunate events," said Klaus. "A terrible villain is after us, named Count Olaf. You'll have to watch out for him, too."
"We're not afraid!" said Mabel. "He'd better not show his face around here."
"He already has. He's a master of disguise, but we can always spot him," said Violet.
"We'll spot him for sure," said Mabel. "And clobber him!"
"Sikes!" said Sunny, which meant, "He's an extremely dangerous criminal."
"Sounds like an interesting case to investigate," said Dipper. "I like detective stories, but I've never had one in real life."
"You like to read? So do I," said Klaus.
"Do you like the Sibling Brothers?" asked Dipper. "I'm reading The Case of the Caper-Case Caper now."
"My favorite mystery is Gaston Leroux. Le Mystere de la Chambre Jaune," said Klaus.
"Oh yeah, that's... a good one," said Dipper uncertainly.
"Dipper, don't pretend to be smarter than you are," said Mabel. "You have no idea what he just said in Spanish."
"Klaus, don't show off. Please forgive my brother, Dipper," said Violet.
"It's all right," said Dipper, giving her a charming smile and getting a small smile in return.
"Vmoose," said Sunny, which meant, "It's time to show them their rooms."
As they headed back to the house, they passed a pine tree. Someone jumped out from behind it, wearing a green monster mask. "Boo!"
Mabel yelled, "It's Count Olaf!" She charged, going for a head-butt.
"Not!" Sunny cried.
"Stop Mabel, that's Stan!" said Violet.
Mabel barely skidded to a stop in time.
Stan removed the mask and laughed, slapping his knee. He laughed so hard he started to cough, and he had to pound his chest to stop. "Hah! It was worth it for the look on your faces."
"Hi, Great-Uncle Stan," said Mabel.
"Call me Grunkle Stan, kids," said Stan. "Short for Great-Uncle, ya know."
"I was wondering when we'd meet you," said Dipper.
"I pretended I was too busy and sent these guys, just so I could pull off that boo," said Stan with a chuckle, leading them all inside, through the gift shop.
Mabel reached for a large eyeball. "Ooh!"
Stan warded her off with his eight-ball-headed cane. "No touching the merchandise."
He hustled them all through the door marked "Employees Only" and down a hall toward the back of the house. "Your room's down here, kids, past the sealed-off wax museum room."
"Woah, a wax museum? I've gotta see this!" said Mabel.
"I sealed it off," said Stan. "One of my best wax figures, the Abraham Lincoln, got melted and I don't have the heart to show them anymore."
"Don't worry, Grunkle Stan. I'll make you a new wax figure from the old wax!" said Mabel.
"You really think you can make one of those puppies?" asked Stan.
"Grunkle Stan, I'm an arts and crafts master. Why do you think I always have this glue gun stuck to my arm? " asked Mabel. She lifted her arm, showing a glue gun stuck to her sweater.
"How did she do that?" Violet whispered to Dipper. "I didn't notice that on her until just now."
"She's kind of unpredictable that way," Dipper whispered back.
"I like your gumption, kid!" said Stan.
"I don't know what that word means, but thank you!" said Mabel.
"Soos!" Stan called, "We're opening up the wax figure room again. Mabel's gonna make me a new man!"
"Or maybe a part fairy princess, and part horse fairy princess!" said Mabel.
Soos came up, "If you don't mind, I think Mr. Pines should stay a man."
