"Are you kidding me?" Lincoln demanded groggily as the alarms went off. He groped blindly for his alarm clock, refusing to lift his face from the pillow. His reluctance only increased further when he saw the time displayed: 3:20 AM. "I'M GONNA KILL SOMEONE!"
Skye had already rolled out of bed and was running out the door, the rest of the team ahead or right behind her. With a groan, Lincoln hauled himself up as well. Didn't whoever was invading the base know that he needed at least eight hours to recharge?
As they all raced down to the source of the alarm, Skye looked around curiously. "Anyone see Joey and Hunter?"
"They were on patrol, so they probably got to the threat first," Bobbi nodded tersely, falling into step beside her. She'd strapped her batons to her back, ready to strike if needed. "And knowing Hunter, he's probably already engaged with the threat, the idiot."
True to her word, Hunter was already fighting the unknown assailant as they reached the front doors, trading blow after blow but losing more by the minute. Joey was over on the side, quavering behind a large wooden crate. "Goddammit, remind me that we need to get Joey into training," Mack groaned as he tossed Joey a four-by-four.
The intruder let out a loud cry as they struck Hunter in the shoulder, sending him to the ground. Bobbi, enraged, threw herself into the fray, whirling her batons with blinding speed. The two of them began to fight, a deadly, graceful dance that had the entire group watching in awe. To her detriment, Bobbi was also knocked out, and Lincoln squared his shoulders. "I'm going in."
"Lincoln, don't -" But he'd already charged, and Skye let out a groan as she chased after him. FitzSimmons arrived shortly after that, covered in sludge from some unknown experiment gone wrong. Simmons took one look at the unconscious Hunter and Bobbi and sighed.
"I'll just go get the medical cart," she said, turning on her heel and dashing back towards the lab. Fitz grabbed an ICER from his belt and leveled it at the attacker, intending to fire a few rounds.
"Fitz, no, your aim's terrible -!" Mack began to shout, but it was too late: both Skye and Lincoln hit the ground, temporarily paralyzed. The assailant turned to Mack, prepared to fight, and Mack just sighed, wielding a large, metal pipe like a lightsaber. In turn, the figure picked up Bobbi's batons, giving them an experimental whirl before gesturing in a 'come hither' motion. They launched into battle, the metal clanging with frightening loudness.
May and Coulson were the last ones to run in, their guns drawn. Coulson winced as Mack was sent to the ground with a thwack of Bobbi's baton, the figure standing up straight and brushing themselves off. Coulson and May advanced slowly, their guns held aloft. As they got closer, they let out a long-suffering groan, holstering their weapons.
"She's never going to forgive me for this, is she?" Coulson muttered to May, who shook her head.
"Melinda," the figure said cordially. "Rather impressive attempt, I'd say, but you really do need to put up better security defenses. I thought I taught you better than this." She turned to Coulson, who was hanging his head in shame. "Philip. I always thought you were the one who was eating my joong. No wonder you've got such a beer belly."
May sighed. "Hi, Mom."
Bobbi was the first one to awake in the medical wing, her sight sharpening back into focus as she looked around the room. Hunter, Mack, Skye and Lincoln were all in similar states as she was, each sporting their own unique blow to the head. As she struggled to sit up, her head spun, and she collapsed back onto the bed, groaning.
"Figured you'd be the first one up," Simmons chirped, hurrying over to her with an ice pack and some bandages. "And the first one to try and start moving," she muttered under her breath as she took a quick scan of Bobbi's vitals.
"Wha' happened?" Bobbi groaned, wincing as she spoke. "Di' we...did we get the intruder?"
"Oh, yes," Simmons let out a tinkling laugh that made Bobbi fuzzy. "Quite a riot, really. It seems Mrs. May has the habit of dropping in on family unannounced. Coulson's still laughing at the fact that Fitz tried to ICER her." The name rang clearly in Bobbi's head, and she muttered,
"Mrs. May?"
"Yes, it seems May's mother is here for the New Year celebrations," Simmons explained as lifted the bandage on Bobbi's head to check on the wound. Across the room, Skye began to groan, trying to sit up.
"How much did I have to drink last night...?"
"Be with you right in a minute, Skye," Simmons called to her friend before turning back to Bobbi. "As I was saying, Mrs. May is here for the New Year. She says she didn't intend to take out Hunter, but his accent threw her for a loop. She accused May of 'you hadn't told me you adopted an Englishman!'. Well," she concluded as she checked Bobbi over one more time. "You, Ms. Morse, will live. Some pain meds and you'll be good to go." She bent down to quickly kiss Bobbi on the cheek before hurrying over to Skye and the recently-awoken Lincoln.
"I wasn't drinkin' with Lincoln 'gain, was I?" Skye slurred confusedly as she tried to open her eyes once more. "Everythin' hurts, Jem." Simmons tsked as she checked her friend over, switching to check Lincoln for the same.
"Yes, well, being ICERd by Fitz will do that to you, I suppose," she murmured, going through a quick checklist before clapping her hands. Skye and Lincoln winced. "I'm sure Mrs. May will be very happy to hear that she didn't incapacitate her own granddaughter."
"What." Skye hissed, then clutched her side. "What d'you mean, May's mom is here?" Simmons nodded, and Skye fell back onto the bed with a moan. "Great. May's mom is here and now I've got to figure out how to be the perfect granddaughter. I haven't even figured out how to be a perfect daughter, for God's sake. How am I supposed to be a granddaughter?"
"You're going to be fine," Lincoln reassured her. "She's your adoptive grandmother; she'll love you unconditionally. That's what a family's supposed to do." He gulped. "I have to be the one that's skipping past 'meet the parents' and going straight to 'meet the grandparents'. That's like skipping the Go square and going straight to income taxes."
"Hey, she has to love you," Skye encouraged weakly. "After all, I love you. Don't grandparents have to agree with everything their grandchildren think?" Lincoln reached out a hand, and Skye reached for it, squeezing his. "And if not, May still loves you. In a non-romantic way. Plus, I can tell you on one hand the number of times Mrs. May has met one of the agents and hated him. You'd be surprised."
"Did I go drinking with Bob again?" Hunter moaned loudly from the other end of the room. Bobbi shot him a glare that immediately had her rubbing her head in pain.
"You two are free to go, I'd just recommend a few hours of sleep," Simmons advised before making a little 'shoo' motion. Lincoln and Skye got up, their hands still entwined as they meandered down the hallway. She smiled to herself. Skye would learn her package had come in later. Although what she needed a '#1 Shipper' shirt for, she didn't know...perhaps it was a last-ditch attempt to get Coulson and May together.
Hell, maybe she'd wear it...she was the number-one Static Quake shipper, after all.
"For the last time, Melinda, I said I was sorry," Lian hmphed as Coulson brought in a tea tray. "Although, in my defense, I never got to explain who I was before your Britishman attacked me. And after I've brought red envelopes, too."
May perked up at the mention of money. "Red envelopes?"
"Yes, Melinda, red envelopes," Lian rolled her eyes as Coulson set about pouring the tea. "I have one for you, since you're not married. But you'd better," she warned threateningly, wagging a thumb at May. "I want grandchildren." Coulson and May exchanged glances.
"Well," May said, shifting uncomfortably. She knew there'd been a reason she hadn't gotten married. Or had kids. "I sort of adopted one..." Lian snapped up straight, nearly choking on her tea.
"You adopted?" she asked in surprise. "With this job? How'd you do that?"
"She would've been here to say hi," Coulson explained, "but she was unfortunately involved in this morning's...altercation." Lian let out a huff, putting her tea down and getting to her feet.
"Well, where is she?" she demanded, and May fought to contain a sigh. "I want to meet the girl who's softened my daughter's heart!"
"Mrs. May," Bobbi half-deadpanned as she limped into the room, an ice pack held to her head. "Good to finally meet you. May talks about you a lot. Usually when she's muttering under her breath." Lian shot a look at May, who facepalmed, making a mental note to yell at Bobbi. Bobbi collapsed onto the couch, her eyes fluttering shut. "Ugh, I never want to deal with morning intruders again."
"Amen to that," Hunter agreed loudly, following beside her. "Where's my man Fitz? Need to find him so we can go get a beer or two."
"Jemma says no drinkin' 'till your wound's healed," Fitz tutted as he entered the room with a plate of refreshments. He set it onto the table, tossing Hunter a bottled water. "Sorry we don't have more," he said apologetically. "Shoulda told us you were coming."
"I think that's what we're all thinking right now," Mack groaned as he slumped in, one eye swelled shut. "Simmons couldn't do anything for it," he lamented as he plopped down beside Coulson. "Said I'd just have to wait a week."
"Well, at least you don't have a bruised rib," Lincoln muttered. "Apparently, getting shot with an ICER tends to do that to you, believe it or not." May turned to him, about to ask where Skye was when she heard frantic whisperings from the hallway.
"What if I mess up? She'll hate me forever!"
"Skye, she won't hate you. What's the worst you could do? Tell me."
"I...I dunno." There was the sound of sneakers squeaking against the floor. "Say something completely stupid and uncultured that offends her? You know how bad my culture knowledge is, Jem. It's freakin' nonexistent."
"Skye, no one's expecting you to go out there and start spouting Mandarin. You grew up in a series of foster homes that I'm sure were anything but Chinese. We're not going to judge you for that. We're your friends. All you have to do is be yourself, and you'll be perfectly fine, I promise."
"I know." Silence. "I jus'...I jus' want her to like me, is all. None of the grandparents ever really liked me."
At that, May stood up, excusing herself. She found Skye and Simmons in the hallway, the former with insecurities written all over her face as Simmons tried to comfort her. "I'll take it from here, Simmons," she promised, putting a hand on Simmons' shoulder. The other woman nodded, giving Skye a look before hurrying off. "Skye," she said, tipping her surrogate daughter's chin up. "Look at me."
Skye blinked.
"My mother is a retired CIA agent," May began. "I can promise you that there is nothing she hasn't seen before. You could screw up on any number of levels and she wouldn't care, alright? I know she loves you, and she hasn't even met you yet."
"How d'you know that?"
"Because you make me happy." May's reply was sincere. "For my entire life, all my mother's wanted is for me to be happy. It's worried her that I haven't found something worth living for all these years; she just hasn't shown it. You being that thing is the best you could do."
"Even if I don't know anything about Chinese culture?" Skye whispered.
"She'll probably take it upon herself to teach you, to be honest," May shook her head. "Now come on. She's dying to meet you."
"Mom, this is my daughter, Skye," May announced as she came in with Skye, a hand on the small of her back. "We...we originally picked up her when she was trying to hack SHIELD, but since then she's been integrated into the team." Skye held out hand shyly for Lian to shake, biting her lip.
Lian shook it grandly. "Good to meet you, Skye. I hope you've been keeping my daughter at her wit's end. She needs someone that keeps her on her toes, and since she's not going to have a husband to do that..."
Skye giggled as May turned a furious red, some of her shyness forgotten. "It's good to meet you, Mrs. May."
"Oh, please," Lian scoffed. "Call me Lian. And that goes for the rest of you," she said, pointing to the agents. "I assume she's adopted the rest of you in some sort of capacity or another." She sat down once more, patting the empty spot next to her. "Come, Skye. You can ask me anything you'd like to know about your mother."
"Skye makes better joong than you do," Coulson blurted out, and all of the color drained out of Lian's face. Skye wanted nothing more than to sink into the couch, certain her adoptive father had just ruined any sort of relationship she might've formed with her adoptive grandmother.
"Well, Philip, of course she has," Lian scoffed. "Talent manifests throughout generations." Skye slumped back into the couch, relieved. May gave her an 'I-told-you-so' smile, hiding it behind a cup of tea. "I'm withholding your red envelope for that comment." Coulson's face turned to one of panic, and Skye fought to hold back her laughter.
Lian grabbed her bag from the ground, digging out four envelopes from her bag and handing them to Skye, beaming when Skye took them with two hands. "Two for you, and I figured you were deserving of Philip's, as well." Across the room, Coulson pouted. The rest of the envelopes were handed out in pairs, the rest of them following Skye's example and taking them with two hands.
"Now, Skye, honey," Lian said, easing back onto the couch. "Do you have a boyfriend?" May let out a loud squawk while Skye blushed.
"Mom!"
"No, it's alright, May," Skye said, grinning at Lincoln. "I do," she said to Lian. "That's Lincoln, the one sitting over there with an ice pack to his ribs." Lian followed her gaze, narrowing her eyes dramatically at Lincoln. He gulped, painstakingly standing and walking over to the two of them, holding his hand out to shake.
"I promise I'm not going to hurt her," he said nervously as Lian shook his hand, looking him over scrutinizingly. "Skye means the world to me. I'd sooner die than hurt her."
Lian looked surprised, but continued with her threat anyways. "Good. You hurt her, you will have me and my daughter to answer to."
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