In Chapter 8, Leena departed Estonia and made it by train to Moscow and to the St. Joseph's Orphanage where she successfully tricked the orphanage's Director into believing she was abandoned by her "mother"...

Sure enough over the next four or five weeks after my arrival at St. Joseph's the orphanage made a hell of an effort to locate my imaginary "mother". The authorities in Estonia were contacted and the staff continued to reassure me that they would "find her". Christmas and the New Year had passed. It was now 2009. I received a doll for Christmas from the orphanage, of course the only toys I wanted to play with were of a more "adult" nature! The orphanage was a boring and dreary place. As annoying as the children could be at times, like in the orphanage I am at now, they were a constant reminder of how I craved a child of my own. A child to cherish and nurture and love and to hold and a good man to go along with that child! That family of my own - only God knew if I would ever have it! At the orphanage, I kept to myself mostly and rarely spoke to the children or to the staff. We would awake at 7 in the morning, attend classes, eat, play, eat some more, play some more...it was the same thing day in and day out. In the mornings I had to sneak into the bathroom stalls with my little mirror to go about the never-ending task of applying my make-up and powder. When I took my baths I ALWAYS made sure the door was locked so nobody would know about the gauze that I had to wear around my chest. The gauze that hid my A-cups from sight. It was alot of effort to keep up the "Esther" persona. Every day it seemed a small number of potential "parents" would visit St. Joseph's. Some were from Russia but many were from America and Canada. Sometimes they would return and leave with a child that they had choosen earlier. This made me sad. To see a child leave hand in hand with a new parent made me feel desperate.

When would it be MY turn? When would I get MY shot? I began curling my hair and wearing the cutest outfits I owned, all in an effort to impress any adult who walked through the door. There were well over a hundred children in this orphanage though and so far I had no luck in even so much as speaking to a potential "family". Almost every day I managed to call Syrah back in Estonia to let her know what was going on. She had a new boyfriend apparentely and was doing fine. She was worried sick about my mental well-being with me sitting in an orphanage and even begged with me to leave and come back to her home - after all, I still had the money she gave me. Needless to say, that wasn't happening.

One day my luck changed. I remember the date. January the 25th. It was a sunny yet blisterly cold Russian winter's day. There was a large playroom in the front of the orphanage where the children would congregate and play their little games. Children ran around gleefully unaware that I was old enough to be their mother! I would never become pregnant though, daddy was too rough with me when we made love, I never even had a period in my 32 years. I was sterile and barren. I was hoping any potential family would have a child, preferably a girl for me to play the "mommy" to. I remember sitting in the warmth of the sun rays as they cast their brilliance through one of the large windows in the playroom. The room was filled with shouts and laughter as I sat quietly on a large sofa by myself. A ball rolled over to my feet. A blonde child of about six years ago looked at me and smiled. I picked up the red ball and tossed it back to her. I was reading my Bible, neither myself nor my sister are religious people but it was something to do, inside were not only of course the photos of my so-called "victims" but of the portrait of my sister and I. I pulled this photo out and stared at it. I longed to see Syrah again, every day felt like an eternity without her. Like the Saarne Institute, this orphanage was truly a prison of sorts. I could not just simply leave and rejoin Syrah. No, I had to bide my time and today was the day when luck would finally smile upon me! From the playroom and where I was sitting you could see the entrance to the orphanage from the side, the Reception Room as the staff called it.

I heard the doorbell ring over the constant and unceasing noise of the dozens of children who filled this room. Pretty young Olishka was always the one to answer the door. She smiled as she greeted a couple as they entered inside from the icy howl of the Moscow air. They stomped the freshly falled snow from off of their shoes as they shook hands with the ever-pleasant Olishka (which is Russian for Olga, may I add). They both looked to be in their early 30's. They were certainly younger than most of the people who came to pick out a child, it was as if many of these "parents" were picking out an animal from a pet store it seemed. It was kind of repulsive in a way but I had no choice but to go along with this game. The man was well-built. He was about 5 foot 9 and was muscular in stature. He had a well-rounded jaw and a nice rear end in my opinion! He had auburn hair and brown eyes and was dressed in a blue jacket and a t-shirt and blue jeans. Almost seemed like he was out to see a ball game rather than visit an orphanage! He was sexy and immedietely caught my attention. I closed my Bible and watched them. The woman was about 5 foot 7, very thin, dressed in a similar fashion as her husband, or with whom I assumed was her husband, but was wearing a white wool overcoat, not too much different than the ones I owned. She had dirty blonde hair with darm highlights, a wide, beautiful smile and deep green eyes. Her body was quite curvacious and I found her equally attractive.

I watched as they spoke to Olishka and tried to read their lips but to no avail. They looked like they were from America. They held hands as the conversation played out for several minutes. Olishka extended her hand and guided them into the playroom as the couple cheerfully gazed in joy at all of the children, both girls and boys, playing with such happiness and innocence. Surely they wanted one of these little ones for themselves. I never really bothered to speak to any of the parents who visited the orphanage mainly because they just didn't interest me. Either I found them to be physically unattractive or their personalities to be unfit as to what I was looking for in a "daddy" or a "mommy". Out of all those many people though, and there were many who visited, this young and attractive couple seemed quite different to me.

I stared at them, my pretty black hair curled up. I was wearing a brown dress with white frills along the sleeves with white tights and black shoes as usual. I looked like something out of the 1800's. I received many stares from visitors because of my fashion choice. I hated these dresses but they screamed of innocence and that is one of the reasons why I wore them as oppossed to "modern" clothing. This couple was no more than 12 feet or so away from me. In a moment of genius, I placed the Bible down on the sofa and stood up. I then pretended to trip and threw myself hair to the scuffed wooden floor. This immedietely attracted the attention of the woman. "Oh gosh, are you okay?" she asked in English, kneeling down beside me as I righted myself. She seemed taken aback by the fact that she ASSUMED I didn't speak English and wouldn't understand her words, after all she was in Moscow. "Yes ma'am, I am fine, thank you", I chirped in my sweetest possible voice. "OH! You speak English little girl?" she asked smiling at me. I nodded. "I speak it perfectly. My name is Esther Ivanova and I'm nine years old." I said smiling.

"Let me help you up Esther" the woman offered and took me by my little hand, gently lifting me off of the floor. "My name is Veronica Sullivan and this is my husband Paul" she said excited as if she were amazed to find an English speaking child in a Russian orphanage. I shook his hand a bowed my knees. "It is nice to meet you sir" I told him with a huge grin. "Hello Esther" he said gently. "Isn't this young lady so polite?" he told Veronica. "What a lovely dress" Veronica added, looking at it with an admiring smile. "People think I'm old fashioned for dressing like this but I only wear these kind of dresses. I feel pretty like this" I explained. She nodded and looked at her husband, they both laughed in joy. I don't need to say it again that I HATE these cotton disasters! This couple was obviously from America but I had to ask the question. "Where are you two from?" I asked innocently. Veronica's eyes were shining with joys. "We're from the State of Maine, in the northern United States" she said. I sat back down on the sofa as they stood in front of me. "Are you married?" I asked. "Yes" said Paul. "And we have a 16 year old daughter named Rebecca" he added. I smiled ever so sweetly knowing that I had only one chance to make a great first impression. It wasn't often that people like this would visit!

"How did such a darling like you end up here?" Veronice asked gently. She took a seat next to me while Paul remained standing. I began acting immedietely and looked sadly into the distance with a look of longing on my face. "Right before Christmastime, my mommy from Estonia took me here to Moscow and abandoned me" I said in a sad tone. I looked over to Veronica. Her eyes were large and beautiful. Her nose was thin and small, much like Syrah's nose. Her hair was styled in curls that ran down the sides of her face, perfectly framing it in feminine beauty. I looked over to Paul and his masculine, chiseled face. It was kind of oval shaped but very cute. His jaw was well rounded and equally masculine. I stared back at Veronica. "She had many problems and just didn't want me anymore. I have no relatives so she left me here." Veronica was clearly a sensitive soul as her eyes began to water up as I told my fabricated story. "Daddy died a long time ago and I'm just so lonely here, I cry myself to sleep alot" I told her. Paul shook his head in gentle understanding, they were both clearly moved by my "plight". "Mommy used to hit and curse at me alot and throw things at me." I whimpered. I practiced making myself cry at will for such a moment like this! I let a small tear flow gently down my cheek. My make-up hid the troubled and tortured young woman underneath. "I've been waiting ever since for a new mommy and daddy". Veronica took out a tissue from her pocket and wiped her eyes. Without a word she hugged me and I embaraced her in return, pretending to be a little girl seeking comfort. "I'm so sorry for your loss Esther. Seems like you've had...such a horrible life for a nine year old" she sobbed gently. "I have an older sister too" I told her. "But I haven't seen her in years" I lied in the way only a sociopath could. Paul came over and ran his hand over my back. "You know, Veronica and I have been looking for somebody too. Somebody to share our home and our lives with us. You are so sweet and so mature for a little girl" he complimented me. "Thank you" I said between my fake sniffles. Veronica handed me a tissue and I wiped the tears from my eyes.

"I really like the two of you" I went on. "So many parents come in here and they seem mean and bad but you two are so different" I added. This was the honest truth! They nodded in understanding. Paul and Veronica couldn't help but smile at each other. They seemed absolutely delighted and enthralled by me! My heart felt like it would jump for deep inside I knew I would be "adopted" by them. They looked into each other's eyes, each seeming to agree on something. Veronica placed her hand over my own. "Tell you what Esther" she said softly. "I'm going to talk with Olishka so that my husband and I can learn a little more about you. You seem like such a wonderful child and besides you also speak English. I think our daughter would adore you so very much!" she said very lovingly. My eyes grew wide and I grinned at her in obvious excitement. She laughed gently at me and the husband and wife looked at me with pure adoration in their hearts/ I can tell the two of them were absolutely infatuated and charmed with me and that her and her husband would leave with me that instant if they could. Of course the only thing is that adoption would take some time. There would be paperwork and background checks and all the other bullshit that had to be done just like the first time I was "adopted". "You must be yearning for a home so badly" Veronica went on. "We might just be able to provide that for you, I don't even want to see the other children" she told me. I kept smiling, playing my cards the best I could. "We're going to talk with Olishka right away" Paul told me reassuringly.

He came over and gave me a hug and Veronica did the same. "I'd really like it if you gave me a home, even in America, I'd be so excited if I had a new mommy and daddy and big sister" I chirped charmingly. I clasped my hands together in excitement and bounced up and down several times on the sofa in glee in the way I knew a real child would. "I almost want to start calling you mommy and daddy already and we've only be talking for a little while" I said still excited.

The two of them laughed softly. "You keep this up young lady and you'll be called our daughter sooner than you think" Paul joked. I was playing them for all they were worth. Olishka came over after observing our conversation. "We would like to talk to you about Esther" Veronica said joyfully. "Oh!" Olishka replied. "Absolutely! We can go to my office right now and speak" she said cheerfully. The trio walked out of the room. Paul and Veronica waved at me smiling and I waved back as they walked with Olishka to her office. Surely the adoption process would begin today! I picked up my Bible and clutched it to my chest. I stared up at the ceiling with the hughest smile I could muster for myself. "Oh Leena Klammer, you fucking did it! You won their hearts! It took like five fucking minutes!" I told myself in my head. "God, Paul is so hot" I whispered in Estonian. "Veronica is not a bad catch, either" I added. Well, I sat on that sofa probably for the better part of over an hour before Veronica and Paul came back into the room with young Olishka following in tow. "Your sweeter than we could ever have hoped for in a child. My husband and I have learned so much about you" Veronica told me. I bounced up and down once again. "She's so cute" Paul told Olishka. She nodded with a smile. "Esther, if you would like, Paul and I here would like to be your new mommy and daddy, would you like that sweetheart, a new mommy and daddy?" she told me. "YES!" I shouted with glee. I stood up and hugged her hard around the waist. "Awwww! Your such a doll!" Veronica chimed. "A NEW MOMMY!" I shouted. I looked over at Paul and threw a hug around his waist as well. "AND A NEW DADDY!" I shouted again. "Your going to have a new sister too, isn't that exciting!" he told me in a way an adult would speak to a child. I could only nod but I felt disappointed that this girl was 16 and not a small child that I could play the "mommy" role to. Still, this was once again another shot at love and romance. Thoughts already began racing through my mind as to how to win Paul over to me. Thoughts even raced through my head as to how to become romantic to Veronica. They were both VERY sexy to me although my main intention was to be with Paul - this stud muffin who had now walked into my life.

"It will take a couple of weeks" Veronica added. "But we've seen that you have a passport and all your paperwork. Once we go through the background checks and everything that mommies and daddies have to go through we can take you home with us" she said tearfully. I jumped up and down and clapped my hands in child-like excitement. "YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY!" I shouted, my curls bouncing up and down. The two of them knelt down and hugged me. "It was such a joy meeting you Esther. We're staying in Moscow for the next few weeks and we'll be visiting you until we can bring you home" Veronica told me. "Thank you mommy and daddy" I bowed my knees again. "Thank you for wanting to give me a home!" I said softly, almost shyly. The two of them were moved to tears by my sense of innocence and embraced me as if I were already their own. "You did it Leena!" I told myself mentally. "Now you play the waiting game, it won't be long" my brain told me. "My wife and I have tickets to the Moscow Opera that we have to be at shortly but we'll be seeing you again tomorrow" Paul told me with such cheer in his voice. He had such a soft yet deep voice that it melted me like butter! I laughed in excitement and once again bowed my knees to them. Veronica laughed with overwhelming gladness when I did this. "Your soooo sweet and so ADORABLE!" she said loudly. "Rebecca will be so exicted to meet you" Paul added on. "I can't wait" I chimed. The two of them thanked Olishka and hugged me goodbye. "We'll see you tomorrow Esther" Veronica told me gladly. "Goodbye mommy and daddy, be safe!" I said innocently. The two smiled warmly at me and laughed in joy amongst themselves as Olishka led them out the door. I could NOT wait to tell Syrah the news!

Olishka came over to me smiling and hugged me tightly. "Oh congratulations honey! You found a new home my dear!" she said with equal excitement that my new "parents" expressed. I laughed out loud and hugged her back. If only those two knew they were talking to a 7-time killer, a former prostitute, a 32 year old woman who slashed a child's throat, a woman who committed arson and murder without remorse, a woman who was on a mission of love and who would stop at absolutely nothing to acheive her dream of a family, of an undying love, of a true sense of identity and belonging that had eluded her for her entire life. A woman named Leena Klammer...

In Chapter 10, the Sullivans take Leena back to America where she settles into a new life with her new "family" in rural Maine. Once Leena arrives, she continues to play the role of sweet and innocent Esther but it won't be too long before her games begin...