At the Edge of the World
Disclaimer: CCS is not mine.
Chapter Nine - Sonomi
The play comes and goes; a week passes; the season moves deeper into spring. The sakura trees are all suddenly sprouting tiny buds, pink and dainty; green-skirted young things eager to bloom. Nadeshiko is excited for Hanami* beneath the great big trees of the Tsukimine Shrine. It has been our tradition for the past eight years. I am a little worried, though – it's Nadeshiko's first year without her parents around. Not that they were ever really around, but she's quite sensitive. I wouldn't be surprised if she reacted badly.
We pass by the school library, where Kinomoto Sensei's seemingly attempting to placate the librarian about a torn textbook. The look on his face is so flustered that it's actually rather funny, and when he spots us he permits a mournful smile. I offer a sympathetic grin and a shrug, because all the students are very well acquainted with the wrath of the school librarian – but then I notice his eyes change, and realise that he is no longer looking at me. I follow his gaze to Nadeshiko, also conveying her silent sympathy, and something within me shifts. It's as if a great weight has dropped into my stomach; I find myself feeling sour for no plausible reason.
I spend the rest of the day savoring my bad mood. I snarl at Hajime when he drops my science worksheet, ignore my classmates, and only answer Nadeshiko in monosyllable. I feel a bit guilty that I don't want to feel guilty because she is so concerned, her mind preoccupied with my well-being. My heart throbs achingly with love as she places a sweet hand on my shoulder, and I revel in its' comforting weight. It's not her fault she's treated like the only Amamiya heir, and that I am ostracized. It not her fault that people like her better than they like me - it's only natural because she is beautiful and kind and amazing and I am just a grumpy she-bastard. My heart – my treacherous, ugly heart – twists into something petty and jealous despite my best (futile) efforts.
It's so hard when she has everything I long for.
"Ne, Sonomi," she says, "what's wrong?"
"Nothing."
She doesn't voice her concerns again; she knows not to.
"Let's get some crêpes after school," she says a little later. "We haven't had those in a while."
"Sure."
Overhead, the sky swirls angrily like its read my mind.
Glossary:
Hanami - Japanese cherry blossom viewing.
