AN: Sorry this is late, my computer has been acting up and it was a trial writing from Alice's POV. I hope you enjoy and thanks so much to my editor Jerilynn. If you would like to get in contact with her for editing purposes, please feel free to drop me a PM.

8. What came first

One of my very first memories was of the day after I was turned into a vampire. All I knew was my name was Alice and that I longed for blood. My first kill was a burly man named Charles Brenner. He was sick. I could sense that his blood tasted different than it should have. It was an awkward feeding, the man thanked me as his life drained from his body.. He was confused and thought it was his time. Despite my own needs I didn't enjoy taking his life. It seemed wrong. I lived for those first months like the angel of death. I took only what was already dying.

That Alice that scavenged for the deathly and dying seemed so far away. I learned how to cope with the change of diet. Since I never tasted healthy human blood the change to animal blood wasn't as difficult as it was for others.. The change felt good, organic and I was happy to have the Cullens and Jasper with me. It was harder of course for my love. He had been on the human diet longer than I. He also enjoyed it and saw no harm in it. Yet, Jasper had changed for me and for the overall cause.

I watched as Bella fell asleep. She was so fragile, so human. Sometimes, I forgot my friend wasn't one of us. Perhaps I had focused too much on the future Bella than the one who was in front of me. Over the last year Bella Swan had become an integral part of my life, and my family's lives. How this little human had taken refuge in my un-beating heart, was still a mystery to me. From the moment I met her, there was a connection. Up until that moment, vampires had been my only friends and family. Becoming close with the living was against all vampire laws. Humans were either food or enemies; there was no middle ground.

When I had first came to live with the Cullen family, things were different. The way Carlisle lived was like no other vampire I had met before. He was much older than I was, a friend of the Volturi but, also he was what I would call new wave. To live with humans, feed off of animals it was different. From all I had learned, others had never made it as long without human blood as Carlisle . The fact that he had the gift to withstand the smell and proximity of fresh human blood was a great gift.

It had been a year since that day, when I met the human girl. Bella Swan was a part of my life, she was my best friend. We had gone through so much together that I couldn't even see continuing on without her. From the first vision I had of the girl I knew it was meant to be. She was such an important part of our story; sometimes I feel like it hadn't started until we came to Forks.

I should have left Bella in Forks but I wanted her with me. This was one of the most important things I had ever done in my vampire life. Aside from meeting Jasper and finding the Cullens, I had no real significant memories. For reasons unbeknownst even to myself, I wanted my best friend by my side. As we delved deeper into my past I realized that perhaps, it would have been best to keep Bella at home.

This trip had meant the world to me. Even if I never fully understood my past, at least I tried. Jasper, my sweet husband as always, was my rock. He supported me in whatever crazy scheme I planned. In addition, Bella, God help her, went along for the ride and never questioned my need for answers. I could tell that at times my actions scared and confused her but, sadly she was used to it now.

I closed my eyes remembering the visions from the day. They were so murky and dark. It felt like I was on a different frequency. They were just out of reach. My visions had become my recollections. It felt as if, someone had tried to hide the memories on purpose. They were so close but unattainable. Bits and pieces of who I was and what had happened to me were filtered through some unknown force.

The last moments of my heart beating, were the only vivid memory I had regained. I remember it was dark and I was burning. Yet, also there was a comforting presence that assured me I was going to be okay. I could still smell the man, he smelled of earth. His voice was deep and had a southern lilt. There was also sadness and a sense of loss that I remember. It was in the sound of his voice, he knew me and knew me very well. It was my maker, of that I was sure. We were connected in some way.. It felt as if I had known him my entire life; as if he had been watching over me all this time.

I could barely make out his figure as he hovered above me urging the change. It was life or death and the outcome was in my hands. I could still smell his desperation. My survival was as important to him as it was for me. His cold hands burned like ice in mine. He held me like I was a baby, rocking me back and forth and whispering pleas to God. I remember thinking it was odd that a vampire was praying to God. I had always thought they were the harbingers of the devil. Yet, this one was praying to him hoping I would make it through the burn.

Bella stirred for a moment, her dreams seemed to be getting stronger and more disturbing. Nightmares were a mystery to me but I understood the concept. I had to swallow the guilt that threatened to stop my persistence. I would never let Bella get hurt. No one could ever claim I was irresponsible with the human. I wouldn't allow anything to happen to her. My connection to the girl was something even I couldn't explain. I lay back on the bed opposite Bella as she whimpered from her dream.

I wondered what it was like to dream. Another memory I could not retrieve. Her eyes fluttered rapidly as she moaned and turned from me. Her heart was beating faster, her pulse quickened and then subsided. I smiled hoping the worst was over. Perhaps she was thinking of my brother, my hopelessly in love and stupid brother, Edward. I loved him the most. However, he had reacted so harshly towards his first time with Bella, that even I was slow to forgive him.

Love; thankfully it wasn't just for the living. My love would be walking through that door in about ninety seconds. He would blame himself for not being able to help and fall in love with me all over again at first sight. It was the most amazing feeling to fall in love. I had thought it was impossible for my kind. My idea of begin a vampire was to walk amongst the living in constant torment. Until I had the vision of Jasper, my existence was my purgatory. It was as if he was calling out for me and I had no choice but to respond.

Jasper slid his door key through the reader. He, despite finding nothing, was in a good mood. The people throughout the hotel were in were preparing for bed or happily sleeping. I breathed in his scent that wafted through the room. I wondered if this was a part of being a vampire in love. His scent was the most intoxicating and magical aroma I had ever come across. To me, he smelled like a strong musk of flowers and a young buck running top speed.

"She's sleeping Jazz," I whispered lightly, standing up to greet my husband.

"I love you," he whispered, kissing me gently on the neck.

"And I you," I replied smiling and breathing him in deeper until I could feel his scent surround me.

"I found nothing, not one damn thing Alice ," Jasper spat annoyed at the lack of vital information.

"I know, it's okay Jazz."

"No, it ain't. I feel like there is nothing I can do for you," he lowered his head laying it on my stomach.

Jasper was a born fighter and protector. He treated me as if there was no one else in the world more important. I knew it was the truth, he loved me the same way I loved him. Natural and unnatural forces bound us. We were two beings that found each other under impossible circumstances. We sat together for a moment. I stroked his soft blond hair as he stayed in my arms for hours.

We spent most of the night discussing what my visions meant.. Anything I couldn't understand Jasper tried to decipher. His powers could uncover little things that I had overlooked. For instance my maker, he felt I loved him in some way. It wasn't a romantic love, but a different kind of bond.

The night for us vampires was usually spent processing all that went on during the day. Occasionally I liked to just sit and try to focus on my daily activity. When I did this, Jasper would sit with me very still and wait. Sometimes I wondered if he did the same thing as I did; if his thoughts and the emotions around him clouded his mind. However, I figured Jasper would walk through hell with me if I asked him to.

He hadn't found anything useful but at least Jasper felt like he was contributing. The morning sun was due to rise. There was a lot I had to do before we left for Washington that afternoon.

"Is there anything else you can remember about him Alice? His name? Or his voice?" Jasper asked after a few hours. I opened my eyes slowly. The hands on the clock had moved significantly since the last time either one of us spoke.

"No, just that it was soothing. As if I had heard him before. I feel I must have known him very well."

He became silent again for another hour or so. We waited as Bella stirred awake, taking her time to get acclimated to the new day. She was quiet that morning, full of unasked questions that would take days to come out. When we were finally back on the road, Bella looked peevish and ready for home. We had one more stop before our plan would take off. I knew the only person alive that could shed light on this story was my dear old Cousin Betty.

When we pulled up to the house it looked the same as it did the other day. The trees were greener from all the rain. The front lawn was still damp and ready for another weather system. Betty greeted us alone on the front porch, welcoming us out of the rain that was sure to start at any moment.

Cousin Betty was so excited to see us again that she had prepared a full spread for this visit. Cheese, crackers, fruit and chocolates were meticulously organized on the coffee table. Bella eyed the food hungrily. She had a small breakfast because of her nerves. Bella was sure to tell me about how hungry she was later. Chocolates and fruit were just enough to make her stomach growl softly. The smell was not in the least appetizing for me. I speculated what my favorite food was when I had a pulse. The smells did nothing for me but I could see enjoying the chocolate.

The woman hugged us all as if she had known us for years and sat us down.

"I am so glad you came to say goodbye. I hope you had fun here in Maryland ," Betty gushed smiling wide. "It wasn't the best weather I know that, but we normally have sunny days and warm nights."

Bella sifted uncomfortably in her seat. My human friend wanted to ask Betty questions, but she never would. Bella was too polite to interfere, instead she watched us intently, taking every nuance in.

"Well I couldn't go without saying goodbye. We actually went around town to find out more about our family history. That girl Mary Alice, her story seemed even more intriguing. We were hoping you could shed some more light on her story."

Cousin Betty smiled politely. I knew she was a gossip Queen, the woman was itching to tell me her theories on what happened all those years ago. It had been one of her favorite things in life, to tell other people's business. I had asked the perfect question. She licked her lips wondering if she should divulge the information. Her pulse quickened, the large artery, or the sweet spot as Jasper called it, bulged with every beat of her heart.

"Well that makes sense," the woman started, her smile lighting up her face. "There's many stories around poor young Ms. Mary Alice," she finished.

"Such as?" I asked smiling widely and leaning forward.

The woman looked around the room at the others who were listening intently. She reciprocated my movement leaning in, as if no-one else could hear our conversation.

"Well, I hate to spread tales but, I heard the little girl was pregnant. That's why they sent her to that awful hospital," she finished. Cousin Betty's cheeks were reddening already from the story.

I began to panic. For some reason, I knew this wasn't a rumor or a tale, it was the truth. I could remember the feeling of being pregnant. I recalled having an enlarged abdomen and being in complete and utter despair. My hand instinctively lowered to my stomach. Betty didn't notice but Jasper did. He could feel what I was feeling in that room. It was as if I had died all over again.

I steadied myself before continuing to question Betty. "Why would they do that? Who was the father?"

Betty reddened deeper, more crimson than blush. "Well, the family had their theories of course," she finished turning from me. The woman was weighing her options. She wasn't going to budge though, that much I could tell.

"Like what?" I asked knowing it was fruitless.

"Oh hodge podge, I don't want to bring that up. It's too scandalous and heartbreaking. It was just a sad, sad story."

Bella was sitting forward lost in the story. Her eyes were wide as various theories played in her head. "What happened to the baby?" she asked her eyes searching the older woman as Betty reddened.

I knew Betty didn't know. I was pregnant but the baby never came. It felt like a part of me was empty since I could remember. I was to be a mother and the chance never would come again.

"Oh, I'm not sure. Some say she died while in labor. I imagine the baby went with her. Poor thing having a child in that place, it was hard enough in those times but at her age."

Betty fanned herself. The excitement of talking about her family and gossiping at the same time was a real treat for her. It seemed like there was nothing left to say. Bella began to pick at her fruit and chocolate while Cousin Betty urged her son to come downstairs and at least say goodbye to us. The boy looked a bit more hesitant than before. His face turned bright red at the sight of me, he had a crush and it was cute. I smiled for his benefit but he only looked away, his heart beating faster. Teenage boys, they were quite easily excitable.

I could feel the vision coming. It felt similar to when you fall asleep. At least that's how Carlisle explained it to me. I was in a field, running across miles and miles of grass and terrain. Nothing looked familiar until I stopped. There I stood in a clearing. I had no idea who I was in this vision. The woods looked familiar they were in Forks now. I could feel their worry, it was the most intense vision I ever had. I felt this extreme connection to this said person. They were my maker, another vampire in Forks. It was all I needed to know we had to hurry home.

Jasper and Bella sensing my vision coming had stood up and began their goodbyes. By the time I had regained my bearings Bella was droning on about the beauty of the grounds and how exquisite the house was. That girl was becoming quit the little actress. I smiled interrupting the conversation and also said goodbye. My friends sighed with relief, both able to avoid the awkward explanation of why my face went blank a moment ago.

Jasper without hesitation drove us to the airport. Bella who sat in the backseat waited for us to say something. The tension was rising in the car but the girl still refused to be the one to fill the silence. We proceeded onto the plane in the same hushed tones as before. It was the fun trip I had wanted it to be. There were so many things that we all found out about my life, it was a dark ending to a dark day.

Flying was actually calming for Jasper and I. It meant being away from the ground and therefore, away from the onset of our powers. Despite the aircraft being filled with one hundred people, it was quite comfortable. Just as I sat back and the seatbelt warning bell sounded another vision began.

This was the second vision today, but it felt more like a warning then the others. It scared me when I saw those red eyes and the small petite woman. My heart would have skipped a beat when I realized the woman was with Laurent. It was at that moment when I realized the two most unruly vampires had joined forces. Laurent and Maria were together. The very thought of these two vampires coming together was enough to scare me. I opened my eyes with a jolt to find both Jasper and Bella staring.

"Another vision Alice ?" Bella asked her voice was almost inaudible to her own human ears.

I nodded sternly turning towards my love. We were still hours away from Seattle . The airplane shook as I turned slowly whispering to Jasper my fears. He could feel my emotions pulsing through my aura.

"What was it this time?" she wondered as I shook my head.

"Nothing important," I lied widening my eyes as I finished my final point to Jasper.

We didn't need words, not for years. A slight smile, a look was all that was required for us to fully communicate. Sometimes I wondered when it had happened. Jasper was always my soul mate, even before I knew what that word meant.

"The treaty is coming along. It will be anytime now," I informed them.

Bella turned to me hopeful. This treaty with the tribe was just as important to Bella as it was to us. It meant everything if we could convince the wolves to truly trust us. It also meant Bella could become one of us freely. Without negotiation we couldn't turn my human friend without consequences.

"Was that what the vision was about?" the human girl asked quietly.

I turned slightly to Jasper before back at her. She had caught the look, Bella wasn't dumb. She had been friends long enough with us to notice the little things other humans didn't. The other passengers thought nothing of our whispering. They talked freely about their plans with other strangers. A baby cried a few aisles down; she would stop crying in twenty-two minutes. Her mother would apologize profusely until then.

"Part of it Bells. We'll discuss it more when we get home," I answered her. I felt like more of a parent than a best friend. The feeling was odd, I didn't want to treat Bella like a child but, it was hard not to right now.

Bella fumed for a few minutes before she fell asleep the rest of the plane ride. When we landed in Seattle she jolted away, her face red on one side from the pillow. She was half-asleep as we ushered off the plane and into the car. Slowly the girl began to wake and by the time we reached Forks, she was anxious.

"What's going on?" Bella finally asked as we pulled into her driveway.

Edward was waiting in the dark as Jasper and I turned to one another. The girl was human, not an idiot. Her heart picked up speed just at the sight of her fiancé. He was truly the one for her. The three hundred and eight five days I knew Bella, her heart only pattered that way for my brother. Whether she knew it or not, they were each other's destiny.

"We don't know yet exactly," Jasper answered before I could get the words out.

My husband had warmed to Bella in the last few days. He had seen her in a different light than any other human before. She no longer was a walking meal, but a living breathing person. It was cute that this trip had formed a bond between the two.

"I don't believe you," she responded pushing the boundaries.

Jasper sighed turning towards the girl.

"She saw Maria, my maker and Laurent. They are coming to Forks. They want revenge on all of us."

Bella swallowed hard as Jasper kept his eyes on her examining her reaction.

"Maria?" Bella asked. The name gave the girl chills. Jasper nodded slowly.

"She will stop at nothing to get me back. I was a useful tool for her, and Maria enjoys collecting as much as the Volturi. We are not sure why they are coming other than revenge. I think it is something more. Maria doesn't just make a move without thinking it through. She's using Laurent for some reason."

"Why do you think they are coming really?" she asked leaning forward as Jasper smiled ironically.

"I believe it's for all of us. Revenge for Laurent but collecting for Maria. Perhaps Laurent has told her about you. If she is planning something big, she will need all the powerful vampires she can get."

"But I'm not a vampire," Bella insisted scared.

"No, not yet you aren't."

The human girl leaned back processing all the new information. I looked back towards Edward who was also listening in on what Jasper was telling Bella.

"He shouldn't have told her that," Edward commented annoyed at his brother.

"She needed to know," I responded. "We have no time to keep this a secret."

Edward looked over my shoulder at Bella. His eyes were so sad he took a minute before looking back at me. There was so much he had to tell me but, there was no need. I knew everything already.. The treaty was going well but not well enough. At the rate Laurent and Maria were coming, we would have to re-approach the Quileutes tomorrow otherwise Forks would be overrun by newborn hungry vampires.

"How are you?" Edward asked as Jasper helped Bella exit the car before pulling the luggage from the trunk.

"I'm fine," she answered looking towards Jasper and I, then back to her fiancé. Edward slowly moved towards her taking her luggage and then engulfing her in his arms. They stayed there for a few moments while I talked with Jasper.

"I am glad you are finally back. I missed you," my brother smiled studying Bella's face as she fought back her fear.

"They're coming Edward. When is it gonna end?" she cried unable to hide her tears any longer.

"I do not know Bella," he whispered ushering the girl towards her home.

We waited outside for twenty minutes until Edward returned. I had already called Jacob and he was on his way to our home. We had maybe a week or two until Laurent and Maria would be in Washington . If we didn't work together now the chances of survival were impossible.

Jacob was quick to arrive. He was already in our living room when we arrived home. The tall boy was pacing the floor while Carlisle and Esme talked with Emmett and Rosalie. They all looked worried and on edge. As we ascended the stairs quickly they turned eager for an update.

"I can't get them to meet any sooner than tomorrow," Jacob announced right away.

"We have to get them to agree by any means," Edward spoke up approaching Jacob.

"How will we do that exactly?" Rosalie asked already annoyed by the situation.

"I could pull rank," Jacob offered already stressed with the prospect.

"We might need you to do that," Jasper replied already excited for the fight.

My husband exchanged a smirk with Emmett. The two were enthralled for the fight, they longed for danger and excitement. I knew that the idea of dying again in a battle for their livelihood was both boy's ideal. Jacob and Edward talked quietly while I concentrated, hoping to see the future. It was bleak and empty but then that made sense.

"They'll join us," I finally said interrupting all the conversations.

"How do you know," Carlisle asked holding Esme tightly.

"Because I can't see anything, nothing. And that means they will be there with us. I know they will."

Jacob smiled excited. "I'll do my best then."

We waited at home for hours. Edward was with Bella as Jacob met with the tribe. The waiting was hard for us but, I knew it would work out. Carlisle was busy calling the others to help us. It wouldn't be hard to convince the Denali 's. They owed us after last year.

Being a vampire meant you were used to waiting. Unfortunately my family had become used to waging battles. As sad as it was, when you lived on the outside of norm of your kind there was an awaiting battle around every corner. It might have been easier to live like the Volturi, controlling Europe and feeding off the many tourists. Yet, living an easy life seemed like no life at all. As Carlisle would say, 'What is the point on being among the living if you couldn't feel good about yourself.' Regardless of our hearts beating or not, we still had to walk among the humans. The longer I stayed with the Cullens the more I understood my father.