Jenny
Breathing. Breathing feels hard to do but at the same time it's the only thing I can concentrate on. My breathing is low and faint. My mouth tastes like bile and acid, undigested orange juice and yoghurt and bread with peanut butter and jelly. It's disgusting and only serves to make me feel more sick. My body is heavy and the floor I'm sitting on and the tiled wall I'm leaning against is cold.
I have my eyes closed, wishing that this will just be over, the dizzy- and heaviness I'm feeling will just be over. I'll wake up and it will be a new day. A new day. Cause I'm just so tired and my body is spent after having heaved up everything that my stomach contained.
But now sitting on the floor, I realize that for that it was well too late and the stuff already was coursing through my blood, doing things to my body I wished to never feel again and having nothing left in my stomach didn't really help stopping it from happening.
I groan when the stagnant but heavy pulse I'm feeling pumping through my body reaches my head and makes it feel like there's not enough space for my brain in there. My brain pulsates and seems to grow with every second, hurting while pushing against its barrier.
I feel sick and weak, so weak that I can't even try to change the uncomfortable position I'm half laying, half sitting in against some wall. I sigh and surrender, surrender to the tiredness and let my body take over, let the slow constant pulse take over and listen to the voice that tells me to just sleep. Just sleep it off, no matter where you are. You have no idea where you are anyway.
Just when I dozed away for a bit I hear a loud bang, like a door flying out of its hinges and crashing against a nearby wall. I moan complaining against the loudness of the noise and shift on the floor.
"Jenny?" I hear a voice calling from far away. "Jenny!"
I perceive a sure grasp close around my right arm and hear a worried, "Hey?" floating around my head. Lazily I blink my eyes open. The task needing as much energy as a training of Ms. Lohmann.
A face hovers above me. Blonde short hair, sweet soft features, warm brown-green eyes which look somehow worried. I furrow my brows. Why do they look worried? I don't like them to look worried.
"Jenny are you okay?" the person at my side asks.
"Emma," I let the name roll of my tongue and smile, closing my eyes again, feeling a bit more warm than before.
I feel her hands touch my face, her touch like a warm summer breeze, stroking hurriedly over my cold sweaty skin, brushing my hair away from my eyes. "Jenny what happened?"
I hear her sigh when I'm unresponsive. But speaking would take so much energy.
"Jenny," she hesitates, "are you high?"
I furrow my brow, the word she used displeasing me, but still ringing true somewhere in my head.
"It was Ronnie," I hear myself mumble in order to defend myself. It was Ronnie, not me. Please don't believe this is me.
She sighs once more and her fingers sweep through my hair.
"Okay, I'll...I'll have to get you to a hospital or something."
"No!" I groan and fight my eyes open. "No, it's okay." I push myself further up, having no idea from where the energy boost just came. But my heart is beating faster and I guess adrenaline can do wonders. "I'm, ugh, fine."
"Jenny, you're not..." she starts to say something but in my head there's a whole other movie playing. "They'll keep me there forever," I say trying to keep my eyes open, but I can't by the scenes which are coming up in my mind about hospitals. Needles, tests, getting ones stomach pumped. This time I'd not be so lucky like the last time. "They won't let me out again."
I hear the the door flying open once more and soon there's a third voice which joins the both of ours. "Emma, they're searching for Jenny now. Sophie told them she's high and..." The third voice halts. "Oh wow. She's looking like shit."
Emma's hold on my arm tightens in that moment and I open my eyes again, just wanting to look at her and see her pretty face looking upset about someone saying something mean to me. It's always so cute when she's getting all defensive.
"Sorry. Sorry, that was..uh.." the third voice goes on in the background somewhere. "I think we should get her out. They talked about drug tests and consequences and stuff."
"Okay, but..." my Emma speaks unsure and glances thoughtfully questioning at me. "Uh..shouldn't we..."
I feel like being able to read her thoughts and my heart is doing one of those kick start things again, making me push further up on the wall and grasp her hand. "Just get me home, please? I just need to sleep."
Emma presses her lips together in a discontent way but nods. She pulls my arm around her neck and looks up to Luzi, who I see for the first time when she walks into my view and follows Emma's example by stepping to my other side, the both of them helping me up on my heavy legs.
