Pairing: Hotch/Emily

Date: December 9, 2009

Song: Hard Candy Christmas by Dolly Parton


Hotch heard the news from Morgan...they'd solved the case. Their first case without Hotch.

He heard the news and bit back bitterness and self pity. He was home, with Jack. Strauss had been by.

There was no reason to feel...the way he felt.

He already knew the answer to her question.

He'd be going back. He wasn't sure why...in fact, he had no idea why. He didn't want to label it, he didn't want to make it real.

Jack had just slipped into sleep, and Hotch was leaving his bedroom, when he heard a soft knock at the door.

He didn't want to open it. He was afraid to see who was on the other side.

He turned the knob and it swung open to reveal Prentiss.

"Prentiss," he said, not surprised but still a bit taken aback.

"Hi," she said. "It's just...after the case, and I thought...maybe you'd like...or I don't know."

The complete incoherence of the sentence made it impossible to understand her meaning.

"What?" He asked.

"I just wanted to say," she said, her cheeks flushing a bit. "I hope you come back."

He looked at her, the woman who'd been working alongside him for three years now, and who'd seen just as much, if not more, of the darkness of the world.

"I'm going to," he said softly.

She nodded and slipped away as quietly as she'd come.


The case load was horrific. Hotch came back and had a second of doubt as he looked at his desk: what the hell am I doing back here? Why did I think this was a good idea?

The next case tore him into pieces he didn't want to admit, and the next time she came to his office door, she didn't knock.

"Why did you come back, if you were going to try to blow it all?" She asked, her hands flattened on his desk in anger.

"I just thought..."

"What about Jack?" She demanded. "You went in there without a vest, for Christ's sake."

"It worked," Hotch said baldly.

"It's Christmastime, Hotch," she almost screamed. "Did you want Jack to spend his first Christmas without Haley alone?"

The words hit him like freezing water, startling him awake.

"I didn't want to spend it...at all," he said after a long pause. "It's not like any Christmas I've ever..."

The words trailed off. Prentiss left his office in a whirl of anger, not even looking back.


He called her, a few days later, after work was over.

"I'm sorry," he said simply.

"Why do you think it's enough?" She asked.

"I thought it was enough for me to realize that it's you I needed to apologize to," Hotch whispered.

He almost heard her tighten the grip on her phone. He could almost see her: the look of pain that would be on her face right now.

"You ended it," she bit out, her voice barely above a whisper. "And then you didn't even look at me for days."

"My wife died," he said. "And I killed her murderer...doesn't that excuse some of it?"

"I don't know," she said, and he could hear her sobs.


At work the next day, he took a chance and called her into his office.

"Haley said to teach Jack how to love, to show him," he began, cutting to the chase because dodging it would be more painful.

She stared at him. "What is that supposed to mean to me?"

"I don't know," he said, covering his face with his hands.

"Hotch, I...loved you," she said. "And I still do but that's not enough when you can't even...look at me half the time."

"The woman I love was murdered," he said. "Can I help it if I look at you and see the same fate?"

"Foyet is gone," she said, her voice rock hard. "And I'm not Haley. I won't go down like that."

"I can't even ask it of you right now," he said, changing the subject. "No matter how much I want to...I couldn't."

"You should," she said, her voice shaking. "I want you to. Just ask, Aaron."


He shopped for gifts, for little things to make Jack's Christmas bright. He thought of Haley, and how she would probably have taken Jack to church on Christmas.

Hotch wasn't sure he could handle that.

Emily showed up on Christmas Eve, her clothes coated in snow as she shook herself off on his proverbial doorstep.

"Hotch, I know that you and Haley always went to church on Christmas," she began. "I'm not trying to take her place but I was thinking that you might not be able to go...alone."

"I wasn't planning to," he said simply.

"I was thinking, we could go to midnight mass instead," she said. "It would be different. Haley wasn't Catholic."

"I don't..." Hotch began but as she spoke the words, he saw the look on her face. "Jack would like staying up that late."

"He would," she said, a smile playing on her lips. "Come on."


After mass, they walked home from the church. He wasn't sure if it was he or Emily or said it, by their movements and thoughts, but somehow on the way home they made a decision.

"I brought something," she said when they'd reached his apartment. "It's completely wrong and stupid but I had to do it."

"What?" He asked, after Jack had been settled in bed.

"Mistletoe," she said. "I don't care if you send me home after that. I can understand that and I can wait. But kiss me under the mistletoe. Show me you love me at least that much."

He'd never said the words but he knew they were true.

His lips met hers, and his arms slid around her.

He knew she wouldn't make it home tonight. He'd make sure of that.


A/N: Yeah, I'm never writing Hotchniss again. I spent half the time writing this just banging my head on the desk asking myself why I was even trying. It's not that I don't ship it...yet it is. I don't ship it and never have and while I have come across some very beautiful stories involving them as a couple, it's not for me. But I did my best.

What did everyone think?

And yes, I plan to get a second out today:

Pairing: Emily/Spencer

Date: December 10, 2013

Song: All I Want for Christmas is You by Mariah Carey