A/N - Ahh! I got stupidly distracted and once again addicted to The Sims 3! Woops -_- All because I made Cilan from Pokemon Black and White (I need a life as you can tell). Well, after the shocker that was last chapter, we're back to Iruka's PV - I think that's what it's called? Oh well! You know what I mean I'm sure! There's not much to say about this chapter apart from the morning after the night before... That kind of ties into it, well, enjoy! Song of the chapter (if you choose to listen to it) is Smash mouth - All star... You'll see why later =)

Disclaimer - I do not own any form of Naruto or the pairing Kakashi x Iruka (however, the person who did invent it is a bloody genius!)

This is A/N

This is rather exaggerated words and dreams/thoughts etc

This is normal story.

Be warned, I'm English, we like to swear and drink tea (there will be a lot of references to coffee in this fan fiction) -_-

...

The Ice Where Your Skating, Is Getting Pretty Thin -

I washed vigorously, trying to rub off the remains of my dirty, inappropriate dream. No, Kakashi had not come on me last night, and no, my shampoo did not look like male bodily fluids.

Why had I dreamt that anyway? It must have been because I slept in clothes when my skin still smelt of him. The wonders of the mind... But what a bastard it could be. I still heard my moan as I climaxed joyously - but if I sounded like that in real life, somebody would probably have to shoot me - and still felt Kakashi's hand play along my co-

No!

My body would not respond to such memories!

...

"Mr. Hatake will not be in today".

I paused, eavesdropping on the headmasters office.

Jiraiya was speaking on the phone, his voice short and raspy, as though he'd eaten too much and couldn't move. Which... Wouldn't really surprise me...

"Is there a reason your listening in, Iruka?"

I stood to attention, ashamed of being caught. What kind of good gossiper gets caught by the person you were trying to listen in on?

"Is Kakashi ill, sir?"

"Mr. Hatake will not be with us today", Jiraiya repeated, voice stern.

"Why not sir?"

"Very personal reasons".

The word 'very' only sparked my interest further.

"I'm not allowed to tell you anymore Iruka".

"Is it true what I've heard, sir?" Anko walked through the staff only doors, hands in her skirt pockets, head down. She didn't acknowledge my existence.

"...Is Kakashi's wife dead?"

I let my mouth fall open, muscles too weak to hold even my legs straight. Instead, I wobbled, threatening to fall onto the carpet without even attempting to catch myself. Neither Anko nor Jiraiya seemed too bothered by the fact I was about to collapse either.

Instead, Jiraiya just nodded, turning to me, satisfied that he'd answered my question.

Faith was... Dead?

...

Mumbling to myself that it couldn't be true, I fumbled around for the piece of paper with Kakashi's number on it that I'd left in my pocket from yesterday. That's right, I hadn't changed my shirt since yesterday...

This couldn't be true. Faith had seemed so bright and hyper yesterday. How could someone go so downhill in such a short amount of time?

Punching the numbers into my mobile, I pushed the receiver to my ear.

The phone on the other end rung so many times that I thought about ending the call, but on the last ring before voicemail, a choked man with a raspy voice picked up.

"...Hello?"

I heard nothing but silence in the background to his voice. It unnerved me to know that Kakashi was on his own.

"Why aren't you at school?" I asked, regretting that I should ask such a personal question.

The silence of the background flooded into the foreground to cover Kakashi's voice. But the line didn't go dead. I was still with him."...Faith died last night...". I heard him grasp onto air to stop himself from crying.

Deep inside, I felt a pang of sadness and somehow, guilt. I'd heard it from the man's lips. Faith was dead...

...

A taxi drive and many dodgy directions later, I somehow managed to end up outside Kakashi's house.

Sighing, I opened the door, paid the driver and told him he didn't have to come back for me.

As I watched the black cab drive off, I was suddenly frightened, and nervous.

The driveway was empty, apart from Kakashi's car. I would have at least expected people to have turned up and said sorry for Kakashi's loss. Like Faith's parents, you would have expected them to come around and grieve with him. But no. There was nobody. Not even the wind blew as I knocked the cottage's front door.

Kakashi opened it cautiously, spotting it was me before opening the door fully.

I could tell by his slouch that the man had conjured up some kind of illness from crying. And by the way his eyes looked sore and cracked, I could tell he'd been crying a lot.

"Are you ok?"

What a stupid, stupid question to ask. Of course the man wasn't bloody ok Iruka! What kind of heartless bastard do you think he is? His wife's just died and all you can do is ask 'are you ok?'! What a feeble, feeble start to a conversation.

"Not really, no". The man sniffed and attempted to smile - not that I could see anyway. "Would you like to come in?"

Not really, no, I wanted to say. I didn't want to walk into a house where the ghost of someone's wife could be roaming.

Kakashi sensed my hesitation. "Don't worry, they took her body away this morning".

That didn't make me feel any better. All of a sudden this house that had seemed so beautiful and cosy yesterday, now appeared to be the victim's house from a CSI episode.

"Do you want to come in, or not?" There was agitation in his voice. The kind of agitation that said 'if your going to fuck me around, fuck off'. So I stepped inside.

The front room was still warm, but there was a chill aerating from invisible vents. The warmth of a woman's touch was gone, and there was a hum of distant music coming from the TV.

"I'm revisiting our favourite songs", Kakashi enlightened me. "It helps ease the pain".

"Oh", was all I managed to say. This conversation wasn't headed in the direction I wanted it too. I wanted to hear about how she died, was she in pain, how did Kakashi feel? Nobody had died who was close to me recently, so I'd kind of forgotten how it felt. But from Kakashi's state, I could recall it wasn't good.

"Take a seat". Kakashi patted the sofa. He sat on the arm, running a hand through his unruly hair -even more unruly then usual. It was thick in places, like the tears had dried from when he was lying down. "I guess you want to know what happened".

This man was a mind reader... Or maybe I was just easy to read.

Slumping into the seat he had offered, I twiddled my thumbs, wary of the fact a dead person could have been sitting here less then a couple of hours ago.

"They say she died because of the illness. I woke up and that was it. She was staring me in the face, dead".

I conjured up the horrific scenario in my mind. Kakashi was sleeping when he awoke - obviously -, the eyes of a glassy, porcelain doll staring back at him, breath cold and skin pale.

"To say the least, she didn't look peaceful".

I wasn't going to sleep tonight...

"But I think, somehow, I managed to play a part in her death..."

He murdered her?

I shifted uncomfortably against a cushion ridden with dog hair. "How so?" Please don't say you threatened her, hurt her, put a knife to her throat, please don't-

"We had a pretty intense argument before bed".

Oh. Just an argument. But an intense argument. "How do you mean 'intense'?". I should have been born a journalist.

"She told me how long she had left to live, and I flipped". He ran another hand through another part of his hair. "I shouted in her face and told her she was pathetic. She still had a month... a month we could have spent together... And it would have ended in a hospital bed... Not our bed..."

Did she just randomly tell him? Surely he must have done something to have brought it up?

"We tried to have sex. But it hurt her, and she was in so much pain I had to stop. She never used to want me to stop, but I was always the one to chicken out. I just couldn't stand to see her in pain... I mean-" he slammed his hands to his face, rubbing savagely into his eye sockets with the ball of his wrist. "I caused her death... I'm a murderer Iruka!" There was an unnerving waver in his voice, which unnerved me.

I'd only ever seen Kakashi cry once, and even then it wasn't properly. I only saw the red eyes I saw him with now, only this time their were tears trickling down over his mask.

I wiped one of them away with a thumb.

"Don't." He pulled away, wiping them back himself. "Faith did that when she promised me we'd have tomorrow to talk. I told her 'what if there isn't a tomorrow?' But she promised me she'd still be alive... Maybe I forced her into it Iruka... Maybe I forced her to commit suicide!"

That was enough.

"Look". I planted my knees in his carpet, forcing the hands away from his face. "It's not your fault... The cancer took her".

"She chose not to fight it".

"Maybe she knew she wasn't strong enough".

"Maybe she didn't want a life with me..."

"Stop it!" I stood up, shocked by the dominance in my voice.

Kakashi stared up too, flinching, like I was going to hit him.

"This is not your fault. You blaming yourself is your fault... Your never going to get over it if-"

Kakashi gripped my hand, squeezing the knuckles together until his own hand was whiter then usual. "...Your right". His head was down and his fringe covering most of his face so I could no longer determine his facial expression. Was he mad? Was he going to hit me? Shit...

Instead, when Kakashi looked up, he was smiling, holding the tears back for a second. "We loved this song".

Listening in hard, I recognised it. It was one from my favourite childhood movie, Shrek.

"Some-body once told me the world is gonna-" I forgot the words, skipping a line. "I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed-".

"She was lookin' kinda dumb with her finger and her thumb-"

"-In the shape, of an 'L', on her fore-head". I planted my fingers in an 'L' shape between Kakashi's sweat dried forehead and eyes, an awkward smile creeping across my face.

He smiled the same awkward tension back at me, mimicking the action like a child who had just learnt something new.

With our spare hands, we began to sway almost drunkenly, still linked to each other via a weak link of fingers, singing the only words of the song we knew.

I envisioned them then, Kakashi and Faith, dancing in their front room to the song, maybe on their first date, singing and imitating un-official actions like I was doing now.

Kakashi was smiling, singing the chorus and staring into my eyes all the while. He was obviously envisioning too. Remembering the good times.

The good times that kept Faith linked to him in this life.

A/N - A little longer then normal but AWWW! I really enjoyed writing that chapter just cause it was so sweet! And I love the song (this fic from now on, might well be based around parts of that song) because it makes me happy ^_^, and it has sentimental meaning to me and my friends! Well, hope you enjoyed the chapter, and we'll see how the next one goes! Thanks to all those who have reviewed! They are very much appreciated and I always like to see/hear your views! (Keep it up guys!) Until next chapter, chao for now and thanks for reading! Xxx =)