Surprise, The Surface Sucks: Chapter 9


"Auraghhghhh!" Everyone screamed.

Papyrus dropped the child, waving his hand around as if burned.

Toriel quickly grabbed hold of the corpse. She froze in horror.

Everyone was stiff, quiet.

Asgore was the first to blink through his shock. He wasn't a stranger to sudden death.

"Toriel…" He stopped. Nothing could be said.

"Auack ha ha~!"

Suddenly, a sick laughter began.

Immediately it broke the tension. Undyne raised a spear and Papyrus clutched a bone uncertainty.

What horrible creature made such a sound?

At first Asgore suspected Toriel. She was shaking, but then stood up and backpedaled.

It wasn't her. Toriel looked faint.

"Keep it away!" She screamed.

The corpse began to write and move.

It was alive!

It began crawling forward.

"Everyone keep away!" Asgore boomed. "I'll handle this!" He summoned his trident.

"Ha ha acuack!" It was the corpse who laughed.

Asgore raised his trident. He face solem.

He didn't strike the corpse however.

It wasn't dangerous in its laughing, he told himself.

His hands shook as they clasped the handle.

He had thought dealing with children was far behind him.

The prongs of the trident poked the corpse's putrid pelt. Asgore couldn't bring himself to sink the weapon deeper.

The fur crumbed into dust at a mere touch.

"Oh man! I've never seen such funny faces!" The voice bubbled with amusement. Despite being a corpse, the child still spoke.

But it was very much dead. The neck flopped forward, broken. Its muzzle didn't move, nor did its eyes blink.

Yet it was alive.

Toriel hid behind her paws. Everyone cowarded when the child again reached for its head.

"Stop it!" Undyne commanded.

But the child didn't listen.

*Creak creak*

The neck twisted back and forth. Dust flaked generously to the ground.

*Pok*

The head fell off. More cleanly than expected.

Not a single drop of blood was seen.

Oh.

A skull starred back up at them. It was a child, but not the kind they thought.

It was a skeleton, and didn't resemble a hirsine in the slightest.

The skeleton wiggled about-a maggot in a corpse.

The hirsine's body was nothing more than a hollow shell-a macabre costume.

It was discarded to the side. The head rolled about and the skeleton child kicked it out of view.

It beamed at the group, as if attempting to look casual.

It patted itself free from dust. It wore only a red sash, turned pink from said dust.

"Gosh, so what're you folks doing out here?" It approached Toriel specifically.

She swiftly backed away, terrified.

"You guys actors?"

It was Gerson who grabbed it by the arms.

"What you did there sonny was a very cruel trick!" His wrinkles soured into a rare scowl.

Undyne followed suit. She approached with bandages meant for her bite, which she used to bind the child's arms together.

"Yeah, kid! What the hell? That was so twisted!" Undyne glared. Her fins posed for a fight.

Toriel had sought comfort in Asgore. She was sobbing openingly in his embrace and he seemed on the verge of doing so himself.

A quiet fell onto the group. Only Toriel's cries were heard.

The kid seemed satisfied with itself.

Its teeth had curved into a bloody smile.

Undyne mentally cursed. That was her blood!

The sight of their king and queen so disturbed sent the group into a silent frenzy.

The child couldn't be excused!

Undyne and Gerson were quick to set up a makeshift prison for the child.

"Don't think you're getting on without a punishment, little snaps!" Gerson chided.

Surprisingly, the child didn't struggle or shout when they picked it up. It looked bemused more than anything.

*Clack*

It was placed in a wooden crate with a single board removed. It peered through the opening with plain curiosity.

Undyne made her disgust clear as she erected a tent around the child-so no one would have to look at it.

"I can't believe that happened!" Undyne rubbed her arm vigorously.

"Papyrus, go talk some sense into that twisted BRAT!" The ground rocked as Undyne stamped around.

Papyrus looked aghast. "What me? No Undyne, I can't!"

"Yes you can! The bastard BIT me! Its a skeleton, you're a skeleton-find some info on it!" She stomped away angrily. "That's an order soldier!"

Papyrus gulped. He couldn't remember the last time Undyne gave him an order so serious.

He gritted his teeth, a bit lost.

"O-of course! I'm the great Papyrus, afterall!" He called back.

Gerson was kind enough to hand him parchment and a quill to take notes.

"Good luck."

Papyrus didn't think he needed it, but he was completely baffled as to what would make a child act so grossly.

He had to find found out.

"Greetings babybones!" He rapped on the crate to politely announce his presence.

"Heyo~!" The child seemed oddly chipper.

Papyrus smiled as he noted it down.

"Now, I hope you don't mind if I ask you a few questions."

"Sure, go ahead! But I want to ask some too."

"Of course, the great Papyrus deems that fair. Know that he would be happy to answer any of your enquiries!"

"Neat."

"Okay let's see...why uh...did you...throw a rock at me,bite my friend Undyne, and then scare us all terribly-notably poor lady Toriel?"

The child remained silent. Perhaps it was too much at once.

"It's alright. You can take your time answering."

The child scuffled around the crate. Its hand clawed at the outerboards as it thought.

"Dude, I have no clue...I was tripping hard. I'm not sure what's real anymore."

"T-that's horrible. How could that happen to you!?"

Papyrus never thought tripping could be such an issue. The child didn't have a problem walking, did it?

He peered through the boards and saw the child shrug. "Duh, drugs~!"

"Er, what are drugs?"

The child was silent for a moment.

"You mean...what kinda drugs? Well, I can brew up a sweeeeeet mad honey; though, I call mine rad honey." The child waved a hand around. "Be sure to note that down for my auction. I don't wanna go cheap."

Papyrus nodded along, but understood little.

"Oh dear. Babybones, you will have to excuse me. I'm still not sure what these drugs are?"

The child fretted some more, but stayed silent.

"Ok, I've marked that down…" Papyrus trailed off. A sudden panic seized him. "OH MY STARS!"

"Holy splints, the fuck is it?!" The child shrunk back, startled.

"I can't believe it! I've done it again. I was so excited...or nervous...to meet another skeleton, that I forgot to ask your name!"

Papyrus blushed and ink smeared onto his face as he pressed the parchment close.

"Uh, my name? Sure...it's... it's Gabby."

"Gab-bee? Like a bee?"

"...No? Folks call me Gabby, so I guess that's my name."

"Gabby...well, that's a nice name."

"Thanks?"

Gabby wasn't sure what this Papyrus guy was getting at. Nobody cared about the name of a captive. Only when demanding ransom was it required, but Gabby was expecting no rescue.

There was only one possibility.

Okay!" Gabby cracked a knuckle bone.

"My turn. When is my auction? I wanna know so I can mentally prepare myself."

Papyrus nibbled the top of the quill. He didn't know what an auction was either.

"Can you...Gabby, can you please explain an auction?"

Gabby sighed. "Dude!" The crate rattled as frustration settled in.

"Are. You. Going. To. Sell. Me?!"

"What ah ah! What's all this ruckus? I was hoping to get a nap in." Gerson flipped open the tent. He grimly regarded the crate.

"Well tough splints old man! This guy is denser than a rock!"

Gerson tisked.

"I doubt that. Now be a good boy and settle down. The adults are gonna talk."

"I'm a girl, you stupid walnut!"

Gerson led Papyrus out of the tent. His bones rattled and he looked a bit overwhelmed.

Undyne approached. Her fins stood stiff. Rage stewed in her core.

"Alright, what did the brat say?" Papyrus wordlessly handed over his notes.

Undyne read it over a few times. Papyrus had good handwriting, but she had to be sure.

"Wait, hold up!" Undyne could hardly believed it. "Drugs?! An Auction? ….Selling? What was that brat yammering on about?" Genuine surprise wrinkled her scales.

Gerson sighed. "I'm thinking the snaps is talking about slavery. You know, selling folks? It...was pretty common prior to the war."

Papyrus looked sick. He finally understood.

"Oh no, so Gabby thinks we're going to sell her? Like tomatoes at market? T-that's…so sad. Please excuse me…"

"Yeah go ahead Papyrus. Thanks, seriously!" Undyne sighed. She might as well ask the brat questions as well. No doubt Papyrus had been overwhelmed

"So you're Gabby?"

"Yep!" Gabby was much too chipper for her liking.

"Any chance I can get an apology? That bite was a mean one."

"Hrm, I don't see why not. Well, if you can't fight, you gotta bite! Yeah...I'm not the best fighter yet, so note that down for my records. I don't wanna be sold off as arena bait or something."

"Bait? Arena? Kid that sounds ridiculous. We are not gonna sell you-seriously."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously." Undyne licked the tip of her quill. Already pages were littered with ink.

"Yeah, slaves aren't a thing where I'm from."

Undyne was familiar with the term. Anime had taught her much.

"Really?" Clearly Gabby didn't believe her.

"Where are you from then?"

Undyne scowled, patience thin. "Sorry kid, that's confidential information. You're gonna have to take my world for it."

"That's batshit!"

Undyne cringed at the language. It was strange to hear a curse from a voice so squeaky.

"Well, kid. You're gonna have to deal." Papers were neatly stacked. "It's late so I'll be asking questions tomorrow. If you're good I might consider letting you go with a warning."

Undyne didn't wait for a response as she left and settled down near the campfire.

Papyrus divvied out plates of spaghetti.

Everyone pecked at the food slowly.

The day had been too much.

Papyrus wasn't about to let their guest go unfed.

A brimming plate was placed beside the crate and a fork, deposited between the boards.

"Here you are babybones! Don't hesitate to call on the great Papyrus for more!"

Gabby watched him leave, grinning through the boards. She flicked the fork in-hand and twirled it around, coveting the precious tool.

Escape was too easy.