Chapter Nine: A Series of Celebrations
Because of multicultural week, the Dining Hall that night was particularly stunning as the students were garbed in their own cultural attire. Rhon, who was wearing something green and scaly, finally revealed that he indeed, common to popular belief, had some goblin heritage.
Upon seeing his outfit, Darko Malfoil strode up and made a specicist remark, which was so specicist that It Should Never Be Uttered Again.
But it did result in the planning of a duel for the next night.
"You take that back," Harry snapped at Darko.
"Alright, I take it back," sighed Darko serenely. "Muggle."
"TAKE IT BACK, OR – OR – or… I'll poke you!" Harry grabbed his wand and poked Darko in the ribs, causing him to squeak.
Suddenly, Squirrel ran into the dining hall, squealing like a sissy. "THERE'S A TROLL IN THE GIRLS BATHROOM!" he shrieked, and fainted.
Rhon raised an eyebrow. "How the heck would he know?"
Dumbledork waved for quiet. "Everyone go to your house rooms and STAY THERE, DAMMIT! The teachers will deal with the troll."
Hermitwo's face went pale. "Wait, I'm supposed to be in the bathroom, aren't I?" she hurried off.
"Crud," grumbled Rhon. "We'll have to go and rescue her, won't we?"
Harry turned and yelled at Hermitwo's retreating back. "Oi! Why don't you not go to the bathroom, so then we would not have to rescue you?"
Hermitwo considered this for a moment, then shrugged. "Meh. Plot points, you know. Gotta keep 'em."
Harry and Rhon plodded on. "Where the heck is the girl's bathroom, anyway?"
Rhon motioned to a passing female ghost. "Hey! We're looking for the girls' bathrooms. We need to perv-"
The ghost gave him a weird look and drifted off through a wall.
"We need to pervade it to rescue a friend...dammit, what did she think I mean?" Rhon said, while staring at a tapestry of His Royal Fuzziness the Bohemian Llama King.
"Let's go," said Harry. "I found this handy map which shows us all we need to know."
"Doesn't that come in the third book?"
"Meh."
They then hurried off to the girl's bathroom. As they opened the door, Rhon took a deep breath. His voice was shaky when he spoke. "I don't know about you, Harry," he said, "but I've never ventured into a socially taboo area before and I'm quite nervous."
"That's alright," said Harry. "Apparently in one of Louis Sachar's books, walking into a girls' bathroom can actually turn out pretty well."
"Wait...we're talking about the author with a straaaange fixation for holes?"
"That's the one."
"I'm not sure I feel so reassured, Harry."
"Your reassurance is my number one priority. Be sure of it, Rhon."
Looking even more put off, Rhon entered the bathroom.
And encountered a tea party.
At a small white table in the centre, Hermitwo was sipping green tea. Directly opposite her, was a nine-foot mountain ogre daintily nibbling a small cake. It was saying something in a faintly tinny voice.
"And the dark green patches annoy me so - "
"Oh, yes, I know what you mean," Hermitwo tinkled. "I find it so awfully difficult to get grass stains out. And you wouldn't expect that to be a problem with a black uniform, would you? Oh, Harry! Rhonda! So nice of you two to drop by. Two sugars?"
The door suddenly swung open and McGallstone rushed in. "How DARE you! The very NERVE!"
Hermitwo stood up quickly. "I'm so sorry, Professor McGallstone - it wasn't me who ate the last lamington, at any rate." She glared at the troll, whose ears drooped.
"Here, try these jam tarts – second-rate, but still satisfactory."
McGallstone flopped down, looking quite ruffled. "And I asked specifically for you to save me some," she sniffed.
"Well, in light of leaving me no lamingtons, I deduct a hundred points from Grandmador." Professor McGallstone crowed. "But I award the boys fifty points each for Grandmador for having the sheer pig-headedness to think that they could take on a Hungarian Tea party troll. Tsk. I've never laughed so hard in my life."
There was silence.
"You haven't laughed yet," Rhon pointed out.
Professor McGallstone scowled disapprovingly at him. "Well, young man, I usually hgual, so you should count yourself lucky that I haven't done so yet!"
Harry, Rhon and Hermitwo returned to their dormitories.
"Whoa. Are we, like, friends now?" Rhon asked Hermitwo. She sniffed.
"There are some things in life that, when experienced together, you can't help being friends," she said. A warm fuzzy feeling spread through the air. "Unfortunately, attending a tea party with a troll is not one of them. I consider the both of you to be mildly interesting acquaintances, nothing more." She left.
