Team Obnoxious: Wendy, Pauline, Jojora, Flurrie, Ms. Mowz, Starlow, Luvbi, Goombario, Fly Guy, Blooper, Waluigi
Team Idiot: Toadette, Dixie, Birdo, Watt, Sushie, Lakilulu, Boshi, Petey, Wiggler, Kooper
"Welcome back to Mario Party Deluxe! I am your new host, the one and only...KING BOWSER KOOPA! Bwahahaha! If anyone has a problem with this, then speak up now or forever hold your peace!" Bowser laughed.
A random Toad audience member raised his hand and stood up. "Yeah, I actually have a major problem with that. Who the hell hired you to fill in for Mario and Luigi? Nobody here likes you!"
Bowser smirked at his response then snapped his fingers. Two clubbas ran over to the Toad and started whacking him with their maces. Everyone gasped and watched in horror.
"HA! Nice job, daddy! We are going to rule this show together till the very end!" Wendy snickered.
"Don't you dare listen to her, Bowser! Don't you even think about rigging this competition in her favor otherwise the show will be boycotted and I won't get my well deserved moolah!" Jojora demanded.
Bowser rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, Jojo. Let's just get on to the poll results so I can go eat some coconut cake."
"Wait! I still need to be introduced! Hello everyone, I am the second replacement host and you may call me Rosalina!" The space queen spoke and everyone clapped for her.
"Oh, I apologize about that, Rosalina. I forgot that you were even here, you know, considering you're such a forgettable character since Nintendo made you an obvious Peach clone," Bowser spat.
"Now now Bowser, let's not get an attitude just because you recently got rejected from Cackletta," Rosalina said. Everyone busted out in laughter.
"Wait a second, you seriously asked out Cackletta!? What, did you like the way she 'took over' your body in Superstar Saga?" Boshi cackled.
"GRRRRRRRRRR! IT WAS JUST A MISUNDERSTANDING! Whatever, all you shut the hell up or else I'll get Kammy Koopa in here and turn you all into statues!" Bowser threatened and everyone shut their mouths. "Good. Damn good. Let's move on to the poll results. Fifteen people voted this time, so, uh, thanks or whatever. The people with zero votes are Pauline, Jojora, Starlow, Blooper, and Fly Guy."
"ZERO THE HERO!" Fly Guy randomly shouted, brought out a cannon, and shot a bunch of party streamers at the audience, causing them to scream and scatter once again.
"Naturally, I got zero votes once again. Looks like people prefer someone who's actually hot and subtle over someone who is as ugly as an overweight goat," Pauline scowled towards Wendy. The koopa girl gave her the middle finger in response.
"The poll results are so scary! I'm always paranoid that someone will vote for me for whatever kind of reason! I should've brought some anti-anxiety pills with me..." Blooper sighed.
"I can't see why anyone would ever vote for you. You're one of the most generous people here and you don't drink vodka, which is a major plus!" Starlow complimented. Blooper blushed and giggled a bit.
"Oh my! How could I have received a vote? I thought the audience loved me! I thought people wanted to see me come back to the stage and star in the upcoming play 'I Know What You Did Last Winter'?" Flurrie questioned.
"Settle down you self-obsessed fatty, you only got one vote. The other people who had two votes and are safe is Goombario, Waluigi, and Luvbi," Bowser said.
"Damnit! I really wanted the stick man to get out already! His mustache is weird beyond belief!" Goombario yelled.
"Oh my god, I was just thinking the same thing about you! We have so much in common except for the fact that I'm not a know-it-all piece of crap!" Waluigi half-joked.
"Now we are down to the final two, Ms. Mowz and Wendy. One of you got 3 votes and the other got 5 votes," Rosalina said.
"Sayonara Wendy! You can only dodge so many bullets before you end up getting shot in the head!" Jojora laughed.
"I can't go yet! I haven't even found my sack of stolen stuff that was recently stolen! Has anybody here seen it!? It's huge and white, like the Marshmallow Man from the Ghostbusters movie!" Ms. Mowz frantically called out but no one responded.
"And the person with 5 votes and leaving is...Wendy Koopa. I'm sorry, but you must leave right now," Rosalina said.
"WHAT!? OH COME ON! DAD, DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS! I DON'T WANNA GO!" Wendy wailed.
Bowser shook his head. "I hate playing fair, but rules are rules kiddo. Sorry. You'll get over it."
Wendy clenched her fists and growled incredibly loud. "GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (BLEEP) YOU PAULINE, YOU (BLEEP)ING (BLEEP) (BLEEP) (BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP)! YOU CAN GO KISS MY (BLEEP) YOU STUPID (BLEEP)! JOJORA, YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A HUMONGOUS (BLEEP) WHO CAN GO (BLEEP) HERSELF! WALUIGI, YOU ARE A PILE OF (BLEEP) AND I HOPE YOU (BLEEP)ING STARVE YOURSELF! EVERYONE ELSE CAN GO SHOVE A BROOM UP THEIR (BLEEP) BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF (BLEEP) (BLEEP)!" She then stormed out of there. Everyone's jaw was dropped and their eyes were wide in surprise.
Team Obnoxious - Girls' Hotel Room
"DING DONG! THE WITCH IS DEAD!" Pauline loudly cheered as she skipped on into the room.
"Yep, and now there's only one more witch to get rid of!" Jojora smirked.
"And who is this other witch that you speak of?" Pauline crossed her arms.
"Don't act stupid with me! Just because you may not be as 'vicious' as that loser was, doesn't mean you aren't a threat! As far as I'm concerned, you're the one who is the next to leave. Your beauty can only blind the viewers for so long!" Jojora pointed out.
"Listen here sweetie, stop trying to act like you're the dominant force here now that Wendy is gone. I could cream you so bad that you would never want to show your face in public again," Pauline sneered.
"Oh look, more drama is heating up. Both of you are wealthy, correct? Don't you have anything better to do like flaunting your expensive clothes and shiny cars on Facebook?" Luvbi asked.
"I don't think you realize how much of an idiot you're sounding right now. Please, screw off, no one wants to hear about how daddy bought your 2014 Toyota SUV and your 64GB iPad," Pauline huffed.
"At least the good dearie didn't have to go through so much trouble to steal someone's lip gloss! What's the matter Pauline, are you simply too lazy to buy some of your own?" Flurrie interrupted.
"I TOLD YOU, I DIDN'T STEAL A GODDAMN THING! And how do you know it wasn't Luvbi who stole it anyways!? Those are big words coming from someone who slept with the director of 'Homicidal Party' in order to get one of the main roles!" Pauline spat.
"HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF SUCH TOMFOOLERY!? NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I BEEN SO ANGERED BY SOME LITTLE ONE DOLLAR HOOKER!" Flurrie raised her voice.
"You're not the only one who's angry! I've been going crazy wondering who the hell stole my stolen stuff! It was probably the rich bitch over there, she's desperate for more money so she stole everyone's stuff and is going to sell it off!" Ms. Mowz angrily pointed.
"WHAAAAAAT!? What would be the logic in me stealing all that junk when, one, it probably isn't worth anything, and two, I would have no use for any of it!" Luvbi shrieked.
"EVERYONE BETTER SHUT THE HELL UP IN THE NEXT TWO SECONDS OR ELSE I'M GONNA START THROWING RANDOM (BLEEP) ALL OVER THE PLACE!" Jojora shrilled.
"Please, stop this madness! We can't go against each other like this, it's going to cost us our next wins! We need to pull it together for the sake of making it as far as possible!" Starlow cried.
"NO! These bitches wanna fight? THEN I'LL GIVE THEM ONE!" Pauline roared and threw a chair at Flurrie then lunged at Jojora. Ms. Mowz bitchslapped Luvbi then Luvbi tugged hard on Ms. Mowz's tail and shoved her to the floor. Flurrie joined in the Pauline and Jojora fight and soon, the entire room became a dust cloud as a bunch of screaming and things being smashed were heard. Starlow ran for her life out of there.
Team Obnoxious - Boys Hotel Room
"Can you stop looking at me like you're in love with me?" Waluigi growled towards Goombario as he gulped down a can of Chuckola Cola.
"There is something seriously wrong with you if you think my 'scowl' look is the same as my 'lost in love' look. Get over yourself you freak!" Goombario spat.
"Enough arguing! Shouting gives me a headache and if I get a headache, then that means I have to take Ibuprofen, and if I take Ibuprofen, then I end up vomiting because I always get that side effect for no reason whatsoever," Blooper sighed.
"Blame the midget over there! He always instigates something then tries to look innocent afterwards! In fact, the only reason why he's made it so far is because he's a GOOMBA!" Waluigi accused. The other two gasped.
"Was that...um...a racist statement you just made right there?" Blooper gulped.
"YOU LITTLE (BLEEP)! YOU REALLY WANNA GO AND CALL ME OUT ON MY (BLEEP)ING RACE AND USE IT AS AN EXCUSE TO EXPLAIN WHY I'M STILL HERE!? (BLEEP) YOU! YOU ARE THE SCUM OF THIS ENTIRE PLANET!" Goombario screamed as his face turned red.
Fly Guy flew into the room. "Hey guys! Did I miss anything important while I was gone?"
"Yes you did actually! Waluigi just confirmed to us that he's a racist!" Goombario cried.
"Don't listen to him. I was just trying to under his skin and obviously it's working," Waluigi shook his head.
"Sounds intriguing, but in more important news, I unfortunately have not found your 3DS yet, Blooper. I have checked the dumpster, the back room, the lounge, some random women's purse which I got smacked for, the stage, my own suitcase, my backup suitcase, Waluigi's suitcase, Goombario's suitcase, and the refrigerator but I refuse to give up this very important mission!" Fly Guy proudly yelled and flew back out.
"Wait a second...did he seriously just say that he checked our bags? When the hell did this happen?" Waluigi asked with a freaked out look.
Team Idiot - Girls' Hotel Room
"Hey Dixie, I just have a little question to ask you...what exactly is the point of this alliance we have?" Toadette asked.
"What do you mean what is the point of our alliance?" Dixie responded.
"I mean, like, there's not much point in having an alliance when the viewers are the ones who are voting all of us out. Plus, we really haven't done anything at all that's considered alliance worthy..." Toadette shrugged.
Dixie sighed. "I just don't know. I was hoping having an alliance would give us control and take us far, but it looks like that won't be happening. I seriously hate Survivor-like games."
"You know what I hate? People! Why are people so mean to me!? It's not like I'm a rapist or Justin Bieber for crying out loud! Was I cursed at some point in my life to live in a never-ending state of doom!?" Lakilulu cried.
"Why do you always complain about everything so damn much? Can't you go at least one hour without opening your mouth?" Birdo groaned.
"Ha! She probably can't even go one minute!" Sushie laughed.
"Wait, who are we talking about again? I wanna join in this insult-fest!" Watt cheered.
"SHUT THE (BLEEP) UP! ALL OF YOU!" Lakilulu exploded. The other girls dropped their jaws. "That is it, I've had it! I am no longer taking any more crap from the likes of you bitches! From now on, if you're gonna mess with me, then prepare to end up in a body bag!"
"OH MY GOD! MURDERER!" Watt screeched and zapped Lakilulu, knocking her out cold.
"...So anyways, who's up for some cheese puffs!?" Sushie asked while holding up the bag.
Team Idiot - Boys' Hotel Room
"Alright, who wants to go get wasted with me!?" Boshi asked while bringing out a couple beer bottles from his bag.
"YUCK! I'll pass. Beer tastes like wet sand to me," Petey gagged.
"And how would you know what wet sand tastes like?" Boshi raised a brow.
"I was at the beach last summer and I was getting really bored so I scooped up some wet sand and ate it," Petey admitted. Boshi and Wiggler had grossed out looks while Kooper made no expression, like he usually does with everything else.
"That's just...I don't even know how I'm suppose to respond to that. And no, I refuse to have any beer! Last time I was drunk, I somehow ended up blowing up my bathroom with a TNT box that I got from who knows where," Wiggler said.
"Fine. How about you Kooper? Fancy a drink?" Boshi asked.
"No thank you. I am content with not having anything bad end up in my system which is why I don't smoke, do drugs, or eat anything that's considered unhealthy," Kooper boringly responded.
"Oh come on! It won't hurt to liven up your personality with just a little alcohol! I'm sure it would do you wonders!" Boshi snickered and shoved a beer bottle into his mouth. Kooper squealed as the beer ran down his throat.
"I have a feeling this isn't going to end well..." Wiggler gulped.
"WHY IS THIS BANANA GREEN!? I SPECIFICALLY ASKED FOR A YELLOW BANANA AND YOU GET ME A GREEN ONE!? WHAT THE FUDGE IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" Bowser roared at an intern.
"I'm s-s-s-s-s-s-so sorry, B-B-B-B-Bowser! But, all the bananas w-w-w-we have back there are f-f-f-f-fresh from the m-m-market! Plus, the color is technically yellow-green..." The Toad nervously replied.
"Are you trying be smart with me you little (BLEEP)!? You're lucky that this show is monitored at all times otherwise I would've burnt you to a crisp by now! Now go and find me a YELLOW banana this time otherwise those teeth you have in your mouth will be gone before you know it!" Bowser threatened. The intern cried then ran away.
"Why must you be so unnecessarily cruel, Bowser? Is it because your parents always yelled at you when you were a child so now you're releasing all that frustration onto everyone else?" Rosalina asked.
"HEY! My past is none of your business, blondie! Go back to Planet Uranus or whatever the hell it is you came from already!" Bowser scoffed.
"I can't do that since I have to host the show with you. Would it kill you to tone it down a little before Mario and Luigi come back at least?" Rosalina sighed.
"Yes, it would kill me actually. Kindness is weakness! Always remember that!" Bowser finished and went out onto the stage with Rosalina. "Yes, hello there you freaks! Welcome back to Loser Party Deluxe...I mean, MARIO Party Deluxe! Let's bring back the two teams on here!"
Team Obnoxious and Team Idiot walked onto the stage one by one as the crowd cheered for them.
"Hmm, what is this? I am sensing some high tensions over here on Obnoxious. Is everything okay with you guys?" Rosalina asked.
"NO! I (BLEEP)ING HATE THIS TEAM!" Jojora screamed in response. The audience gasped.
"That pretty much sums up the rest of our teammates feelings on this matter!" Fly Guy said.
"Bwahahahaha! That's right, fight till you can't fight no more! Drama is what makes the world go round, and it's the only reason why this crappy show is still on the air!" Bowser laughed.
"Heeeeeeyyyyyy everyone! Did you guys know that I *hiccup* totally use to take steroids when I was in high schooooool? Yeah I got tired of *hiccup* being a scrawny little nerd so I stole them from this bodybuilder and got ripped in a matter of weeks! HA HA HEE HEE HA HA HO!" Kooper laughed in a very disturbing way.
"Uhh...since when did the king of boring people over there become an extrovert?" Birdo asked.
"Probably around the same time you became extremely attractive," Boshi winked. Birdo cringed at him in disgust.
"As much as I love this heated insanity, we unfortunately have to get on to the mini-game. The category this time is from Mario Party 6 AKA the worst Mario Party game ever made, but that really isn't saying much since the series itself is pretty terrible," Bowser criticized.
"Bowser, you think everything that has to do with Mario is terrible," Rosalina rolled her eyes.
"I'm not seeing the point here," Bowser responded with a blank stare.
The iconic drum roll sound was heard and then the name BLOOPER SCOOPER was shown on the back screen.
"This is the game you'll be playing! Here are the rules, 1. You must swim away as best as you can from the giant blooper. You will also be in a whirlpool while this happens so escaping will be harder. Get too close to the Blooper and you're out. 2. There will be obstacles in the way of your escape so avoid them at all costs...and I believe that is it! Good luck to you all!" Rosalina said and pulled the same rope like before and everyone fell down into the abyss that somehow transported them onto a boat in the middle of the ocean.
"Woah! Hey look you guys we're on the sea! Who wants to go fishing? We'll use the Toad girl over there as bait!" Fly Guy asked.
"Eeeeek! Don't you dare even touch me!" Toadette screamed.
"Uhh is it me or is this boat starting to shake?" Sushie asked.
"It looks like it's stuck in a whirlpool...which means..." Wiggler gasped.
An enormous Blooper quickly rose from the waters and smashed the boat into two large pieces, sending everyone else into the air and then into the waters.
"START!" Yelled the female announcer.
"Woooooaaaahhhh, that was so much fun, let's do it again!" Petey cheered.
"Hey wait a second, how can Blooper be right there when there's already a blooper competing in the game?" Watt questioned.
"Watt, there are many Bloopers out there in the world! And this one definitely doesn't look as friendly as I do!" Blooper cried.
"Heeeeeyyy! Does anyone mind if I use the bathroom right now? I mean, we're in the ocean so it's like *hiccup* not gonna bother the animals, right? RIGHT? IS THAT A YESSSSSSSS?" Kooper annoyingly asked.
"Ew Kooper! That is so gross! Just wait till we're done with the game!" Birdo yelled in disgust.
"Err...too late for that..." Kooper giggled. Everyone else had grossed out expressions.
"EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP AND START SWIMMING LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SWUM BEFORE!" Ms. Mowz screeched.
"Actually, the correct word you're looking for is 'swam' since 'swum' is used incorrectly in that sentence," Goombario corrected.
"SHUT UP GOOMBARIO!" Everyone else yelled.
"Heeeeeelp! I can't swim well! Don't let me die by the hands of this monster!" Wiggler cried.
"I'm sorry Wiggler but you're gonna have to go into psycho killer mode again in order to survive!" Toadette said.
"Ooh, ooh! I just know the thing to do it!" Watt called out. She grabbed one of the floating boxes and threw it towards Wiggler...which ended up hitting Boshi instead and the big blooper grabbed him and pulled him under.
"Way to go, airhead! Let me show you how it's done!" Sushie yelled, grabbed another box, and threw it towards Wiggler...and ended up hitting Birdo which also sent her under.
"Okay you two completely suck at aiming! Just stop it before our whole team is gone because of you!" Dixie yelled.
"UGH! This dress of mine is totally weighing me down! Why couldn't the hosts let us dress in bathing suits and bikinis for stuff like this? Wouldn't that make more sense?" Pauline complained.
"I agree! I certainly wouldn't mind seeing you in a bikini!" Waluigi snickered.
"You are so gross! I wish you would just...AHHHHHH!" Pauline was too slow to swim any further so the blooper grabbed her and pulled her down.
"Wish I would just what? WHAT!? I NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU WERE GONNA SAY!" Waluigi panicked and sacrificed himself to the blooper.
"What an idiot! Is it really that hard to focus on the challenge instead of other people?" Jojora asked.
"Hey Blooper, after this, do you wanna go to the rooftop and check out the view? Apparently you can see all of Mushroom City from up there!" Starlow asked not paying attention to her swimming.
"Oh! S-s-sure, that sounds like plenty of fun!" Blooper blushed.
Jojora gave a blank stare. "I rest my case."
"This is a very stressful situation but I must remain positive! Um, let's see, what's positive about swimming in a whirlpool and being at risk of getting 'killed' by an evil Blooper? Well...er...the water is quite warm so it's quite comfortable to be in it and...um...wow, this is a lot harder than I thought! I GIVE UP! I DON'T WANNA BE POSITIVE ANYMORE!" Lakilulu cried.
"PLEASE HELP ME! I DON'T WANNA SINK TO THE DEPTHS OF THE OCEAN AND HAVE SALT WATER FILL MY LUNGS!" Wiggler screeched as he grabbed on to Lakilulu's legs for dear life.
"AH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? LET GO OF ME THIS INSTANT! SOMEONE HELP, I'M BEING ASSAULTED!" Lakilulu screamed and the two eventually got pulled under by the blooper.
"Dearie me, this is certainly messing up my hair! Oh my, and my necklace seems to have disappeared! I refuse to be seen without my precious!" Flurrie shrieked and went under to find it, eliminating herself.
"You have gotta be kidding me! You know what? I give up! This team is so pointless now and everyone here is so far below me that it isn't even worth my time to interact with you middle classers! PEACE!" Luvbi yelled in frustration and let herself get caught by the blooper.
"WHAT? NOOOOOOO! I REFUSE TO LOSE AGAIN!" Jojora cried and swam even harder.
"Hey Blooper, do you think you can tell your friend to stop trying to murder us? Since you're one of his kind, he'll probably obey your demands!" Petey suggested.
"I don't think it's gonna work like that! He seems too evil to take orders from anybody! I never thought I'd be so scared of my own species before!" Blooper said.
"Well if no one's gonna do anything about it, then I will! HERE I COME I AM CINNAMON!" Fly Guy shouted and flew onto the big blooper.
"Fly Guy stop what you're doing right now! You're gonna ruin everything!" Ms. Mowz yelled.
"HEY WAIT A SECOND, HE'S CHEATING! DISQUALIFICATION, DISQUALIFICATION!" Sushie yelled.
"Thank god I always carry around some pepper with me! Pepper makes any food tastes good, including non-edibles!" Fly Guy cheered and sprinkled pepper into the big blooper's eyes. The blooper then screeched and flailed its tentacles all over the place, making an even bigger whirlpool. The remaining contestants screamed for their lives as one by one they all got sucked into the middle and went under, except for a remaining few who managed to outswim the chaos.
"WAIT NOOOOOOOO! TOSS ME THAT PEPPER BEFORE I DROWN! IF I DON'T MAKE IT OUT ALIVE, AT LEAST I'LL BE ABLE TO STEAL ONE LAST THING AND NOT FEEL SO INCOMPLETE!" Ms. Mowz wailed but it was too late since she was the last one to drown.
"FINISH!"
"Hallelujah! Team Obnoxious takes another victory! Can I get a 'WOOT WOOT' over here?" Fly Guy hollered.
"Uhh WRONG! Our team has three people left, while yours has two. We win again!" Dixie corrected.
"WOOT WOOT!" Sushie laughed.
"My swimming skills are superior! I can't understand why everytime I wanted to try out for the summer olympics in swimming, all the judges would run off like they saw a monster!" Petey rejoiced.
"GAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! THIS IS ALL YOUR (BLEEP)ING FAULT FLY GUY YOU STUPID (BLEEP)!" Jojora raged.
Everyone was magically transported back to the stage.
"I demand a re-do! The psycho over there screwed the entire mini-game up!" Goombario yelled.
"Bwahahaha! If anything, he made the game more interesting! And besides, where was it in the rules that you could fly out of the water or mess with the blooper?" Bowser smirked.
Everyone else couldn't respond, knowing that Bowser was technically right about that.
"So it looks like Team Idiot has won for the third time now! Congratulations you guys! Now viewers, you know what to do. Vote for someone on Team Obnoxious and we'll see you next time!" Rosalina waved but was immediately shoved away by Jojora.
"EVERYONE, VOTE FOR FLY GUY! WE CAN'T HAVE A NUTJOB LIKE HIM ON OUR TEAM!" She yelled.
EOC.
