Special Disclaimer: Every chapter from chapter 1 to chapter 8 was written prior to 6/19/08. Therefore, they were written before Breaking Dawn was published and the Shield in my story was actually an original. Unfortunately, the characters and such do belong to Stephanie Meyer.

Author's Note: Sorry this took so long! Please enjoy (and review afterwards)!


Bella's P.O.V.

"Bella – I love you."

His words kept replaying in my head, like a mantra. I didn't know what to believe. How could he love me when he'd been gone for so long?

I drifted thoughtlessly over to a fallen log and sat down. I didn't trust my legs to keep me standing.

I was so confused. What was a lie – his love or his repulsion? Was Edward toying with me – now and then? Or could it be that there had been some hidden motive that caused him to make his hurtful decision to leave? Did he actually love me?

And, even if he did, would he hold it against me that I had used my Shield to push him away? I trembled to think that I might have driven him off in a way that wasn't just physical.

There was only one bit of knowledge that helped me withstand the storm of my tangled thoughts. For – despite all of the pain that he'd put me through – my love for Edward still remained with the same intensity it'd had when I had first met him.

Still, the indecision was tearing at me. I wanted to follow Edward more than anything, but could I? Would I be able to trust anyone after being betrayed so many times? After all, the Cullens aren't the only ones responsible for my broken heart. . .

Flashback:

The forest-lined highway looked unusually bright as I drove down to La Push. Sunlight streamed through the trees, giving the cement an alien glow.

As I looked down the road, a shimmering object caught my attention. I leaned forward, trying to see what it was. For some reason, I felt anxious – a mixture of hope and dread forming a knot in my chest.

Suddenly, a painful image began fighting its way to the forefront of my mind. Desperately, I tried to repress it, pushing against the doorway that held my unbearable memories at bay. I could feel the hole in my chest – just waiting to tear me apart – and I struggled even more urgently.

Then, just when I thought I'd sealed it away, the image burst free, and I was instantly overwhelmed. The memory of him in the meadow flooded my vision, making it difficult to focus on the road. He was right in front of me, his skin sparkling in the sunlight, his smile dazzling.

Frantically, I reached for the radio, needing something to distract me as the pain shot through my body in waves.

Only – it wasn't there.

Another memory – this time of me, tearing at the radio with my fingernails, desperate to remove any reminder of them – sent me crashing into a wave of despair.

I began to hyperventilate, my breath coming in fast, panicked rasps. It was too much – too much to bear. The road became insignificant as I fought to escape the pain. Tears streaked down my cheeks, clouding my vision – I could no longer see where I was going. I knew that what I was doing was dangerous, but I couldn't make myself seem to care – how could the pain possibly get worse? What did it matter if something happened to me –? Suddenly, I froze as a voice pierced my thoughts.

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid."

His words rang with perfect clarity, shocking me into focus.

Taking advantage of my temporary control, I quickly pulled my truck to the side of the road and set it into park, taking the keys out of the ignition. I leaned my head back against the headrest, panting heavily. I just couldn't seem to pull in enough oxygen. It was as if there was a giant force pressing on my lungs from all sides, not allowing them to fill completely.

I looked out the window when I heard the sound of an approaching car. As it passed, I saw the curious face of a young boy gazing back at me. I wondered what I looked like to him.

Then, it dawned on me that the boy was most likely from Forks – which would mean that Charlie would find out. More than anything, I want him to believe that I was recovering, even though I know that a full recovery is impossible.

I looked ahead along the tree line and saw a break in the trees that was big enough to fit my truck. I estimated that I would be able to get it far enough in that it would be mostly out of sight.

Trembling, I put the keys in the ignition and drove forwards, turning into the gap and pulling as far up as the trees would allow. Once the truck was in park, my arms immediately came up to wrap themselves around my chest. The memories were flooding back and my head spun in agony.

Fumbling, I grabbed the door handle and slid out of the truck. I landed on my backside with a muffled thump, but quickly scrambled up and stumbled through the trees, tears streaming down my cheeks.

I needed a distraction – something, anything. I just wasn't strong enough to wait out the pain.

Branches scraped at my skin as I ran. Roots and divots in the ground caused me to trip often, but I always got up and pressed onwards. My heart was pounding and my breathing quickly became labored, but I didn't slow.

I continued to run, my pace frantic and unsteady. My hands were scraped and my knees were bloody from all of the times I had fallen. Time seemed to slow down, but the forest gradually began to darken as the sun moved westward through the sky.

My body was tiring; I was stumbling more frequently and it was getting harder and harder to get up again. Unwillingly, I started to slow as a strange sensation began to consume me; a numbness that devoured my body.

My legs began to feel as though they were made of lead and it soon became impossible to continue running. I was forced to walk until; finally, I dropped to my knees and fell down on my stomach.

As I lay there, the numbness began to spread from my body into my mind. The pain and sadness began to fade to nothing. I couldn't feel – I couldn't think.

Time continued to pass, but I hardly noticed. Gradually, my strength returned, but I was relieved when the pain didn't. I realized that I'd ended up in the middle of a clearing. As I became more aware of my surroundings, it dawned on me that Jacob was bound to be worrying about my delay to La Push. If he finds out that I went missing, then it won't be long before he gathers the pack to find me. I didn't know if it would be better or worse if I waited for the werewolves to come. After all, Jacob was bound to be angry that I ran off by myself.

As if on cue, I heard the softest whisper of sound as someone walking towards me. I struggled to sit upright, and then froze as I saw the outline. It was a woman with long, bushy hair; not one of the guys and definitely not Leah. I was surprised, I hadn't thought that I was anywhere near any trails where people could find me.

"What a pleasant surprise! Just the person I was looking for!" the woman's voice chimed unexpectedly. My spine became stiff and ridged as my heart surged with pain. Her beautiful voice was only comparable to a vampire's; it was obvious that she wasn't human like me. But this woman's voice was unfamiliar, so I didn't see how she could recognize me.

The female vampire must have seen my confusion as she said, "I suppose you haven't heard me speak before, but I'm sure you'll recognize me." And, with that, she stepped out of the shadows.

My heart seemed to stop. I could feel my jaw open and shut as I gaped like a fish. The red hair, the cat-like stance, the viscous expression;

Victoria.

"See, I told you that you would remember me," she simpered, her eyes excited and filled with malice.


Sorry about not updating in a while. I was busy and admittedly had writer's block. Please, please, please review! I worked really hard to finish up this chapter and hopefully the next chapter (which is a continuation of this chapter) will come sooner.