There's that moment before you wake up when you're not sure if you're still dreaming or not. It's a hazy, confusing time when something outrageous can seem so completely normal. When fantasy feels real, just for that brief moment.
He thinks that's what this is.
Dean is in Castiel's arms, feeling his angel pressed against his back, his chest moving with each slow, steady breath. His thighs, in line with his, knees resting against the back of Dean's, and that warm breath making the nape of Dean's neck moist.
He's safe, enveloped in his Castiel's embrace and he doesn't want to open his eyes, fearing it's a dream. But he's not sure if the reality of it not being one is even more frightening.
Castiel stirs, keeping his place pressed against Dean. He feels a sudden thrust against his ass and - holy shit- Castiel is hard. He's moving his goddamn erection on Dean and the confused hunter has no idea what to do. He's very aware that this isn't a dream, now. He's pretty sure Castiel is half asleep and to take advantage of this situation would be really fucking bad. Really bad.
But of course Dean's rock hard now, throbbing actually. It's intoxicating, having Castiel this close. His heat, his energy, his damn boner. Dean gasps when he feels Castiel's soft lips lightly kissing the back of his neck.
Holy shit, is this really happening? Is this gonna happen? Are we fucking ready for this? We haven't even kissed and... am I a chick now? Jesus fucking Christ.
But he wants that first kiss, as corny as it sounds. This is Castiel, not just some random person who he needs to fuck quickly and leave. This is the angel that pulled him out of Hell, rebelled for him, who stuck by his side no matter what. Who'd even hang around Dean just to talk, or watch the stars. Who'd smile at him every once in awhile. That smile that did so many things to Dean and he hasn't even started to process what it is.
Those blue eyes that stare at him, into him, invading his soul, and that's okay. It's Castiel and he doesn't mind his intensity. Sure, it was weird at first and maybe even a little uncomfortable, but once Dean understood the angel more, he started to look forward to those moments; times when they'd either be alone, or talking about something that demanded his utmost attention, and Castiel would just look at him and Dean would forget his own name.
Dean tries to breath. He knows his heart is racing but what should he do? He wants to roll over, take Castiel's head in his hands and kiss him, grind against him, rip his goddamn clothes off.
But then suddenly Castiel stops moving and then the warmth is gone from his neck. The strong arm that's around Dean is slowly sliding off of him.
"Dean…"
Castiel must have woken up in shock, and now Dean's going to play it cool like he was sleeping. He yawns, and lifts his head. "Yeah?"
He hears Castiel cough, the bed bouncing when he gets up. Dean looks over at him, and he's frazzled, picking up clothes off the floor. Dean wants to laugh but holds it in. He turns and sits up, bringing his knees into his chest, resting his arms on them.
"You, okay there?"
Castiel is holding his discarded pants against his groin and man, he must be so embarrassed. Dean starts to feel bad for the guy.
"Y-yes, I just… I think I need a shower."
Before Dean could tell him that it's okay. Stuff happens, biology and shit, he's not freaked out (okay that's a lie), and they can't control what their bodies are doing in their sleep, Castiel is already in the bathroom.
Dean's head is spinning. Clearly Castiel was half asleep, but damn that was so hot, Dean isn't even sure he'd be able to get rid of his own erection. Jerking off seems kind of weird; being on a do or die mission here, but he also knows he can't go the entire day with the memory of what just happened without finding some kind of release.
He's next in the shower, and that's that. So he waits patiently on the bed, scanning the maps again, hoping to distract him from the tingling feeling on his back that doesn't seem to be going away.
Focus Dean. Mission. Maps. Portals.
He sighs at how much land they'll have to cover. This is by no means a small trek, and he's not loving the idea that there are Croats even outside the walls of the camp. Seeing it all again, the infected people, this camp, is kind of surreal. Last time he was here, the circumstances were so different, and for Dean, that was six years ago. For this place, these people, it's only been a year.
Finally Castiel emerges from his really long shower. What the hell was he doing in there. Oh . Dean can't hide the excitement that's now growing in his pants at imagining his angel jerking off in the shower. Wait, does he even do that?
He was hard, Dean fucking felt that, but does Castiel even do anything about it? He laughs quietly at the ridiculous questions that are on his mind at the crack of dawn.
He doesn't wait for Castiel to be awkward around him so he makes a beeline for the shower. He soaps up and there's no denying that he's going to have to rub one out. He's cock is throbbing so badly now, reacting to Castiel's essence that he left behind. Dean's not even sure if that's a thing, but fuck it, it's happening. He's stroking himself, his soapy fingers wrapped around his length, and hissing at the feeling, his head back, leaning against the tile.
He's imagining Castiel taking care of himself, the way his eyes squint shut, like when he's eating something delicious for the first time, and how his lips part slightly while he lets out a low but damn erotic moan. Sometimes it's this deep throat growl that has no problem arousing Dean.
God, what he'd love to show Castiel, the things he'd do to him and let be done to him, they would be in bed for weeks. But right now, he wants his angel in the shower with him, coming up from behind and reaching around to take him in his hand. He wants him to jerk him, slowly at first, then faster, and… yeah, just like that.
He wants to see his pink swollen head move in and out of his friend's fist, easily, sliding so perfectly. He wants Castiel to make him come. Come so hard.
Dean looks down watching himself squirt all over the tiles and he lets out an overly enthusiastic moan. Fuck, I didn't mean to do that . He splashes some water, removing any evidence of his past time and turns the shower off. He remains still, listening for Castiel, praying he's not anywhere near the bathroom.
Stepping out, he wraps himself in the towel and grabs his clothes, before heading out to the bedroom. Castiel is on the other side of the cabin, staring out the window. Okay good. He couldn't have heard Dean and his very loud, very vocal orgasm in the shower then.
Castiel turns around and his face does something that Dean can't quite interpet. Is he mad? Annoyed? What the fuck is that look, Cas?
"Dean, we need to talk."
Dean stands still, hands on hips and says, "Okay. Shoot."
Castiel looks away, shyly. "Get dressed, first."
"O-kaaay."
Dean finds a fresh pair of clothes the other Cas had laid out for him, belonging to the previous Dean Winchester but not too far from what Dean wears normally, anyway. Jeans, t shirt, flannel, which he may not even need because he can already feel the summer heat from outside. He sits on the bed, starting on his shoes when Castiel finally turns to him.
Panic? Is that panic?
"We- this morning, I-I didn't mean to…"
Dean tries to keep a poker face on, but it's so hard because Castiel looks just too damn adorable. "This morning what?"
He's not trying to be a dick, pretending he has no idea what Castiel is talking about, he's only trying to make him less freaked out, not as uncomfortable.
"I was, well, I wasn't aware what I was doing, and-"
"Hey, guys," a voice calls from the open window. Dean turns to see Chuck there, smiling brightly. "Cas has coffee and breakfast ready, he wants you two to come over."
Dean and Castiel share a look before Dean rises from the bed. "Sounds perfect."
He grins at Castiel silently telling him that all is okay, let's fucking eat. He's partly happy for the distraction, because he's not even sure he wants to talk to him about what happened. Life is so much easier when words don't fuck it up.
They follow Chuck to the other cabin and Dean can already smell the bacon. He has to wonder if this lifestyle isn't actually that bad. Good food, own space, in nature… aside from the ongoing problem of Croats and oh yeah, Lucifer, this seems pretty damn sweet.
"Hi, you two. Sleep well?" Cas grins at them, slyly.
Castiel nods, nervously as he takes his seat, and Dean sits in the chair beside him. Cas brings over the skillet where he had the eggs warming and scrapes some onto their plates. A small dish with bacon and toast is sitting in the middle of the table and Dean doesn't hesitate to grab some.
"Cas, this is awesome. Thanks," Dean says, already shoving a piece of bacon in his mouth.
"Our last run was in a town north of the city and they had freezers full of meat and bread. It was like finding the holy grail." Chuck informs them, making himself a plate as well. "We have enough generators here to power up our own freezers so most of our food lasts for months."
Castiel takes a bite of his bacon and Dean has to watch for his reaction, just 'cause (to file away for his evening shower) and this is the best one yet. Dean stops chewing his own food just to take in his angel practically orgasming.
Dean feels eyes on him. He turns to see Cas - Hippy Cas, looking at him, smiling.
"So, you both take a look at the maps last night?" Cas asks, winking at Dean.
Dean blushes, taking a sip of his coffee, and it's just how he likes it. Black, with sugar. "Yeah, it's a hell of a space to cover, but Cas pointed out a small road we might be able to use with the jeeps. It's south."
"You mean that brown line in the middle of the southern maps? Yeah, that's not a road," Chuck says, and Castiel and Dean turn to him. "Well, it was a road, once. Now it's kind of underwater. Too high even for the jeep."
"We should split up," Dean says, avoiding Castiel's glare.
"I said no, Dean, it's too dangerous." Castiel adds, and Dean finally looks at him, and is taken aback by the red in his cheeks. Oh he's pissed.
"Actually," Cas swallows his food. "That might be a great idea."
Castiel snaps his head and scowls at Cas. Chuck coughs, clearing his throat. "We have walkie talkies, we can keep in communication, so whoever finds it first, we all stop and go there-"
"You mean, split up four ways?" Castiel asks, putting his fork down and by the looks of it, losing his appetite.
Dean's not going to lie, he doesn't like that idea either. As efficient as it may be, he thinks pairing off would be better. Safer.
"Well that," Cas sips his coffee and smirks, "would be suicide. No, we pair off."
Dean looks at Castiel whose shoulders seemed to ease. "Cas?"
Castiel nods. "Okay, fine. How do you want to do this?"
Chuck grabs the maps that Dean had left on the floor next to the table and holds one of them up. "We'll go south, since Cas and I are more familiar with that area. The terrain is, well, unstable, the wet ground has caused sinkholes, really thick mud that is hard to walk through, and of course there's the road that is now a river. You guys take north, it's flatter and the woods aren't as dense."
Castiel and Dean are both looking at the northern map, now that Chuck hands it to them. "It doesn't matter where you go first, left or right," Cas adds.
Dean raises an eyebrow. "And what's the Croat situation?"
Cas looks at Chuck, then he sighs. "It's hit or miss. I mean, we had it under control for a while, but they seem to be coming from somewhere west and we haven't checked it out yet, not until I'm sure we have a big enough team."
They all slump and Dean blows air between his lips. "So, do we even stand a chance?"
"Yes, we're going to be way east from what we believe is their home base, or whatever it is. The ones that came after you, they had been there for days and we were scoping them out, hoping they'd lead us back to their breeding grounds, so to speak."
He pauses. "But they never did, they just wandered the woods, aimlessly. We never saw others join them but that doesn't mean they're not out there. There may be some stragglers but as long as you stay together, it should be fine."
"You mean, you knew they were going to be exactly where we'd spawn?" Dean asks, leaning on his elbow, contemplating grabbing another piece of bacon, and fuck it, he will.
Cas watches him, now grinning. "You're Dean," he turns to Castiel, "and Cas. I knew you two could handle it."
Dean chews. "Thanks for the vote of confidence," he swallows, "so, okay, I'm assuming you have a nice arsonal for us?"
Cas and Chuck both nod. "Yeah, back in Dean's cabin, we've been kinda using it for that."
Dean furrows his brow and looks at Castiel, then back at Chuck. "We didn't see anything."
"Oh, that's because we have it hidden. There's a wall that slides out. One of our guys here, Tim, he's a carpenter and he built a hidden closet. Pretty sweet, if you ask me."
"Yes, so we will make sure the both of you-" Cas notices Castiel stiffen. "You will both be armed, Cas. You're not at full power, you can't take any chances."
Castiel glances briefly at Dean. "Yes, I think that would be wise."
"Good, then it's settled. Chuck will give you guys your walkie talkie, we only a have a few so you can share one, and I think we should start out in the next hour. I have some last minute things to do around the camp, orders to give, and so on."
"Orders?" Dean asks, grinning.
Cas shifts in his seat. "I am the leader of Chitaqua now." He rises and does that stretch thing where his shirt lifts up and Dean looks away, not wanting to seem like he's ogling him, especially with Castiel right next to him.
Castiel and Dean rise, Dean burping from a delicious breakfast. He finishes his coffee before heading toward the door, or beads, in this case. He seems to like to leave his new front door open for those damn beads.
Chuck follows them out and to Dean's cabin. Inside, they watch Chuck move to the far wall, across from the bed and he runs his hands against the wood, sliding it out. It opens to a modest sized walk-in closet filled to the ceiling with weapons.
Dean's jaw drops. "Holy crap."
Chuck turns to them with an extended hand, a gesture for them to help themselves. "We don't play around. Grab what you want. We even have grenades, if you should feel so inclined."
Castiel and Dean step inside and Dean immediately grabs familiar firearms, pistols, a shotgun for close range. He finds a thigh holster and grabs one as well, a couple of knives, and fuck it, a goddamned grenade. There are a few chest holsters as well, he figures he can strap one on, and then he looks at Castiel as he stares, blankly at all the weapons.
"You want me to arm you?" Dean asks.
Castiel nods slowly, still staring, pensively. Dean takes one of the chest holsters and begins to strap it around Castiel. "Good thing you're not wearing your trench," Dean says as his hands move around Castiel to his back.
He realizes how close he is now, his face almost against the angel's and he starts to blush, wondering if Castiel is as well, but he's too wrapped up in anything to even look at him.
He takes the shotgun and slides it in the holster in the back, and then gives Castiel two pistols for his sides. "You want a thigh holster for a few knives? Blades?"
"I have my angel blade, that can come out when need be, but sure, extra can't hurt."
Dean pulls another thigh holster down and drops to his knees and he's suddenly hit with a million butterflies in his stomach. He notices his hands shaking as he pulls the strap around and slides it up Castiel's thigh. He's trying to be quick, but damn, this holster is a little bit trickier than the others.
As he tightens the strap, he does the stupidest thing; he looks up at Castiel, who is staring down at him with this goddamn powerful look in his eyes, and Dean is so mad that he has no idea what it means. His face is flushed, yeah, but that look… What the fuck, Cas?
He watches Castiel swallow, and then Dean looks back down at his hands, desperately trying to hurry the fuck up before he goes full on awkward here. He notices how toned Castiel's muscles are as he flexes under Dean's touch. Dean has to try to calm down his heart that's racing, pounding loudly in his chest.
"Is that tight enough?" Dean asks as he buckles the last strap.
"Y-yes, it's good, thank you, Dean."
Once he's on his feet again, he grabs a few more things from the closet and smiles crookedly at Castiel, then at Chuck, who's handing Castiel the walkie talkie.
"How's it having Cas as your leader?" Dean asks, utterly curious to see any Castiel in that role. It's hot as hell and he imagines his Castiel taking charge like that, giving orders, controlling an entire camp full of twitchy survivors who have probably seen the worst things imaginable since Lucifer took over.
"He was shaky at first, unsure how to actually lead. Most of this camp has, uh, you know… slept with him, so at first they didn't take him seriously."
Dean and Castiel share a look. Chuck continues, "But he stopped all that... stuff and took control. He's great at it. Fair, kind of a dick, but in a good way. He learned a lot from D-Dean when he was alive, you know."
"He seems to have stepped up, good for him," Dean says.
Chuck nods. "It was hard for him, you know. Dean's death was tragic. He-he was depressed for a long time. Cried every night. He was miserable, but he pushed through. He's a trooper. Strong."
They start to head out and for some reason Dean's really interested in hearing more about Cas, post Dean's death. Morbid? Yeah maybe, but he can't deny how moved he is just imagining that his own Castiel feels that strongly for him too.
"He visits Dean's grave every Sunday, puts fresh flowers on it, stays there pretty much all day talking to him. It's bittersweet."
Stepping down from the cabin, Dean glances briefly at Castiel whose face is long and eyebrows arched. "Really? He burned his remains though, right?"
Good to know Castiel has the right idea.
Chuck stops. "Yeah, but he wanted a place to mark his life and death. Somewhere he can go to sit and talk to him. So he made a grave, put his ashes in an urn, salted the ground, and buried it. He crafted a makeshift marker from wood and put Dean's name on it, and all that."
Dean wants to see it. It's really fucking weird but he wants to. "Where is it?"
"Dean." Castiel says, knowing Dean's morbid curiousity is getting the better of him.
"What? I just want to see. What's the big deal?"
Chuck laughs as he waves at Cas who is on the other side of the camp. "I'm sure Cas will take you there before we go. It's also customary for him to talk to Dean before dangerous missions."
Dean thinks about that and fuck, that's really sad but really fucking sweet too. He doesn't look at his Castiel, but he's pretty sure he's thinking the same damn thing.
Would his Castiel do that too? Would he talk to him after he's gone? That day will come eventually. Castiel is immortal, Dean isn't, so his time is gonna come, like it or not. How will his angel move on? What would his missions be? He'll keep fighting, he knows that. But what would Castiel's life actually be without the Winchesters?
"Wow, look at you guys," Cas says, eyeing Dean and Castiel enthusiastically. "You remind me so much of… wow."
Castiel looks down at himself and smirks. He actually smirks. "Dean armed me, I had no idea…"
"Yeah, I figured. Neither did I at first and my Dean would have to do the same." Cas winks at Castiel and he notices him blush.
"Okay, so your jeep is there, you guys will follow us out here on the main road, I wouldn't be too worried about Croats, as I said, the ones that came after you when you arrived were the only ones we've seen in this area but just in case, remain alert."
He looks at Dean. "We're gonna hit a fork in the right, you guys go right and keep going, following the map. The road curves around but straightens out about 10 miles up."
Dean looks down at the map Cas is now holding up, the wind blowing it little too much to get a clear view. "You turn left here then go until the road ends, the rest will be on foot. Then you can choose to go east or west, doesn't matter."
"Alright, and uh, what about supplies? Food and drink?" Dean asks him, realizing this is going to be an all day trip and he's pretty sure a Biggerson's is out of the question.
"Right, each jeep is stocked with coolers and backpacks. You have protein bars, jerky, and water. I also packed some snacks, like chips, cookies, and stuff like that. Will that be enough?" Cas says, looking back and forth between Dean and Castiel.
"Yeah, sure. That's great, thanks Cas."
"Great."
Heading to the jeeps, Cas stops and turns to them. "We need to make one stop first."
They follow Cas around the jeeps and toward an overgrown area on the outskirts of the camp. Dean sees it, the wooden cross, and his stomach flips. He watches Cas take a few flowers from under his vest and place them on the ground, against the grave marker, keeping his head low, and moving his lips. Dean tries to move closer to hear what he's saying, and he and Castiel decide to join him, out of respect, both dropping to their knees beside him.
Cas looks over at them and wipes a tear from his cheek. "I just have this thing I do, if it's okay."
"Yeah, of course," Dean assures him.
Cas turns back to the grave and lowers his head again. He clears his throat. "Dean, we're going to look for those portals, you know, the ones where… he's threatening to come through. I just wanted you to know that I'll be okay. I have Chuck, and guess what, Dean's back, the other Dean. Remember him? He drove you crazy, didn't he?" Cas looks at Dean and smiles.
"He brought his Cas, who I gotta say, is so lucky. He's still an angel, and he's so brave, someone I can really look up to." Castiel smiles at Cas.
"Dean, they're here to help me and I just wanted you to know. I bet you'd be glad about that."
His shoulders slump and Dean notices he's shaking. He doesn't really know what to do, so he reaches out and places a hand on his back, rubbing gingerly, at an attempt to soothe the poor guy. His heart drops when Cas looks at him, his eyes full of tears, his cheeks wet, and then he glances back at the grave.
"I love you, Dean."
Dean's heart skips a beat.
Cas scrubs his face with his hand, removing his tears and rises to his feet. After he composes himself, he turns to Dean. "When I said I loved him the moment I found him in Hell, I meant it." He looks at Castiel. "I've never loved anything or anyone more."
Cas turns and heads back to the jeeps. Dean and Castiel are both speechless, he has no idea what to even say to that. Cas lost the one person he's ever loved, and Dean can't even imagine how that feels. But to know it was him, his counterpart, makes Dean's heart break even more so.
They silently get into their own jeeps and Dean starts her up, awaiting Cas to lead the way.
With a quick glance at Castiel to make sure he's ready, he begins to follow Cas down the road where two people are guarding the gate. They open it for them, and close it as soon as they drive through it.
He hates the silence between them, it fucking annoys him how thick the tension is. So what, it doesn't mean anything to them, right? So, this Cas was in love with Dean, doesn't mean his Castiel is, right? I mean, different fucking dimension.
But he can't help being moved, touched by it and he knows Castiel can feel it too. To hear that his own counterpart was in love with him… Dean … it's probably fucking with him, or grossing him out. Either, or.
He's not saying a damn word though, so fuck it, Dean turns on the radio, only to hear annoying static and cringes.
"Here," Castiel says, handing Dean a cassette tape. Rush's Greatest Hits .
Dean smiles, wide. "Hell yeah!" and inserts it into the tape deck and once the beginning of Tom Sawyer starts, he turns it up and bobs his head, making Castiel flash a crooked smile.
The ride is bumpy as hell but they finally reach that fork and he notices Cas stop his jeep and get out. He comes to the driver's side of Dean's jeep as Dean rolls down the window.
"Hey. So, I just want you guys to make sure you know that there's no guarantee the portals are even in these spots. They are just areas Chuck and I both felt something… weird."
Castiel tilts his head. "Weird?"
"Yeah. Like, off. As if the energy and land didn't quite match up." He raises his eyebrows at Castiel. "You know how you feel the harmony between land masses and the vibrations from it? Well, when you guys get closer, you'll know what I mean, Cas."
Castiel nods, and Dean looks at him and raises his eyebrows. "You can feel vibrations from the earth?"
Cas laughs. "Yes, he can. We can. It's a thing." He pauses to wait for Dean to look at him. "Anyway, even if it's not the tears in dimensions, it's worth checking out anyway."
Dean frowns and slumps back in the driver's seat. "So this might be a big waste of our time, then?"
"What? No. I'm only warning you two that it may not be what we're looking for, but even if it's not, you should investigate it anyway. It could be important."
Dean looks at his Castiel who is giving Dean that look, the "shut up and let's just go" look. "Okay, fine." He turns back to Cas, still standing outside his window. "Friday, Cas. We have until Friday."
He nods. "I know. And trust me, I understand the mission, I do. There's just more going on than just the dreams, Dean. Everything lately has been really weird, including that group of Croats that had been wandering aimlessly in the woods as if they were lost."
"So, what else has been going on? Other than that?"
"We can talk when we return. Even if these locations are indeed the tears, or one tear, there's preparation we need to take to seal it. We have tonight to talk and work that out." He looks at Castiel.
"Yes, it's a complicated," Castiel says, sighing.
Dean rolls his eyes. "Okay, then let's get a move on." He nods at Cas as he gives a salute and heads back to his jeep. Dean watches him turn left and he takes a right turn onto a smoother road that seems to be on a incline.
"He's right, you know." Castiel shifts, slightly in his seat to face Dean. "If there's some kind of shift in the earth's energy at these locations, and they aren't tears, we should most definitely look into it."
Dean sighs. "I get that, but Cas, we're only here for a few days. We don't have time to go on Goonie adventures when we have a goddamn dimension barrier to fix."
Castiel opens his mouth to speak, but pauses and glances out the window. Dean focuses on the road, but is taking quick peeks at him, wondering if he's going to say anything.
Then he inhales, and says, "Yes, you're right but whatever's happening here, it can be happening in our world too. If we can identify it, we'd actually be ahead of the game."
Oh he's right, as usual. "Yeah, okay. Good point."
The rest of the way is smooth until they take that left after the curve and the road becomes a lot more harsh. He drives them until the end and shuts off the jeep, twirling the keys in his fingers. "Ready?"
Castiel nods, and they exit the vehicle, heading to the back. Dean opens it up and he fills their backpacks with the food Cas packed for them. What a guy. Dean grabs three water bottles each, shoving them in each backpack and then closes them up, handing one to Castiel.
"According to the map, we should stay northeast, and oh yeah," Castiel reaches in his pocket, pulling out a compass. "Chuck gave me this."
"Awesome," Dean says, giving Castiel a once over. T-Shirt, this one plain but it looks like it's been washed one too many times, with his chest holster that has two side arms and one shotgun along his back, regular denim jeans, with the thigh holster carrying two blades, and Dean's smitten right now.
When Castiel had asked him if he liked this look better on him, he wasn't lying when he said no. It's not better, it's different, and Dean loves it on him. There's nothing wrong with changing it up and for some reason, Castiel wears this look so goddamn well. No, it's not because he looks more like this Hippy Cas, because he doesn't necessarily, sans the clothes. He looks like his Castiel, just ready to go into battle and it's all levels of hot.
Dean checks his own holsters, making sure the straps are secure, before throwing the backpack over his shoulders. They begin on a trail that's probably not a trail at all, but it's a good start. Dean checks his watch, 9 a.m. and already the heat and humidity is getting to him. He takes off his flannel and wraps it around his waist, and then wipes his brow with his forearm.
"Damn, it's starting to feel like a jungle out here," Dean says, turning back to Castiel who is actually sweating now too. He's suddenly back in Purgatory, and they're trekking through those thick woods, fighting any monster that was dumb enough to try and take them on. He remembers thinking back then that he might not even make it to that damn portal.
Now here they are again, minus one vampire, in search of a goddamned tear in dimensions.
"I think it will rain," Castiel says, catching up to Dean.
"Well that will suck."
They're making good time, the woods open up a bit and the trails are easier to spot, even if they're nature made. After a couple of hours, Dean's hungry as hell and he finds a nice big rock to sit down on and rest his feet. Swinging his backpack around to his lap, he opens it, finding a piece of jerky, tearing open the wrapper, and taking a bite.
Castiel takes his place next to Dean and does the same, except he chooses the protein bar. Dean turns to him, watching him eat that damn thing like it's a filet mignon.
"It's weird, seeing you eat all the time now," Dean tells him.
Castiel swallows and looks at Dean, expressionless. "I rather enjoy it. I miss the taste of food. It's quite different when I'm fully powered up."
"Oh? How so? Dean asks before taking another bite of his jerky and opening up a water bottle, chugging some down. The water is already room temperature, but he doesn't care, it's still refreshing in this heat.
"I guess we can taste everything. All the molecules. Whereas, now, I just taste the combination of sweet, salt, and I think some kind of processed vegetable."
Chuckling, Dean says, "Still more than I taste when eating those things."
Castiel smiles at him. "Dean."
Dean stops chewing and looks at Castiel. His face looks long, worried, and this can't be good. "What's up?"
"About this morning-"
"Look, Cas. It's fine. So we slept a little, uh, close. It's no big deal."
Castiel takes a drink from his water bottle and then eyes Dean, curiously. "You're not possessed are you? You're still Dean Winchester, born January 24th, 1979?"
This makes Dean smile. "Anyone else I would have woken up with like that, they would have gotten a throat punch."
Castiel laughs hard at that, and yeah, there it is, the most amazing sound and sight in the world, and Dean has to look away before really getting too lost in it. "I'm relieved. I didn't want you to be upset, thinking I was trying to take advantage of… well…"
"Yeah, yeah, it's cool. Shit happens."
They share a smile and finish their snacks before taking off again through the woods toward the first mark on the map. Dean wishes he could wipe the smile off of his face, but that conversation was so awkward and funny, it's making him giddy. It's also reminding him of how he felt when he woke up this morning, and yeah, that was a pretty damn good feeling.
He's lived his life as the protector, as the one who always made sure everyone around him felt sheltered and secure. He hasn't really had anyone else give it back to him, not like that, not like Castiel did this morning. Despite the desires, and they were there, he was wrapped in his arms and it's been something he hasn't felt very often.
Safe. Cherished.
With the events of this morning on his mind, they continue on, resting a few times, laying the map out, ensuring they're going in the right direction. Another couple of hours and they see what looks like a small hill of loose rock. Dean looks down at the map, then back up.
"I think that's it."
When he goes to ask Castiel if he feels anything, he sees that he has stopped and he is looking down to the ground. He begins to waver and that's when Dean rushes to his side to catch him before he falls.
"Woah, Cas what's going on?"
Castiel grips Dean's shoulder tightly and shakes his head. "This area, it's… not right. Something is-" He drops to his knees and Dean goes with him, still holding him by the shoulders.
"Cas, talk to me. Hey, look at me."
"It's not supposed to be here." Castiel's head snaps up and he glares at the rock hill. "There, Dean. It's there."
Dean follows his gaze and looks back at Castiel. "What? the tear?"
"I don't… I don't know. We should go there. I need to see it."
Castiel struggles to get to his feet but Dean holds him down. "Oh no you're not. Just catch your breath and pull yourself together first. You look like you're gonna pass out."
"I'm fine, Dean," Castiel says, grimly and pushes Dean off of him as he rises to his feet. Dean stands close, just in case, and watches Castiel walk slowly in the direction of the area that's making him like this.
"Dude, you're walking right into it. Can you just chill for a minute?"
"Keep up," Castiel says, not looking back. "I'm perfectly fine, I was just taken by surprise, is all."
Dean walks right behind him, ready to catch him if he pulls that shit again. He appears to be okay for now, even as they get closer to the area. They have to climb over some fallen rocks to get there, but once they reach it, Castiel stills, resting his hand on a moss covered boulder.
"I see," Castiel says, barely audible and if Dean wasn't standing so close to him, he wouldn't have heard him.
"Wanna share with the class?"
Castiel turns to him, eyes a little wider than usual. "This isn't a tear, this is an actual displacement. This area belongs to another dimension, or used to. Now it belongs here."
Dean raises an eyebrow. "And how in the hell is that possible?"
Castiel's attention is back on the rocks, his hands brushing across them as if he's soothing an animal. "The Darkness is breaking down barriers, and while it would be nearly impossible to combine all dimensions, some parts are being displaced. Permanently."
Dean shakes his head. What? "What's the point of moving pieces of land to another dimension?"
"It's not intentional, I'm pretty sure of that. It must just be the consequences of what the Darkness is doing."
Dean touches the rocks to see if he gets any feeling from it but no, nothing. Nada. So the Darkness is breaking down barriers, sending pieces of land and God knows what else to other dimensions, and this just got a whole lot scarier.
"Cas, what if… people are around, or animals? What if there's some guy sitting there when it happens?"
"He would either be atomized, or he'd survive and be very confused as to where he is. It's possible this has happened already."
"That's just," Dean shakes his head and exhales, dramatically, "fucked up, man. I mean, really."
"I agree," Castiel says with a nod.
Dean reaches for the walkie talkie and clicks the talk button. "Hey guys, you okay?"
He hears a beep and then, "Yes Dean, we're at the spot. It's pretty bizarre, Cas is meditating over it, but he swears it's a land displacement."
After he hears the beep, he clicks the talk button again, "Yeah same here. You think the other two spots are the same?"
"Not sure, but we should definitely check it out," he hears Cas say into the walkie talkie.
"Alright, we're heading to the next spot. We'll check in once we're there."
It takes another two hours to reach the next area and Dean decides before even getting any closer, they need to eat something. This time he opts for the protein bar, and Castiel chooses the jerky. They find a flat area to sit, and he looks up at the sky, glad that the trees are providing much needed shade.
"It's too damn hot."
"Yes." Castiel bites into the jerky with his side teeth and Dean grins. "But there are clouds rolling in as well, as I said, we might be caught in the rain."
Dean looks upward and now notices the dark clouds closing in, and fuck, that's all they need. Then again, the rain might feel really good right about now. It could help the journey be a little more bearable, perhaps. And just like that, a raindrop hits his nose. Then another, and another, and now it's raining lightly down on them.
"Know it all," Dean teases.
Castiel smiles and lifts his head to the sky. "It feels good."
Dean stops mid chew and stares at his angel as the drops hit his eyelids, cheeks, lips, that are parted in a slight smile. Castiel, relishing in the very human feeling of rain hitting his face, and Dean's so absorbed in watching it, he doesn't realize that his water bottle is tipping and pouring into his lap. He jerks when he feels the wetness and grunts.
"Son of a bitch!"
Castiel looks at him and then chuckles. Dean smiles back at him and just like that, nothing matters. The rain, his now soaking wet crotch, the heat, or the fact that there's misplaced land. No, all that matters right now is the fact that he can stare at his angel and appreciate how utterly amazing he is.
And yeah, Dean's a goner.
