A/N at the end


"Come on, pleeease," I practically whined.

"I don't know Bella, it's not on the original schedule. What you're basically asking for is for me to completely rearrange the entire tour. Are you even sure that you guys can even handle more shows?"

"Jake listen, I know it's an inconvenience for you and I'm really sorry about that, but I've got a friend in a band down in San Diego and he said the rock scene there is awesome. I think we really need to play in the places we'll be best received. Just this once Jake, please? If it blows up in my face you never have to listen to me again."

"Fine," he sighed. "I'll see what I can do. It may end up that we just stay along the coast."

"That's so awesome, Jake. You're the best."

"Yeah yeah, I know. You're just lucky I'd do just about anything for you," he laughed but I had a feeling it wasn't a joke.

"Umm… great, so like, is there anything I can do to help you? Or-"

"Nah, I got it. I've got some contacts with a few clubs down there. I'll see what I can set up. You know that means we'll probably have to start a little bit earlier than expected, right?"

My heart flip-flopped in excitement.

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Alright. I'm gonna go now, before you talk me into something else."

"Thanks again, Jake."

"You're welcome, Bella."

Oh. My. God.

Why had I not thought of it sooner? Playing in San Diego was the best possible way to get to Edward and to help the band all in one fell swoop.

I hung up the phone with Jake in a cloud of euphoria, I could barely contain myself. It was like the feeling I had when I knew the label was signing us all over again. I wanted to immediately call Edward and tell him the news, but until I knew it was absolutely going to happen I couldn't risk getting both of our hopes up. But I had to call someone, so I dialed the only person I knew who understood what it was like to feel this giddy about something.

"You rang?" Alice answered her phone.

"I have news!" I practically shouted.

"Oooh, spill!" Alice loved any gossip where she could get it.

"I swear I'm dumb for not thinking of it earlier, but I think I may have talked Jake into scheduling us a show in San Diego."

"So?"

"So, Edward's in San Diego."

"Oh... Oh! Bella, that's a great idea! Did you tell him why you wanted to go there? How'd he take it?"

"Umm… no, not exactly."

"So what did you tell him? He had to have asked, right? I mean, that's totally out of the way from the shows that were already scheduled."

"I know, I know. I just told him that I knew someone in a band down there and that the scene was really good, and that we should play where we'd be best received blah blah blah."

"Clever, Bella, very clever. What did he say?"

"He said I could pretty much talk him into anything."

"Oh god, he's so got it bad for you."

"You think so?"

"Bella please. Like you didn't know that already. That's why you called him about wanting to do this in the first place."

"No it wasn't." I chewed my lip thoughtfully. Was it?

"Maybe you don't remember that night as clearly as I do, but Jasper stopped you from making a huge mistake with Jake behind the club and you're lucky he did. Otherwise you'd all be knee deep in drama. Just be careful with him, don't lead him on to get what you want. That never works out well for anyone."

"You're right, and I won't. I mean, I may have today but I didn't mean to. I'm just desperate, Alice! Can you blame me?"

"Hell no. If I knew that ginormous dick was waiting for me, I'd get there come hell or high water for sure."

"Alice!" I laughed.

"What? I'm just saying you're a lucky girl, that's all. But then again, so am I."

"Oh ew, I don't need to know these things about Jasper. I'm hanging up now."

All I heard was more laughter before the phone went dead.

As much as I appreciated Alice offering me her guest room until we got on the road, the sound of her and Jasper having sex 3 nights in a row drove me to seek refuge at Charlie's, lest I shove sharpened sticks into my ears and ruin all of our careers before they even get started.

Charlie worked constantly and thus was never home. So being at his house felt like I was in high school all over again. That feeling was amplified by the fact that every time my phone rang my stomach would seize up into knots at the possibility that there was a special boy calling.

It drove me crazy being on a completely different schedule from Edward. He went to work early in the morning and would try to email me during the day, but of course we had to keep those emails PG since they went through his computer at work. They were also few and far between since he did actually have a job to do and deadlines to meet. He'd sometimes call me on his lunch hour but we never seemed to have enough time, though it was always nice to hear his voice. Evenings were hard too because I had band practice and so did he, which left just the late night hours for any lengthy talks.

The up side to things was that I felt like I was getting to know Edward more thoroughly than if we had been dating in the traditional sense. All we could do was talk. And talk we did, about anything and everything from our likes and dislikes to our family dramas to our sexual fantasies, never passing judgments or being critical. I felt like he accepted me completely, baggage and all and I him. As crazy as it sounds, it was probably the healthiest relationship I'd ever been in – and we hadn't even physically been in the same room together yet!

Those feelings made the urgency to get to him all that much more pressing and it was beginning to be more than I could take. I still had a fair amount of money left over from the advance from Jake and I very seriously considered flying to San Diego and just meeting up with the guys when they got there, but of course I had no guarantee that Jake would be able to even get us a show in San Diego and last minute band practices were consuming almost all of my waking hours. Seeing him sooner rather than later simply wasn't in the cards.

So I did my best to bide my time and be patient, difficult as it may be.

A few days later I got the call that set my world on fire; Jake had come through and scheduled us several shows in southern California. I was a little bit torn as to how I felt about the fact that they weren't first on the tour schedule. I was thankful because that would give me an opportunity to get into a groove with touring before letting Edward see me in my element, but of course at the same time that meant I'd have to continue to wait. Of course now there was a definite date on which my suffering would end, and the anxiousness of that was almost too much to handle.

Jake couldn't seem to understand why I was so excited, and I wasn't exactly inclined to let him in on the secret.

Edward was ecstatic. When I told him we'd be playing at the Belly Up he nearly lost it.

"Are you serious? I'd kill to play there! They always get the best bands and the atmosphere is amazingly chill, while still being high energy. That's amazing, Bella. I'm so proud of you." There wasn't any jealousy or contempt in his voice, only genuine reverence and pride for what I was going to do.

And then it seemed to hit him like a ton of bricks that our waiting was almost over and he was speechless.

"I… wow… I can't believe I'm actually, I mean we're actually going to…"

"I know," I said breathlessly. "I'm a little scared." Understatement of the century.

"Me too," he laughed. "But I'm happy. Happy doesn't even cover it, actually. I just can't believe that we're finally going to meet. And I can finally give you that kiss I promised you."

My skin ignited and heat radiated across every inch of me at the mere thought of his touch.

"I can't wait," I breathed, a bit shocked at how desperate my voice sounded.

"When do you leave?"

"The day after tomorrow. Tomorrow night is a kick off show in Seattle at this placed called Neumos. I've been to a couple of shows there but we've never played it. I'm so stoked. I can't believe this is actually happening to us. It's like a dream, I'm afraid someone is going to come along and wake me up."

"Bella, it's like I told you before; You and your band are amazing. You put in a lot of work and it shows. There isn't a single band out there that deserves it more than you."

I was without words to tell him how I felt like I only had the strength to do this because he believed that I could. It scared me that I even felt that way at all, but I couldn't help it. Edward had become the backbone I had always lacked.

We said our goodbyes, but I was far too wired to sleep. I had so many feelings inside of me, anxiety, excitement, fear, happiness that they threatened to rip me open at the seams.

So I wrote.

I wrote stream of consciousness ramblings. I wrote free form poetry. I wrote lyrics. I was vibrating, humming with energy that needed to be spilled out in black and white on paper. When words eventually failed me and my fingers were stiff and aching, I collapsed into bed, exhausted. My brain fought my body's need for sleep, sputtering out desperate last minute bursts of panic and joy. I remember my last waking thought being about my bed, with its rickety, second-hand frame and threadbare mattress, and how I used to lay in it night after night dreaming my rock star dreams. Every kid has them, and as much as their nights are filled with bright lights and cheering fans, no one ever thinks it will actually happen; including me. But it did and here I am, preparing to dream one last dream, make one last wish and embark on the rest of my life.

Breathe, Bella. Just breathe.

I stood just off the side of the stage watching Jake ramp up the crowd. I don't know what he did to get them all to come, but the place was packed and I was terrified. I saw Jasper's guitars lined up on a rack on the other side of the stage, tuned and ready to be played at different times during our set. I saw Emmett's drums set up on a platform at the rear of the stage, all polished chrome and bright red wrappings. I saw James' basses, lined up just like Jasper's, only closer to where I stood. And I saw the microphone stand, stark and alone, set out front away from everything else. I saw it all, but I couldn't convince my mind that it was real. And the moment I even started to let myself believe it, my body seized up and completely refused to move.

It didn't make sense; I'd played dozens of shows before with little more than a slight flutter of butterflies in my stomach but this was different. This was my life. It wasn't just for fun anymore. It was real and serious and it mattered how we did out there. Before, if they hated us it wasn't a big deal, but now it was of the upmost importance that they like us. No, they had to love us. If they didn't, all of our hopes and dreams would come crashing down and it would be my fault.

"Holy fuck, can you believe this?" I heard Emmett say from behind me, but it sounded muffled like he was talking through cotton.

"Bella?" Jasper put his hand on my shoulder. "Hey B," he continued when I didn't respond. "Are you okay?"

"Come on girl, don't freak out on us now," Emmett laughed.

"Em, now is not the time. Bella, seriously, are you ok? Do you need to puke or something?" Jasper stood in front of me, blocking Jake and blocking my view of the stage.

"Huh? Uh…no. I'm just… nervous. I think I need some air." I turned away to find the stage door that led into the alley behind the club.

"Too late, it's show time." Emmett's big, strong hands turned me back around and pushed me toward the roaring sound coming from the crowd.

The stage had gone dark. All I could see were the lights over the bars at the rear of the club and the glow of cigarettes and cell phones in the crowd. I broke out in a cold sweat and my vision started to go black just as I heard the familiar hum of Jasper's guitar and the vibrations of Emmett's drums thumping through the floor, up my legs, and into my chest.

Time seemed to slow down. I was blind and terrified, shaking and convinced I couldn't continue. The pressure was thick in the air and I was about to let it get the best of me. I clenched my eyes closed and willed my heart to slow down just enough that it wouldn't explode when I bolted for the door. When I opened my eyes I could see again, but just barely. I focused on a blurry beacon at the back of the club that blazed green and red in the darkness and I thought of Edward, green eyes and red-brown hair. I thought of what he'd think or say if he saw me standing here, letting what I'd worked so hard for, for so long slip through my fingers.

No one deserves this more than you do, his voice whispered over the clamor of the crowd. And for the first time ever, I believed him.

Time caught up with itself again and I was bathed in hot, intense light from above. Grasping the microphone with both hands I opened my mouth and let out the low, sultry notes of our first song. It didn't matter if we were here or in my dad's garage, this was our music, our turn, our future and there was nothing that was going to keep us from it.

EPOV

It was late, probably 2 something in the morning, and I was sitting with Mike, Tyler and Rose in the workshop having a few beers. Earlier in the night we'd put the finishing touches on recording a new song. Bella had been so busy lately I hadn't even gotten the chance to share any of it with her. But that was okay, I'd be just as happy to have a final product to show her as I would bits and pieces as it came along.

I wondered what she was doing, how she was feeling, how the show had gone, or was going. I hoped she'd call me to tell me how it went, but I completely understood if she just crashed afterward; it was a big day that was bound to take a lot out of her.

"Alright," Rose said, "It's time to talk shop, kids."

"Seems like an appropriate venue for such a conversation," Mike, a little tipsy, replied gesturing to our surroundings.

"What are we doing here?" she asked, her elbows on her knees and her long blonde hair falling over one shoulder.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean, these recordings, what are we doing with them? Are we just recording, putting in hours of work for our health?"

"No, of course not. We do it because… well-"

"Because why, Edward? Don't get me wrong, I love you guys. I really do. But I'm just starting to wonder where this is going. Do we even have a plan for that? Where we want to try to be by this time next year? Goals, a plan, a course of action, a general idea, anything? I just don't want to think that we're doing all this, spending all this time on nothing." She flipped her hair and sat back in her chair with her arms folded across her chest.

I saw Tyler give her a quick look up and down and tried not to smirk. I knew he thought she was hot.

"It's not for nothing, Rose. I promise."

"Then what's next?"

"It's not exactly that simple. It's not like we can just walk into a label and get them to offer us a deal. You know it doesn't work like that."

She rolled her wide blue eyes dramatically.

"Well no shit. I know it's not that easy but no one will ever hear us if we keep on keeping everything to ourselves. I mean come on, Edward. We've played, what? 4 shows in the last 6 months? That's pathetic and we're better than that. You can go down to the beach, walk into any club and hear a million shitty bands that we can write and play circles around. But we're not, we're here. Don't get me wrong, we work our asses off. But because of that we sound good. Like, really fucking good. We need to do something with it. I don't expect us to get signed tomorrow, next week, or really ever for that matter, but it doesn't do us any good to sit in here staring at each other."

Tyler looked guilty and took a long drag from his beer. I couldn't help but laugh this time.

"What?" she asked, affronted. "What is so funny about that?"

"Nothing, nothing," I chuckled. "You're absolutely right. We sit here until everything's perfect, but what for? If you guys are all on board, I'll step up and make the effort of getting us some more shows on the books. I miss it, to be honest, the rush and all. And shit, we've recorded enough near perfect material to put out an EP. We could scrape together some cash and sell it at shows."

"That's what I'm talking about!" Rose jumped out of her chair, crossed the room and planted a loud, smacking kiss on my forehead. "Jesus! It took you long enough!"

"Everyone is onboard, right…?" I looked to Mike and Tyler who just raised their brown glass bottles into the air.

"To the future," Mike toasted.

"The the future!"

I lay in bed that night, or morning rather, really happy for the first time in a long time. I no longer felt quite so lost in the world; the band had a plan and Bella would be coming soon. Everything was perfect.

It wouldn't be long before the sun came up, and I was sure I wouldn't be hearing from her until morning.

But she surprised me as usual.

Just as I was beginning to drift off to sleep I heard my phone chime from my bedside table. Fumbling in the dark, I reached over and saw that I had a message waiting from Bella.

It was a picture taken with her cell phone from onstage, of hundreds of screaming people with their hands in the air.

Wish you were here.

A moment later another message chimed in.

I'm dead on my feet, I'll call you tomorrow. Remind me to tell you why I love Heineken.


I so very sincerely apologize for the extended delay. I had the most serious case of writers block imaginable. And when I tried to write everything that came out was awful and I'd just scrap it. But things seem to have eased up lately and the creative juices are flowing again. I plan on continuing this story, finishing my other in progress creation, A Simple Twist of Fate and writing a sequel to my most recent one-shot, The One that got Away. If you haven't checked that out yet, please do. It was a submission for Smut Monday over on Twilighted, and I'm pretty proud of it.

Anywho, moving on... the song for this Chapter is Lassoo by The Duke Spirit. That's what I was listening to when writing the scene where Bella is on stage.

Leave me some love, or hate. Either one, LEAVE SOME! :)