A/N: Thanks for reviewing! Please keep them coming. : )

The scene and the company were familiar, but Sara couldn't shake the feeling that something was different. How many times had Nick come in for coffee, and how many more times had they hung out just like this in her living room? Too many to count was the answer, but how many other times had Sara felt her heart flutter when Nick laughed at her jokes and wanted to touch his face as he held her in his arms? That would be none. Why the hell was she thinking about these things now, when they'd been friends for so many years. I mean, if there was something special between them, it should've already happened. You know, maybe sometime over the past eight years she'd known him.

"Believe me, I wanted to punch Ecklie in the face a few times myself." Nick admitted, their coffee now long finished, the remnants resting in their matching mugs on the coffee table. Their positions had moved slightly for comfort reasons. Nick had propped his feet up on the coffee table, and Sara's arm was resting comfortably on the back of the couch, her upper body turned towards her best friend. She realized how close Nick's hand was to her knee. Just one movement of that warm hand, and he'd be encompassing it, perhaps gently stroking her leg with his thumb mindlessly. And she wouldn't stop him.

"Well, I've learned to restrain myself more." Sara admitted, sticking her tongue in her cheek at the memory of her suspension for being insubordinate. They'd gotten back on the subject of work, something that often came up naturally in their conversation. Both loved their work, so the topic often came up when they spoke. "I want to keep my job."

Nick smirked and nodded, wagging his foot around a little on the coffee table, his eyes pinned to the same spot. There was a comfortable silence between them for a few moments, before Nick turned the conversation somewhere Sara hadn't expected.

"So, uh, if you don't mind me asking. Where is Cody's father?" Nick had known Sara for years, and he'd never really found out about the boy's father. He was never mentioned, and it was easy to guess it hadn't been an amicable ending to whatever relationship they'd had. Nick wondered if she'd ever talked about it much to anyone, and thought that maybe she wanted to someone to talk to about it.

Sara sensed her face reddening as she felt Nick's eyes on her, not budging. Did he know how hard it was for someone not to be totally honest with him when he looked at you like that? She stole a glance at those pools of brown – so understanding, non-threatening, and warm. It made her want to spill all her secrets to him, but doing that was what got her in trouble in her relationships. The men she had dated before didn't want to hear about all her baggage, about how her father had been murdered in front of her eyes by her own mother, about her struggles as a single mom. No, they'd just wanted sex. Wait, why the hell was she comparing Nick to other men she'd dated? Sara cleared her throat and rubbed her forehead to clear that thought away. That wasn't allowed.

"I don't know where he is." Sara told him simply, picking up her mug from the coffee table uncomfortably. She touched the mug to her lips and tilted it back to take a sip, but the liquid was long gone, and they both knew it. Nick bit his lip to keep from smirking at her obvious attempt to cover up some embarrassment, or perhaps nervousness. She faked it well, though, letting the mug tilt for a few seconds before setting it back down on the table.

"Well, when was the last time you heard from him? Don't you get child support?" Nick continued. She hadn't stopped him from continuing. Sara knew he'd stop if she really wanted him too, but somehow she felt safe sharing these few bits of information with him. She didn't want to shut him down, not just yet. Maybe it was time she shared the mystery of Cody's father with someone.

Sara shook her head and sighed. "I don't tell anyone about Cody's father. It's not something I'm proud of." She admitted, tucking her hands between her thighs as she stared elsewhere, anywhere but at Nick. If she was going to spill this, she didn't want to see that look of pity on Nick's face.

Nick wasn't sure whether to keep asking questions, but it seemed like she was ready and needed to continue with the story. He knew Sara, and was pretty sure she'd just change the subject if she really didn't want to talk about this. "Well, I'm all ears if you wanna talk about it."

Her mouth gave a half-smirk and she nodded, unsure if she was ready to take this plunge. Would he think differently of her if he knew? Would he treat her like she was broken, which was something she absolutely despised. Above all, Sara didn't want to be treated like a victim, because that's not the way she carried herself. Victims let bad things take over their lives, and she certainly hadn't done that.

"I don't even know his name." Sara began, forcing herself to keep a strong, unwavering voice. "I still remember his face, though."

Nick's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but he didn't interrupt, and let Sara tell her story.

"I never had a relationship with Cody's father." She paused and swallowed, her mouth feeling suddenly dry. "I was raped."

"Oh my God, Sara." Nick whispered sympathetically, but somehow when he said it, Sara didn't feel like a victim. "How'd this happen?"

"It was when I lived in San Francisco. Just walking my dog one evening. I though I lived in a safe neighborhood, but apparently not." She studied her fingernails, trying to tell Nick without having to remember all the awful details. Being controlled by someone else was the most difficult thing – to not have any say in what was happening to her. Since then, being intimate with someone was like sheer torture – it took her back to that horrible time and place.

"I'm sorry, Sara. No one deserves to have that happen to them." He placed his hand on her knee and patted it gently. It was a touch she'd craved moments before, but this was a different kind. Not one of affection, but of support, and it was just what she needed.

"I know. It's just…I've tried hard to get over it and move on, but every time Cody wants to know about his father, it takes me back." She admitted, struggling not to cry. "I feel angry at my own child for asking about his father."

This was what Sara felt the most guilty about. Of course Cody was naturally curious about who his father was. Most of the other kids at school had a dad. If not a full-time dad, one that they at least got to see every once in a while. Cody had no way of knowing that asking about his father upset his mom so much. At age seven, he didn't need to know. Sara fought hard to protect her only child from the dangerous world she encountered every day at work. He was young and innocent, and Sara wanted him to stay that way as long as possible.

"Sara, it's okay to have those feelings. Of course it hurts to be reminded of what happened to you. No one wants to relive those memories." Nick's tone was empathetic and kind. She knew he wouldn't be judgmental or ask her why she hadn't told anyone yet. He'd dealt with victims enough to know that they just wanted the pain to go away. Talking about it helped some, but it was also like reliving your worst nightmare over and over again each time you explained it.

His warm hand gently moved back and forth on her pants leg, hoping to offer some degree of comfort to his friend. Rapists were some of the worst scum on the earth, and it killed Nick inside to know that his Sara had been through it and had been dealing with it alone.

"Have you talked to anyone about this before?" He gently probed, his eyes staying on her face. Sara hadn't been able to stop the tears from coming, so he snabbed a couple tissues from the end table and handed them to her.

Sara wiped at her under eyes with the tissues and nodded. "I went to therapy for a while, but it didn't really help. One of my good girlfriends knows, but no one else. I don't want them to know."

Nick nodded in understanding. He could ask more questions about how she'd explained her pregnancy to her family and friends, but could tell that Sara sharing all this with him was emotional enough. It must've been hard to share all this with him, and he wasn't about to ruin it by asking too many questions. Obviously, she needed someone to confide in, and he was more than happy to be that person. He reached over and took one of her hands between both of his.

"I know this was hard, but I'm glad you told me." Nick whispered, looking her in the eye. Now he felt an urge to be protective of his friend even more so. He was one of only a few people in her life that knew about her rape, and so he was the only one who could help her with it.

Sara nodded and looked him back in the eye, but soon the image of his caring face became faded with tears. She felt his arms go around her, surrounding her with a warm, supportive hug. It felt nice to feel safe again, and for the first time in a while, she allowed herself to cry into his shoulder. Nick pressed a loving kiss to her forehead as he rubbed circles on her back, hoping she knew that he'd always be there for her.

About half an hour and many hugs later, Nick decided it was time for him to head out. Both had been yawning and though Maddie was asleep upstairs, she needed to be at home in her own bed. Nick scooped his growing daughter up in his arms and carried her out to the car, Sara holding the doors open for him. Once she was safely laid down in the middle row of seats, Nick met Sara next to the driver's side door.

"Well, thanks for listening." Sara told him, slightly embarrassed that she'd broken down on him and had gotten his shirt collar quite wet from crying.

"Anytime." Nick assured her, giving her arm a supportive squeeze. "I'm always here to listen. Whenever you need to talk, just call me."

Sara nodded and offered a small smile, then Nick leaned in to kiss her forehead. His lips lingered, and she thought she heard him take a little sniff of her hair. It had been a long time since someone had kissed her so tenderly and made her feel so loved and taken care over.

Nick climbed into his truck and started up the ignition. As he put the car in reverse, he looked at Sara and gave her a little wink. Sara waved and watched the truck disappear into the darkness, the sound of the engine slowly fading as he drove into the distance. What she really wanted was to be wrapped up in those arms of his once again. She hadn't remembered a time when she felt so completely safe.

CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI

The next day, Nick had the day off, so he was able to take Madeline to gymnastics practice and watch her. He bought her a Subway sandwich to eat on the way over to make sure she was well-fed before exerting so much energy. Today, she was pretty quiet, even at practice amongst her friends. Though she wouldn't admit it out loud, Nick was pretty sure she liked that he was coming to more of her practices lately. And he really did love watching her, it was just that there weren't enough hours in the day.

Later, when they arrived home after practice, Nick began to get the ingredients together for some beef enchiladas. Madeline took a seat on the couch, and Nick just assumed she was starting some homework. However, after he'd put the enchiladas in the oven to bake, he found his daughter looking through an old photo album quietly by herself. The look on her face was serene. Obviously she was fond of the pictures she was looking at.

"Whatcha got there?" He asked as he walked over to where she sat, her legs tucked up underneath her as she turned a page.

"My baby pictures."

Nick sat down next to her and looked down at the pictures. There was one of Lauren in the hospital, holding her newborn baby girl, and Nick smiling on proudly next to her. That was the best day, and the proudest day of his life, becoming a father. He and Lauren had been thrilled, and it showed in the way their faces were lit up. Meeting the little wonder that was their new daughter had brought the couple closer together. However, now that they were divorced, Nick wondered if there was ever true love between them. After all, they'd only married because Lauren was pregnant. Of course Nick cared for Lauren deeply. They'd been married for eleven years, but it had all really been lust. After a couple years of marriage, the excitement soon fizzled out, and they were soon just two people living together trying to raise a daughter.

Madeline flipped to the next page, her eyes twinkling at the images of herself as a baby. Madeline nursing. Madeline's first bath. Madeline's first Christmas. All the pictures had been labeled religiously by Lauren. Nick smirked at a picture Lauren had taken of him holding Maddie in his lap, and she was reaching for his nose. Both laughed at a picture of them both asleep in the recliner, Maddie curled up on his chest.

"You were always my shadow when you were little." He smirked and gave her a kiss on the head. Nick missed the days sometimes when he was hero, just for being her dad. She used to adore him, run to him when he came home from work, and beg for him to play Barbies with her. At the time, he hadn't liked playing Barbies with her that much, but now he would gladly be invited to do anything with his Madeline.

"What was my first word again, Dad?" She asked as they came across a picture of him and Lauren curled up on a bed, reading her a story.

Nick snickered. "Not Momma. Not Dada. Cat." He told her. Maddie giggled, always loving to hear about her first word. Apparently, she'd adored the family cat, Eggo, so much that cat had been her first word.

The father and daughter had a great, bonding few minutes together looking through the rest of her baby album, ending when she'd reached her toddler years. There was another album for that. They had practically an encyclopedia-sized collection of albums, mostly starring Madeline. As the pair looked through the pictures, Nick's thoughts couldn't help but wander back to Sara and what she'd revealed to him last night. Madeline had been born and brought up and such a loving environment, with two doting parents up until now. Cody had been born out of violence. Nick admired Sara so much for pushing all her hurt aside to raise her son. It must hurt too, that every time she looked into her son's face, she must see the face of her rapist in there somewhere. While certain features definitely resembled Sara, half of Cody's genes did come from that bastard. However, Cody was a delightful little boy, full of love, intelligent, and kind. The fact that Cody was growing up so well-adjust was really a testament to what a strong person Sara was. But, God, how hard it must be for Sara to look at Cody every day and be reminded of her rape. To not be able to look at her own child without some level of memory about a horrible experience. Sara was amazing to him in this capacity, among others, and he admired her.

"Daddy, do you think Mom will ever come back?" Madeline had since closed the photo album, clutching it in her arms close to her heart.

Well, if he knew how, he would sure be trying. Nick didn't know why Lauren had just suddenly decided she'd had enough of her life with them. The divorce was the first step, but moving across the country had been completely unexpected. It hurt him that she apparently wanted to start a new life, without him and with Madeline, so far away, but knew it must be hurting their daughter ten times as worse. Sometimes he forgot, amidst all her mouthy comebacks and disobedience, that she was hurting so much; that she'd basically lost her mother. While this didn't excuse how she acted, it was an explanation.

"I don't know, baby. Your mom just decided she needed to get away for a while. We can't force her to come back if she doesn't want to." He told her honestly. Madeline was way too smart to be given half-ass answers. She deserved to know what was going on, at least to some extent. Maddie sighed and rested her head against her father's shoulder.

"What kind of mother leaves her kid?"

Nick sure as hell could go into a rant about how screwed up Lauren's choices were. It disgusted him that she sometimes didn't return Madeline's calls, and that she hadn't visited in months. But that's not what his daughter needed to hear.

"Well, sometimes people go through phases. I think your Mom's going through a stage where she wants her independence. Maybe she wants to feel young again. It's not fair to you, but unfortunately that's the way it is right now." He idly stroked her ponytail, and while they were talking about a sad, solemn topic, he was kind of enjoying that Madeline was curled up next to his side, spending time with him.

"Do you hate Mom?"

Nick breathed in before answering. Sometimes he thought he did, but deep down, he didn't. They'd been in love at some point, and once you've loved someone, it's hard to conjure up feelings of hate. "No. I don't like the way she's acting right now, but I don't hate her. How about you?"

Madeline sighed heavily and hugged the album a bit tighter. "Sometimes. It's weird. I'm mad at her the most when I wish she was here with me."

"That's okay. I bet it hurts that when you feel you need her the most, she's not here. It's okay to be mad about that." He assured her. Nick was relieved that she was actually opening up to him a little bit. She rarely talked about her feelings about the divorce and her mother leaving. Nick suspected that she didn't like to because it upset her so much. But like with Sara, it helped to let her feelings out.

"Do you like Sara?" Maddie asked out of the blue.

Nick looked down at his daughter, a bit confused.

"Well, yes. She's a very good friend. Why do you ask?"

Madeline shrugged and set the album down on the coffee table, then snuggled up closer to her dad. She'd seen the way he looked at her when he dropped her off yesterday. There was a twinkle in his eye, like he used to look at her mom when they were in love. Plus, her dad didn't act quite the same around other women. It was like he was being careful about how he acted and what he said around Sara all of a sudden. He'd never cared before.

When Madeline didn't answer his question, Nick decided not to push it. She was curled up against him now, her eyes closed, so he just kissed her head and pulled her a little closer. It was rare he got to cuddle much with Madeline anymore, so he'd enjoy it while he could get it.

As he held his daughter, his mind kept returning to her question. Do you like Sara? Yes. Probably more than he should right now. Nick knew he was just getting over his divorce. He was confused, and frankly, still a bit heartbroken. He wasn't in a place to be thinking about his feelings towards other women. No way was he ready for another relationship, and Madeline certainly wasn't equipped to handle him even dating new people. But was he just supposed to suppress these new feelings he was having? And with all that Sara had revealed to him last night, was he just supposed to go on and act like everything was fine? Nick felt that she'd told him all this for a reason. Maybe she needed his help. What kind of friend would he be to just turn his back on her, when she'd just spilled obviously distressing feelings with him? Nick sure didn't know the answer.

Nick looked down at his now dozing daughter, with her trademark frown on her face. She'd always frowned when she was sleeping. Though he knew his feelings towards Sara were changing, all he knew was that right now, Madeline needed to be his priority.