SCENE 9: THE BARGAIN

In Which Cosette Gets a Present

VALJEAN:
(popping up out of nowhere yet again)
Gimme Cosette.

MASTER THENARDIAR:
Um, but she is our slave child- I mean, loving child, that we um love a lot I guess...

VALJEAN:
Here is a kajillion dollars. Francs. Whatever.
(gives them money. He obviously doesn't mind living poorly for the rest of his life. I mean, a couple pieces of silver can only go so far...)

MASTER THENARDIAR:
Yea sure take the brat. Whatev.

VALJEAN:
(grabbing the child)
COME COSETTE
SAY GOODBYE
LET US SEEK OUT A FRIENDLIER SKY...
And here is a dolly.

LITTLE COSETTE:
(who is magically back from the oh-so-fun Well in the Woods)
Oh goody! I love you, random stranger!

EVERYONE:
(exits)

Personally, I think this would be a good place to end ACT I. But no...there's even more…