"Get those motherfucking snakes of my motherfucking plane!"

Gabrielle cringed. She had forgotten just how lowbrow Steve's taste in movies was. Well, at least it wasn't porn, she supposed.

She was bored and restless. She was surprised at just how much she missed Jack. He had made her laugh, made her feel safe, opened her mind in the same way he had opened her heart and made her feel safe... and sexy.

Steve made her feel neither, she had to admit. She constantly felt jittery around him, always wondering what he was really thinking. That, and Rachel's comment bothered her. It was public knowledge that she and Jack still saw each other socially, and one day, when Gabrielle had asked about it, Rachel, who knew better than most how badly Jack was hurting, had thrown in her face that Jack just wanted the company of someone who cared about him, not someone who would leave him for someone who wasn't good enough to open doors for Jack.

"Steve isn't as bad as you think he is," Gabrielle had tried to defend him.

"Yeah, he is," Rachel countered. "Jack and I saw him feeling up some other woman the night Travis died, after Jack told him to rack off. He had too much damn honour to say anything – but I sure as hell don't."

She had confronted Steve, naturally, and naturally Steve had denied it. "Everyone knows how totally in love with him she is, and how in love with you he is," he argued. "She'd say anything just to unsettle you." In her gut, Gabrielle trusted Rachel's version of events more than she did Steve's... but Steve was her boyfriend, didn't he deserve the benefit of the doubt? So she had let it go, or tried to. But the nagging feeling wouldn't leave her.

She was so sick of watching stupid action movies with Steve. Sick of having him think his idea of a good night was a carton of beers and bad movies. Sick of letting her mind grow idle in her free time. God, she missed watching DVDs with him and him making her laugh and think...

Steve had his hand on her knee and was moving it up. She pushed it away when it got to her thigh. "Wassamatter?" he asked drunkenly.

"What's the matter is that you're drunk and I don't appreciate it. You know how I feel about... this kind of behaviour."

"What kind of behaviour? Actually being hot for my girlfriend?" he asked. He didn't take his hand off her thigh, and tried to kiss her. She cringed at the taste of beer on his breath.

"Don't, Steve. You know how I feel." The fact was, Steve's touch always left her cold. She had never truly gotten over Parker's assault on her. And Steve didn't know how to make her feel at ease, not the way Jack did...

"About what? You don't want sex, you don't want me to touch you. You kiss like a thirteen-year-old. Bet you weren't so cold to Quade," he said.

"You know nothing about my relationship with Jack."

"Ah, so now it's a relationship?" he asked.

"Of course it was a relationship. He was a good friend."

Through his drunkenness, rage and jealousy coursed his body. She had really cared about him – maybe she had even loved him. He should have known it. The way she spoke about him – she was fond of him... maybe she even cared about him more than she did himself. "You expect me to believe you spent all that time alone with him and nothing happened?"

"Yes," she said. She wondered if Steve suspected the night they had shared together, or if he was just being mean in his drunken state. Her mind flashed back to that night, the way he had been rough and gentle, demanding and giving, controlling and vulnerable at the same time, all the while making her feel loved and respected and sexy...

Steve watched her eyes lose focus as she recalled... something. There had been something more to it then one frantic tryst and a few faked kisses, he knew it. And the idea of anyone else with her made him sick with jealous. He grabbed her roughly and kissed her even more roughly, forcing his tongue into her mouth. By God, she was his girlfriend and she would give him the same favours she had bestowed upon Jack bloody Quade.

Gabrielle struggled to pull away, but Steve held her tight. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" she demanded when she broke free of his unwanted kiss. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. He tasted like beer, and she remembered how Jack almost always tasted like either toothpaste of expensive coffee.

There she was again, thinking about him. "I have rights," he said childishly. "I'm a man, and I have needs."

"You're not much of a man if you think like that," she shot back. She was certain now that Rachel had been telling the truth, that Steve had been with another woman that night he had claimed to be out with Jack til all hours of the morning. Guiltily, she remembered telling Rachel to mind her own business and not to spread rumours about her superiors. She remembered the look of resentment that had crossed her face, and realised now that instead of it being the look of a child who has been told not to gossip, it was the look of a woman who resented her and Jack's integrity being question in favour of a liar, a drunk and a two-timer. Oh, God, she'd gotten it all wrong. "Just leave me the hell alone, Steve," she spat.

Her words enraged him. She was avoiding answering him, he knew it. So she had slept with him more then once, catering to that prick's needs... and now she was denying him his needs. Quick as a flash – remarkably so, given how drunk he was – he was on his feet and grabbed her. "I'm your boyfriend, I have rights," he repeated, and kissed her hard, backing her against the wall roughly.

She tried to push him away, but drunk and unco-ordinated as he was, he was still stronger than her. She could feel the taste of beer on his breath and was reminded again that Jack rarely tasted of anything but toothpaste and coffee. She felt Steve's weight pressed awkwardly against hers like a deadweight, and wondered if he had always been this rough and unbalanced and Jack just had a knack of keeping his weight on his knees instead of crushing her, or the alcohol was bringing it out in Steve. She shivered with revulsion when she felt his hands pinning her wrists down, groping her, and cried out for him to stop. He ignored her, or mistook her cries for pleasure, but either way, he didn't stop, and she wanted to throw up. She couldn't believe this was happening to her again. Steve wasn't seeing her as a woman, a person with feelings, he was seeing her as a thing, a thing that provided sex that could be demanded and taken with no consideration and with ruthless determination. What was it about her that gave men the impression she was a piece of meat to be handled and consumed any way they saw fit? "Stop!" she screamed, and when he tried to kiss her again, she simultaneously bit down on his neck and brought her knee up between her neck as hard as she could.

Steve staggered back, howling with pain. "You fucking frigid bitch!"he screamed, and before he'd thought about it, he'd clenched his hand into a fist and delivered an impressive right hook which was even more impressive given how drunk he was. It landed squarely on the side of her face, hitting her nose, mouth and cheek.

Gabrielle felt a warm trickle down her face and knew her nose was bleeding. For a second, she could only stare in horror at what Steve had done. Steve himself was horrified. What had started off as an attempt to seduce his girlfriend had ended up with him assaulting her. Instantly, all the aggression in him was gone, but it was too late. "Oh, God, babe, I'm so sorry," he said.

He took a step towards her, and she took two back, her hands held out in front of her defensively. "Get out!" she screamed.

He was slow to catch onto the message. "I'm sorry. Let me – " he went to reach out for herm to assess how bad the damage was. He hadn't hit her that hard, had he? OK, hard enough to make her nose bleed but he hadn't broken any bones – he was sure of that.

She flinched violently when he tried to touch her. "Get the fuck out of my house!" she screamed. "If you come near me again, I'll kill you! I'll tell Jack, and you'll wish he'd kill you!"

Steve panicked at the threat. He had no doubt Jack would hunt him down if he ever gave Gabrielle reason to ask him to. He bolted out of the house and into the night.

Watching him go, Gabrielle started to shake with terror, now that the original rush of anger was over. It hit her hard that Steve had thought nothing of trying to force himself onto her, of punching her when she'd had to hurt him to make him stop... this was Steve, a man she had known since she'd been a kid. Steve, who she had chosen over Jack because she had been so convinced that he was a changed man and Jack wasn't interested in her. Boy, did she have the lousiest judgement in the world when it came to men. She started to cry, feeling very alone in the world.

Finally composing herself, she reached for her phone. Despite all that had happened between them, she was sure Jack would be there for her...

... Rachel was sitting on the couch, trying to make sense of War and Peace while Jack had a shower. It turned out they both loved Thai food so he was taking her out to a restaurant that had just opened. They had been spending a lot of time together since he had quite the hospital. She was worried about him, but he seemed to enjoy his company, and even Dan had said that she got him out of the house, so she took that to mean she was a good influence on him.

She frowned. Unlike Gabrielle. She just didn't understand the older woman's stubborn determination to believe the best in Steve. The guy was a royal jerk. She knew Steve disliked her for blabbing about the other woman, and between the two of them, she was thinking that it was time to move on, although she did really enjoy working at All Saints – even with Frank Campion running the ED.

Jack's mobile phone went off, startling her out of her attempts to make sense of the book. She picked it up and glanced at the caller ID. Her frown deepened. What did she want? Checking to make sure the shower was still going, she clicked on answer. "Hello?" she asked, in her best voice to indicate that she had no idea who the caller was on account that Jack had deleted her from his contact list.

Gabrielle's heart sank. She would know Rachel's voice anywhere – she had spent enough time wondering just how close she and Jack were, going so far as to once strain to overhear their conversation when he'd picked her up 'cos he needed a date to make an otherwise painfully boring university function for his sister more bearable. University function! How the hell had Rachel managed that one? Everyone knew Rebecca had zero tolerance of any woman in Jack's life. "Hi, it's Gabrielle," she said stiffly, trying not to start crying again. Like hell she was going to let a subordinate hear her cry. "Is Jack there?"

"He's in the shower," she asked with a poisoned sweetness that could have rivalled Rebecca's. "Can I take a message?"

Gabrielle's heart sank even lower. If he was in the shower, that meant they had plans to go out. On a date, she would assume. She couldn't bother Jack with her problems now. "No, it's OK," she said, and hung up the phone before she started crying again.

Rachel put the phone back in its position on the table. Well, she had said there was no message, so what reason was there for tell Jack she had called? It would only upset him, anyway. And it wasn't likely Jack would go through his call log and find a received call from her. She decided it was best for everyone not to say anything.

A few minutes later, Jack was ready. She smiled when she saw him. There was something about the way he dressed that she loved – it wasn't that his clothes were super-expensive, but that, unlike a lot of men (ie, Dan) he had an instinct about what suited him and what didn't, better than most women. And he looked adorable when his hair was still damp and spiky. "You ready?" he asked, which was a bit stupid, because he was the one who had held them up with a shower after the gym. At that thought, her eyes drifted quickly over his body. She knew he hated people staring at him, but she also knew how deceptively well-built he was, and she could never resist a quick peek.

"Yep," she said, and closed the book. At least she wasn't stuck trying to read it anymore. She really wanted to be part of Jack's life, but sometimes his taste left a lot to be desired...

... Gabrielle sank to the floor after hanging up the phone. So it was true, they were dating. She wanted to cry, but fought back the tears. Crying wouldn't achieve anything and she didn't know when Steve would get bored of charging around the neighbourhood drunkenly – he hadn't taken his car – and come back. She had to get out of the house...

... Half an hour later Charlotte opened the doo to her house to find a very distraught-looking Gabrielle on her doorstep. "My God..." she breathed. She looked awful. Whoever had hit her had done a thorough job, and on top of that, she had obviously been crying. "Come in."

"I'm sorry, but i didn't know where else to go. I was scared Steve would come back and I didn't want to be there when he did."

For some reason, it didn't surprise Charlotte that Steve had been the one who had done this. There was something about the that guy gave her the creeps. Maybe it was just the way he had continually thrown their relationship in Jack's face, maybe the fact he seemed to have an extremely wandering eye, which Gabrielle seemed determined to ignore.

And one other thing. Charlotte noted that Gabrielle said nothing about Jack. Given their history, given how good Jack was at calming her down, shouldn't she have called him? Well, that wasn't her first concern. "It's fine. Take a seat." Gabrielle sat, and Charlotte pulled her icepack out of the freezer – though she doubted it would do much now, that bruise looked at least an hour old – and her first-aid out from under the kitchen sink. On further thought, she pulled out the ingredients for one of Rebecca Rowe's legendary cocktails. Gabrielle definitely needed something to calm her down. But first thing was first. "Did he do anything but hit you?" Charlotte asked, trying to keep her voice as sympathetic as she could. She better appreciated how hard it must have been for jack to keep his temper in check when it had come to Gabrielle – any man who would do this, let alone to someone significantly smaller then them, deserved to be shot.

Gabrielle shook her head, and found herself telling Charlotte everything that had happened. "He's always been – I mean, he's always tried to push the issue, but he's never been like this. He just snapped." She stared off into space, thinking about Steve's words. He had been wrong, she knew that intellectually, but she wondered if there was some truth to them. She knew Jack had been constantly frustrated by her holding him at arm's length, too. Of course, Jack was far more of a gentleman than Steve was, but still, had it been reasonable of her to expect Steve to just wait and wait and wait?

"Yes," Charlotte said bluntly. "If even Bart could cotton onto how skittish you were about being touched, then surely someone who purported to care about you as girlfriend could work it out. Look, I remember seeing you with Jack, I always knew he was a total sweetheart with women but with you he just seemed to outdo himself I know that's just Jack being Jack, but it's also common bloody sense and Steve shouldn't assume it didn't affect you in anyway, let alone be so entitled that he thinks it's OK to behave like that... even drunk. Look, why don't I cal l Jack? He'll want to know."

"I already did. He and Rachel are on a date."

Charlotte was surprised. He knew Jack and Rachel were pally – approved of it actually, because Rachel was sweet but at the same time strong enough to stand up to Rebecca, and God knew Jack needed plenty such people in his life – but didn't think there was anything more to it than friendship, despite what gossip said. Jack just didn't look at her the way he had Gabrielle, and any romantic feelings were entirely on Rachel's side. "He said that?" she asked.

"Rachel did. She answered his phone."

Privately, Charlotte wouldn't have put it passed Rachel to have lied, or at least been creative with the truth, both out of a sincere desire to protect Jack as well as a more selfish one to keep him for herself. But no point in telling Gabrielle that. "You need to rest," she said. "And tomorrow, we'll see about filing an assault charge and getting an AVO." Though she doubted Steve would be back. He and Frank had already had words and men like Steve ran away from their responsibilities and problems, rather than dealing with them. Not that seeing the last of Steve would be much comfort for Gabrielle's shattered nerves and heart.


Jack rushed to the hospital with far more efficiency than he had done when he was a registrar, a fact that wasn't lost on Mike or Frank. Mary, his former landlady and a woman who had been more of a mother to him than his own mother or step-mother, was seriously ill. Suddenly, he felt guilty for all the neglect he had treated her with the last four months. It was just that everything had gotten in the way – first Patrick, then Travis, then Gabrielle, then Steve, then Patrick and Travis again until he felt there was no way he could face Mary without her being able to see how unhappy he was with his life.

And he was unhappy, despite the effort his friends, Dan and Rachel especially, were going to in order to keep him distracted. And he loved them for it, but it couldn't stop the ache in his heart whenever he thought of Travis or Gabrielle – and he thought about them a lot.

But all thoughts of Travis and Gabrielle had flown from his mind when he had gotten the call from Dan that Mary was back in hospital. He rushed to the hospital like a madman, and all but snatched Mary's medical records from Frank's hands, despite the fact that since he was no longer employed at the hospital, he had no right to see them. What's more, because he was merely 'a friend', he had no next-of-kin rights either. Well, screw that. He had been a much better son to Mary than her own had been, like she had been a much better mother to him, and Frank had another think coming if he thought Jack had no rights.

Frank had tried to bargain with Jack, admit why he had abruptly quite medicine and he could look at the records. Jack had easily circumvented the older doctor, but Mary was a whole other story. She knew him far better than Frank did, far better than anyone ever had – except maybe Gabrielle. She knew better than to accept 'I just didn't feel like it anymore' as an excuse for throwing away the one thing that could make him smile through exhaustion and frustration. She knew something had gone tragically wrong in his life if he hadn't come to see her in almost half a year.

So Jack found himself recounting everything that had happened, starting from when he'd been eighteen-months-old and his step-mother had hated him on sight and belted him for whatever she could think of, from when he'd been twelve and met the most awesome man in the world who paid him far more attention and encouragement then his father, from when he'd been thirteen and that man had turned on him, hurting and humiliating him with brutality that even his step-mother hadn't been capable of. From when, ten years after he'd left his working-class roots for a scholarship at one of the best universities in the country, that man had appeared back in his life. To Travis tracking hi down and his relationship with Gabrielle – he had thought he could make her love him if only he paid her enough attention, treated her with respect and consideration. To finally, Gabrielle's 'leaving' him for her ex and Travis's death and the disaster with Mercedes... "I just keep screwing stuff up," he finished, "and I took no joy out of anything I did."

"And are you happy now?" she asked, getting straight to the heart of the issue. He thought about lying to her, then realised he would never get away with it. Like any good mother, she knew his body language too well. He shook his head slowly. "I used to remember how you'd come home in that awful piece of junk of yours, and sometimes you'd be dead on your feet but you were always so happy, so driven – i never saw anyone love what they did the way you do."

"But I don't feel that way about surgery anymore," he insisted. "I'm not sure I ever did."

"Then find something other than surgery," she said crossly. "Really, Jack, you give up too easily. And as for this girl – I'm sure you're worth ten of this other guy."

"You've never met him." But Jack found Mary's words more soothing than Dan's or Rachel's had been – maybe because Mary had known him for so long... he wished now that he had told her about Gabrielle from the beginning. Maybe she would have had some good maternal advice. Actually, he wished now that he had told her about everything from the beginning.

He saw her up to surgery with his mind full of ideas. He actually felt less sluggish then he had in weeks and weeks – since long before he had quit. It was only then that he noticed how chaotic the ward was, even by the standards of a major Sydney hospital, and he asked Bart what the hell was going on. "No-one has any idea where Steve and Gabrielle are," Bart grumbled. "Except that Steve quit."

Jack wasn't surprised to hear that Steve had quit; he was the kind of man that burned his bridges quickly and spectacularly – he had probably quit two minutes before Frank could fire him. But Gabrielle... had she gone with him? He couldn't believe she would be so reckless about her future. Tying her career to a lying, womanising boozer was not the intelligent, insightful woman he knew.

But it opened a door for his own career.

He found Frank and expressed his interest in going back to the ED. Mary's words and rattled him, and he was beginning to realise she was right – he had always loved medicine, never more then when he could see people's treatment through to the end. You didn't get that with surgery. Sure, you got to do the pre-surgery consult, but after that, they were just a piece of meat. No human interaction. He missed actually getting to know his patients, he missed the humanity of healing.

Frank was doubtful, but he was also desperate. "What about Steve and Gabrielle?" he asked.

"Rumour has it that Steve quit and Gabrielle left with him."

"Rumour is slightly askew." He knew, of course, that Gabrielle had taken time off because she looked even worse than she had when Parker had assaulted her, and her nerves were even more frayed as well. He was sorely tempted to tell Jack about it, agreeing with Charlotte's opinion that Jack had always known the right thing to do around Gabrielle. But Gabrielle had threatened to quit if he said anything, and Frank had no doubt that the woman was proud and stubborn enough to go through with it. "Steve has quit, but you'll have to deal with Gabrielle eventually," was all he would confirm.

Jack shrugged. "Gabrielle and I were never together," he said, as casually as if he were talking about the weather. It was hard to shock Frank but Jack managed to do it. They had been so believable, had such chemistry and affection for one another, and no-one ever thinks that maybe two people are just pretending to be together... but it made sense that Jack had seemed far more indifferent to Gabrielle and Steve's getting together than was to be expected of someone as passionate as Jack. And it made sense as to why Mike kept sending him down to the ED – anyone who knew Jack would never have let him get within striking distance of the man his ex had left him for... unless that person knew they had never been together in a true sense for her to have left him.

In the end, Frank made Jack agree to get counselling, and even wrote up a contract with a codicil that he see said counsellor once a week. It wasn't exactly legally binding, but just so long as Jack thought it was...

Jack left wondering how he felt about Gabrielle... and how he'd feel when he saw her again... if he saw her again...


"Thanks for everything, Char, but i can't hide here forever," Gabrielle told Charlotte later that day. Charlotte hadn't told Gabrielle that jack was returning to the ED. She herself wouldn't be returning for some time, until her face healed enough that she could sufficiently cover it with makeup, so why burden her with the news when she was still in such a fragile state?

"I really think you should see a counsellor," Charlotte said. "Or at least talk to Jack. You guys were so good together and he'd take you back in a heartbeat."

Why, so he can do his knight-in-shining-armour thing again? Gabrielle wanted to ask Charlotte. But then, Charlotte thought they had actually been together, and not just pretended so Jack could do the right thing by her. "Things were a lot more complicated than people realised," she said enigmatically. "Believe me, it wouldn't work. If he just came back, it would be out of obligation, and I'd rather deal with this on my own."

The woman's pride and stubbornness was frustrating sometimes. Charlotte knew Jack would never do something as major as commit to someone out of sheer relationship. In this regard, she was more on the money then Gabrielle, because Jack had been using obligation as a smokescreen for what he had really wanted – a committed relationship. "Are you sure you're going to be alright?" Charlotte asked.

Gabrielle smiled as best as she could. One side of her face hurt. "I changed the locks, got security glass for the windows, filed a complaint and got an AVO out. I even send copies of the documents and the receipts to his dad's place," she added, with a hint of her old feisty smile. If he ever showed his face back home, there would be hell to pay.

So she left Charlotte's after a week of sanctuary there, knowing that as much as she had loved the older woman's company, not to mention that Zach was the most adorable little boy, she couldn't hide there forever. She returned to her own home, and was instantly struck by how empty and uninviting it looked. She was used to being alone, but it was different now. For a few weeks, she had enjoyed Jack's attentiveness and affection, and it wasn't until she returned home that she realised how much she missed that. Being alone wasn't nearly as enjoyable an option as it had been mere months ago.


"Prodigal son returns home," Rachel said with a smile when Jack turned up early for his first shift. There was a sparkle in his eyes that she approved of. Whatever that woman who had been his landlady had said, it had worked wonders. He looked like he had gotten several good nights sleep in a row. He looked like he might be willing to commit to a relationship.

"Does the prodigal son get drinks shouted for him tonight?" he asked, and the way he smiled at her, even someone as clueless about relationships as Bart was grasped that it wasn't a group invitation. Jack had been doing a lot of thinking in the last few days, and he accepted that he couldn't spend his days feeling sorry for himself that Gabrielle didn't care about him the way she did Steve. Hadn't he already learnt from Terri that you couldn't make someone forget an ex if they didn't want to?.It was time he got out there and started living his life again – after all he had promised Travis.

Rachel went through the day on cloud nine. Jack's attitude had completely changed, and she knew, just knew that he was looking to the future – to moving on from Gabrielle, and to dating again. He had smiled at her differently than the way he usually did.

She was trying to locate the following week's rosters on the desk Frank and Zoe shared – much to Zoe's annoyance, Frank had his own somewhat eclectic style of filing, and she could never find anything of her own when she wanted to – because Frank had unceremoniously dumped responsibility of the nurses rosters onto her on account that the other nurses refused to touch it. Left none-too-discreetly on the desk was a police statement made by Gabrielle Jaeger against Steve Taylor, assault. Stapled to it was an AVO made by Gabrielle Jaeger against Steve Taylor. Curiosity getting the better of her, she read the two documents. She realised that the assault had happened the same night she had intercepted a call from Gabrielle to Jack. The phone call that she hadn't told Jack about.

Guilt flooded her. Useless now to tell herself that Gabrielle hadn't wanted to leave a message. Useless to tell herself that Gabrielle had chosen to be with Steve and had no claim on Jack. Useless to tell herself that she had only been trying to protect him – she couldn't deny that part of her had wanted to keep Gabrielle away from him for her own selfish reason. All she could clearly see in her brain was that Gabrielle had called for help and she had intercepted the line of communication.

She heard footsteps outside the door, and managed to put the documents back where she found them and grab the rosters and look perfectly innocent in time for Zoe to poke her head around the door. "There you are," she said, thinking that Rachel looked guilty about something but since Zoe didn't know about what had really happened between Gabrielle and Steve – Frank wasn't the kind of boss and Charlotte wasn't the kind of friend to pass on information like that, even if it would have been handy for Zoe to know – she didn't give it a second thought. "Look, since Jack doesn't finish until an hour after you anyway, i was wondering if you could stay later?"

Rachel found herself blushing. Everyone knew that she and Jack had made plans for drinks after work, she herself had been excited – but now there seemed something a bit seedy about it. She told herself not to be silly, it wasn't like she had lied to Jack about anything, she hadn't seen him since Mary had been brought in and today, so whatever choices he had made, he had made on his own. But she couldn't get rid of the guilty feeling and having everyone know that she and Jack had some kind of quasi-drinks-date planned made her feel like she had obtained it by deception. "That's fine," she choked out.

The rest of the day seemed to crawl by. Rachel couldn't get the words on the two documents out of her head. Steve had beaten her up at something, or at least gotten a vicious blow in – they didn't hand out AVOs for slaps, even unprovoked ones – and when she'd called for help, Rachel's mind had only been on keeping them apart. She knew, in her heart of hearts, Jack would have gone straight over and completely forgotten about his dinner plans with Rachel... but how could she enjoy being with him knowing what she knew?

It was none of their business, she told herself. She had stumbled onto something she wasn't meant to see and anyway, Jack and Gabrielle weren't together, never had been, and weren't even friends anymore. Surely if they were, Gabrielle would have tried harder to get in touch with him? This line of thinking buoyed her up for a little while.

When knocking-off time rolled around for both of them, she couldn't help but curse him silently because he'd managed to have a patient vomit all over him, which meant he needed a shower, which meant cute spiky damp hair. "Hey," he said. "Ready to go?"

"Uh... yeah," she said shyly. She felt her heart flutter when he brought his arm around her back, his hand on the small of her back to lead her. It wasn't quite the same as wrapping his arm around her waist, but still...

"Something up?" he asked after half an hour when he noticed Rachel was quiet and contributing almost nothing to the conversation."Sorry?"

"You've hardly said two words since we got here," he said. "Don't tell me that I finally get my act together and you're seeing someone else." Her heart fluttered again. Was he serious? Oh, this wasn't fair. "Look, I need time – I want us to get to know each other the way Gabby and I knew each other before anything else happens. But I realise I'm was just making myself miserable thinking that she was ever going to care about me the way I wanted her to so I need to move on."

He spoke those words with such sincerity that Rachel almost managed to choke down her confession. It wasn't fair that he should finally be at peace with his estrangement with Gabrielle and looking at her in the light she wanted him to... and she was the one who knew how they felt about her. "I took a phone call from her," she blurted out.

"Huh?"

"When we went to Thai, and you were in the shower... she called and I answered. I'm sorry, Jack, I just wanted to protect you. She didn't leave a message of it so I forgot about it... but today I was looking for the rosters and I found something on Frank's desk... the reason she's not here is that Steve beat her up, or hit her or something, badly enough that she made a police statement and got an AVO. I guess she was calling for help but I just figured – I don't know what I was thinking, Jack, but if I'd known..."

Jack sat silently. Part of him wanted to lash out at her, both for not passing on the message and for answering his phone in the first place. He forced himself to calm down. She had meant well, and he believed her that she would have passed on her call if she'd known what it was about. "You weren't to know," he said. "Listen, can we take a raincheck?" he asked, and it was clear he wanted to go to Gabrielle.

She nodded, trying to hide her disappointed. She figured it would have come out anyway, she was only saving herself more disappointment further down the track. "Thanks, you're sweet," he said, getting up and kissing her on the cheek. He rushed out the door and got in his car, starting the engine and driving off, exceeding the speed limit. He had no idea what he was going to do or say once he got there, only that he had to see her, had to hash things out for her.

It was obvious she had installed a sophisticated security system since he had last been over and he felt for her. She must really be frightened. He knocked on the door. "Gabby, it's Jack," he said. There was no idea, though he was sure he heard her skulking around the other side of the door. "Gabby, I know everything. I know about Steve and the police charge and the AVO and you calling me. Rachel wasn't being malicious, she just thought she was protecting me." Still no answer. "I'm going to stand here and yell through the doors and I don't care what the neighbours here. And I'm working back in the ED now, so if you call the police, you're going to look pretty stupid for sicking them onto two of Frank's doctors."

Finally, he heard the click of the lock mechanisms sliding out. "My God," he breathed when he saw Gabrielle's bruised, swollen face. "I'll kill him. No, I'll cut off his dick," he decided. "You don't get to do this to a woman and still call yourself a man."

He held out his hands to cup her face, and she pulled away. The sight of Jack made her heart ache, and she was worried if she let him touch her... "Go away, this is none of your concern," she said.

She tried to pushed him out the door but he was far stronger and quicker than her and pushed his way in. "I said get out," she snapped at him, and he noted there was no fear in her voice, only irritation – and sadness. She was tired and beaten in spirit and body, and Jack hated Steve for it, hated himself nor not realising the kind of man Steve was and doing something about it. What, he wasn't sure, but he could have done something.

"I've come to tell you I'm in love with you," he blurted out.

It was the wrong thing to say. She looked at him tiredly. So much had happened in the last few weeks and now she just wanted to be left alone. He claimed to be in love with her, but had been with other women. She could overlook Mercedes, especially in light of the guilt he had felt after, but couldn't overlook Rachel. It had been a knife to her heart every time she thought about them in bed together. She knew he hadn't owed her anything but it hadn't stopped her heart from breaking. "Go away, jack," she said tiredly. "You slept with someone else."

"Mercedes was a mistake," he insisted. "I asked her if she was single. She lied to me."

"I'm not talking about Mercedes, Jack, I'm talking about Rachel/"

"I never slept with her.."

"What? She said she spent the night with you. And everyone knows how in love with you she is, and how much time you guys spent together. She answered your goddamn phone."

"She did. I just wanted the company. I knew how she felt about it – why d'you think I didn't sleep with her? Do you really think I could live with myself, having to work with her after doing something like that? And yeah, I have been spending a bit of time with her. She made me feel good about myself and I needed that. Besides," he added, his eyes narrowing at her hypocrisy, "you slept with Steve."

At this reminder, she felt her eyes fill with tears. "I didn't, Jack. What do you think we were fighting over? We were always finding over it, he was always pushing me. I'm frigid."

He was glad he didn't laugh, because Gabrielle was dead serious. But he had known her to come alive in his arms, even after Parker and his cronies had tried to rape her. "That's ridiculous," he said, ignoring the way her eyes flashed in anger when he said this. "Or were his charms enough to make you forget the way you were when we spent the night together?"

His sarcasm was singularly inappropriate. "Don't be a shit, Jack," she said. "You say you're in love with me, then how come you didn't fight for me? You know why I went with Steve? 'Cos he at least acted like he wanted to believe me. You paid me no attention after we slept together, you made every excuse you could not to come down to the ward. What was I supposed to think? If you'd just goddamn told me how you felt I would never would have been with Steve and he would never have got it into his head he had a right to me so just leave me the hell alone, I don't want to here it – hey! Get your hands off me!"

Jack had lunged at her, some wild instinct kicking it and making him act. He knew that what he had in mind would either shake her out of her apathy, skittishness and resignation – or even further destroy her sense of security and tenuous grip on normality. He brought his arms around her waist and pulled her tightly against him. For a few seconds he let her lash out at him with her fists until it actually hurt and reluctantly held them behind her. "Listen to me," he yelled at her over her own yelling voice. "I know you. I know the way you are with me. I know I make you feel safe and sexy. I know you know I'm not Parker or Steve or any of them. I'm me, Jack Quade, and I love you and I think you know that. I have done everything I could to make you feel safe but if that isn't enough, then say so and I'll never bother you again. Look at me and tell me you're scared of me. Look at me," he repeated, repositioning his hands so he could hold her wrists with one and wrenched her head so she was looking straight at him. "Say you're scared of me and I'll go," he said.

For a second their eyes locked and he prayed silently to a God he didn't even believe in that he'd gotten through to her. He knew how she felt, but was that enough for her to find it in herself? Or was she determined not to trust any man ever again?

He felt her struggle to remove her wrists from his hold and he let go, and gut instinct told him that weather it was with passion or hatred, she would respond with the same violence he had just used...

... She brought her hands to the back of his head and wrenched it down hard enough that even in the heat of the moment, he could feel the strain. He just didn't care. She pushed her mouth against his and kissed him as hungrily as he used to kiss her. He responded, matching her heat, meeting her tongue with his own, bringing his arms back around her back, running his hands up and down her back, down her ass and thighs... he felt her hands pulling frantically at his shirt, moving up his back, and he bucked roughly against her at the feeling of her hands on his bare skin. "Baby, baby, I've missed you," he murmured huskily.

They ended up on the floor, pulling at each other's clothes, trying to get closer than was humanely possible, obeying a heat that was foreign even to them. He didn't need to ask if she was ready for him when they were naked, and he plunged into her. She gripped his shoulders tightly and wrapped her legs around his waist, climaxing for the first time quickly as he pumped her furiously, thrusting her hips and meeting him on every stroke.

She surprised him when she motioned for him to get on his back. He obliged her and was oddly pleased at the sensation of having her ride him – he rarely enjoyed being underneath, he'd always figured it had something to do with his abuse. He grabbed her hips tightly and went along for the ride, so to speak, bringing her to orgasm again before he came to a shuddering climax of his own.

After a few minutes, she climbed off him and lay on her side next to him. They lay in silence for a while before she asked tentatively. "Jack?"

"Mmmmm?" he wasn't really in a talking mood, but if it was what she needed...

"I don't understand. I mean, Steve was never rough like that – I mean, not until the last night – and I never enjoyed it like that."

He smirked. "I was just thinking I don't usually like being underneath. Actually, usually I can't stand it. I think it has something to do with what happened to me, I don't like having someone on top of me. But it's different with you. And maybe it's different for you as well. You trust me. You feel safe with me."

She smiled at him and for a second it lit up her face and he could almost forget how awful her face looked. "That mean you trust me... you feel safe with me?" she asked.

"I guess so. I never thought about it like that."

She leaned in to kiss him. It was more gentle then their earlier kisses had been. Jack cupped her face with her hand until she flinched and pulled away. "Sorry," he said, realising he'd pressed his hand too hard against the bruised side of her face. He pushed her head up slightly so he could take another look at her. "If he ever contacts you, tell him he'd better stay the hell away from both of us or I really will kill him," he said quietly.

"I'd say he's long gone," she said. She didn't share Jack's loathing for Steve. She felt sorry for him. She had once loved him but now he was a wreck. Well, she had tried, and now he would have to do it on his own. She lay her cheek back of his chest and stroked his bare skin for a little while before erupting into a fit of giggles. "I really have to demand a higher standard from you, Jack. I keep letting you have your way with me wherever and whenever takes you fancy."

"You were totally hot for me every single time," he reminded her. He knew there was a long healing process ahead for both of them, but it was good that they could laugh about it. "And you, being the stubborn woman that you are, refused to admit it. D'you know how hard I had to work to get you to like me?"

"So... that big deal you made about needing to make our kisses look authentic... you just used that as an excuse to stick your tongue down my throat?" she asked. She couldn't believe it had taken her this long to figure out.

"I seem to recall someone taking potshots at my mother, enjoying the fact I couldn't do anything about it without exposing us," Jack retorted.

"Oh, come on, you loved it. I can't believe you'd let your sister say stuff like that to your girlfriend. And I got Bianca to quit, didn't I?"

"I never thought I'd find someone being so bitchy so sexy," Jack admitted. "I'm never going to cross you."

"Good. Because I won't tolerate violence or infidelity."

"Neither will I."

At her insistence, they moved to the bedroom, ordered Chinese and spent the night establishing what they wanted out of a relationship. It was one of the few things they had never really discussed, and they found they were perfectly compatible. "How in God's name are we going to explain this?" Gabrielle complained much, much later after they had worked up another sweat and completely messed up her bed. "People are going to talk something chronic." It really was too good not to talk about.

"Let them talk. I love you. And I get to play knight in shining armour all over again."

"I love you too. But only for you will I play damsel in distress."

"What, that was your idea of damsel in distress? You were a pain in the ass every step of the way."

Laughing, she went to slap him playfully. He caught it easily, and pulled her close to him for a kiss, thinking as he ran his hands the length of her body that he no longer needed an excuse.

THE END