xXx-9-xXx
Dean went back upstairs carrying a cup and a pitcher. The pill bottles were jammed into his pockets. He didn't want Cas to be taking those without supervision, so he damn sure wasn't gonna leave the bottles lying around. He nudged the bedroom door open with his elbow and was met with a grumble.
"Mmmpfh. 'M thirsty."
He rolled his eyes. "Hold on, Shaggy."
"Stop calling me that." Cas pouted up at him. Not glared. Pouted, and it was all Dean could do to stop himself from busting out laughing.
"Nope. I've gotta distinguish between future-you and now-you somehow, and since you're all shaggy…" Dean ruffled a hand through the fallen angel's hair to illustrate his point, "This is how I'm doin' it. Now drink up."
Instead of straight water, the pitcher was full of watered-down gatorade, and Ellen had pushed a protein shake, some toast and a bowl of fruit at him. Ellen and Sam had insisted that they try to get some kind of nourishment into Shaggy, and aside from burgers, they had no idea what the guy even liked to eat. They figured that toast and fruit were a safe bet, and dude needed some protein. Even if he didn't want to eat any of it, they could always tell him that he couldn't take the pills on an empty stomach. He'd figure out the truth soon enough, but for now, the white lie would be useful.
"Oh, here. I got something for ya." Dean turned away and fished one pill out of each bottle. He squinted and saw that Sam had broken all of the benzos in half, which was actually a really freaking good idea. The lower dose might not help Shaggy as much, but it reduced the chances of him getting hooked.
Shaggy's eyes lit up. "Are those…?"
Dean grinned. "Pharm-fresh pills just for you, buddy. There are instructions on the bottles, but I'm gonna be the one doling them out, okay? And I'm only gonna be giving you enough benzos to help you through the next week or so, 'cause the last thing we need is getting you hooked on something new, and after that we'll be sticking to antidepressants unless you decide you don't need 'em anymore."
Shaggy nodded his understanding and held his hand out, his eyes riveted on the bottles in Dean's hand. Dean tried to ignore how damn happy the fallen angel looked at the prospect of downing a fistfull of pills, and the hunter reminded himself that it was medicine, not drugs.
He opened the protein shake that Sam had picked up at the pharmacy and handed it over before giving up the pills. "Here, take'em with this." A few gulps later, Shaggy sat back against the scrunched-up pillows and closed his eyes.
"You're not supposed to take these on an empty stomach, so you've gotta drink the rest of that stuff," he nodded at the shake that the former angel had already downed some of. Shaggy was looking at him suspiciously, so Dean put on his best charming smile and nodded at the rest of the food. "And you should chase it with some of the fruit Ellen sent up for you."
His charm was clearly on the fritz, because Shaggy just rolled his eyes and settled further into the mound of pillows. "M'not hungry, Dean."
"Sorry, man. Doctor's orders. If you want any more of those pills, you're gonna have to eat."
Cas opened one baleful eye, grumbled, and closed it again. "Or what?"
Dean sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Man, I'm not threatening you. I just want to get you healthy, and that means you've gotta eat so you can get your strength back." The ex-angel only grunted, so Dean nudged him. "I know you're not gonna be hungry for a while, but that's just the drugs washing outta your system, and you've just gotta wait for it to blow over. I'm not gonna force feed you, but I'm sure as hell not gonna sit here and watch you starve, so eat the damn fruit."
He took a few breaths, trying to calm himself down. Barking orders was the last thing he wanted to do just then. Besides, he realized that he was starting to sound like the future version of himself, and Dean had sworn that he would never become that guy. After he'd gotten his zen on, Dean reached out and shook Shaggy's shoulder. "Hey, it isn't all gonna be fruit crap and toast. That's just what we had here, and I'll get you better stuff after this, okay? Stuff you'll like. I'll even go on a burger run if you want, later, but first you've gotta eat some of this."
Shaggy cracked his eyes open and blinked sullenly at the fruit. "I'm not eating all of it."
"Okay," Dean grabbed a piece of… something. He didn't know what kind of fruit it was. It was green, and he popped a cube of it into his mouth. "I'll have some too. So long as we empty at least half the plate, Ellen'll be happy."
Shaggy grumbled but picked up a strawberry. They managed to finish off most of the fruit – Dean hadn't realized how much of it was stuff he liked – and then after some more cajoling, Shaggy polished off the protein shake, too. Once that was done, he dutifully capped the empty container and put it aside.
Dean was surprised to see that Shaggy was side-eyeing him. "Did you eat?"
"Yeah. Ellen and-" he cut himself off, remembering that Bobby was dead in the future Shaggy was from, and he wasn't sure how out of it the ex-angel was at the moment.
His answer was a tired sigh. "I remember where I am, Dean, and what year it is. I know we're at Bobby's house and that he and Ellen have been trying to take care of me."
Dean gave a half-smile. "Yeah, but it took my magic touch to calm you down."
Shaggy smirked, but seemed to decide not to take that thought in an R-rated direction. When he did say something, it wasn't what Dean expected. "I'm glad you came, Dean. Didn't think you would… thought you'd left me again, but you came when I needed you."
Dean held back a groan.
Great.
Feelings.
His favorite.
Dean decided to nut-up and just be honest. "Yeah, well… you'd do the same for me."
Shaggy smiled at that. "So, what did Ellen make for dinner?"
Sweet, blessed subject-change. "Eggs, bacon and chili. Bobby worked on it too. Sounds like they've been fighting over spices for hours, and whether it's better to add whiskey or tequila to the mix. I got outta there before they could drag me into it, but Sam wasn't so lucky."
The ex-angel laughed a little and shifted against the pillows piled at the head of the bed, moving until he was semi-reclined against them. His eyes had closed at some point, and Dean noticed how slow and deep his breathing had become.
"How you doin', Cas?"
Shaggy nodded to himself, "I'mkay." He blinked heavily and nestled his head further into the pillows. "Sleepy."
Dean felt something loosen in his chest. "That's great." He put the washcloth back on Shaggy's head and tucked the blanket around him. "You just get some shuteye."
"Thank you, Dean."
"You're welcome, buddy."
Shaggy hummed quietly to himself and curled into Dean's side like he'd done earlier, letting his head tilt to rest on the hunter's shoulder and completely ignoring the pillows.
Dean shifted, not entirely comfortable with the cuddling. He'd put up with it earlier, figuring it might help Shaggy get the sleep he needed, but Dean didn't want to encourage the guy, or have it become a habit. "Hey, why don't you use the pillow?"
Shaggy blinked up at him sleepily, a look of confusion settling on his face. "Why would I do that? This is how we always go to sleep."
Dean pulled back, trying to understand what he'd just heard. "Wait, what are you talking about? We've never done this."
Shaggy's eyes slid shut and he grumbled. "Right, I forgot that you don't know about us."
He didn't want to believe what he was hearing. Sure, he cared about Cas. Hell, the guy was his best friend – emphasis on friend – but it sounded like Shaggy was saying something else altogether. "'Us'? There's no us, man."
A tired shrug and Shaggy settled himself on the pillows, curling up like a large cat. "There was… or will be. In my future."
"What? No!" Dean shook his head, shifting away from him on the bed. "There's no way that would happen."
Shaggy flinched further away from his angry outburst, and Dean scrubbed a hand over his face, feeling like the world's biggest dick. Dude was sick, and the last thing he needed, hell, the last thing Dean wanted to do, was yell at him. It just… yeah, he knew that things had gotten weird between Shaggy and future Dean, but he didn't know why, and he sure as hell hadn't expected Shaggy to just come right out and say that they'd been together. That was a little too much for him to handle just then. Sure, he'd man up and do almost anything to help out his friend, but that was all they were: best friends. And as far as he was concerned, that was all they'd ever be.
"I thought future-me was screwing around with Risa or whatever that other chick's name was? Man, you were getting ready to have an orgy, and you're gonna sit there and tell me we were together? And I'm not into dudes, so how does that make any sense?"
Shaggy blinked at him. "Well, the apocalypse made you not care about a lot of things. Hygiene, manners and human lives were some of them. Whatever other people thought about who you fucked was another."
"Well, I'm not a Dean who's okay with that, so you just… don't get any ideas. And don't get handsy."
"I promise, Dean. I won't touch you in any way that you wouldn't feel comfortable touching Sam."
Dean felt himself start to breathe again. "Okay. Good. Good talk."
If it was what Shaggy needed to get through his detox, Dean figured he could damn well tough out some man-cuddling and be there for his friend. Hell, future-Dean had been such a dick to the guy, Dean figured it was the least he could do. Not that the idea of him and Cas being a thing in the future didn't freak him out, because it did, but he wasn't about to let that get in the way of taking care of his friend… so long as Shaggy didn't try anything.
A quiet mumble from Shaggy pulled him out of his thoughts. "Why are you doing this?"
Wasn't it obvious? Cas was his best friend. Hell, the guy was family, almost a second brother. Another weird, nerdy brother… but with wings. Well, this Cas didn't have wings anymore, but… Dean shook his head. He really should be used to being part of a screwed up family by this point, but trying to wrap his head around the two-Cas situation still occasionally threw him.
"Because you're family. And, hey, how many times have you saved my ass? 'Raised me from Perdition' and all that crap?"
Shaggy frowned into the pillow, finally letting out a half-muffled, "So… now you're watching over me?"
"Yeah, I am. I owe you, I care about you, and I want to make damn sure that you're gonna be okay, so I'm lookin' after you, and that's all there is to it."
Shaggy curled in close to Dean's side with a quiet sigh, "Mmmpff. Thanks."
Dean let his arm relax around Shaggy's shoulders. It seemed like that was the only way this Cas could get to sleep – by using Dean as a pillow – and Dean was surprised by how okay he was with it. Dude didn't smell bad, and he hadn't tried anything weird, like getting a case of wandering hands, but he was still a dude. That freakout was probably stuck in traffic somewhere, but Dean was sure that it was coming down the pike.
"So…" Dean had no friggin' clue how to ask this question, so he was just gonna go ahead and ask. "In the future, you and me… there's something going on there?"
Shaggy shifted against him. "There was, for a while… and then there wasn't." He made an unhappy sound. "We still… every once in awhile, but neither one of us is exclusive." The fallen angel let out a bitter chuckle that sounded completely wrong coming from any version of Cas. "The apocalypse isn't exactly good for fidelity. People pretty much play the field or go without, 'cause there's a decent chance that your partner will end up dead before too long, and being monogamous is a good way to go crazy… y'know, all that grief, over and over."
"Huh."
Dean turned that thought over. It made sense, but that didn't make it any less disturbing. What's-her-name dying was bound to sting a hell of a lot less than losing the love of your life, but there was a kind of… hardness to that fact which just didn't sit well with him. He really didn't like the idea of his future self sleeping around and treating their group at Camp Chitaqua as his personal harem. It had already horrified him that future-him had fed his… their… whatever friends and comrades in arms into a meat grinder for a frigging diversion, but if some of those people had also been his lovers? That was some next-level shit.
Shaggy huffed out a breath. "Hmm."
Dean frowned up at the ceiling. "What?"
The fallen angel shrugged. "I mean, you've never been the most open-minded person on the subject of sexual orientation. Guess I'm just… waiting for the inevitable gay-panic about you being with a dude, or lying in a bed with a dude that future you had a 'thing' with."
Dean grunted. "Yeah, well, so am I. Dunno why it hasn't happened yet." He glanced over at Shaggy. "Maybe you not being weird and grabby is part of it. I'm okay with this-" he gestured vaguely with his free arm, encompassing the covers and the way that Shaggy was curled up and using him as a teddy bear, "So long as you don't try to make anything happen. Besides, it's not like there are a lot of extra beds around here. My choices are pretty much bunk with you or sleep on the floor downstairs, and this way I get to sleep on a mattress and avoid Bobby's snoring and Sam farting in the middle of the night. Bobby snores like a chainsaw, and my kid brother is toxic for hours after he's had anything with cheese in it."
Shaggy gave a drowsy chuckle. "So I've heard."
Dean frowned. No one should sound that fond when they were talking about gigantor's death farts. Being stuck in the car with Sam after they ate burritos… yeah, that was one of those mistakes that you only make once, and he'd made sure that never happened again. Even made a rule for it: no burritos before we hit the road.
He wasn't sure why, but he tightened his arm around Shaggy's shoulders. "You weren't the one who called it quits, were you? Future me gave you the boot."
Shaggy took so long to reply that when he finally spoke, it took Dean by surprise. "Yeah."
Dean shook his head, unable to ignore the heartbroken tone in the ex-angel's voice. "I'm sorry about that, man. Really, that's just…" he let out an angry huff and tried to collect himself as he unwillingly put the pieces together. So, in the bad future, he and Cas had been together, and then at some point Future-Dean had broken Cas' heart, and even after that, Cas stuck around and kept taking Future-Dean's orders, helping out on missions and around the camp? That must have been rough… and hell, it might even be why Cas had started sleeping around, popping pills and drinking like a fucking fish. Sam mentioned something about the drinking and drugs being a way of self-medicating to deal with the apocalypse, but now Dean suspected that living in zombieland was only part of the reason.
"What? I like past you."
Small wonder, since the Dean from 2009 was one who Shaggy probably had fond memories of. It actually explained a lot, and now that he had a hunch about why the ex-angel was so screwed up and bitter, Dean found himself missing the mystery. He remembered how strained Future-Cas and Future-Dean's reactions had been, the attitude and sniping from Shaggy, and how dismissive Future-Dean was to his oldest friend.
"You saying my plan is reckless?"
"Are you saying we, uh, walk in straight up the driveway, past all the demons and the Croats, and we shoot the devil?"
"Yes."
"Okay, if you don't like, uh, 'reckless', I could use 'insouciant', maybe."
"Are you coming?"
"Of course."
Dean shook his head. Shaggy was all kinds of messed up, but he was loyal. Even with how much they didn't even seem to like each other anymore, which, to be honest, had been very confusing at the time, Shaggy was still willing to put his life in Future-Dean's hands.
"That's… I don't even know what to say, man. I'm just sorry that future-me was such a frigging dick."
Cas – he was having a harder time separating the two of them in his mind – gave a defeated-sounding sigh. "The apocalypse will do that to you." He let out a jaw-cracking yawn and tugged at the covers, just seeming so human that it was easy to forget all the Angel-of-the-Lord stuff. "I'm surprised you're talking about this."
Dean shook his head again and adjusted the washcloth on his angel's forehead. "Yeah, well, maybe I'm banking on you being too strung out and messed up to remember that we ever had this conversation."
Cas laughed, sounding bitter and resigned and reassured all at once. "Now, that's the Dean I know."
Dean let his eyes close. They'd been at Bobby's for less than a day, and it seemed like all he'd done during that time was look after Cas and sleep. He'd slept for most of the afternoon after they arrived – once he'd gotten Cas settled down – and now it was after dinner time, so he shouldn't still be tired, but he was. Well, Cas needed to sleep, and if he needed a Winchester-shaped teddy-bear to do it, Dean could deal. And if that meant that Dean could catch up on some of the doubtless thousands of hours of sleep-debt he'd racked up during the last decade of hunting, he guessed that wasn't too shabby, either.
He shifted in the bed, toeing off his socks and tugging at the pillows until he was comfortable. Once that was done, he grabbed a blanket from the foot of the bed and spread it over himself, leaving Cas under his own blanket in his t-shirt and boxers. Dude still had a fever, but it wasn't as bad as it had been, and if the ex-angel got cold, there were more blankets.
"Get some sleep, Cas. We'll work on savin' the world later."
A/N: So, Sam is getting on the Destiel train, and Dean is sort of coming around to the idea – in the sense of him not having a total freakout and being okay essentially cuddling with his future-self's lover – but it isn't clear where 2009 Castiel stands on the issue. Since the Destiel fics I've seen tend to follow the Cas-is-pining/doesn't-know-how-to-identify-emotions-and-Dean-is-oblivious pattern, or the slightly rarer but still common Dean-realizes-his-feelings-but-thinks-Cas-doesn't-reciprocate pattern, I'm trying to do something different. Not sure it will work without the boys going OOC, but here's hoping! Also, I have the horrible feeling that the guys are OOC here, so if you think they are, please give me a shout and I'll try to fix it.
