Disclaimer: Don't own ER. Have had a mammoth case of writers block regarding this whole fic, and I've tried to make myself write it numerous times, but just couldn't get it. But the muses started to play again today and they wrote this part, a lot of the next chapter, and part of another chapter as well, and I even know where I'm going with it again, which is a relief, because I'm enjoying writing it. I've not got Frank quite right but I couldn't get it to work however I tried. Hope you enjoy it, and reviews please!
Dr John Truman Carter III has been at County since before filming started. He comes from a very wealthy family who have a lot of influence over Chicago life. He is a very dedicated and compassionate doctor, who has spent a great deal of time working with the Doctors Without Borders program in Africa. He returned to the ER in the summer of 2007 and took over the position of Chief of the ER soon afterwards.
He's the only one of those being interviewed for this series to wear a suit and tie, he still looks younger than his years, but you can tell that his eyes and heart have experienced a lot in their lifetime, and that he's become a better person, a better doctor because of it.
What made you return from Africa?He straightens up in his seat as the questions start
There was no one particular thing, I just didn't feel like I was putting my all into it, and out there they need you to give everything. After Joshua died I couldn't give that, my marriage to Kem fell apart, grief isn't a basis for a marriage, so I decided to come back to Chicago, take stock, work out what I wanted from life, I had no intention of returning to County, I was just coming home to work out what to do next. That was what I was thinking on the plane, in the cab. It was 9pm by the time my flight landed, because of the time difference and the jet lag I wasn't tired and I wanted to see some friendly faces. Where else would I go? I asked the cab driver to take me to County. It was strange to walk in there after a year, there was something eerie about the place that night, it was full of patients, I'd expected that, I'd heard about the bomb, but there was an eerie silent undertone. Frank was in a particular odd mood.
He shakes his head despairingly as he remembers
Flashback
'Here comes the hero returning for the final act' Frank murmured as John Carter entered.
He looked at Frank with confusion.
'You know at the end of the theatre, once the evil foreign villain has died, the young maiden has fallen into a stupor, not so young in this case, the other young maiden is on her death bed on her way to see the angels, though that's probably wrong cause they don't believe in heaven do they, and the hero returns to save the day and make everything right'
'God, that's sick' Chuni murmured as she walked away.
Carter turned to the only person left that he knew. 'Morris, I can't believe I'm asking you this, but can you explain what's going on here? What's Frank talking about?' He couldn't believe he was asking Morris for a sensible answer, but there didn't appear to be anyone else he knew to ask
'Well man, you heard about the bomb?'
'Yeah, it was all across the papers when I landed' he'd taken a glancing look at them as he walked through the airport, the headlines were split between the plane crash and the bomb, a busy day for the press, and this place would have been busy as well.
'Neela was there. It turns out that she was near the centre of the blast, they brought her in around 4.30 I think, she's been in the OR for the last few hours, It's not looking good though, last time I rang up they still couldn't stop the bleeding'
Shit, his mind flung him back to the time when Lucy and he had been stabbed, and the horrors of coming to terms with the death of a close friend and colleague. His heart went out to all his old colleagues, it would take them a long time to accept what had happened, hopefully they'd be able to support each other and wouldn't slip off the rails like he had. He knew about Michael's death, it didn't seem fair that Neela should die as well so soon after. But as tragic as that was he thought there was still more to come.
'That's not everything is it?' A chill went up his spine before Morris spoke again, a momentary flash of realisation that faded quickly away.
'Luka was flying to Croatia today, he was on the 3.30 flight to Paris, the one that crashed'
'Abby?' Oh god, let her be okay, she was one of his closest friends, but he knew that even if she wasn't on the flight she wouldn't be okay, not if Luka was dead.
'We've had to sedate her, she's in the break room, Sam's with her'
End FlashbackYou stayed with Abby that night?
I couldn't leave her could I? She looked so peaceful lying there, though you could still see tears tracks on her cheeks. Speaking to Sam was refreshing, none of the self-importance of Morris or strangeness of Frank. She told me the situation straight. She explained that a hotline had been set up for concerned relatives and friends but she hadn't been able to get through, hadn't wanted to leave Abby. That was something tangible I could do, and there was no point discussing anything else until we were sure he was on the flight.
I stood out in the bay, listening to recorded message after recorded message for almost an hour before I got through to the call centre. The girl I spoke to confirmed that Dr Kovac had checked in and boarded the plane. She told me that everything humanly possible was being done to find any survivors but that due to the nature of the incident that it was unlikely. She was a young girl, an ER fan, and was devastated to hear that one of the men she hero-worshiped was on that flight. It was kind of surreal comforting someone who'd never met him. I felt deflated when I came off the line, I'd been hoping that he hadn't been on the flight so that I could go back in with positive news, but it wasn't to be.
How did you feel about Luka's death?
It was a strange one, we'd never been particularly close when we worked together, but the reason for that was the one thing we had most in common, Abby. But the time we'd spent in Africa had made me greatly respect him, he'd been through a hell of a lot, losing his wife and kids in such an atrocious way had definitely had an effect on him, you would have had to have been made of stone for it not to. He went through a lot when he came to Chicago as well. While we sat at Abby's bedside Sam tried to get me to leave, said I must be jet lagged but I couldn't leave Abby. I felt she needed me, Neela, her closest friend, had such a tenuous grip on life and it was unlikely she would survive to be able to comfort Abby, and we'd always been friends, I couldn't leave her.
He rubs a hand over his face as if to ease the memories that the questioning is conjuring
Sam filled me in on everything that had happened since I left. Being in the middle of nowhere in Africa, I must have been one of the few people who didn't know about Joe's premature birth, Luka almost dying, Ames, the wedding; it felt like I'd been away for a lifetime. It sounded like they were finally happy and settled and then this happened. Luka was one of life's good guys, Sam told me that he'd even quit, only a few weeks earlier, as ER Chief because he hated all the bureaucracy, all the time spent not being a real doctor, he wanted to treat patients not deal with paperwork. It's a sign of the times I know, but I've heard that said by so many ER Chiefs.
Morris came in at one point, I've never seen him that subdued, it was like the stuffing had been knocked out of him, he said that Greg had just called down from the OR and they'd just pronounced Neela. Sam was devastated. All I could think of was the intelligent, quiet, unconfident girl who'd started her internship with Abby. My strongest memory of her was when she threw a snowball at Ray Barnett in the ambulance bay one Christmas because he'd lied to her to get her to cover his shift, its strange the things you remember about a person. I could remember the teasing and the banter between her and Barnett, but from what Sam had told me, it had become more than that, a more unlikely pair I couldn't imagine, but it wasn't a really a pairing was it? My heart went out to Ray, if he really felt the way Sam thought about Neela, his heart must have been breaking, like Abby's was.
When did Abby wake up?
It was a few minutes after Morris came in, we were doing that thing people do when someone they know dies, the whispering quietly about how it shouldn't happen to someone so young, that she'd been through so much. We didn't realise Abby was awake. We could have handled that so much better. It was an awful way for her to find it out, even though she pretty much knew it was going to happen. She showed no reaction, she just asked for Joe. Sam had had some foresight and Joe, and his nanny, where waiting in the doctor's lounge. Even though she started to cry again when she saw him, just being with him meant so much to her. It made me see what I had missed with my son. I almost felt like I was intruding. I never imagined Abby being maternal, but seeing her with Joe, she was amazing; it was like another side to her that I'd never seen before.
What made you decide to come back to County?
He sits up a bit straighter; this is a question that is easier for him to deal withIt was any number of little things, how they all rallied together after all that had happened, it reminded me of how much of a family it was there, a family that I was closer to and cared more about than my own.
I spent a lot of time with Abby after Luka died, and when the others visited I heard them all complaining about how awful Moretti was, how he was trying to knock that caring, family atmosphere out of the place, and I didn't want to see that happen. I wanted the ER to be the kind of place it had always been, the kind of place that would be welcoming for Abby when she decided to return, somewhere that Ray could come back to when he'd completed his rehabilitation; it wasn't going to be that with Moretti there. But even with my strong ties to the hospital board I couldn't get him sacked, he hadn't done anything wrong and he was improving the statistics, which is all the board cared about.
I accepted a position as an attending, back doing what I used to do. It was like a quiet revolution, we were all waiting for Moretti to screw up, passing on information on what he was rumoured to be planning next. It was only a matter of time, his plans were getting more extreme, he started staffing the ER mainly with interns and students, reducing the number of attendings and R3's on duty at any one time hence reducing the costs, consults could only be called for by him or an attending. It started to get really messy.
In the end an occupied apartment building collapsed due to subsidence, one hundred people trapped and injured, all he had on was four interns, two students and himself. Sam went over his head and called us all in, even though he said they were coping, but in the time that took, people died who would have survived if they'd had adequate treatment. It became apparent to the board that he was unstable, that and the abuse that he hurled at Sam when he found out what she'd done, which was almost tantamount to sexual harassment, was enough for them to get rid of him, and I ended up in the post which I never though I wanted but I love it. I know how to deal with the kind of people that are on the board, I've been doing it all of my life, and we've improved the ER, our stats are still good, but, I think, it's more importantly, a good place to work. We've got Abby and Ray back now, full time. It's been really hard for them both, especially him, there were times when I thought he'd never make it, one of the biggest hurdles was getting him to come through the doors of the ER. It seems like something so small but for him it was accepting that life would never be like it was before.
He smiles proudly
But they're doing really well, and next year I think we're going to have quite a battle to choose our Chief Resident.
So how do you feel about the cameras leaving?
It's going to be strange; they've been here for so long the cameramen and women are almost part of the family here. It think it's time though, what happened last year put such a strain on everyone and playing that out in front of the cameras and the world didn't help any of us. Some things that happened wouldn't have happened if the hospital hadn't been in the public eye.
He talks passionately about a subject which is clearly close to his heart We deal with peoples lives here, we put our lives on the line almost everyday and we only make headlines when things go wrong, we need to go back to being a normal ER department, not one whose doctors love lives make the news headlines.Do you really think that's possible?
I don't know. I hope it is. These doctors and nurses need some privacy to get on with their lives. I want Sam to be able to walk down the street without someone telling her where she went wrong bringing up Alex. I want Abby to be able to take Joe to the park without a well meaning person telling her how much they miss Luka. I want Ray to be able to go to a bar without strangers coming up to him to tell him that he should have told Neela how he felt before she married Michael, and I want people to stop abusing Greg for being homophobic when he isn't. I don't know how long it will take for that to happen, but I have to hope it will. These people deserve not to have to deal with these things anymore; they've been through enough already.
And you, do you deserve that too?
He looks straight into the camera as he answers, honesty prevailing in his eyes
I hope I do. That was one of the reasons I left in the first place. There are some situations you don't want to deal with in front of millions of viewers. My son's death was one of those. I've been very cautious in my private life since I came back, I don't want whoever I have a relationship with next to be dragged through everything that Kem and Wendell had to go through. I want my private life to be just that, private.
Another member of the ER staff reveals more to us tomorrow at the same time.