I just watched the Hetalia movie for the second time! It was super hilarious XD Also, any ideas for upcoming chapters? I'm still kinda stumped. PM me if you do! Also, I'm reading Seven Little Killers right now. Seriously, that story's really fucked up, but also amazingly written. If you haven't read it yet, your life is incomplete. Is anyone actually reading this anymore? Whatever. XD I think I'm going to delete the apologies chapter. Also, I edited some of the previous chapters, so make sure you read the updated version. Okay, I'll stop rambling. Read and review. Hopefully review. Probably review. In case you don't get the message, review, my preties! *evil cackle*
Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or Spongebob. Or Netflix, for that matter. Or Tylenol. Doing disclaimers really makes me realize how much stuff I don't own XD
When we arrive home, I collapse on the couch and close my eyes. "I may have said this before, but I'm never taking you guys anywhere ever again."
Ivan and Gil, who are standing in front of me, rub their scalps and grimace. "Yeah, you've mentioned it." mutters Gil. I open my eyes long enough to glare at them. Tony comes in and sits on the couch beside me. Gil and Ivan follow his lead and sit on my other side. Ivan climbs over and sits on my lap. "What do you want to do, Mother Russia?" he asks. I rub my hands over my face. "Die."
"Come on Starr, don't be such a party pooper. Let's watch some Spongebob!" says Tony, grabbing the Wii remote. I open my eyes again and look at him. Seriously? Of course, he is serious, as he's already navigated to Netflix and is selecting an episode. I roll my eyes and transfer Ivan onto Tony's lap, getting up and going to the kitchen. I need some ice cream.
I reach into the freezer, pulling out a tub of Rocky Road ice cream. I debate whether I should get a bowl, then decide against it and grab a spoon. I'll just eat it right out of the tub. I'm partway up the stairs before I remember something. I step back downstairs and grab my laptop charging cable, then go up to my room. If this continues, I'm going to need therapy.
:x:x:x:x:x:
Crash. Bang. Scream.
I grumble and lift up my head, opening my eyes. Wait a second. Opening my eyes? Was I asleep? I look around and see my open laptop (which I must have been using a a pillow) in front of me,and an empty tub of ice cream on my left. Right. I exhausted the internet, finished my ice cream and promptly fell asleep.
Thump. Screech.
What is that? I guess I should go check it out. I roll off the bed and onto the floor, grabbing that baseball bat. That thing always comes in handy, doesn't it? I take a breath and head downstairs. What awaits me is nothing less than idiotic.
Gilbert and Tony are playing catch with Ivan. Well, that just happened. Maybe I should do something about it, huh?
"TONY! GILBERT! PUT IVAN DOWN NOW!" I bellow, making the older boys jump. They must not have noticed me come downstairs. I yell again. "SERIOUSLY! PUT HIM DOWN!"
Of course Gilbert, who's currently holding Ivan, does the immature thing and drops Ivan onto the floor. Ivan gets up and scrambles over to me, hiding behind my legs and whimpering. Tony and Gil take a step closer to each other and grin at me. "Is there a problem, Albie?" asks Tony.
"Other than the fact that you're playing catch with a child, no!" I say sarcastically, scooping up Ivan in my arms. He immediately scrambles up and sits on my shoulders, clutching my head. I let out a small hiss of pain when he hits my bandages, and he loosens his grip. I turn my attention back to the culprits, who are trying to sneak out, keeping a sharp eye on me. They notice I've seen them, and they freeze and grin sheepishly at me. They seem to be doing that a lot lately. I lower Ivan to the floor and lean down to him.
"Ivan, go to your room. I have some buisness I neet to take care of." I say, expecting him to obey. However, Ivan stands his ground and shakes his head, looking at me and pulling that freaking pipe out of nowhwhere. "But I want to help, Mother Russia! They were mean to me, so I want to get back at them. Or at least Tony. Da, he's going to get what he deserves." Well, that's not creepy at all. I open my mouth to object, but then it occurs to me that he might actually be a good asset; he is Russia after all, no matter how old (or young) he is. Insted, I just nod and ruffle his hair. "Fine. On three we go at 'em, okay?" I say, glancing at the now terrified boys. Russia follows my gaze and nods.
'Three!" I scream, charging off with Ivan close behind. Tony an Gil pretty mush piss themselves with fear, but only Gilbert has the common sense to grab a weapon at first. The weapon of choice is an umbrella left over from the last rain shower, however. Welp, they're screwed.
I start off by tripping Gil with my baseball bat. What, you didn't think I'd actually be hitting anyone with it, did you? I'm not that cruel! Anyways, Gil falls backwards and lands on his butt. He still manages to hit me shin with the umbrella, which hurts a lot more than I thought it would. Meanwhile, Ivan is getting strategic jabs at Tony while simultaneously avoiding the older boy's punches. I don't think Tony's really trying though. Whatever. Gilbert has taken advantage of my distraction, seeing as he's on his feet now. I whirl around in a defensive stance, but it's too late and Gil does the same thing to me as I did to him; with one quick swing, he hits the back of my knees and makes me fall back onto the couch.
"Shit!" I hiss as I fall back, my head hitting the back of the couch. Black spots appear at the edge of my vision, but I blink them away quickly. I grab the nearest object and hurl it at my fellow albino. He ducks, but it's not soon enough as it bounces off the top of his head and, miraculously, lands on a pillow behind him completely unbroken. Gil looks up at me incredulously, rubbing the spot where he's sure to have a bruise. Just then, a loud squeal peirces the room. Us two albinos turn to the sound, me expecting to see Tony sitting on Ivan again. However, I see the exact opposite. Ivan is standing on top of Tony; well, more like jumping on him. Seriously, Ivan is using Tony as a human trampoline. With every jump, Tony emits another squeak.
I glance to my right, where Gil is standing. He's frozen is place, staring at Ivan with a mix of terror and awe. It is pretty awesome that Ivan is doing that, and I'd like to watch a bit longer, but it looks like Tony's going to start coughing up blood soon if I don't intervene. I sigh and go over to the boys, catching Ivan mid-jump and holding him under my arm like a football. He screeches briefly, stuggling, but then goes limp and crosses his arms. Tony is lying on the floor catching his breath. I watch him until he can breathe properly, then poke him between the shoulder blades to get his attention and offer my hand. He takes it gratefully and I haul him to his feet. Gil wanders over, rubbing his head. He looks at me, holding out his hand. "Truce?" he asks, and I take his hand and shake it. "Truce." I confirm.
"Ivan, wanna go upstairs and grab me the first aid kit? It's in the hall closet." I ask. Ivan nods and runs upstairs, returning a minute later with the red bag.
"Good. I need to get an ice pack on my head, because the Awesome Me can't have a blemish on my awesome head!" Gilbert proclaims, snatching the first ait kit and pulling out a cloth. The he runs to the kitchen and comes back with it soaked in cold water and pressed to his head. "This will have to work for now. I'll find something more awesome later."
Tony's now rummaging through the first aid kit, pulling out a bottle of extra strength Tylenol. He looks like he's going to down the whole bottle, but he shakes out two and swallows them dry. Then it's my turn for the kit, but instead of taking anything, I just borrow the bottle of painkillers from Tony and swallow two as well.
I try to pass the kit to Ivan, only to find him curled up on the couch asleep. I glance at Tony and Gil, who are outlining their injuries, before turning back to Ivan and pulling a blanket over him. He unconciously curls up tighter, and I smile. He's so sweet. Tony and Gilbert's discussion is steadily growing louder, until it gets to the point where there's a risk of waking the sleeping Russian.
I walk up to the noisy pair and jab them between the shoulder blades. They yelp and involutairily tense their muscles, effectively cutting off their conversation. That's a pretty good trick, but there's also several pressure points that work better; however, I won't get into that right now. They turn around and glare at me, and I smirk. "Just thought I'd let you know Ivan and I are going to sleep. That means shut the fuck up. Goodnight!" I say, waving and going upstairs. I can almost hear the boys roling their eyes, but I disregard this and enter my room,closing the door and collapsing onto the bed. I really hope the next Unit is a relatively sane one. With that rather comforting thought in my head, I drift off into sleep.
A/N: This is one really fucking long chapter! Well, not as long as some of my other ones, but it feels like it took an exceptionally long time because I had it all typed out, but I didn't save it, and then my idiot sister got on my laptop and closed everything! Bleh. However, I do think that the rewritten chapter is better than the old one XD Moral of the story: SAVE YOUR WORK. Anyhoo, read and review! Seriously, if you review, you get a hug from Spain!
Spain: MY BODY IS READY.
... Not creepy at all, buddy. Also, notice how this fic doesn't have a cover? If you guys, my loyal followers, have any suggestions for an image that would fit this story, I'd love to hear them! Send me a pm with a link in it if you do. Okay, I'll stop rambling now.
Magic unicorns of happiness from What The C!
